How does struggling to make ends meet wear down the mind? Learn the emotional effects of constant money worries, the signs to watch for and practical steps.
Adding up the items in your basket in your head before you reach the till, quietly leaving one or two things behind when the total comes out higher than expected, thinking "How are we going to get through this month?" even the day after your salary arrives... Struggling to make ends meet has become something like an invisible lodger in many homes in Turkey today. Between bills, rent, the school bus fee and school costs, the sums start to tighten before the month is even half over. In this article we look at how financial hardship affects not only your wallet but your mind, your body and your relationships; which signs you can watch for in yourself; and what you can do to make this burden a little more bearable.
What Is Struggling to Make Ends Meet, and Why Is It So Exhausting?
Struggling to make ends meet is the state of constant alertness that comes from living on an income that does not cover, or only just covers, basic needs. It is different from a one-off crisis. A crisis arrives, puts you under strain and passes; financial hardship reminds you of itself every day, with every shop and every new price-rise headline.
Studies of scarcity in psychology draw attention to an interesting point: constantly feeling that resources are not enough leads the mind to devote a significant part of itself to calculating that shortfall. In other words, money calculations drain your mental energy not only when you are actually doing the sums, but like a programme running constantly in the background. This is why people living with financial hardship often say, "I haven't done anything, but I'm so tired." The tiredness is real, because the mind has been working non-stop all day.
Another exhausting aspect is that the link between effort and outcome weakens. You work more, spend more carefully, socialise less; yet the month still ends in the same place. When the human mind does not see the reward for its effort, it is prone to feeling helpless. Known in psychology as "learned helplessness", this state can over time turn into the thought "Whatever I do is pointless" and a loss of motivation.
What Are the Emotional Signs of Financial Hardship?
The effect of money troubles shows up differently in each person. Some become irritable, some withdraw, and some carry on as if nothing were wrong while their body sounds the alarm. The signs below are only meant to give you an idea; none of them on its own means a diagnosis.
Changes in thinking
- Returning frequently and involuntarily to numbers during the day: rent, bills, instalments, the school bus
- Questioning yourself for a long time after every purchase: "Did I really need that?"
- Thinking about the future only in terms of worst-case scenarios
- Difficulty concentrating, missing what you read or hear
Changes in feelings
- Overreacting to small things, flaring up quickly at home in particular
- Comparing yourself with others and feeling inadequate or left behind
- Being unable to enjoy the things you love, a kind of emotional numbness
- Guilt at being unable to give your children or partner the life you want for them
Changes in the body and behaviour
- Difficulty falling asleep, or waking in the early hours and being unable to get back to sleep
- Jaw clenching, neck and back pain, heartburn
- Turning down invitations from friends, weddings and birthdays with excuses
- Constantly postponing your own health check-ups, dental treatment or new glasses
The last point is especially important. Many people struggling to make ends meet cut back on their own needs first. This approach, which seems sensible in the short term, can wear down both physical and mental health in the long run.
How Does Money Anxiety Change Everyday Life?
Let's say that in a family with two children, both the mother and the father work. When their salaries are added together, the rent, bills and school costs are covered; but the kitchen budget is stretched a little more each month. At dinner the conversation keeps circling back to prices. When one of the children asks for money for a school trip, they notice the tension on their mother's face and the next time decide not to ask. Nobody means any harm; yet without anyone noticing, the home turns into a place where money is talked about, kept silent about and calculated.
Financial hardship above all takes away small everyday pleasures. Habits such as having a tea at a café, buying a simit after an evening walk or bringing a child a toy either stop altogether or are done with guilt. Life gets squeezed into a narrowed space where only the essentials are done. This narrowing can loosen a person's connection with life.
In Turkey the question of making a living also has a social dimension. Expectations such as the gifts to take on holiday visits during Bayram, the gold to pin on the couple at engagements and weddings, and the generous table to set for guests do not change easily. Trying to keep up with these expectations out of a worry about "what people will say" puts further strain on the budget. And when you cannot keep up, shame steps in. We discussed the wider emotional effects of economic conditions across society in our article on the cost of living and mental health.
Who Finds Financial Hardship Hardest?
An economic squeeze touches everyone, but it does not weigh on everyone equally. Some life circumstances can make the emotional impact of money worries more pronounced.
People living on an irregular income: For shopkeepers, freelancers, seasonal workers and those on commission, the problem is not only how little comes in, but the uncertainty of when and how much will arrive. Uncertainty is one of the most powerful fuels of anxiety.
Single-income families: The person who is the household's only earner may feel the whole family's burden on their shoulders. Falling ill, being made redundant or suffering a setback is perceived not merely as a personal problem but as a threat that will affect everyone.
Retirees: Many people who worked for years and imagined retirement as a time of rest may find themselves having to look for work again or accept support from their children because their pension does not stretch far enough. This can bring with it a feeling that their labour went unrewarded and a sense of dependence that hurts their dignity.
Those caring for both their children and their parents: The middle-aged generation, squeezed between the two, tries on the one hand to meet their children's school costs and on the other the medication and care expenses of elderly parents. There is neither time nor money left for themselves.
Being in one of these groups does not mean you will inevitably experience psychological difficulties. But it can help you understand why your load feels so heavy.
What Can You Do to Cope With Struggling to Make Ends Meet?
We cannot increase your income with an article; but it is possible to shrink the space that money worries take up in your mind and to be less worn down under the same conditions. The suggestions below aim to strike a balance on both a practical and an emotional level.
Get the sums out of your head and onto paper
Figures going round in your head look bigger than they are. Once a week, for example on Sunday evening, write down next week's essential payments and the amount you have in a notebook. The aim is not to make a flawless budget but to reduce uncertainty. Once the numbers are written down, the mind no longer has to keep repeating them for fear of forgetting.
