Being a student abroad can bring loneliness and anxiety as well as excitement. Learn about common difficulties, warning signs and practical ways of coping.
The day you received your acceptance letter may have been one of the happiest days of your life. Your family was proud, your friends congratulated you, and you felt the excitement of starting a brand-new life in a new country, in a new language. A few months later, the picture can look a little different: evenings spent alone in a dorm room, lectures you struggle to follow, a budget you are constantly calculating, and the question, "What if I can't make it?" Being a student abroad is as much a serious emotional load as it is a great opportunity. In this article, we look at the psychological difficulties students studying abroad often face, the signs to watch for, the balance in relationships with family and concrete steps you can start applying today.
Why Can Being a Student Abroad Be So Challenging?
Studying abroad often means several major changes arriving on top of one another at the same time. Leaving your family for the first time, adjusting to a new education system, thinking and writing in another language, finding a place to live in a new city, dealing with bureaucratic procedures and building a new social circle... Each of these is a source of stress on its own.
Although the experiences of students who go for a bachelor's, master's or doctorate differ, there are some things in common:
- Developmental transition: For undergraduates in particular, this period falls in the middle of the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Basic questions such as identity, independence and relationships look for answers in a new culture.
- Differences in academic culture: In some countries, independent study, classroom discussion and critical writing are expected far more. For students used to the rote-learning and exam-focused system in Turkey, this difference can be surprising at first.
- Financial pressure: Rent, tuition fees, the cost of living and fluctuations in the exchange rate can put constant pressure on the budget of the student and the family.
- Legal uncertainty: Matters such as the student visa, the residence permit and the right to work after graduation can make the future feel uncertain.
The experience of postgraduate students, particularly doctoral students, deserves separate attention. The doctoral process is often a long, lonely and uncertain journey. The relationship with the supervisor, pressure to publish, anxiety about the scholarship running out and the thought "my peers have homes, families and careers, and I'm still a student" can make this period harder. Long hours in the laboratory or library narrow social life; when experiments or thesis chapters do not progress at the desired pace, a person may link this directly to their own worth. For undergraduates, on the other hand, daily responsibilities come to the fore, such as living alone for the first time and managing your own meals, bills and health appointments. Whatever level you study at, it is important to accept that the difficulty you face makes sense within your own circumstances.
The existence of these challenges does not mean that being a student abroad is a bad decision. It simply matters to know that when you struggle, this is not "inadequacy" but a real and understandable burden.
Signs of Mental Health Difficulties in Students Studying Abroad
Students often downplay what they are going through by saying "everyone struggles, it will pass". Sometimes it really does pass; but some signs call for a closer look. The symptoms below do not amount to a diagnosis on their own, but if they continue for a long time it can be helpful to listen to yourself.
Emotional signs
- A constant feeling of sadness, emptiness or hopelessness
- Homesickness becoming so intense that it affects daily functioning
- Excessive intolerance of small things, or bouts of crying
- The feeling of "I don't belong here" growing heavier and heavier
Thought and behaviour signs
- Stopping going to lectures, constantly putting off assignments
- Not leaving your room, withdrawing from people
- Staying up all night in front of a screen and sleeping during the day
- The thought "I'll disappoint my family" going round and round in your mind
- Starting to use alcohol or other substances to suppress feelings
Physical signs
- Difficulty falling asleep, or a constant wish to sleep
- A marked decrease or increase in appetite
- Headaches, stomach problems, constant fatigue
If symptoms such as palpitations, shortness of breath and difficulty concentrating intensify during exam periods, the suggestions in our article on exam anxiety can also guide you.
Cultural Dynamics That Affect the Psychology of Students Abroad
There are certain cultural elements that shape the experience of students who go from Turkey. Knowing them can help you make sense of what you are going through.
The family's investment and the sense of "debt": Many families make serious financial sacrifices so that their child can study abroad. The student is aware of this sacrifice and often feels it as a responsibility, even a debt. This can make it hard to ask for help when struggling: "They spent so much money, I can't say now that I'm having a hard time."
"Pride" and "el âlem" (what other people think): Among relatives, neighbours and family friends, "the child studying abroad" is a kind of symbol of success. Options such as dropping a course, changing departments or going back can be seen as a matter of family "reputation" and not only a personal one.
The habit of talking about feelings: In some families, voicing emotional difficulties is not customary. Well-meant but inadequate answers such as "Be strong", "Pray and it will pass" and "Study, don't dwell on it" can deepen the student's loneliness.
Styles of friendship: Friendships in Turkey are often warm, spontaneous and intense. In some countries, relationships are more planned, more distant and slower to develop. At first this difference can be read as "nobody likes me"; yet often it is simply a different social rhythm.
Relationships With Family: The Balance of Staying Connected From a Distance
Being a student abroad also means rearranging the relationship with the family. This is something both the student and the family have to learn.
Between too much control and too much distance: Some families call every day, even several times a day; they ask where you are, what you have eaten and who you have been seeing. Other families hardly call at all so as "not to disturb" their children. Both extremes can create different kinds of pressure for the student.
The "everything's fine" mask: Many students hide their difficulties so as not to upset their families. Although this reduces the family's worry in the short term, in the long term it can leave the student completely alone.
