When should you go to therapy, and how bad do you have to feel to see a psychologist? Learn 10 signs that you need support and how to take the first steps.
"Is this really enough to see a psychologist?", "There are people worse off than me", "Maybe it will pass if I wait a bit longer." These sentences cross the mind of many people who are thinking about getting support. There is no single, definitive answer to the question of when to go to therapy, because therapy is not only for big crises; it is an option for anyone who wants to live life in a more meaningful and balanced way. Even so, some signs show that talking to a specialist could help. In this article we look at ten important signs that might make you consider psychological support, why we put off going to therapy, questions you can ask yourself before deciding and how you can take the first step.
Why Is the Question of When to Go to Therapy So Hard?
Decisions about our physical health are usually clearer. When your arm is broken, you go to hospital; if your fever does not come down for days, you see a doctor. In mental health, the boundaries are blurrier. Everyone feels sad, anxious and angry from time to time. These feelings are a natural part of being human. That is why the question "When is it ordinary sadness, and when is it something that needs support?" can be confusing.
There are three criteria that can help here:
- Duration: How long has the difficulty you are experiencing been going on? Unhappiness lasting a few days is different from a lack of motivation that has not passed for weeks.
- Intensity: How strong are your feelings? Is it a tension you can cope with, or an anxiety that takes you over?
- Functioning: How much is this situation affecting your work, your studies, your relationships, your sleep or your daily routine?
When one or more of these three criteria becomes marked, it may make sense to consider getting support. But we would also like to remind you: you do not need to feel "bad enough" to go to therapy. Getting to know yourself better, becoming clearer in a decision-making process or strengthening your relationships are also valid reasons to seek it.
10 Signs You Need Psychological Support
The signs below are not a diagnostic list. Experiencing one or several of them does not mean you have a mental health problem. But they offer important clues that talking to a specialist could do you good.
1. Your feelings haven't passed for a long time
If sadness, anxiety, anger or a feeling of emptiness has continued for weeks and the state you keep saying "will pass after a while" just won't pass, it can be helpful to talk about it with a specialist. For example, low mood and lack of motivation lasting more than two weeks can be among the symptoms of depression.
2. You are struggling to do daily tasks
If things you used to do easily, such as getting out of bed in the morning, going to work or school, paying bills or tidying the house, now feel like a mountain, this is an important sign. In particular, a decline in interest in activities you used to enjoy and everything requiring great effort is a change that deserves attention.
3. Your sleep and appetite have changed
Difficulty falling asleep, frequent waking, waking very early in the morning or, conversely, a constant urge to sleep, and a marked decrease or increase in appetite can be signs of psychological difficulty showing up in the body.
4. Anxiety is narrowing your life
If you cannot control your worries, constantly think of the worst-case scenario or avoid certain places, situations or people, or if you experience sudden surges of anxiety such as palpitations and shortness of breath, getting support can help.
5. You have been through a challenging life event
The loss of a loved one, a separation, a divorce, losing a job, moving house, migration, a diagnosis of illness or a disaster such as an earthquake can strain a person's coping resources. If you feel you have not been able to pull yourself together after these experiences, needing support is entirely understandable.
6. What you went through in the past is affecting your present
If memories of an event from years ago come into your mind involuntarily, if you have nightmares, avoid situations that remind you of the event or feel constantly on guard, these may be traces of a traumatic experience.
7. You have recurring problems in your relationships
If you repeatedly live through similar conflicts with different people, end up in the same kind of relationships or struggle to form close relationships, understanding these patterns with a specialist can give you a new perspective. For problems with your partner, couple therapy can also be an option.
8. You turn to harmful ways of coping
Behaviours such as increased alcohol or substance use, uncontrolled spending, gambling, overeating or refusing to eat, or spending hours in front of a screen can be ways of escaping difficult emotions. Although these behaviours bring relief in the short term, they make problems bigger in the long term.
9. People around you have noticed a change in you
Sometimes we are the last to notice a change. If your family, friends or colleagues say "You've changed a lot lately" or "You're not like you used to be", it is important to listen to these comments.
10. You have lost hope in yourself or your life
Thoughts such as "Nothing will change", "There's no meaning in living" or "Everyone would be better off without me" are a sign that you should get support without waiting.
Why Do We Put Off Going to Therapy?
Even when we know that getting support would be helpful, we often put off taking this step for a long time. There are a few common reasons for this:
- Fear of stigma: Although prejudice about mental health in Turkey is lessening, you can still meet the thought that "if they're seeing a psychologist, there must be something wrong with them". In extended families or in small towns, the worry "what will people say if it gets around?" can also be decisive.
- The belief "I should sort it out on my own": In some families, being strong, solving problems within oneself and "not talking about troubles" are passed on as important values. This belief makes asking for help look like weakness.
- Comparison: The thought "There are people worse off than me" can lead you to belittle your own pain. Yet for your pain to be valid, it does not need to be bigger than anyone else's.
- Not knowing what to expect: Uncertainty about how therapy will go, what will be discussed or how to express yourself can create anxiety.
- Practical obstacles: Time, transport and financial circumstances are also important factors. Online therapy options can reduce these obstacles to some extent, especially for those living in different cities or abroad.
Going to therapy does not mean you cannot cope with your problems. On the contrary, it shows you have decided to take care of yourself and your life.
