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Feeling Mentally Unwell: Understanding the Feeling and Steps Towards Recovery

Feeling Mentally Unwell: Understanding the Feeling and Steps Towards Recovery

Feeling mentally unwell but unable to name why? Read about the possible sources of this feeling, the warning signs and practical steps to get back on track.

You are pouring tea in the office kitchen when a colleague asks, "How are you?" and the only sentence that comes out is: "I don't know, I've just been feeling mentally unwell lately." They nod, and you change the subject. Yet that sentence covers something up more than it explains it. In Turkish, saying "psikolojim bozuk" (literally, "my psychology is off") is an accepted but rather vague way of saying we are not doing well. It puts anxiety, exhaustion, hurt and the first signs of depression all into the same bag. In this article I want to open that bag with you, name what is inside it one item at a time, and talk about where you might begin to recover.

What Does "Feeling Mentally Unwell" Actually Mean?

This expression is not a diagnosis; it is a complaint. The person notices that they do not feel "like their old self", that something has shifted, but they cannot quite say what. In conversations in the therapy room that begin with this sentence, one of the following pictures usually becomes clearer after a little talking:

  • Accumulated stress: Many burdens that each look manageable on their own landing on your shoulders at the same time.
  • Anxiety: Being constantly on alert, a tightness inside, a mind that will not stop.
  • Low mood: Sadness, lack of motivation, being unable to enjoy things, fatigue.
  • Hurt or anger: A reaction that cannot be voiced and turns inwards.
  • Grief: Pain after a loss that the person has not yet been able to place.

Often these overlap. Someone who says they feel mentally unwell may be anxious, exhausted and hurt by someone all at once. So the first task is to break the feeling down into its parts rather than dismiss it with a single phrase.

What Might Lie Behind Feeling Mentally Unwell?

Looking for a single cause is often misleading. Mood is like a bucket filling drop by drop: the last drop that makes it overflow is the one you see, but it was the earlier ones that filled the bucket.

The build-up of invisible burdens

Let us imagine a woman in her mid-thirties living in Ankara. Her landlord has raised the rent yet again, her mother's test results back in her home town have come back worse than expected, and a new manager has arrived at work. None of these is, on its own, an event that would "break" someone. But after carrying all of them together for three months, opening her eyes in the morning has become harder, and in the evenings she has started staring at her phone without noticing the hours pass. When asked, the only answer she can give is: "Nothing's really wrong, I'm just feeling mentally unwell."

In recent years, the high cost of living, job insecurity and an ever-changing news agenda have become silent burdens that many people in Turkey carry in the background. Because these do not look like "events", the person asks themselves, "Why am I feeling so bad?", and when they cannot find an answer, they blame themselves even more.

The body and sleep

The mind and the body do not live in separate rooms. Someone who has been sleeping irregularly for weeks, skipping meals and not seeing daylight can also feel low in mood. Some physical conditions (for example, problems related to hormone or vitamin levels) can also affect mood. That is why, when a low period goes on for a long time, having a basic check-up with your GP does not replace psychological work, but it does complement it.

Postponed emotions

Sometimes today's bad feeling is the delayed echo of something that happened months ago and was shelved with the thought "now is not the time". A break-up, a hospital stay, a house move or news from an earthquake zone may have been pushed down at the time so that you could keep functioning. When life calms down a little, those suppressed emotions look for space.

Recognising the Signs: Questions You Can Ask Yourself

The way to clarify a vague feeling is to look at it through four different windows. You can divide a sheet of paper into four and write the answers to these questions in each section:

  1. Emotion: What did I feel most today? Sadness, tension, anger, shame, emptiness?
  2. Thought: Which sentence went through my mind most often? Something like "I can't keep up", "No one understands" or "It will always be like this".
  3. Body: What am I feeling, and where? Pressure in the chest, a knot in the stomach, heaviness in the shoulders, constant fatigue?
  4. Behaviour: What have I stopped doing, and what have I been doing more of? Have I been seeing friends less? Has my screen time or eating increased?

This small exercise turns the sentence "I'm feeling mentally unwell" into a more useful one: "For the past two weeks I've been tense, I keep doing money calculations in my head, my shoulders are stiff and I'm avoiding people." This second sentence shows what there is to work on.

Naming an emotion does not resolve it; but it does show you where to take hold of it.

Expanding your emotional vocabulary

Many adults use only a handful of words to describe their emotions: good, bad, irritated, stressed. Yet underneath the word "bad" lie very different experiences, such as hurt, lonely, helpless, embarrassed, disappointed or overwhelmed. Each one points to a different need. Hurt needs conversation, tiredness needs rest, loneliness needs contact. That is why asking yourself "Exactly what kind of bad?" instead of simply "I feel bad" matters.

A Normal Dip or Something More?

Everyone has bad days. A drop in mood after an argument, at the end of a busy week or following a disappointment is an expected reaction. Three criteria can guide you in telling these feelings apart:

  • Duration: A low mood that lasts a few days and eases by itself is not the same as a heaviness that lasts longer than two weeks and is present nearly every day.
  • Intensity: There is a difference between a feeling that visits you from time to time and one that weighs on you all day long.
  • Functioning: Can you carry on with your work, your studies, your responsibilities at home and your relationships, or have these started to slip noticeably?

If one or more of these criteria are getting heavier, what you are experiencing may have gone beyond a simple low mood. For a more detailed framework of what depression looks like, you can read the article on symptoms of depression. Still, remember: these signs alone do not amount to a diagnosis; an assessment needs to be made by a professional.

What Can I Do When I'm Feeling Mentally Unwell?