Family problems in Turkey: When parents' divorce, a relative's illness or financial difficulties are watched from afar, a student can experience both helplessness and the guilt of "I should be with them".
Imagine a student in the first term of a master's degree who learns that their father has been taken to hospital. Their exams are approaching, the ticket is expensive, and because of their visa they cannot leave for long. The stress this student is going through is not only academic; it is also deep family anxiety and loneliness. In such cases, speaking to the university's student counselling unit and asking about flexibility in the academic calendar can be an important first step.
How Can You Support Yourself as a Student Abroad?
The suggestions below are small but effective steps you can apply in daily life.
- Build a daily framework. Waking up, eating and studying at set times gives the mind a sense of security in a period full of uncertainty. Structure carries you even on days when motivation is low.
- Find out about your university's support services. Many universities have student counselling centres, academic writing support, international student offices and mentoring programmes. Looking at these in the first term means you know where to turn when you struggle.
- Share academic difficulties early. If you do not understand a course, talk to your lecturer or supervisor without waiting for the end of term. In many academic systems, asking for help is not a weakness but expected behaviour.
- Make budget anxiety concrete. Track your income and expenses in writing. Vague worry about money usually becomes more manageable once it is clarified with figures.
- Set small goals for social connection. Concrete and small goals such as "This week I'll go to a student society event" or "I'll have a coffee with someone from the same course" are more achievable than the big, vague goal of "I should make friends".
- Balance Turkish student communities and the local environment. Turkish student societies can bring great relief in terms of language and culture. Alongside this, building ties with local and international students will also make your adjustment easier.
- Set up a pattern of communication with your family. For example, talking two or three times a week at set times balances both your worry and your family's. Try sharing your difficulties little by little, in small pieces.
- Look after your body. Regular walks, getting out into daylight, enough sleep and not skipping meals directly affect your emotional resilience, especially during exam periods.
- Redefine success. Instead of getting the top mark in every course, create a more inclusive definition of success, such as "I keep learning, I am adjusting, I am taking care of myself".
Studying abroad takes courage; but asking for help when you struggle takes at least as much.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
The difficulties of the adjustment process often ease over time. Even so, you might consider seeing a mental health professional in these situations:
- If low mood, hopelessness or intense anxiety last longer than two weeks
- If you cannot go to lectures, cannot take exams or your academic progress has stalled
- If you have isolated yourself almost completely from people
- If your sleep and eating patterns have been disrupted for a long time
- If you are experiencing intense physical anxiety symptoms similar to panic attacks
- If your alcohol or substance use is increasing
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, please call the emergency number of the country you are in straight away: 112 in EU countries, 911 in the US and Canada, 999 or 112 in the UK, 000 in Australia. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service; in situations of serious risk, local emergency services and local psychiatric services are necessary.
Your university's counselling centre and the healthcare system of the country where you live are important resources; therapy in your native language is not a replacement for these but an option that can be used alongside them when needed. To learn about the scope and conditions of psychological support under your student insurance, we recommend that you check your insurance terms.
How Do We Work With Students in Online Therapy in Your Native Language?
Many students follow their lectures comfortably in a foreign language, but speaking Turkish feels more natural when it comes to subjects such as family, longing, shame or guilt. Being understood without having to explain the emotional weight carried by expressions such as "Annem üzülür" (my mother will be upset), "ayıp olur" (it would be improper) and "babamın emeği" (my father's hard work) can make it easier for some students to start therapy.
In a process based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), work with students can generally cover these areas:
- The cycle of anxiety and procrastination: The cycle in which putting off an assignment brings relief in the short term but increases anxiety in the long term is examined together; small, manageable study steps are planned.
- Perfectionist thoughts: Thoughts such as "One failing grade ruins everything" are examined along with the evidence and more balanced alternatives are developed.
- Social anxiety and loneliness: Anxiety and avoidance behaviours in social settings are worked on step by step.
- Communication with family: You practise how to tell your family about difficulties and how to express your boundaries.
- Anxiety about the future: Decisions such as staying or returning after graduation are considered in terms of values rather than anxiety.
For online sessions, it is important to choose a time that suits your course timetable and the time difference, to find a quiet and private setting in your dorm room or home, to use headphones and to have a secure internet connection. Payment can be made online; pricing in TL and payment with an international card are possible. For more information, you can look at our pages on online therapy and Turks living abroad.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does homesickness last when you are a student abroad?
Homesickness is generally more intense in the first months and fades over time, with ups and downs. Religious festivals, exam periods or difficult news from home can bring the longing back. If longing disrupts your daily life for a long time, you may consider getting support.
Can I get therapy in Turkish instead of going to my university's counselling centre?
These two options do not have to be alternatives to each other. Your university's counselling centre is very valuable for access to on-campus resources and academic arrangements. If you want to talk about emotional and family matters in your native language, you can consider online therapy in Turkish alongside it.
Do I have to tell my family that I am in therapy?
No. As an adult, you do not have to share your therapy process with anyone, and your sessions are subject to the principle of confidentiality. Some students choose to tell their families over time, and some do not; both choices are yours.
I want to change departments or leave university. Is it useful to get support with this?
Big decisions like these usually come with intense anxiety, guilt and family pressure. In therapy you are not told what to do; instead you are helped to see your options, values and fears more clearly. That way you can make your decision by thinking it through rather than out of panic.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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