Teenager Who Wants a Summer Job: The Psychological Benefits of a First Job

What can a first job give a teenager who wants a summer job? Psychological benefits, family worries, risks and ways to support them in their first job.

The first week of June. School reports have been handed out and term is over. At dinner your sixteen-year-old son makes an announcement: "The café in our neighbourhood is looking for staff; I'm going to work there over the summer." There is a brief silence at the table. His father says, "What's the need? We provide for you"; his grandmother mutters, "What will people say, that we're going hungry?"; and you feel both proud and anxious. A teenager who wants a summer job stirs up mixed feelings in many families. On one side is the joy of seeing the young person want to take on responsibility; on the other are worries about safety, exploitation, schoolwork and the perception that "we're sending our child out to work". In this article we will talk about what a first job can add to a young person's psychological development, which of the family's worries are justified, and how you can accompany this experience so that it does the young person good.

Why Does a Young Person Want to Work in the Summer?

A young person's wish to work rarely rests on a single reason. Some young people want to earn their own money and buy something without asking their family: a new phone, a concert ticket, a holiday with friends. Others are bored of long, unstructured summer days and want to "belong" to something. For some, working is a way of proving to themselves and their family that they have grown up.

Economic conditions also affect this wish. At times when the cost of living is keenly felt, some young people may want to work so as not to be a burden on their family's expenses or to contribute to the household budget. This is a sensitivity that deserves appreciation; however, a young person feeling obliged to shoulder the family's financial burden is a different matter and should be discussed separately.

Finally, there is curiosity. For a young person who wants to see which work they like, which settings they feel comfortable in and how the adult world works, a first job is a kind of space for discovery.

The Psychological Benefits of a First Job for a Teenager Who Wants a Summer Job

A summer job done under suitable conditions can give a young person experiences that school cannot always offer.

A sense of competence

At school, success is often measured in grades, and a young person with a low average may feel "useless". Yet keeping up with orders in a café without mixing them up, handling the back-to-school rush in a stationery shop or chatting with customers at a greengrocer's gives the young person the feeling "I can get things done." This feeling is one of the important building blocks of psychological resilience.

Learning the value of money

For a young person who gets pocket money from their family, a hundred lira is an abstract number. A young person who earns the same money through a few hours of work, however, looks at the price of a pair of trainers with completely different eyes. This experience can help the young person understand both money management and their family's labour better.

Managing time and responsibility

Being at work at a set time, keeping their attention going until the shift ends, completing a responsibility without handing it to someone else... These strengthen a young person's ability to regulate their own behaviour. Responsibility that ends when the school bell rings lasts, at work, until the customer leaves.

Communicating with adults

Communicating with an employer, colleagues and customers develops a young person's social skills. Especially for shy young people, being able to stay calm with a tense customer or to ask a manager a question are small but valuable gains.

Getting an idea about the future

A first job also shows a young person what they don't want. A young person who works on their feet all summer may, perhaps for the first time, think "I want to have a profession." Or, on the contrary, they may notice an interest in a field they never expected. This awareness can help turn worry about the future in a concrete direction. You can take a look at the article on young people's worries about the future, a worry that is common among young people.

Structure and meaning

Completely empty summer holidays can, in some young people, lead to staying up all night, days spent on screens and a vague lack of motivation. A regular job gives the day a rhythm and a purpose.

Families' Worries: Which Ones Are Justified?

Some of parents' worries on this subject are very justified, while others are fed more by social expectations.

Justified worries: The young person being put to work in heavy or dangerous jobs unsuitable for their age; long shifts stretching into the night; uninsured and unregistered work; wages not being paid; being shouted at, humiliated or facing another form of abuse at work. In Turkey the working age, hours and the kinds of work children and young workers may do are restricted by legal regulations. Finding out whether the job the young person will do complies with these regulations is the family's responsibility.

Worries worth reconsidering: Thoughts such as "Our child doesn't need to work", "What will people think?" or "He's still a child; what does he know about work?" often focus more on protecting the family's image than on understanding the young person's wish. A young person who wants to earn their own money is trying to prove something to themselves rather than send the message "We're in need".

Worries about schoolwork: Especially for young people finishing Year 11 and about to start preparing for the YKS (Turkey's national university entrance exam), families worry that a summer job will disrupt exam preparation. This worry can be balanced with realistic planning. It is possible to work a few days a week or half days and devote the rest of the time to preparation and rest. A part-time job may even be more productive than a summer spent not working but without any plan.

How Can a Teenager Who Wants a Summer Job Be Supported in Their First Job?

Leave the job search to them

Finding the job through someone you know may seem easy, but the process of looking for a job is itself instructive. A teenager who wants a summer job gains important skills when they go to local shopkeepers and ask questions themselves, prepare a short CV or go to a job interview. You can be by their side during this process: rehearsing together before an interview and talking about questions such as "How would you describe yourself?" or "How would you ask about working hours?" reduces the young person's anxiety. Getting a negative answer from a few places is not the end of the world either; being able to tolerate rejection is one of the most useful skills of adult life.

