What does going through an emotional crisis mean, and how is it different from depression? Learn the signs, the causes and first steps to get through it.
"I'm in a bunalım." In Turkish, this word, roughly meaning a state of being overwhelmed to the point of suffocation, is something you may have texted to a friend, said half-jokingly and half-seriously over dinner, or typed into a search engine in the middle of the night. It describes a very wide range of experiences: from a few days of feeling trapped, to a crisis period in which everything piles up at once, to a severe low that has lasted for months. Going through an emotional crisis (in Turkish, "bunalıma girmek") is the everyday way of saying "I can't carry this any more." But the things described with the same word can be very different from one another, and understanding which one you are experiencing is the first step towards knowing what you need. In this article we will look at what such a crisis is, how it differs from depression, which signs you should pay attention to, and the concrete steps you can take to get through this period.
What Does Going Through an Emotional Crisis Mean?
"Bunalım" is not a medical diagnosis. There is no disorder by that name in psychiatric classification systems. In everyday language it describes a state of mind in which a person is under a load that exceeds their capacity to cope, feels cornered and cannot see a way out. The verb at the root of the word, "bunalmak", reflects this well: like being unable to breathe in an airless room, it means suffocating in a situation you cannot get out of.
When people say "I've gone into a bunalım", they usually mean one of the following:
- Short-term overload: A sense of being trapped, tension and lack of drive lasting a few days or weeks in the face of problems that pile up one after another
- A crisis period: Losing balance after a sudden loss, separation, redundancy or health problem
- Depression: A low that has lasted for weeks, affects life as a whole, and disrupts sleep, appetite and energy
The boundaries between these three are not always clear. A short-term emotional crisis can turn into depression if it is not addressed and conditions become more difficult. That is why, rather than waiting and saying "It'll pass", it is important to look carefully at where what you are experiencing stands.
A crisis like this is an alarm telling you that the load you are carrying has exceeded your capacity; it is a sign not of your weakness, but that something needs to change.
Crisis or Depression? How Can I Tell the Difference?
This is the real question on the minds of many people who search for "I'm in a bunalım". A definite distinction can only be made through a professional assessment; but the following criteria can give you an idea.
Situations that may point more towards a crisis period:
- The distress is clearly connected to a particular event or situation
- When the problem is talked about or eases, mood also improves noticeably
- You can still enjoy some things and relax when spending time with the people you love
- The distress fluctuates and decreases within a few days or a few weeks
Situations that may point more towards depression:
- Low mood has continued for more than two weeks, for most of the day and nearly every day
- Interest in and enjoyment of beloved things has disappeared
- Sleep, appetite and energy have changed markedly
- Feelings of worthlessness, excessive guilt and hopelessness dominate
- Mood does not improve even when the problem goes away
- Work, school or household responsibilities are noticeably slipping
The article on signs of depression, in which I discuss the symptoms of depression in more detail, can help you make this distinction.
What Causes an Emotional Crisis?
A crisis of this kind usually comes not from a single event but from accumulation. A person can endure a certain load; once that load is exceeded, even a small additional problem can be the drop that makes the cup overflow.
Common triggers include:
- Life events piling up: Difficulties such as a loved one's illness, job loss and moving house coinciding in the same period
- Financial squeeze: Debts, rent increases, the struggle to make ends meet and uncertainty about the future
- Relationship problems: Long-running conflicts, separation, infidelity or tensions within the family
- Losses: The death of a loved one, the loss of a dream, deteriorating health
- Exam and career pressure: Not getting the expected result, not finding a job, feeling stuck in place
- Decision gridlock: Standing at an important crossroads in life and being unable to choose any option
- Loneliness: Having no one to share problems with
Let us imagine a forty-five-year-old shopkeeper with a small shop. The rent on the shop has doubled in a year, and his debts to suppliers have piled up. His son is doing his military service, and his mother is in hospital. Every morning he opens the shop and smiles at customers; but when he gets home in the evening he does not want to talk to anyone. At night he lies awake until morning staring at the ceiling. One day he simply says to his wife, "I'm overwhelmed, I can't take any more." Behind that sentence lies not a single problem but a heap that has been carried in silence for months.
Personal factors matter too. People who find it hard to ask for help, who believe they must solve everything on their own, and who have not grown used to talking about their feelings build up the load for longer, and the crisis can be experienced more severely.
Signs of an Emotional Crisis: What Should You Watch For in Yourself?
A crisis period does not look the same in everyone. However, common signs include:
- A constant feeling of being trapped, closed in and "unable to breathe"
- Getting irritated quickly, impatience, overreacting to small things
- Crying spells or, conversely, being unable to feel anything
- Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
- Loss of appetite or uncontrolled eating
- Inability to focus, forgetfulness, indecision
- Withdrawing from people, not answering the phone
- Physical complaints such as headaches, stomach problems or pressure in the chest
- A tendency to escape through alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or excessive screen use
- The thought "I want to drop everything and leave"
Some of these signs can also be seen during short periods of overload. What is decisive is how long they last, how intense they are and how much they affect your life.
What Should You Do to Get Out of a Crisis?
The most common mistake during a crisis is trying to solve everything at the same time. Yet what is needed in this period is first to breathe, and then to move forward step by step.
Stop and take stock of the load
Write down on a piece of paper all the problems going round in your mind. Then, next to each one, answer this question: "Is there anything I can do about this right now?" Dividing the problems into "those I have some influence over" and "those that are out of my hands for now" turns the chaos in your mind into a concrete list. It often turns out that part of the load does not require any action that week.
