Why Do Male Employees Avoid Asking for Help? Men and Help-Seeking at Work

Men and help-seeking is a silent risk at work. Find out why male employees avoid asking for support and what employers can do to close the gap.

In many workplaces an employee helpline is set up, a counselling service is announced and training is organised; yet when you look at the list of people using the service, the number of male employees remains strikingly low. But men experience stress, loss, debt, family problems, sleeplessness and depression at least as much as women do. The difference lies in how they carry and voice that burden. The distance between men and help-seeking comes back to the workplace as angry outbursts, alcohol use, workplace accidents, sudden resignations and mental health that quietly worsens. In this article, for employers, HR managers, factory managers and occupational health and safety (OHS) specialists, I look at why male employees avoid asking for support, how this shows up in working life, and how organisations can shorten that distance.

Men and Help-Seeking: Why Is the Problem Invisible?

Psychological strain is an experience anyone can have, regardless of gender. According to the World Health Organization, an estimated 16% of working-age adults experienced a mental disorder in 2023 (WHO, 2026). But the way men express this strain often does not fit the classic picture of "sad and tearful".

In male employees, psychological strain can appear in the following ways:

• Anger and irritability: Overreacting to small things, a tendency to fight, impatience.
• Burying themselves in work: Staying for overtime, spending time at work to avoid being at home.
• Risk-taking: Disregarding safety rules, driving fast, gambling or risky spending.
• Increased alcohol and substance use: Drinking "to relax" and this becoming more frequent over time.
• Physical complaints: Headaches and stomach aches, back pain, fatigue, sleep problems.
• Withdrawal: Talking less with friends, being alone at breaks, loss of interest.

These signs are often seen as "bad temper", "indiscipline" or "a bad habit". The underlying depression, anxiety or grief then goes unnoticed. I covered the different faces of depression in detail in the article on the symptoms of depression. A caution is needed here: none of these behaviours on its own means a psychological problem; but if it stands out as a change, it is worth talking about.

Why Do Male Employees Avoid Asking for Help?

There are several reasons why men avoid getting support, and they feed one another:

• The belief "I have to be strong": Many men grow up believing they must solve their problems on their own and that asking for help is a weakness. Sayings such as "real men don't cry" and "grit your teeth" reinforce this belief.
• The role of breadwinner: A man who takes sole responsibility for the family's livelihood may see his own struggles as a luxury. The cost of living and the burden of debt increase this pressure.
• Difficulty naming feelings: Some men express what they are going through not as "I feel bad, I'm overwhelmed" but as "I'm in a mood" or "I'm fed up". The harder it is to name a feeling, the harder it is to ask for help.
• Career worries: The fear that if it is known they have had psychological support, their promotion, reputation or job will be at risk.
• Stigma and ridicule: The worry of being talked about in the team as "he's seeing a psychologist" or becoming the subject of jokes.
• The language and format of the service: Services that focus on feelings and involve long, abstract conversations can feel alien to some men. Solution-focused, practical and concrete approaches may be more readily accepted.

In the Turkish context these beliefs are often passed down from generation to generation. For a man who has never seen his father cry and who has learned to solve his problems "without needing anyone", going to a psychologist can feel like a step that contradicts his own values. Worry about "what people will say" in the extended family and the neighbourhood, and in small towns the fact that everyone knows everyone, make this step harder still. Moreover, in periods of economic uncertainty many men do not tell even their wives about their fear of losing their jobs; they see carrying the burden alone as a responsibility. For this reason, men and help-seeking is not only an individual choice but a culturally learned pattern, and the workplace can play an important role in changing it.

In the OSH Pulse survey carried out in Europe, 50% of employees said they thought disclosing a mental health problem would harm their career (EU-OSHA, 2022). This figure applies to all employees; but it may be thought that in environments with high expectations of strength and resilience, this worry is even more decisive for men.

Men often do not ask for help; but when someone asks in the right way, they are ready to talk.

How Does Men's Silence Show Up in Working Life?

Psychological strain that does not receive support shows itself at work in many different ways:

Occupational safety: Distraction, sleeplessness, alcohol use and a tendency to take risks increase the risk of workplace accidents, especially in male-dominated sectors such as factories, construction sites and logistics. According to SGK (Social Security Institution) data, of the 1,931 people who lost their lives in workplace accidents in Turkey in 2025, 1,864 were men (SGK, 2026). This picture is primarily related to men being concentrated in riskier jobs; even so, it shows that the psychological burden of male employees should not be neglected from the point of view of occupational safety.

Burnout: The risk of burnout rises in an employee who buries himself in work, sets no limits and does not ask for help. A systematic review has shown that burnout is linked to serious injuries, absenteeism and presenteeism later on (Salvagioni et al., 2017).

Team climate: A foreman or supervisor who has difficulty controlling his anger can create tension across the whole team. In Turkey, 36% of employees report having experienced intense anger the previous day; this rate is markedly above the global average (22%) (Gallup, 2026).

Sudden losses: An experienced employee who never complains and seems to have "everything under control" suddenly resigning one day or taking long-term sick leave is often the result of a burden that has built up over a long time.

Risk of crisis: Where men are slow to ask for help, the strain can get worse and reach a crisis point. If there is any sign that an employee is having thoughts of harming himself or ending his life, this must be taken seriously, the person must not be left alone, and in an emergency 112 (emergency services) must be called without delay.

