How much pocket money should teenagers get, weekly or monthly? Setting the amount, holiday money from relatives, saving and building a teen's money sense.
On Thursday evening a fourteen-year-old comes into the kitchen and asks, in a slightly sheepish voice: "This week's money has run out; could you give me a bit for tomorrow?" The parent thinks to themselves, "But I only gave it to you on Monday", while also thinking about how much prices have changed. Giving pocket money to a teenager looks on paper like a simple family decision; but in practice it brings many questions with it. How much should it be? Weekly or monthly? Should it be tied to chores or grades? Who should keep the money that comes in at bayram (the religious holidays)? In this article we look at the purpose of pocket money for teenagers, a practical way of setting the amount and steps you can take at home to help a young person build money sense.
Why Does Pocket Money for Teenagers Matter?
The most important function of pocket money is not to put money in a young person's pocket but to teach them to manage money. Adolescence is one of the best periods for learning this skill. The cost of mistakes is still small; a fourteen-year-old who runs through their budget by Wednesday learns what it means to go without the school canteen for a few days. Making the same mistake at twenty-five with a credit card costs far more.
Regular pocket money gives a young person three basic skills:
- Planning: Spreading a certain amount over a certain period and prioritising needs.
- Learning to wait: Saving for something they want, being able to postpone momentary wants.
- Living with consequences: Seeing the results of spending decisions and learning from them for next time.
A young person who has no pocket money and asks their parent for money for every single need, on the other hand, does not get the chance to develop these skills. On top of that, every request turns into a small negotiation and sometimes an argument. Regular pocket money also eases the relationship between parent and young person by reducing these repeated negotiations.
How Much Pocket Money Should a Teenager Get?
It is not possible to answer this question with a figure that applies to everyone. The family's income, the city you live in, the young person's age and what the pocket money will cover are the main factors that determine the amount. In periods when the cost of living is constantly felt, the figure a friend's family gives or last year's amount is not a sound yardstick either.
A more useful route is to start not from a figure but from a list of expenses:
- Work out the young person's real expenses together. For one month, note down together what the young person spends money on: food at school, money topped up on their travel card, phone data, going out with friends, stationery, hobbies.
- Decide what the pocket money will cover. Will essential costs such as school and transport be covered separately by the parent, or be included in the pocket money? Whose budget will clothes, personal care products and gaming purchases come from?
- Set the amount in line with this scope. Pocket money should be enough to cover the expenses it includes, but at a level that requires the young person to make choices. Pocket money that comfortably covers everything does not teach planning; pocket money that is not enough for anything may lead the young person to look for other ways.
- Review it at regular intervals. As prices change or the young person's responsibilities grow, for example at the start of each school term, reassess the amount together.
Then there is invisible pocket money. In Turkey, many young people receive money beyond the pocket money their parents set: the money Grandad presses into their palm at the end of a visit, the pocket money an aunt gives with a "Don't tell your mum", an uncle's present for a good school report. This money is an expression of love and is precious; but when it becomes regular and unannounced, it can quietly upset the balance the family has established around pocket money for teenagers. Talking about this with the elders without hurting them, and making sure the money that comes in is also seen as part of the young person's budget, keeps the pocket-money arrangement consistent.
Carrying out this process together with the young person both gives them a realistic view of the family budget and lets them feel part of the decision.
Weekly or Monthly?
How often pocket money is given can be decided according to the young person's age and planning skills.
Younger teenagers, for example those between twelve and fourteen, usually do better with weekly pocket money. A one-week period is easy to keep track of, and mistakes can be made up for quickly. Older teenagers, for example sixteen and above, can learn longer-term planning with monthly pocket money. Monthly pocket money is also closer to the salary pattern of adult life.
The transition can be made gradually: first weekly, then fortnightly, then monthly. Stepping back a stage during periods when the young person finds it hard to make their budget last until the end of the month is not a failure but part of learning.
The day pocket money is given should also become a habit. A fixed time, such as every Monday morning or the first day of every month, lets the young person plan their budget around that day. Giving pocket money "when someone remembers" or as the parent sees fit offers the young person an uncertain arrangement they cannot plan around, and leaves them having to ask the same question every week.
The method of payment matters too. Some families prefer cash pocket money, because physical money makes it concretely visible that it shrinks as it is spent. Many banks, meanwhile, offer card and account options for young people that parents can monitor. Using a card prepares the young person for digital payment habits; but because it also shows how quickly spending can happen, it can help to look through the spending records together at first.
Should Pocket Money Be a Reward or a Punishment?
One of the questions parents often ask is whether pocket money should be tied to chores, grades or behaviour.
Keeping the basic pocket money unconditional is usually healthier. Pocket money is a learning tool; when it is tied to every behaviour, it turns from a money-management tool into a discipline tool. In addition, tying chores to money can lead the young person to see shared responsibilities within the family as "a job done for money": tasks such as laying the table or tidying their room are part of being a member of the family.
Alongside this, offering extra earning opportunities can work well. Paying for jobs beyond the usual responsibilities, such as washing the car, tidying the garden or helping out in a relative's shop at the weekend, gives the young person the experience of being paid for their effort.
