Why does university choice anxiety happen and how can it be managed? Tips to make the decision process easier for young people and families after the YKS exam.
On the day the YKS results (Turkey's national university entrance exam) are announced, in many homes the waiting of recent months suddenly turns into a new uncertainty: "What do I put down now?" For young people trying to decide among rankings, minimum scores, cities, scholarships, relatives' suggestions and countless comments read online, choice anxiety can feel even harder than exam anxiety. Because this time the question is not only "Will I be able to do it?" but "Will I be able to make the right choice?" In this article we look at the causes of anxiety during the university choice period, family dynamics, steps that can make the decision process easier, and when getting support would be helpful.
What Is Choice Anxiety?
Choice anxiety is a state of intense worry, fuelled by fear of making the wrong decision, that arises in the process of choosing a university and a programme. This anxiety stems from a young person feeling that they are at an important threshold in their future. A certain level of anxiety can support doing research, weighing options carefully and taking responsibility. But when anxiety grows, it reduces clarity of thinking, paralyses decision-making and makes it harder for the young person to hear their own wishes.
In Turkey, the university choice is often perceived not just as an educational decision but as a turning point that will determine the young person's whole life. This perception increases the meaning loaded onto the decision and, with it, the anxiety. Yet life paths are much more flexible than a single decision made at eighteen; there are many options such as lateral transfer, double major, minor, master's degrees and career changes.
What Are the Symptoms of Choice Anxiety?
Anxiety during the choice period can show itself in different ways:
- Constantly changing the preference list, being unable to decide
- Spending hours researching minimum scores and rankings and still not being able to relax
- The thoughts "What if I choose wrong?" and "What if I regret it?" going round in the mind
- Sleep problems, changes in appetite, stomach ache, headache
- Irritability, frequent arguments with family
- Putting the subject off completely, leaving the decision to others by saying "Whatever you say"
- Constantly comparing themselves with friends' choices
- Crying spells or an intense feeling of helplessness
Some of these symptoms are quite common at this time. The intensity and duration of anxiety should be assessed by how much it affects the young person's daily functioning; these symptoms alone do not mean a diagnosis.
Why Does University Choice Anxiety Happen?
Intolerance of uncertainty
The choice process is by nature uncertain: which programme you will be placed in, whether you will really like it, whether you will find a job after graduation cannot be known in advance. Young people who find it hard to tolerate uncertainty may turn to excessive research or, conversely, to complete avoidance in order to control these unknowns.
The search for a perfect decision
The thought "There is one right choice and I have to find it" is one of the beliefs that feeds anxiety the most. In reality there are often several "good enough" options. Searching for the perfect one can lead to being unable to commit to any option.
Family expectations and the voice of the extended family
In Turkey, the choice decision is often a family decision. The opinions of parents, grandparents, aunts and family friends are part of the process. Suggestions like "Become a doctor, it's a guaranteed profession", "Put engineering, you'll find a job" or "Teaching is good for a woman" may be well-meant, but can push the young person's own interests and abilities into the background. A young person being caught between the fear of disappointing their family and their own wishes is one of the strongest sources of anxiety.
Economic conditions and choice of city
The cost of living, high rents in big cities and access to dormitories, which have been prominent on families' agendas in 2025 and 2026, make the choice decision more than an academic one. Questions such as "If they study in this city, can we afford it?" and "A foundation university or a state university?" can create a burden that the young person feels even when it is not spoken about. Some young people may give up their own wishes so as not to be a burden on their family.
Worry about the future and about careers
Uncertainty in the job market, debates about the impact of artificial intelligence on professions and news about graduate unemployment are making young people ask more often "Which profession will still exist in the future?" We have covered this subject more broadly in our article on anxiety about the future.
Feelings about the exam result
A young person who has scored below what they expected may begin the choice process with disappointment, shame and anger. Choices made without working through these feelings can be made in haste or with a "nothing will happen anyway" feeling. It should not be forgotten that even a young person who scored higher than expected can feel the pressure of "I mustn't waste this score."
The Effect of Choice Anxiety on Family Relationships
The choice period can be a time of serious tension within the family. Parents worry about the young person's future and, with this worry, become more directive. The young person wants to make their own decision but at the same time needs their family's approval. When these two needs clash, arguments increase.
Imagine a young person who wants to study psychology while the family wants them to put down an engineering programme their score is enough for. The argument goes back and forth between "We're saying this for your own good" and "It's my life." At this point, what really needs to be talked about is often not the names of the programmes but the underlying worries on both sides: the family's fear of "What if my child can't find a job", and the young person's fear of "What if I do a job I don't like for the rest of my life."
Talking openly about these worries can turn the argument from a power struggle into a joint problem-solving process.
Siblings can also be affected by this process. When the household's agenda is minimum scores and preference lists for weeks, younger siblings may feel pushed into the background or may begin to worry early about their own exam years. In addition, if there is disagreement between the parents, the young person may feel they have to choose a side. Mother and father first talking between themselves and agreeing a shared stance prevents the young person from being caught between two voices and can markedly reduce the tension at home.
Step-by-Step Suggestions for Coping with Choice Anxiety
For young people
1. Accept the feeling first. Feeling anxious is a sign that you are making an important decision. Instead of trying to get rid of the anxiety completely, aim to take steps alongside it.
2. Take time to get to know yourself. Answer these questions in writing: In which lessons do I lose track of time? What subjects could I read about for hours? Do I enjoy working with people, with data or with objects? In what working environment can I picture myself?
