Fear of the Dark in Adults: Is It Normal to Sleep With the Light On?

Do you sleep with the light on because of a fear of the dark, even as an adult? Read about its causes, its effect on sleep and how to make peace with darkness.

You are thirty-five, you live in your own home and you make difficult decisions at work; yet if the hallway light is off at night, you cannot go to the bathroom. Before going to bed you close the cupboard doors, check the gap between the curtains and keep your phone torch ready beside the pillow. The small lamp on the bedside table stays on until morning. When your partner or flatmate switches off the light your heart races, and you are too embarrassed to say anything. When you need to stay with friends at a house in the highlands, you start thinking days in advance: "What will I do if there's a power cut?" A fear of the dark is usually seen as something belonging to childhood; that is why, when it continues into adulthood, it brings a heavy sense of shame with it. In this article we explain how common this fear is in adults, why it persists, how it affects your sleep and how you can make peace with darkness step by step.

What Is a Fear of the Dark in Adults?

Feeling uneasy in the dark was a meaningful response throughout the long history of the human species. Our sense of sight weakens in the dark; noticing danger and escaping from it become harder. So feeling a little tense at night on a deserted, dark street or in an unfamiliar place is entirely natural.

Being afraid of the dark in childhood is a normal part of development and fades over time in most children. In some adults, however, this fear persists or reappears in adulthood. If the fear is intense, makes it hard for the person to be in the dark even in their own safe home, and affects their sleep, relationships or daily life, it may be considered a specific phobia. In the medical literature this picture is also called nyctophobia.

One important point is this: in adults this fear is often not about the darkness itself but about what might be in the dark. Someone breaking into the house, a movement in the shadows, an unexplained noise, losing control or being left alone with dark thoughts. Darkness acts as the curtain behind which these fears are staged.

Signs of a Fear of the Dark

In adults this fear appears together with the coping strategies the person has developed. Several of the following may sound familiar:

• Being unable to fall asleep without a light, the television or a phone screen on
• Switching on all the lights when going to the toilet at night, or holding it until morning
• Inviting a friend or relative over on nights when you will be home alone, or staying somewhere else if possible
• Checking the door, windows, cupboards and under the bed before going to sleep
• Feeling intense panic during power cuts
• Palpitations, shortness of breath, a shiver down the back of the neck and ears straining "to hear every sound" when entering a dark room
• Being on excessive alert to night-time noises, tapping sounds in the building, the howling of the wind
• Being unable to sleep comfortably for days after horror films or thriller series

These signs appear only at night, and during the day the person is largely at ease. This distinction suggests a picture different from generalised anxiety or general sleep problems.

Is It Normal to Sleep With the Light On?

This is the question our readers ask most. The short answer is: sleeping with the light on is not a sign of illness. Many people sleep more comfortably with a small night light. A hallway light left on can be a calm habit that prepares you for sleep.

What matters is not the light itself but whether it has become a necessity. If you panic when the light goes off, if you cannot sleep at all without a light, and if this restricts your life, then the light has stopped being a preference and has turned into a safety behaviour that keeps the fear going.

There is also a point to consider in terms of sleep: bright light in the bedroom, especially bluish white light, can disrupt the body's night-time rhythm and reduce the depth of sleep. Some people who sleep with bright light for long periods notice that they do not feel well rested in the morning. If you generally have difficulty falling asleep, our article on how to overcome insomnia may also offer guidance.

A night light can be a preference; but if you panic when it goes out, the light is no longer protecting you but the fear.

Why Does a Fear of the Dark Persist or Begin in Adulthood?

There are several possible reasons why this fear continues or reappears in adulthood:

• Fear carried over from childhood: The fear of the dark in childhood may never have been addressed, but simply sidestepped by always sleeping with the light on or in a parent's bed. Avoidance makes it easier for the fear to be carried into adulthood.
• A traumatic event at night: A burglary, an attack at night, a loved one suddenly falling ill or dying during the night.
• The experience of an earthquake: The 6 February 2023 earthquakes struck at night, in the dark, at a moment when the electricity was cut. In many people who lived through this experience directly or through loved ones, darkness, shaking and helplessness became linked. For these people, sleeping in the dark can trigger the fear that "If it happens again, I won't be able to see, I won't be able to get out."
• Life changes: Living alone for the first time, being home alone after a break-up or divorce, moving to a new city or a quieter neighbourhood.
• Experiences of sleep paralysis: Experiences such as being unable to move while falling asleep or waking up, and sensing a presence in the room, can make darkness feel threatening. You can find detailed information about these experiences in our article on sleep paralysis.
• A general tendency towards anxiety: Thoughts that are kept under control during the day grow stronger at night as distractions fall away. Darkness becomes the moment when the mind is left alone with its worries.

Effects on Daily Life: Shame, Sleep and Relationships

Perhaps the most exhausting part of this fear is shame. For many people, saying as an adult that they are afraid of the dark feels childish. So the fear is hidden and excuses are made: "I like reading at night", "The dark gives me a headache", "My sleep pattern is off." Hiding it, however, adds to the burden.

The fear also shows itself in relationships. If one partner can sleep only in complete darkness and the other only with a light on, this can turn into a small but constant source of tension. The nights when a partner is away on a business trip may pass without sleep for the fearful person. Some people prefer to stay at their parents' home when their partner is away and find it hard to explain why.