Say a driver of twenty years at a logistics company has lately been snapping at his colleagues, talking to nobody at breaks and has had two minor accidents. His supervisor can snap at him, "What's wrong with you?", or can sit down next to him and ask, "You've seemed a bit tired lately, is everything all right?" The second approach may open the door for the employee to explain that his son has been seriously ill and that he has been spending his nights at the hospital for months.

How Can Men's Help-Seeking Behaviour Be Supported?

Making it easier for male employees to get support is possible less by trying to "change" them than by adapting support services to their reality. Approaches that can be effective include:

• Changing the language: Instead of "psychological support" or "therapy", sometimes using concrete and practical headings such as "sleep problems", "anger management", "coping with stress", "gathering strength in a hard period" or "protecting performance".
• Offering solution-focused formats: Short, structured sessions that build skills. Cognitive-behavioural approaches offer a suitable foundation here; in a meta-analysis examining workplace stress management programmes, cognitive-behavioural programmes were found to have a larger effect than other approaches (Richardson and Rothstein, 2008).
• Holding the conversation side by side: Some men open up more easily while doing a task, walking or on a tea break than sitting face to face. Site visits and informal introductory sessions are valuable for this reason.
• Role models: A respected manager, a senior foreman or a union representative talking about getting support in a hard period is one of the most powerful ways of breaking the stigma.
• Guaranteeing confidentiality: Announcing clearly, and repeatedly, that who uses the service will not be shared with management.
• Including the family: Making the support programme accessible to the employee's spouse and children as well can make it easier for some men to take the first step "for my family".

What Employers and Managers Can Do

Concrete steps that can be taken at organisational level are as follows:

1. Train managers and supervisors: The strongest-evidence recommendation in the World Health Organization's guidelines on mental health at work is mental health training for managers (strong recommendation, moderate-certainty evidence) (WHO, 2022). In a randomised controlled study at a male-dominated fire service in Australia, it was reported that after four hours of training for managers, work-related sick leave in teams fell by 18% compared with baseline (Milligan-Saville et al., 2017). This is a study in a single organisation and needs to be replicated; even so, it points to the importance of the manager's attitude in male-dominated teams.
2. Set up monitoring that watches for early signs: A sudden rise in absence, repeated minor accidents, fights within the team and a drop in output should trigger a supportive conversation before a disciplinary process.
3. Don't treat alcohol and substances with punishment alone: Clear rules are necessary for safety; but they should be offered together with support and referral options.
4. Make a support plan for after accidents and losses: After a serious incident, especially in male-dominated teams, a situation of "nobody says anything" is common. It is necessary to approach the team with the principles of psychological first aid and, where needed, refer them to specialist support.
5. Set a limit on stigmatising jokes: State clearly that making fun of employees who get support will not be accepted.
6. Provide access suited to the site: Session times that fit shift hours and an online session option.

A simple conversation framework can also be useful for managers: first share the observation ("you've been quieter in recent weeks"), then ask an open-ended question ("how's it going, is there anything you're finding hard at work or at home?"), then listen without judgement, and finally offer support options as information. This framework allows the manager to make human contact without stepping into the role of therapist, and it leaves the door open even after the "nothing's wrong" answer that male employees often give. Saying "we can talk again later if you like" at the end of the conversation makes a second attempt easier for many people.

I looked at the wider framework of these issues in the factory and construction site context in the article on mental health in blue-collar workers.

How to Get Started in Your Organisation

1. Needs analysis: Start by looking at usage data for existing support services by gender and department, in a form that contains no personal information. If usage is low in departments with many male employees, run anonymous surveys and small focus-group discussions to understand why. Questions such as "Who would you go to in a hard period?" and "If a friend of yours got psychological support, what would be said in the team?" make the barriers visible.

2. Programme: Based on the analysis, the language, format and access routes of the service are redesigned. Manager and supervisor training, anger and stress management workshops, sleep training, role model sharing and regular introductory sessions on site can be part of the programme. Instead of one-off seminars, as suggested by a meta-analysis examining workplace resilience programmes, face-to-face group and one-to-one formats with reinforcement sessions should be preferred (Vanhove et al., 2016). You can look at the organisational service options on the corporate services page.

3. Measurement: The rate of use of support services among male employees, indicators of absence, workplace accidents and near misses, records of conflict within teams and trust scores in repeated surveys can be tracked. A rise in usage is a sign that the programme is gaining trust. The distance between men and help-seeking does not close all at once; first requests usually come under "more acceptable" headings such as sleep, anger or family problems. These requests should not be belittled but seen as the first step in trust. All reporting should be anonymous and aggregated, and no individual's information should be shared with managers.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do male employees really ask for help less?

Clinical experience and research show that men are slower to ask for help with psychological problems and express their strain in different ways. This does not mean men struggle less; it often means the struggle stays invisible.

How do you talk to a male employee about mental health?

Start without making a diagnosis, by mentioning the concrete change you have observed: "You've seemed a bit tired in recent weeks, how are you?" Listen without pressure, don't impose solutions, and share where he can get support as information. It is important that the conversation takes place in private and in a suitable setting.

Is a separate support programme needed for men?

A separate programme is generally not needed; adapting the language, format and access routes of the existing service to the needs of male employees may be enough. Role models, practical headings and strong guarantees of confidentiality are the key elements of this adaptation.

What should be done if an employee talks about harming himself?

This must be taken seriously, the person must not be left alone, and he should be listened to in a calm voice. If there is an immediate risk, 112 (emergency services) must be called without delay. The organisation should have an emergency procedure prepared in advance for such situations and managers should know it.

• #men and help-seeking
• #men's mental health
• #stigma
• #employee assistance programme

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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