If you feel like crying all the time, sometimes without even knowing why, you are not alone. Read about the possible causes of crying spells and ways to cope.
You are sitting by the window on the evening shuttle bus home from work. The day was not actually bad; you did not argue with anyone, you did not receive any big news. But a song is playing in your earphones and suddenly your eyes fill up. You turn your face to the window so the person next to you will not notice. When you get home, it happens again while you are emptying the dishwasher. In recent weeks this has become more frequent: an advert, a question from your mother, a long queue at the supermarket... It is as if the tears are always there, waiting for an excuse. Wanting to cry all the time is something many people experience with embarrassment and cannot tell anyone about. In this article we will talk about what tears may be expressing, when they should be taken seriously as a sign, and how you can keep yourself company through this period.
Crying All the Time: What Language Do Tears Speak?
Crying is one of the oldest forms of human expression. A baby cries to signal a need; an adult cries to release a burden they cannot carry. Emotional tears can be thought of as part of the body's stress system: after crying, many people describe their heart rate slowing, their breathing deepening, and a sort of tired but lightened state.
Crying also has a relational function. Tears send the message "I'm struggling, come to me" to those around us. This is why crying alone and crying beside a friend often do not bring the same relief; being understood is half of what tears are for.
So crying itself is not a problem. What may be a problem is the frequency of crying, its cause and the mark it leaves. If you feel lighter after crying, your tears are doing their job. If you feel emptier, more helpless and more exhausted after crying, there is something behind the tears that needs looking at.
When Does Crying All the Time Occur?
Frequent crying spells are not a diagnosis in themselves; they can arise in very different situations.
Depressive Episodes
One of the most common complaints in depression is crying easily and often. The person feels sad, fragile and "ready to burst into tears at the slightest touch". Crying is often accompanied by hopelessness, self-blame, an inability to enjoy things, and changes in sleep and appetite. Interestingly, during the severe phases of depression some people also say they cannot cry; it is as if their emotions have frozen.
Grief and Loss
Losing a loved one, the end of a relationship, leaving a home or a city... It is to be expected that tears come in waves after a loss. In the grieving process, crying becomes less frequent over time, but it can intensify again with reminders such as religious holidays, anniversaries or a dish the person who died used to love.
Accumulated Stress and Burnout
Sometimes there is no single big event; there are hundreds of small burdens. Think of a working mother: getting the child to school on time in the morning, pressure to hit targets at work, cooking in the evening, checking homework, a phone call from her mother-in-law, washing-up that lasts until midnight. In such a period, tears are like an alarm showing that the system has reached overflowing point.
Anxiety
People who experience intense anxiety may cry, especially at moments when the anxiety peaks or in the release that follows. Here crying is less about sadness and more about the discharge of tension.
Hormonal and Physical Factors
The premenstrual phase, the weeks after giving birth, the transition into menopause, thyroid problems and some chronic illnesses can markedly increase emotional sensitivity. We have discussed mood fluctuations related to the menstrual cycle in detail in our article on PMS and PMDD. If the crying spells have started recently and you cannot explain them, a medical check-up is also worthwhile.
Is Crying for No Reason Really Without a Reason?
We often hear the sentence "Nothing happened, but I'm crying." Most of the time there is a reason for the tears; it is just not visible at that moment.
Imagine you have swallowed something for months: you could not speak up about an injustice, you had no time to feel sad for a friend who was made redundant, you brushed off an illness in your family by telling everyone "we're fine". The mind puts these feelings in a corner, but it does not delete them. Then one day the song on the bus lifts the lid on that corner. What you are crying about is not the song; the song has only opened the door.
That is why, during crying spells that seem to have "no reason", it helps to ask yourself the following questions:
- In the last few months, is there a loss, disappointment or injustice that I lived through without dwelling on it?
- Is there something I am holding inside that I have not been able to tell anyone?
- At what time of day, and in what setting, do the tears usually come?
- What sentences go through my mind while I am crying?
The answers to these questions do not always come straight away. But asking them is the beginning of seeing tears not as a malfunction but as a message.
The Difference Between Emotional Sensitivity and a Crying Spell
Some people are more emotional by temperament. Their eyes fill up at the end of a film, at a wedding or at a child's school performance; it has been like this for years and it does not bother them. This is sensitivity, not a problem. What needs attention is change: someone who used to rarely cry starting to cry at everything in recent weeks, or the tears of someone who is already emotional becoming uncontrollable, exhausting and embarrassing. Comparing yourself with how you used to be gives far more meaningful information than comparing yourself with others.
Crying Spells in Everyday Life
For someone who feels like crying all the time, everyday life can turn into an effort to hide. Rushing to the toilets after a meeting, wearing sunglasses even on cloudy days, cutting phone calls short so that your voice does not tremble... This effort is exhausting in itself.
It is also worth remembering that attitudes towards crying in Turkey vary by gender. From childhood, men grow up with the phrase "a real man doesn't cry". So when tears come, many men turn them into anger, silence or overworking; their distress remains invisible. Women, on the other hand, often face the opposite judgement: "You cry at everything", "You're far too touchy". Both attitudes silence the person instead of taking the emotion seriously.
In recent years we also need to take collective burdens into account. After the 6 February 2023 earthquakes, many people cried in front of their screens for weeks, even if they had not been directly affected themselves. Economic uncertainty, a news agenda constantly filled with bad news and insecurity about the future can lower the threshold for tears across society. In such periods, rather than blaming yourself with "Why am I so sensitive?", it is also important to remember that the burden you are carrying does not belong to you alone.
Then there is parental anxiety: "What will happen if my child sees me crying?" Children seeing their parents sad from time to time is not harmful in itself; what matters is that the child is given a calm explanation suited to their age and that the burden is not left on the child's shoulders.