Can You Go to Therapy Without a Crisis?
Yes. Therapy is not only for periods of intense distress. Many people also seek psychological support for the following purposes:
- Getting to know themselves better and clarifying their values
- Organising their thoughts before an important decision, for example a career change, marriage or migration
- Developing communication and boundary-setting skills
- Getting support in the parenting process
- Learning to cope with stress more effectively
- Making sense of experiences from the past that were never talked about
You can think of it with an analogy: you look after your body not only when you fall ill but also through regular exercise and a balanced diet. In the same way, it is possible to take preventive steps for your mental health. Getting support before problems grow often makes the process easier too.
Signs for children and teenagers
Parents face a similar question for their children. Children often express their difficulties not in words but through behaviour. Long-lasting tantrums, refusing to go to school, regression to earlier developmental stages such as bedwetting, sleep problems, withdrawing from friends, a sudden drop in school performance or frequently recurring stomach aches and headaches are signs to watch for. In teenagers, withdrawal, a complete breakdown in communication with the family, risky behaviour and expressions of hopelessness matter. The same criteria apply to children and teenagers: duration, intensity and effect on daily life. In these situations, asking for an assessment from a specialist who works with children and teenagers can be a useful guide.
Life's transition periods
Transition periods such as starting university, taking a first job, getting married, becoming a parent, retiring or moving to another city can be demanding even when the changes are positive. In these periods identity, roles and routines are reshaped. Short-term support can help the transition be experienced more smoothly.
When to Go to Therapy? Ask Yourself Before You Decide
If you struggle to decide to go to therapy, asking yourself the following questions and writing down your answers can guide you:
- What is troubling me, and how long has it been going on?
- Which areas of my life is this affecting? Work, relationships, health, the things I enjoy?
- What have I tried so far? Which things worked and which did not?
- Have I been able to talk about this with someone I trust? Was talking enough?
- How would I feel if I were still in the same place in six months?
- What do I expect from therapy? What do I want to change?
The answers to these questions help you both decide and clarify what you would like to share in the first meeting.
Practical tips for taking the first step
- Research the right specialist: Look at the specialist's educational background, the approaches they work with and their areas of experience. Our article on how to choose a psychologist can guide you on this.
- Learn the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist: Knowing this distinction is important for deciding who to get support from according to your needs. A psychiatrist decides whether medication is needed.
- Note down your questions: Write down in advance what you are curious about regarding the length of sessions, their frequency, confidentiality and the process.
- Give yourself time: You do not have to tell everything in the first meeting. A sense of trust forms over time.
- Assess the fit: It is important that you feel understood and safe with your therapist. After a few meetings you can assess this fit.
When Should You Seek Professional Support? Situations You Should Not Wait On
Most of the signs above are sufficient reason to plan to get support. However, some situations cannot wait and call for urgent assessment:
- Thoughts or plans of harming yourself or ending your life
- Thoughts of harming someone else
- Experiences in which your connection with reality weakens, such as hearing voices others do not hear or seeing things that are not there
- Not sleeping at all for days, being unable to eat or being unable to look after yourself
- Being in an environment of violence or abuse
In these situations, call 112 (emergency services) or go to your nearest emergency department without losing time. Once the crisis has passed, a psychiatric assessment and a psychotherapy process can be planned.
How Are Reasons for Seeking Therapy Handled in Therapy?
When you first come to therapy, the process generally begins with an assessment. The specialist tries to understand what is troubling you now, how long this difficulty has been going on, which areas of your life it affects and what you expect from therapy. If you are curious about what happens in the first meeting, you can find details in our article on the first therapy session.
After the assessment, goals are set together and a work plan suited to you is created. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a structured, research-supported approach used for many reasons for seeking therapy. In CBT, the relationship between thoughts, emotions, bodily reactions and behaviours is examined, and skills that can be applied in daily life are developed.
Clinical Psychologist Eda Erkan Alapala completed a four-year CBT training at EABCT standards at the Association for Cognitive and Behavioural Therapies (KDTD), and has also received training in areas such as child and adolescent psychotherapy and play therapy. In her master's thesis she examined the relationship between early maladaptive schemas, psychological resilience and coping with stress. Individual therapy sessions can be held face to face in Çorum, or online from anywhere in Turkey and from abroad.
Frequently Asked Questions
How bad do I have to feel to see a psychologist?
There is no particular threshold. If the difficulty you are experiencing bothers you and affects your life, that is a valid reason to get support. Seeking help before problems grow often makes the process easier.
If I go to therapy, will everyone hear about it?
Under professional ethics, psychologists are bound by the principle of confidentiality. What is discussed in sessions is not shared with third parties, apart from exceptions set by law and relating to safety of life. The limits of confidentiality are generally discussed openly in the first meeting.
Isn't talking to a friend the same as therapy?
Talking to someone you trust is very valuable and does you good. But therapy is a professional process that offers the impartial perspective of a trained specialist, structured methods and the assurance of confidentiality. The support of your friends and therapy are not alternatives to each other but complements.
Is online therapy as effective as face-to-face therapy?
It is known that for many reasons for seeking therapy, online therapy can be as helpful as face-to-face sessions. Providing a quiet, uninterrupted environment in which you feel safe increases the effectiveness of online sessions.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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