Assess the job together

When a job offer comes, talk through these questions with the young person: Where is the job, and how will they get there? What will the working hours be? Are the wage and payment arrangements clear? Will they be insured? What are the young person's responsibilities? Asking these questions also teaches the young person what to look out for when assessing a job. If possible, visiting the workplace together and briefly meeting the employer gives reassurance.

Make the decision with them

Rejecting the young person's wish outright and saying "Do whatever you want" both reduce their opportunity to learn from the experience. After sharing your worries and listening to their reasons, set conditions both sides can accept: an upper limit on working hours, a time to be home, at least one full day off a week, and so on.

Be prepared for the difficulties of the first week

A first job rarely starts the way it was expected to. The tiredness of standing all day, the embarrassment of making mistakes and the sarcastic comments of older colleagues can weigh heavily on a young person.

Let's say your daughter comes home with tears in her eyes on the third day of working at an ice-cream shop in a seaside town. A customer shouted at her because she got an order wrong, and her supervisor also told her off in front of everyone. In that moment the thought "Quit, we don't need it" may cross your mind. Yet listening first, understanding what she felt and then asking "What would have made you feel better? Would you like to say something to your supervisor about it tomorrow?" teaches the young person how to cope with a difficult emotion. Of course, if humiliation or abuse is involved, you should support her in leaving the job; but telling the difference between struggling and being abused is one of the most valuable lessons of this experience.

Let them manage the money

The family deciding on all of the money the young person earns reduces the meaning of the experience. Instead, make a simple plan together: one part for savings, one part for something they want, one part for free spending. The young person may make mistakes here; they may spend most of their first wages within a few days. That too is a learning experience.

Protect rest and time with friends

The summer holiday is also a time for the young person to rest, spend time with friends and have time for themselves. Don't let the job take over the whole summer or let the young person cut themselves off completely from their friends out of tiredness. Keeping certain days of the week completely free of work keeps the experience healthy.

Notice their effort

Notice and put into words your teenager getting up early in the morning to go to work, the moment they bring their first wages home, and how they resolved a difficulty with a customer. Concrete appreciation such as "This week you woke up to your own alarm every morning; I saw that" nourishes a young person's willingness to take on responsibility. For the at-home side of giving teenagers responsibility, the article on giving teenagers responsibility may also be helpful.

Very often the most important thing a young person learns in their first job is not the job itself, but that when they are struggling there is someone at home who listens to them.

Signs to Watch Out For

For a teenager who wants a summer job, a first job is usually a positive experience. Even so, some signs may suggest that the job is not doing the young person good or that there is a problem in the workplace:

• If the young person experiences marked anxiety, nausea or crying before going to work
• If they avoid talking about what happens at work and give evasive answers to questions
• If working hours constantly run longer than agreed, or wages are not paid or are delayed
• If they encounter behaviour at work such as being shouted at, humiliated, unwanted physical contact or threats
• If they seem to have been introduced to cigarettes, alcohol or substance use in their new circle
• If their sleep, appetite and mood have changed noticeably

If one of these signs is present, talk to the young person in a calm tone and, if necessary, support them in leaving the job. It is common for young people not to tell their families about the negative things they experience at work; they may think, "It was my decision; if I complain now they'll say 'I told you so'." So before they start work, saying "If anything there bothers you, you can tell me even if it was your decision; I won't blame you" creates an important safety net.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

The experience of working is not, on its own, a situation that requires professional support. However, it may be helpful to consult a specialist in the following situations:

• If, after a negative experience at work, the young person constantly feels worthless and is withdrawing
• If losing their job or making a mistake has led to excessive shame and collapse
• If the wish to work has turned into an attempt to carry the family's financial burden single-handedly, and the young person is being crushed under this load
• If conflict between the family and the young person over this issue is seriously wearing down the relationship

How Are a Young Person's Responsibility and Autonomy Addressed in Therapy?

In the process of adolescent counselling, a young person's wish to work can be addressed as part of their search for autonomy and their need to feel valued. In sessions with the young person, the difficulties they experience in the workplace, the way they express themselves, their boundary-setting skills and how they treat themselves when they make a mistake are discussed. With a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach, thoughts such as "I made a mistake, so I must be useless" or "If I say no, I'll be sacked" are examined and more balanced perspectives are developed.

In sessions with parents, work is done on how to strike a balance between protecting the young person and giving them space while accompanying their growth. A young person's first job experience very often also gives the family the opportunity to see the young person through new eyes.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does working in the family business offer the same benefits?

Working in a family business can also teach responsibility and the value of work. However, it is important that the young person is treated there not as "the boss's child" but as an employee with clear rules and responsibilities, that their pay is clear, and that it does not turn into an obligation. If possible, a job outside the family also builds new skills.

Who should decide how they spend the money they earn?

The young person having a say over the money they have earned themselves strengthens the meaning of the experience. A parent can offer guidance on the balance between saving and spending; but rather than monitoring every purchase, agreeing on a general plan is healthier.

My son wants to quit a few days after starting work; should I let him?

First try to understand why he wants to quit. If there is abuse or a safety problem at the workplace, you should support him in leaving. If the problem is difficulty settling in, suggesting he try for a set period longer and then deciding together helps him learn to cope with difficulty.

• #first job experience
• #teenage responsibility
• #summer holidays
• #adolescent development

Yazar

Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

Eğitimler