The suggestions below are not a magic wand. The aim is not to make you feel good in one move, but to slow down a downward spiral a little and open up some breathing space.

Make the day smaller

When you feel bad, plans like "I'll sort everything out this week" usually end in disappointment. Instead, divide the day into morning, midday and evening, and set just one small goal for each part: having a shower in the morning, going outside for five minutes at lunchtime, sending a message to a friend in the evening. Completing small goals produces concrete evidence against the thought "I can't do anything".

Return to your body's basic needs

Keeping regular times for going to bed and getting up, walking outside at least once a day, not skipping meals and cutting down on caffeine in the evenings are ordinary suggestions; but being ordinary does not make them ineffective. A mind whose sleep pattern has been disrupted is far more easily carried away by negative thoughts.

Go on a news and screen diet

Constantly scrolling through the news, looking at other people's carefully curated slices of life or reading bad news at midnight adds new weight to an already tired mind. You do not have to give up your phone completely; but checking the news once or twice a day at set times and going to bed without your phone can make a difference.

Tell one person something concrete

The sentence "I'm feeling mentally unwell" often draws an equally vague response: "Don't dwell on it, it'll pass." Instead, try speaking more concretely to someone you trust: "I've been really worn out lately, and I feel a tightness inside in the evenings. You don't need to find a solution, I just wanted you to know." A sentence like this also makes it clear to the other person how they can support you.

Notice how you talk to yourself

When your mood drops, your inner voice gets harsher too: "Everyone else is managing, you're the only one who can't cope", "Is this really worth getting upset about?" These sentences do not motivate; they only add shame on top of the bad feeling. Catch one of the sentences you say to yourself during the day and ask: "Would I say this to a friend in the same situation, in the same way?" The answer is usually no. Then write down for yourself the fairer sentence you would say to that friend. For example: "I've been carrying a lot for three months; it makes sense that I'm tired." This is not self-pity; it is seeing reality in a more balanced way.

Add a small moment of enjoyment or meaning

When we feel bad, we tend to leave the things we enjoy until last, telling ourselves "once these jobs are done"; and since the jobs are never done, the enjoyment never comes. Place something lasting ten minutes into your day without expecting any result: drinking tea on the balcony, listening to a song you love, exchanging a few words with the neighbour's child. The aim is not to be happy in that moment, but to remind your body and mind that life is not made up of burdens alone.

Postpone big decisions

When your mood is very low, decisions such as quitting your job, ending a relationship or moving to another city can look tempting, because you want to escape from where you are. If possible, leave such decisions for a time when you feel a little more balanced. A change that is truly necessary will still be necessary a few weeks from now.

List your sources of stress

Write down on paper everything that is weighing on you right now, and put one of two marks next to each: "I can influence this" or "I can't influence this". For the things you can influence, identify the smallest step you could take; for those you cannot, think about how you might live with them in a way that wears you down less. The methods in the article on stress management may also help you make this distinction and work with everyday tension.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Your own efforts may stop being enough after a while, and that is not a failure. In the following situations it would be appropriate to speak to a mental health professional:

  • If the feeling of being unwell has continued nearly every day for more than two weeks
  • If there are marked changes in your sleep, appetite or energy levels
  • If you are struggling to meet your responsibilities at work, school or home
  • If you have lost interest in things you used to enjoy
  • If you notice that you are trying to calm yourself down with alcohol or other substances
  • If your hope for the future has faded and thoughts such as "there's no point in living" are appearing

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, do not carry them alone; in an emergency, call 112 (emergency services) without delay and let someone close to you know. Assessing whether medication is needed is the role of a psychiatrist.

How Is Feeling Mentally Unwell Addressed in Therapy?

The first sessions of therapy are often spent mapping this vague feeling. When did it start, in which situations does it get worse, in which does it ease a little, and what is the body going through during this time? These questions allow a blurred picture to come slowly into focus.

In cognitive behavioural therapy, the links between the situations you go through and the thoughts, emotions and behaviours that arise in them are explored together. For example, you may see how the thought "I can't keep up" pulls a person into more procrastination and more guilt. Once this cycle is noticed, it is worked with through small behavioural changes and exercises that test how realistic the thoughts are.

For some clients, this bad feeling is linked to much older patterns: constantly putting other people's needs first, being excessively afraid of making mistakes, or believing that showing emotions is a weakness. A schema therapy perspective can help in understanding which experiences feed these patterns and in developing more flexible options today. For more information about individual work on mood, you can visit the depression and mood page.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I feel mentally unwell for no reason at all?

You can; but many bad feelings that seem "for no reason" turn out, on closer inspection, to be linked to small, accumulated burdens, irregular sleep or postponed emotions. Sometimes a depressive period can also begin without any obvious external cause. Not being able to find the reason straight away does not mean that what you are going through is not real.

How can I explain to the people around me that I'm feeling mentally unwell?

Choosing a concrete statement rather than a general sentence makes things easier: briefly say what you are feeling and what you would like from the other person. Saying "I'm not asking for advice, I'd just like you to listen" can head off well-meaning but tiring advice.

Will this feeling pass on its own?

Short-lived dips in mood often ease as burdens lighten and basic needs are met. However, a state that lasts for weeks, affects your functioning or keeps intensifying can drag on if left alone. In such a situation, speaking to a professional can help the process unfold earlier and with less wear and tear.

Does feeling mentally unwell mean I am depressed?

No, not on its own. This expression can cover many different states, such as stress, anxiety, grief or hurt. When the duration and intensity of your symptoms and their effect on your daily life are assessed together, what you are facing becomes clearer.

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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