Singing in a Choir: The Psychology of Breathing Together

How can singing in a choir support your mood? A guide on belonging, loneliness, stage fright and the first rehearsal for anyone thinking of joining a choir.

On Tuesday evenings at seven o'clock, a group of thirty people gathers in a classroom at a public education centre. Among them are a retired nurse, a newly graduated engineer, a mother who rushes over after dropping her two children at school, and a factory worker who makes it in time on the staff bus after work. They all live different lives during the day; but when the conductor raises a hand, they breathe in at the same moment, fall silent at the same moment, and sing the same folk song in four different voice parts. Singing in a choir can be, for many people, the two most eagerly awaited hours of the week. In this article we look at what singing in a choir can offer psychologically, how it relates to loneliness and a sense of belonging, the hesitations people commonly have, and practical suggestions for anyone thinking of joining a choir.

Why Can Singing in a Choir Feel Good?

Many people who join a choir say that after rehearsal they feel lighter, more alive or calmer. There are several possible reasons behind this experience.

Breath and body: Singing requires you to lengthen your breath and take deep, regular breaths. For someone who breathes shallowly and quickly all day, this can help the body slow down. Choir rehearsals often begin with breathing and vocal warm-ups; even these warm-ups can work as a break in their own right.

Attention fully directed to the moment: When singing a piece in four parts, you need to follow your own part, watch the conductor and hear those beside you. This intense focus can allow the mind to step away for a while from the thoughts that go round and round all day. Many choir members say that during rehearsal they have no time to think about their work, their debts or problems at home.

The pleasure of creating together: A melody that sounds ordinary when you sing it on your own turns into something entirely different when it merges with thirty voices. The moment a chord settles perfectly and the hall fills with sound creates, for many people, a sense of fulfilment that is hard to describe.

Structure and continuity: Weekly rehearsals bring a regular rhythm to life. Having a regular meeting point can matter especially in times of transition, such as retirement, job loss, moving house or children leaving home.

The effect of choirs and singing on mood is an area of research; however, the research on which this article is based did not examine a source on this subject at the level of a systematic review. For this reason we do not speak of an effect size here, and we treat choir as an experience that may do some people good.

Belonging and Loneliness: The Social Side of a Choir

Perhaps a choir's greatest strength is that it brings people together around a shared goal. In a choir, your age, your profession and where you come from are often secondary; what matters is that your voice is part of that whole.

For someone experiencing loneliness, this experience can be especially valuable:

• Being together without having to talk: For someone who does not know what to say in social settings, communication in a choir is first established through music. A shared piece can take the place of conversation; conversation then comes naturally over time.
• Being visible without being in the spotlight: In a choir your voice is heard and matters; but you are not alone on stage. This balance can be a safe starting point for someone who feels uneasy in crowds.
• Responsibility and being expected: When you miss a rehearsal and someone notices, asking "Where were you last week?", it makes a person feel that someone was expecting them.
• Bonds across generations: In many choirs, people of different ages sing side by side. Friendships can develop between young people and retirees that would be hard to form in another setting.

For many people living in big cities, this social side is even more important. For someone who has moved to another city for work, left their circle behind and does not even know the name of their neighbour in the apartment block, a weekly choir rehearsal can be the place where the first familiar faces in a new city are seen. Similarly, for someone who has lost their spouse or whose children have left home, a choir can bring meaning back into the flow of the days.

You can read our article on feelings of loneliness for the causes of loneliness and other ways of building connection.

In a choir no one has to sing beautifully on their own; the beauty comes from voices carrying one another.

Does My Voice Have to Be Good to Sing in a Choir?

This is the first question on the minds of many adults thinking of joining a choir. Often this question goes back to a sentence heard in childhood: "You don't really have a voice" or "Just move your lips." Remarks like these can be carried for years and can sever a person's connection with music.

The truth is that the great majority of choirs are not made up of professional singers. Amateur choirs are formed of people who have had no musical training, who cannot read music, and who simply love to sing. The voice is a skill that can develop with regular practice; breath control, good posture and ear training improve over time.

Some choirs ask participants to do a short voice test. This test is generally not an exam, but a way of determining in which voice group, for example the soprano, alto, tenor or bass part, the person will sing most comfortably. It is perfectly natural to feel nervous at this stage; most conductors know that newcomers are nervous and act accordingly.

You can also think of joining a choir as part of the experience of "starting something new as an adult". The article on learning an instrument as an adult may also give you some ideas for understanding your hesitations about this.

How Does the First Choir Rehearsal Go?

Knowing what will happen before you go to your first rehearsal can reduce anxiety. Although choirs differ, you can generally expect a flow like this:

• Warm-up: Rehearsal begins with movements that relax the body, breathing work and simple vocal exercises. Because everyone does them together, this part is comfortable for newcomers too.
• Splitting into parts: The conductor rehearses the piece by voice group. First one group sings its part, then the others; finally all the voices are brought together. You sit next to your own group and learn by listening to the experienced choir members.
• Repetition and corrections: The same section is repeated many times. The conductor's remarks, such as "The altos were a little late here", are not personal criticism but part of the group's shared work.
• Break: Most rehearsals have a short tea break. This break is the moment you get to know the social side of the choir.
• Closing: Rehearsal usually ends with the whole piece, or a section of it, being sung from start to finish. Even if you do not know half the words at your first rehearsal, this final combined run-through is often the most moving moment.