3. Gather information from limited and reliable sources. Official guides, universities' own pages, your school guidance counsellor and conversations with people studying in the programme or doing the profession are far more helpful than random comments on social media. Putting a limit on daily research time stops the bombardment of information from increasing anxiety.
4. Evaluate the options comparatively. For each programme, set criteria such as interest, ability, city, cost, job prospects and family circumstances, and give each an importance rating of your own. This method moves the decision from an emotional whirlpool into a concrete assessment.
5. Aim for a "good enough" decision. Instead of the perfect choice, focus on creating a preference list that makes sense and is defensible for you.
6. Put catastrophic scenarios through a reality check. When the thought "If I choose the wrong programme my life will be ruined" comes, ask yourself: If this happened, what options would I actually have? How did I get through a difficult situation before?
7. Look after your body. Sleep, regular meals and short walks directly affect your capacity to cope with anxiety. Instead of editing the preference list at midnight, plan this work for the daytime.
For families
1. Listen first. Listen without judgement to what your young person wants, why they want it and what they are afraid of. The sentence "I want to understand what matters to you" is a good start.
2. Notice your own anxiety. Ask yourself honestly how much of what you suggest to your young person comes from their interests and abilities, and how much from your own worries or unfulfilled dreams.
3. Give information, let them own the decision. It is important to share openly the realistic limits on matters such as economic conditions and choice of city. But letting them make the decision within those limits makes it easier for the young person to take responsibility and stand behind their decision.
4. Be a buffer against the extended family's comments. Relatives' constant questions and suggestions can overwhelm a young person. You can reduce this pressure with a sentence such as "We're weighing the decision together, we'll share it when it's settled."
5. Separate the result from your love. Tell your young person clearly that whichever programme they are placed in, your love and support for them will not change.
After placement: regret, a gap year and plan B
Choice anxiety may not end when the list is submitted. When the results are announced, some young people experience a new wave of anxiety because they were not placed anywhere, and others because they are unsure about the programme they were placed in. A few steps taken at this point can help:
- Make room for the feeling: Feeling disappointment, anger or shame is natural. Instead of making a new plan straight away, letting these feelings settle for a few days makes it easier to make healthier decisions.
- List the options at a calm moment: Write down options with their pros and cons, such as an additional preference round, preparing again, studying for a year in the programme you were placed in and then reassessing, a lateral transfer or a different educational path.
- See the gap year not as a failure but as a period of preparation: For a young person who decides to prepare for the exam again, daily routine, social contact and movement are decisive in keeping motivation up. Staying alone at home all day can increase anxiety and lack of motivation.
- Reduce comparison: In this period, when the schools friends were placed in are shared on social media, staying away from these posts for a while can do you good.
For families too, the key in this period is not to confuse the result with the young person's worth. The message "A year doesn't matter much, we're with you" is one of the strongest supports for the young person's recovery. For young people who will start exam preparation again, the suggestions in our article on exam anxiety can also be a guide.
A preference list is not a life plan but a starting point. It can be redrawn as the paths unfold.
When Should You Seek Professional Support for Choice Anxiety?
Anxiety experienced during the choice period often reduces once a decision has been made. However, it can be helpful to talk to a specialist in these situations:
- If anxiety markedly disrupts sleep, appetite and daily functioning
- If the young person has frozen to the point of being unable to make any decision
- If conflict in the family has reached uncontrollable levels
- If there are intense feelings of shame, hopelessness or worthlessness linked to the exam result
- If there are intense anxiety attacks resembling panic attacks
- If the young person says things like "Everything is over" or "There's no point in living"
If the young person talks about harming themselves or ending their life, call 112 (Turkey's emergency services) without delay.
How Is Choice Anxiety Approached in Therapy?
Psychological support given during the choice period can be a short and focused process. Within adolescent counselling, the following work is generally done:
Understanding the anxiety: The thoughts that feed the young person's anxiety ("There is only one right choice", "If I disappoint my family I am worthless") are identified. With Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques these thoughts are questioned and more flexible perspectives are developed.
Decision-making skills: Work is done on clarifying values, evaluating options against criteria and tolerating uncertainty.
Emotion regulation: Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques and practical methods that can be used at a moment of anxiety are taught.
Meeting with the family: When needed, the family is included in the process. How parents' anxiety is reflected onto the young person and how choice conversations can be made more constructive are addressed.
A schema perspective: In some young people, early schemas such as "high standards" or "approval seeking" can lead to decisions being made according to other people's expectations. Noticing these patterns helps the young person to hear their own voice.
For families who are in another city or on holiday during the choice period, sessions can also be held through online therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens if I choose the wrong programme?
A decision that seems like the wrong choice can often be put right. There are options such as lateral transfer, double major, minor and retaking the exam. Many people can also find a place for themselves in fields different from the programme they studied.
When choosing, should I follow my family or myself?
The healthiest decision is one that puts the young person's own interests and abilities at the centre and also takes the family's realistic circumstances into account. Finding this balance requires an open conversation based on mutual respect.
Is choice anxiety normal?
Yes, feeling anxiety at the threshold of an important decision is quite usual. If the anxiety does not seriously affect daily life and reduces after the decision has been made, it is generally a temporary reaction. However, if it is very intense and long-lasting, getting support can be helpful.
My family is putting a lot of pressure on me in the choice period. What can I do?
Try explaining your feelings and wishes at a calm moment, together with your reasons. A guidance counsellor or an adult you trust acting as a go-between in this conversation can also make things easier.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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