Set aside a time for thinking about money
Instead of thinking about money in scattered bursts all day, set a 15-minute "accounts time" at the same hour every day. When a payment comes to mind during the day, jot down a quick note and tell yourself, "I'll look at that at seven this evening." This is not suppressing the thought, but giving it an appointment.
Separate what is in your control from what is not
Inflation, exchange rates and price rises are not in your hands. But which bill to pay first, which subscription to cancel and whom to talk to are in your hands. Divide a sheet of paper in two; write what you can control on one side and what you cannot on the other. Directing your energy to the first column can noticeably reduce the sense of helplessness.
Look into the support you are entitled to
Many people never look into the resources they could turn to, out of embarrassment or because they think "that isn't for people like me". Finding out about municipal social support units, social assistance and solidarity foundations, scholarship opportunities for students or the benefits your employer offers can sometimes open up unexpected breathing room. Asking for support is not giving up your responsibility, but carrying it more wisely.
Deliberately bring back free pleasures
Write down five activities that do you good and cost nothing: walking in the park, calling an old friend, borrowing a book from the library, playing a board game with the children, sitting by the sea. Do them by putting them in your calendar, not "if there's any spare time". While financial hardship tries to narrow your life, you will be consciously making room.
Limit your sources of comparison
Constantly seeing holidays, new cars and laden tables on social media can lead you to perceive your own situation as worse than it is. Notice which accounts make you feel bad about yourself and mute them for a while. This is not running away, but protecting an already tired mind from an unnecessary load.
Talk about money in the family in an age-appropriate way
Hiding the financial situation from children entirely and sharing all your anxiety with them are both difficult. A calm, reassuring explanation such as "We're being a bit careful with spending at the moment, but we'll find a way together for everything you need" is often enough. It matters that the child does not feel like the cause of the problem.
Being short of money is not a flaw of character; more often it is the reflection in your home of conditions that develop beyond your control.
Soften the way you speak to yourself
Sentences such as "I'm useless" or "Everyone else manages, it's only me who can't" make an already difficult situation emotionally heavier. When these thoughts come, try answering them as you would a friend: "I'm going through a hard time and I'm doing everything I can." This is not avoiding responsibility; it is protecting the strength you need to carry it.
When Does Struggling to Make Ends Meet Become a Mental Health Problem?
Feeling anxious, sad or tense in the face of economic hardship is an entirely understandable reaction. In some cases, however, these reactions can become severe enough to seriously affect a person's ability to function. The following signs may indicate that you should consider seeking professional support:
- If for more than two weeks you have felt low, hopeless or unmotivated almost every day
- If your sleep and appetite patterns have changed markedly
- If you are experiencing symptoms such as anxiety attacks, palpitations or shortness of breath
- If arguments with your partner or children have become more frequent and harsher
- If you have noticed yourself trying to find relief through alcohol, cigarettes or gambling
- If thoughts such as "Nothing makes sense any more" or "Everyone would be better off without me" are going round in your mind
The thoughts in the last point should be taken especially seriously. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, please do not carry them alone; in an emergency call 112 (emergency services) and let someone you trust know straight away. You can find out more about how the feeling of hopelessness works and how it can be eased in our article on feelings of hopelessness.
How Is Financial Hardship Addressed in Therapy?
Therapy does not solve the economic problem directly, and a therapist does not provide financial advice. But working with the load that financial hardship creates in the mind and in relationships can help a person stand more firmly under the same conditions.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a commonly used approach here. Thinking patterns that magnify money anxiety, such as catastrophising ("If we can't pay the rent we'll end up on the street"), overgeneralisation ("It will never get better") or personalisation ("It's all my fault"), are identified together and weighed against the evidence. The aim is not to make reality look rosy, but to stop seeing it as more terrible than it is.
Therapy also works on the steps of problem solving: defining the problem, listing possible options, weighing up their pros and cons, choosing one to try and evaluating the result. In the mental fog that financial hardship creates, this structure can give a person a renewed sense of direction.
For some clients, money is bound up with deep beliefs that go back to childhood. For someone who grew up in poverty, today's squeeze can revive an old fear; the feeling that "I could lose everything at any moment" may be experienced far more intensely than the circumstances warrant. A schema therapy perspective helps to understand how these old traces mix with present-day reactions.
If depressive symptoms are to the fore, work in the area of depression and mood can accompany this process. If the symptoms are severe, an assessment by a psychiatrist may also be recommended.
Frequently Asked Questions
I'm constantly irritable because of money problems. Is that normal?
Living under pressure for a long time makes the nervous system raise the alarm more easily, so a shorter fuse is an understandable reaction. Even so, if this anger is mostly directed at those closest to you, it may help to take short breaks, postpone conversations at moments of tension and notice the helplessness beneath the anger.
Is there any point going to therapy before my finances improve?
Therapy will not change your income, but it can change how you feel, how you make decisions and how you communicate with your loved ones under the same conditions. Many people find that as the mental load lightens, taking practical steps becomes easier too.
Should we hide our financial situation from our children?
Children usually sense tension at home; hiding it completely can simply make them more anxious. Rather than detailed figures, giving a short, reassuring, age-appropriate explanation and the message "This isn't your responsibility" is healthier.
Can I stop thinking about money altogether?
It is not realistic for someone with essential payments to switch off money thoughts completely. The goal is to stop these thoughts from taking over your whole day; setting aside a specific accounts time and focusing on what you can control help with this. If you are finding it hard to carry this load alone, remember that seeking support is also an option.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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