What is FOMO and why does it happen? Learn the symptoms of the fear of missing out, how it affects shopping and investing decisions, and ways to cope with it.
Have you ever felt a pang when you learned from a story post that your friends had met up without you? Or felt restless thinking you would not catch an investment opportunity everyone was talking about, a sale announced as "last day," or a concert whose tickets sold out within minutes? This feeling has a common name: FOMO, short for "fear of missing out." In an age when our phones are constantly in our hands and we can see what everyone is doing at any moment, this fear has seeped into the daily lives of many of us. In this article we look at what FOMO is, why it appears, how it can affect your life, and what you can do step by step to cope with it.
What Is FOMO?
FOMO is a persistent worry that others are having enjoyable, valuable or important experiences that you are not part of. This worry often comes with the feeling that "things are happening while I'm not there, and I'm being left behind." FOMO is not a diagnosis; it describes a pattern of feelings and thoughts.
This fear has two basic components:
- Perceptual component: The belief that others are having better, more fun or more meaningful experiences than you are
- Behavioural component: The urge to stay constantly connected, to keep checking and to try to keep up with everything so as not to miss these experiences
The fear of missing out is not a new feeling. People have always been wary of being excluded from the group or missing an important opportunity. But social media lays out the information that triggers this feeling in front of us twenty-four hours a day, and so has made it far more visible and intense.
What Are the Symptoms of FOMO?
The fear of missing out can show itself in different ways. You may notice some of the signs below in yourself. We should remind you that these signs on their own do not amount to a diagnosis.
Thought and emotion signs
- Intense unease, jealousy or sadness when you see others doing something without you
- The thought "Everyone is experiencing something, my life is boring"
- Lingering regret after turning down an invitation or being unable to attend an event
- Thinking "What if the other one was better?" after making a choice
- Feeling left out when you are on your own
Behavioural signs
- Constantly checking your phone, looking at the screen even when no notification has arrived
- Glancing at social media as soon as you wake up and just before going to sleep
- Saying "yes" to every invitation even when you are tired
- Focusing on recording and sharing a moment instead of living it
- Feeling obliged to follow every conversation in messaging groups
- Making unplanned shopping or investment decisions with the thought "I'll regret it if I miss out"
Physical signs
- Restlessness when your phone is not with you
- Disrupted sleep
- A feeling of being constantly on alert and tense
Say it is Saturday evening, you are tired and you decide to rest at home. But when you start seeing photos of your friends getting together, instead of resting you find yourself thinking about what you are missing. In the end you can neither really rest nor enjoy yourself. This is the most striking thing about this feeling: the fear of missing out takes away the experience you are having right now, too.
Why Does FOMO Happen?
Several factors play a role in the fear of missing out.
The need to belong: Human beings are social creatures. Belonging to a group has been important for survival throughout history. The fear of being excluded from the group therefore touches a deep place.
The constant flow of social media: In the past, if we missed a get-together we might hear about it days later. Today we see it instantly, with photos and videos. This makes what we have missed far more concrete and painful.
Curated moments: On social media, the most fun and most beautiful moments are generally shared. This creates the illusion that other people's lives are constantly full of excitement. We cover the link between comparison and the fear of missing out in detail in our article on comparison on social media.
Unmet needs: Research shows that people who feel lonely, worthless or dissatisfied with their lives can be more prone to this fear. In other words, the fear of missing out is sometimes related not only to opportunities outside but also to gaps inside.
Uncertainty and an abundance of choice: When we face many options, every choice feels like the loss of another. This makes deciding harder and increases regret after decisions are made.
Marketing language: Messages such as "last chance," "limited stock," "don't miss out" and "everyone's talking about this" deliberately trigger the fear of missing out and push us towards quick decisions.
FOMO in Daily Life: From Social Media to Investment Decisions
This fear is not limited to social events; it can reflect across many areas of life.
In social relationships
Feeling obliged to attend every invitation makes it hard to set boundaries. The person cannot say "no" despite their tiredness, budget and needs. Over time this can lead to burnout.
In shopping and spending
Big sale days, "final hours" notifications and products shared on social media can trigger impulse buying. In periods when the cost of living stays high, the thought "I must buy before the price goes up" can also combine with the fear of missing out and lead to unplanned spending.
In investment and money decisions
In recent years in Turkey, many people trying to protect their savings have turned to investment instruments talked about around them or on social media. Posts that give the impression that everyone is making money can strengthen the thought "If I don't get in right away, I'll miss the chance." Investment decisions made out of this fear, without research and without a risk assessment, can lead to serious financial losses and then intense regret. It is important not to act hastily in money decisions and, if necessary, to get information from a trusted professional.
In work and career
Constantly checking emails, being unable to disconnect from work groups even on holiday, and trying to attend every training and event for fear of missing a new trend are common examples of the fear of missing out at work.
In teenagers and young people
For young people, being left out of the friend group is especially painful. Not being in a chat group, not being invited to an event or missing a post can feel like a heavy burden in this period when identity and the sense of belonging are taking shape.
How Do You Cope with FOMO? Practical Suggestions
Getting rid of the fear of missing out completely is not a realistic goal; but you can stop it from running your decisions and your mood.