What Can You Do to Cope with Crying Spells?
The aim is not to stop the tears completely, but to be able to live with them with less fear and more understanding.
Make Room for Crying
Constantly suppressing tears can cause them to overflow at the most inconvenient moment. Give yourself a safe time during the day: fifteen minutes in the evening, door closed, phone on silent. If they come, let them come. Many people notice that once they have times when they allow themselves to cry, the sudden overflows during the day decrease.
Note Down the Triggers
For one week, briefly write down the moments when you cried: the time, the place, what happened beforehand, what you felt. A pattern may emerge. Perhaps it is always in the evening when you are tired, perhaps when a particular subject comes up with your partner, perhaps after looking at certain content on social media.
Give the Feeling a Name
Instead of saying "I'm crying", try saying "I'm hurt", "I feel helpless", "I miss someone", "I'm angry". Research shows that naming an emotion can reduce its intensity somewhat. Beneath tears there are often emotions other than sadness; suppressed anger in particular is one of the overlooked sources of frequent crying.
Calm the Body
In the middle of a crying spell, breathing out slowly (an out-breath longer than the in-breath), washing your face with cold water or feeling your feet on the ground helps the body come out of alarm mode. These do not eliminate the emotion, but they make it easier to come down from the crest of the wave.
Do Not Neglect Basic Needs
A body that is sleep-deprived, hungry or has not left the house for days experiences emotions much more intensely. Regular sleep, not skipping meals and short walks in daylight can noticeably change the threshold for tears.
Limit News and Screen Consumption
Spending hours before bed looking at painful news, dramatic videos or the seemingly flawless lives of others further tires an already sensitive emotional system. Putting a limit on this consumption, especially in the evening hours, also affects your mood the following morning.
What Do You Tell Yourself After Crying?
It is not so much the tears themselves that wear you down as the inner talk that follows: "Not again", "How weak I am", "Nobody must see me like this." These sentences add a second burden. After crying, try telling yourself, "I'm carrying something hard, and these tears are part of it." This small change makes room for understanding instead of shame.
Tell Someone
If nobody knows you are crying, the whole burden stays with you. Saying to someone you trust, "I've been crying a lot lately and I don't really know why", breaks the loneliness.
Tears are not a sign of weakness; they are a sign that something inside is waiting to be understood.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
If one or more of the following applies to you, talking to a mental health professional will be helpful:
- If the urge to cry all the time has continued for more than two weeks
- If crying stops you from taking part in your work, your studies or your social life
- If you feel more helpless rather than relieved after crying
- If crying is accompanied by hopelessness, worthlessness, or changes in sleep and appetite
- If this state has intensified in the weeks after giving birth
- If, despite a long time having passed since a loss, the grief has not eased at all
Let us say that for three weeks you have cried in the car every morning on your way to work, you cannot concentrate in meetings and you do not want to talk to anyone in the evenings. It improves a little at the weekend but starts again on Monday. This is not something to brush off with "I'm just a bit tired"; it is exactly the right time to see a professional and understand together what is going on.
If your tears are accompanied by thoughts that life is meaningless or that you no longer want to exist, do not try to carry this without sharing it with anyone. In an emergency where thoughts of harming yourself become intense, call 112 (emergency services) or go to the nearest emergency department.
Where necessary, a medical assessment to rule out physical causes and the opinion of a psychiatrist can also be part of the process.
How Are Crying Spells Addressed in Therapy?
Crying in the therapy room is very common; in fact, many people say it is the first place where they have been able to cry without shame. The therapist does not try to stop the tears; they stay with them and are curious about what they are saying. We have discussed common worries about crying in therapy in our article on crying in therapy.
Part of the work is aimed at understanding: what loss, what suppressed emotion, what ongoing burden lies behind the tears? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) helps you notice and test the thoughts that accompany crying spells ("Nothing will ever get better", "I'm so weak"). With people who have learned to constantly suppress their emotions, the work focuses on recognising and expressing feelings safely.
The other part is aimed at building skills: emotion regulation techniques, setting boundaries, being able to share the load, voicing your needs. If the picture is linked to a depressive episode, the treatment plan is shaped accordingly and, when necessary, there is collaboration with a psychiatrist.
For some clients, an important part of the work concerns rules learned in childhood. Someone who grew up with phrases such as "Hush, or I'll give you something to cry about", "Big girls don't cry" or "Don't be a burden to your mother" both suppresses their tears in adulthood and punishes themselves when they cannot suppress them. Seeing where these rules came from helps the person develop a more compassionate attitude towards their own emotions.
In individual therapy with adults, the goal is not to get rid of tears, but for them to become measured, understandable and comforting again.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is crying for no reason a symptom of depression?
It may be, but on its own it is not enough. Frequent and unexplained crying may also be linked to tiredness, accumulated stress, hormonal changes or an unprocessed loss. If crying is accompanied by a loss of enjoyment, hopelessness and changes in sleep, and has lasted more than two weeks, it should be assessed.
Is it harmful to hold back tears?
Holding back tears occasionally, in an unsuitable setting, is natural. However, constantly suppressing emotions can lead to them coming out by other routes: sudden overflows, outbursts of anger, physical tension or sleep problems.
Is frequent crying assessed differently in men?
The symptoms are assessed with the same seriousness. However, because of social pressure, men hide their tears more and their distress is noticed later. A man saying that he has been crying often recently is frequently a sign of a burden he has been carrying for a long time, and it should be taken seriously.
Crying doesn't make me feel any better at all; what does that mean?
If deeper despondency follows crying instead of relief, this may show that the emotional load has become too heavy to lift alone. It is an important sign that the time has come to seek support.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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