Small but constant restrictions also appear in social life. A camping or highland holiday with a group of friends, a hotel room on a work trip, staying overnight at relatives' homes in your hometown during bayram (religious holidays), even the lights being switched off on a long coach journey, are each like a test that the fearful person must plan for in advance. For this reason some people turn down invitations and may gradually become isolated.

Over time, broken sleep caused by anxiety can lead to daytime tiredness, poor concentration and irritability. Waking up several times a night to "check" lowers the quality of sleep.

Making Peace With Darkness Step by Step: Practical Suggestions

The steps below offer a road map you can begin on your own for mild to moderate fear. Do not rush; spending a few nights on each step is normal.

Reduce the light gradually, not all at once

If you sleep with the ceiling light on, first switch to a desk lamp. Then to a smaller night light, then to a dimmer light with a yellow or orange tone. In the next step, move the lamp out of the bedroom into the hallway and leave the door ajar. Close the door a little more step by step. Stay a few nights with each change and move on when you notice your anxiety easing.

Get to know the dark during the day

Encountering darkness only when trying to fall asleep makes sleep itself anxiety-provoking. Instead, during the day or early in the evening, independently of bedtime, sit for a few minutes in a darkened room. Watch your eyes adjust to the dark and the outlines of objects become clearer. Gradually extend the time.

Make friends with the sounds

Many people with a fear of the dark are highly sensitive to night-time sounds. Try to get to know the "night sounds" of your home: the fridge motor, the ticking of the radiators, the footsteps of the upstairs neighbour, the building's front door closing. When you hear a sound, instead of building a danger scenario in your mind, label it: "That's the fridge."

Cut down checking rituals

If you check the door four times before going to bed, bring it down to once. If you have a habit of looking under the bed or in the cupboards, skip it for one night first. Checking brings relief in the moment, but it sends your mind the message: "There really is danger; if I don't look, something will happen to me."

Calm the time before night

In the hour before bed, avoid watching horror, thriller or crime series and reading violent news. A warm shower, a light book or slow breathing exercises prepare the mind for the night.

Find a middle ground with your partner

If your partner wants complete darkness, in the short term you can find a temporary solution such as a light eye mask on their side and a dim light on yours. But see this solution as a step in your gradual work rather than a permanent arrangement. Your partner's support means respecting your pace and noticing your progress.

Let us imagine someone who has finished university and moved into a studio flat on their own for the first time, and who sleeps with the television on all night during the first months. They wake up tired in the mornings and cannot tell anyone about it. One evening they make themselves a small plan: first a small yellow-light lamp instead of the television, after two weeks moving the lamp into the hallway, after a month leaving the door half open. Some nights they slip back into the old habit; but two months later they can sleep through until morning with the hallway light on and the door ajar. This does not mean the fear has completely gone; but now they, not the fear, are in charge of their sleep.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

You might consider seeing a professional in the following situations:

• Because of a fear of the dark you regularly go without sleep and your daytime functioning is affected.
• Being unable to spend a night at home alone restricts your life.
• You have panic attacks during power cuts or in a dark environment.
• The fear began after a traumatic event such as a burglary, an attack or an earthquake, and is accompanied by symptoms such as nightmares, startling easily or being constantly on edge.
• You have not been able to make progress with the steps you have tried on your own.

If insomnia has been going on for a long time and is noticeably affecting your mood, an assessment by a psychiatrist may also be part of the process.

How Is a Fear of the Dark Addressed in Therapy?

This fear can generally be addressed well with cognitive behavioural therapy. The path followed in therapy is shaped by the person's history and may include the following elements:

• Clarifying the content of the fear: What is really feared in the dark? Someone breaking in, an invisible presence, an earthquake, loneliness? As the content of the fear becomes clearer, the work also becomes more focused.
• Psychoeducation: Why anxiety increases at night and how the body's state of alertness in the dark works are explained.
• Gradual exposure: A step plan based on light and time, prepared together with the person, is put into practice.
• Dropping safety behaviours: Behaviours such as checking rituals, keeping a torch at hand and sleeping with the light on are reduced step by step.
• Working with trauma: If there is a traumatic event beneath the fear, processing this memory becomes an important part of the work.
• Sleep routine: Work on sleep hygiene and the night-time routine is added.

This work is carried out within individual therapy, at a pace that suits the person. Whatever your age, it is possible to rebuild your relationship with darkness.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it a problem that I'm afraid of the dark even though I'm an adult?

Feeling a little uneasy in the dark is common in many adults and is not a problem in itself. Seeking support becomes meaningful when the fear is intense, constant and restricting your life. It is nothing to be ashamed of; this fear is much more common than people think.

Do I need to stop using a night light completely?

No. The goal is not to ban light but for it to stop being a necessity. If you can sleep comfortably with a dim night light and do not panic when the light goes out, this may simply be your personal preference.

I can't sleep in the dark since the earthquake. Will this pass?

Having difficulty sleeping in the dark after a disaster that struck at night, such as an earthquake, is a common reaction and fades over time in many people. If the symptoms continue or intensify even after months have passed, a trauma-focused assessment is helpful.

Do horror films make a fear of the dark worse?

Horror and thriller content, especially when watched at night, can leave the mind with new images that come to life in the dark. If you enjoy this kind of content, watching it during the day or early in the evening and leaving a calm activity in between before bed can help. If you cannot sleep for days after a film, that is a good sign to notice how sensitive a spot this fear touches and to consider working on it.

• #nyctophobia
• #night-time fear
• #sleeping with the light on
• #sleep anxiety
• #adult fears

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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