1. Notice and name the feeling
The moment you feel this, stop and tell yourself: "I'm experiencing the fear of missing out right now." Naming the feeling puts a little distance between you and it and makes an automatic reaction harder.
2. Ask about the underlying need
Ask yourself: "Do I really want to be at that event, or am I afraid of feeling excluded? What do I need right now: connection, rest, recognition?" Once you notice your need, you can find healthier ways of meeting it.
3. Try JOMO: the joy of missing out
Known as the opposite of FOMO, JOMO (the joy of missing out) means finding pleasure in missing out. Consciously choosing not to attend an event, to read a book at home, to go for a walk or to do nothing at all, and enjoying that choice, is a skill. Remembering that you do not have to keep up with everything brings great relief.
4. Regulate your social media use
- Turn off notifications or limit them to important people only
- Use social media at set times of day for a limited period
- Mute accounts that constantly unsettle you
- Take care not to look at your phone before bed and as soon as you wake up
If you notice you get lost in the flow of news and posts until late at night, the suggestions in our article on doomscrolling may help too.
5. Set a "waiting rule" for decisions
If you are about to make a shopping or investment decision in a hurry, out of the fear of missing out, give yourself a waiting period of at least twenty-four hours. In that time, ask yourself: "Do I really want this, do I need it, or is the fear of missing out making me do it?" Most truly valuable opportunities can survive a twenty-four-hour period of thought.
6. Clarify your values
What is truly important to you? Family, health, deep friendships, learning, creativity? When you know your values, it becomes easier to make choices in line with them rather than chasing every opportunity. Before saying "yes" to an invitation or an opportunity, consider whether it serves your values.
7. Focus on the present moment
The fear of missing out is the mind being somewhere else. Try simple mindfulness exercises to make contact with where you are, the people beside you and what you are doing: focusing on flavours while eating, feeling your steps while walking, putting the phone away while chatting.
When we try to keep up with everything, we cannot be fully present in anything. Truly living the moment you choose is worth more than what you miss.
8. Strengthen real bonds
Giving time to a few close relationships instead of hundreds of connections on a screen meets the need to belong in a much deeper way. Spending regular, meaningful time with people who truly care about you reduces the power of this fear.
9. Practise saying "no"
Saying "yes" to every invitation, every project and every opportunity drains your energy and time after a while. A kind but clear "I won't be able to make it this time, let's catch up next time" lets you protect yourself without harming your relationships. At first you may feel guilt or unease after saying "no"; you will see that this feeling fades over time and that the people who really matter respect the boundary. Start with small situations: politely declining a meet-up you do not want to go to or a task you cannot keep up with can be the first steps of this skill.
10. Practise gratitude
Each evening, write down three things you experienced that day that did you good. This simple habit turns your attention from what you missed to what you lived, and helps you see the value of your own life.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
The fear of missing out is a feeling everyone experiences from time to time. However, support from a mental health professional can help in the following situations:
- If the fear of missing out has turned into constant anxiety
- If you cannot stop the urge to check your phone
- If your sleep, work or school life is clearly affected
- If decisions you made out of this fear have led to serious financial problems
- If you constantly feel alone, excluded or worthless
- If low mood and hopelessness have spread across most days
If intense feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness have turned into thoughts of harming yourself, please do not stay alone; in an emergency call 112 (emergency services).
If anxiety symptoms are making your daily life difficult, getting expert support in the area of anxiety and panic can be helpful.
How Is FOMO Approached in Therapy?
In therapy, the fear of missing out is approached less as a screen habit and more through the person's needs, values and relationship with themselves.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): Thoughts such as "Everyone is having fun and only I'm being left behind" and "If I miss this opportunity I'll never make up for it" are noticed and evaluated with a realistic view. Behaviours such as constant checking are reduced step by step.
Emotion regulation skills: The aim is to learn to stay with the feeling for a while rather than reacting at once to the restlessness that comes with the fear of missing out.
Values-focused work: The person is supported in clarifying their own values and making choices according to them.
A schema-focused view: In some people this fear can be linked to themes from childhood such as "exclusion," "inadequacy" or "emotional deprivation." Noticing these themes makes it easier to understand why the feeling is so intense.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is FOMO an illness?
No, FOMO is not a diagnosis. It is a pattern of feelings and thoughts that many people experience from time to time. However, when it intensifies it can be linked with anxiety, sleep problems and impulsive decisions.
Who is FOMO most common in?
People of any age can experience this fear. Teenagers and young adults may be affected more often because they use social media more heavily and the need to belong is more pronounced in this period.
I regret decisions I made because of the fear of missing out. What can I do?
Instead of blaming yourself, focus on what you have learned from the experience. Setting a waiting rule for similar decisions in future and clarifying your values can help prevent a repeat.
Will quitting social media get rid of FOMO?
A short break can reduce the feeling; but for lasting change it is also important to work on the underlying needs and thought patterns. If you feel you are struggling in this process, remember that support is always available.
Bu yazı genel bilgilendirme amaçlıdır; tanı veya tedavi yerine geçmez. Yaşadığınız güçlükler için bir ruh sağlığı uzmanına başvurmanız önerilir. Acil bir durumda lütfen 112'yi arayın.
Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
Eğitimler