After the first rehearsal it is very likely that you will feel tired, a little confused but strangely lighter. These mixed feelings are normal; at the next rehearsal everything will feel a little more familiar.

Stage Fright and Other Hesitations

The hesitations of people who want to join a choir but cannot quite take the step generally fall under a few headings:

"What if I sing it wrong?"

Rehearsals exist precisely for singing it wrong. A piece is rehearsed for weeks, sometimes months; every choir member makes mistakes again and again. Making mistakes is a natural part of learning, and in a choir they often go unnoticed anyway.

"Everyone knows each other; I'll be left out."

Joining a new group is not easy for anyone. It is natural to feel a little like an outsider in the first weeks. Arriving early for rehearsal, asking the person next to you a question during the break or going to a choir social event can speed up the process of settling in.

"Going on stage at a concert scares me."

Concert nerves are an experience shared by the great majority of choir members. Being part of a crowd softens this nervousness a little. Many choirs allow new members flexibility over whether to take part in their first concerts. If your stage fright is also markedly affecting other areas of your daily life, it may be helpful to consider whether it is a sign of social anxiety; we look at this in our article on social phobia.

"I don't have time."

A rehearsal of two or three hours a week can seem daunting in a busy work and family schedule. But many choir members say that these hours give back to them and that they spend the rest of the week with more energy. Still, it is important to choose a routine that genuinely fits into your life, without pushing yourself. For example, a choir that rehearses every two weeks rather than every week, or a project choir that comes together only at certain times for a concert, can be a more realistic start during a busy period.

Practical Suggestions for Anyone Thinking of Joining a Choir

In Turkey there are many different kinds of choir: Turkish folk music and Turkish classical music choirs, polyphonic choirs, youth and university alumni choirs, choirs set up within workplaces, and choirs run by municipalities and public education centres. To find out which kind suits you:

1. Start from the music you love. Which songs do you most often find yourself humming? Singing in a genre you love keeps your motivation alive.
2. Ask to watch a rehearsal. Many choirs allow interested people to sit in on a rehearsal as a guest. Seeing the atmosphere, the conductor's manner and the mood of the group makes your decision easier.
3. Talk about expectations. Find out from the start how often the choir rehearses, the concert schedule, any membership fee and the expectation of regular attendance.
4. Give yourself time. In the first few rehearsals you do not have to understand everything or learn your part straight away. Feeling that you belong somewhere takes time.
5. Look after your voice. Drink plenty of water, avoid shouting before and after rehearsal, and if hoarseness lasts a long time, see an ear, nose and throat doctor.

If you cannot join a choir

If your hours, your health or where you live do not allow you to join a choir, you can still enjoy some of the benefits of singing at home. Singing along to a song you love in the kitchen, singing together with a friend or your children, or starting a folk song for everyone to join in at family gatherings can create small but meaningful moments. Some choirs also run online sessions; although these do not fully replace face-to-face rehearsal, they can be a start.

A choir is not always smooth sailing

As in any group, tensions can arise in choirs from time to time: who gets the solo parts, the conductor's criticisms, absences, gossip behind the scenes... These tensions do not have to be a reason to leave the choir; but if they are constantly wearing you down, you also have the right to reconsider whether that environment is good for you. If the purpose of a choir is to contribute to your feeling good, staying in an environment where you constantly feel inadequate or excluded does not serve that purpose.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Singing in a choir is not therapy; it is an enjoyable, social and creative activity. It does some people good, and for others it may not be the right fit at that time. It is wise to see a mental health professional in the following situations:

• If your feeling of loneliness has been intense for a long time and even taking part in social activities does not ease it,
• If even the thought of joining a group causes intense anxiety, a racing heart or an urge to escape,
• If you can no longer enjoy the things you used to love, including singing,
• If there are marked changes in your sleep, appetite and energy,
• If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life. In that situation, do not wait; in an emergency, call 112 (emergency services).

Psychotherapy offers a safe space to address issues such as loneliness, social anxiety or low mood. In therapy, gradually making room again for activities you value can also be part of the work; joining a choir could be one of those steps. You can find general information about this process with adults on the individual therapy page.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I join a choir without being able to read music?

Yes. Many amateur choirs have members who cannot read music; pieces are learned by ear, with recordings and through repetition. If you become interested in reading music over time, some choirs also teach the basics.

Am I too old to join a choir?

There is no age limit for singing in a choir. Many choirs have members who joined in retirement. What matters is your wish to do it and having a routine that allows you to attend weekly rehearsals.

I joined a choir but feel like an outsider in the first weeks; should I leave?

Feeling like an outsider in the first weeks is very common. Before deciding, it may help to give yourself a few months and start small conversations with the people next to you during breaks. If after that time you still feel bad, trying another choir or a different activity is also an option.

• #choir
• #belonging
• #loneliness
• #adult hobbies

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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