Choose a single step
Choose one of the problems you have influence over and identify the smallest step that could be taken for it. For a debt problem, "calling the bank to ask about restructuring options"; for a relationship problem, "having a calm ten-minute conversation this evening". Taking one step is one of the most effective ways of breaking the feeling of helplessness.
Postpone big decisions
During a crisis, if possible, postpone steps that are hard to reverse, such as resigning, divorcing, moving to another city or making a big financial decision. Decisions made in the grip of intense emotion can lead to regret later. You can tell yourself, "I'll think about this again in two weeks with a calmer mind."
Don't neglect your body
Sleep, regular meals and movement are the first things to slip during a crisis, yet they are what you need most. A short daily walk, regular meals and sleep times that are as fixed as possible increase the mind's capacity to carry the load.
Watch out for escape routes
Alcohol, gambling, betting, excessive shopping or spending hours in front of a screen may feel relieving in the short term. But these escape routes usually create new problems and deepen the crisis. In particular, someone struggling with debt turning to betting with the thought "If I win just once, everything will be fine" can quickly multiply the existing burden. When you catch yourself heading down these routes, stopping to ask "Why am I trying to escape right now?" is the first step towards awareness.
Tell someone
A crisis grows most in loneliness. Saying to someone you trust, "I've been really struggling lately", is the first step in sharing part of the load. Many people, especially men, stay silent with the thought "I don't want to be a burden to anyone." Yet the people close to you have often already noticed that something is not right and are waiting for you to tell them.
How Does a Crisis Period Affect the Family?
When a family member is on the verge of an emotional crisis, everyone at home is affected. The person in crisis often withdraws, becomes impatient and cannot show the same interest as before. A spouse may interpret this as coldness or a lack of love; children sense the tension at home without understanding what has changed, and sometimes blame themselves. As the silence drags on, everyone retreats into their own corner.
There are a few things the family can do during this period. First of all, it is important not to take the person's withdrawal as a personal rejection. Instead of insisting "Why won't you tell me?", saying "I can see you're going through a hard time; I'm here when you're ready" keeps the door open. Taking on small burdens in everyday tasks, for example taking over the bills or keeping track of the children's school for a few days, opens up space for the person to breathe.
Children need a simple explanation appropriate to their age: "Dad is very tired and upset these days. It's not because of you; we're supporting him together." An explanation like this stops the child from filling in the gaps with their imagination in frightening ways.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
I recommend seeing a professional in the following situations:
- If the state of crisis has lasted more than two weeks and is not easing
- If you cannot carry out your work, family or daily responsibilities
- If your sleep and appetite are seriously disrupted
- If you are turning more and more to alcohol or other escape routes
- If what you have been through is traumatic for you
- If thoughts such as "I want to end it all" or "Things would be better without me" are crossing your mind
The last point is especially important. If you are thinking about ending your life, have made a plan, or do not feel safe, please call 112 (emergency services) immediately or go to the nearest emergency department. These thoughts are a sign of intense pain and require urgent support. If you see these signs in someone close to you, do not leave them alone, and accompany them in getting help.
Sometimes people are unsure whether to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. The article on the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist can guide you on this. If the symptoms are severe, an assessment by a psychiatrist is an important part of the process.
How Are Crisis Periods Addressed in Therapy?
In the first sessions with someone in a crisis period, the priority is to assess the person's safety and basic needs. Then the load the person is experiencing is mapped out together: What problems are there, which are urgent, which can the person influence, and what sources of support are available?
In cognitive behavioural therapy, one of the methods frequently used during crisis periods is problem-solving work. The problem is defined, possible solutions are listed without judgement, the pros and cons of each are weighed up, a solution is chosen and broken into small steps, and the results are reviewed together. This structured approach brings order to the chaos in the mind and gives the person a renewed sense of control.
At the same time, the thoughts that feed the crisis are addressed: "There's no way out", "Everything happens to me", "I'll never get through this." How far these thoughts match reality is tested, and more balanced perspectives are developed. If the picture points to depression, a more comprehensive therapy plan for depression is drawn up.
Although crisis periods are hard, they can also offer an opportunity for a person to see what needs to change in their life. A decision that has long been put off, to set a boundary, to ask for help or to change the way they live, can come to maturity during this period.
You can find information about working with depressive symptoms and difficult periods on the depression and mood page.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does an emotional crisis last?
This varies according to the conditions that led to the crisis and the person's sources of support. A short-term crisis tied to a particular event can pass within a few days or a few weeks as conditions ease. A picture that lasts more than two weeks and does not ease, however, deserves a professional assessment.
Should I keep going to work or school while I'm in crisis?
Where possible, keeping your daily structure usually helps during a crisis, because routine and human contact give the mind something to hold on to. However, if your functioning is seriously impaired, it may be necessary to talk to a doctor or professional to assess whether you need a short period of rest.
Is an emotional crisis experienced differently at different ages?
The way a crisis shows itself can change with age. In adolescents, anger, disengaging from school and shutting themselves in their room may come to the fore; in middle age, the weight of responsibilities and questions about meaning; in later life, loneliness, health worries and losses. What is common at every age is being under a load that exceeds a person's capacity to cope, and at every age it is possible to get support.
How can I help a friend who is in crisis?
Listening rather than giving advice is often the most valuable help. Saying "I'm here for you; we can talk whenever you want" and offering concrete help works. If they talk about ending their life, take it seriously, do not leave them alone, and do not hesitate to call 112.
Bu yazı genel bilgilendirme amaçlıdır; tanı veya tedavi yerine geçmez. Yaşadığınız güçlükler için bir ruh sağlığı uzmanına başvurmanız önerilir. Acil bir durumda lütfen 112'yi arayın.
Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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