Avoid cutting pocket money as a punishment. Cutting off pocket money after an argument teaches the young person not to manage money but that money is an instrument of power. It can also leave them unable to meet basic needs such as school and transport. Consequences for behaviour should be thought of in areas other than money.
Pocket money is not money handed to a young person; it is a space for learning in which they begin to build their relationship with money.
Tips for Building a Young Person's Money Sense
Giving pocket money is only the start of the process. There are several things you can do at home to help a young person build a healthy relationship with money.
Don't rescue them; think it through together
When the young person runs out of pocket money early, giving extra money is the easiest but least instructive option. Instead, thinking together with "Why did your money run out early this week, and what could you do differently next week?" lets the young person review their own spending. Of course, if an essential need such as transport or health is involved, meet it; but the young person should live with the consequences of discretionary spending.
Support them in setting a savings goal
The young person saving for something they want, such as headphones, a concert ticket or a pair of trainers, is the most concrete way of learning to wait and to plan. Some families encourage saving by contributing a certain proportion of the amount the young person saves.
Share the family budget in an age-appropriate way
It is not right to load all of the family's financial worries onto a young person; but sharing, in a way suited to their age, how much the bills, the rent or the grocery shopping cost shows them where money comes from and where it goes. A sentence such as "The electricity bill came in really high this month; let's be a bit more careful about switching off the lights" lets the young person feel part of the family budget.
Talk about needs and wants
Rather than flatly refusing requests for designer clothes or the latest phone model, it helps to talk about the difference between a need and a want. When the young person has the option of paying for something they want out of their own pocket money or savings, they weigh up much better how much they really want it.
Make digital spending visible
Today's young people often spend money not from a wallet but from a screen. An in-app purchase, a streaming subscription or in-game currency does not create the sense of "shrinking" that physical money does. Sitting down with the young person once a month to review their digital spending, talking about which subscriptions are actually used, and showing how much small amounts grow by the end of the month helps money sense develop in this new area too.
Be a model yourself
A young person's relationship with money is largely shaped by watching their parents' relationship with money. Unplanned shopping, a constant refrain of "We don't have any money" or, conversely, never talking about money at all give a young person different messages. Occasionally thinking your spending decisions through out loud shows the young person how a decision-making process works.
If you are wondering how to start pocket money with younger children, our article on pocket money for children describes the first steps in detail.
When Pocket-Money Arguments Escalate
In some families, pocket money stops being a calm space for learning and becomes a constant subject of argument. The young person keeps asking for more; the parent keeps asking, "Isn't it enough?" Cycles like this usually emerge when the scope of the pocket money is unclear or the amount has not been reviewed for a long time.
When pocket-money arguments become frequent, it can help to discuss the scope and amount again and to put the rules in writing. The article on pocket-money arguments with teenagers separately covers ways of turning arguments into a negotiation.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Pocket money can usually be sorted out by talking within the family. However, consulting a professional may be useful in the following situations:
- If money has become a constant and escalating source of conflict in the family
- If the young person experiences an uncontrollable urge to spend beyond their pocket money
- If taking money from home without permission, borrowing or secret spending has begun
- If there are signs of loss of control over betting, games of chance or in-game spending
- If money has become an intense source of anxiety affecting the young person's self-esteem or relationships with peers
How Are Money Arguments Addressed in Therapy?
Money arguments in therapy are rarely only about money. They are often a reflection of broader issues such as trust, autonomy, peer relationships and communication within the family. In the counselling for teenagers process, work may focus on the following areas:
Understanding the young person's relationship with money: What does money mean to the young person? For some young people, money is a means of being accepted among peers; for others, a symbol of independence from their parents. Exploring these meanings helps in understanding spending behaviour.
Working with impulsive spending: Using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques, the thoughts and feelings that trigger the young person's spending decisions are examined, and thoughts such as "If I don't buy it now, I'll miss the chance" are questioned.
Negotiation within the family: In joint sessions, the parents and the young person discuss pocket-money rules, expectations and responsibilities together. The therapist provides a setting in which both sides' needs are heard.
Reviewing the parents' attitudes: The parents' own worries about money, what they experienced around money in their childhood and how this affects their attitudes today can also be discussed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who should keep the money relatives give at bayram?
Bayram money can sometimes add up to far more than the young person's monthly pocket money. Rather than leaving all of this money with the young person, deciding together that part of it can be spent freely and part set aside as savings both preserves their sense of owning the money and supports the saving habit.
Should siblings get equal pocket money?
Equality does not always mean fairness. It is natural for siblings of different ages, whose pocket money covers different expenses, to be given different amounts. What matters is explaining the reason for the difference openly and making sure the younger sibling knows they will reach the same scope when they get to that age.
Is raising their pocket money if their grades go up a good motivator?
Tying grades to money can turn learning from an inner wish into an external reward, and it can create an unwanted cycle in which pocket money falls when grades fall. It is healthier to choose ways other than money to recognise achievement, such as a special day spent together.
Should I interfere with money they earned working during the summer holidays?
Leaving decisions about money the young person has earned through their own work largely to them strengthens their sense of responsibility. But supporting them in making a plan for the money, for example setting part of it aside as savings, and discussing their decisions without judging them, offers the young person a valuable experience.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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