How can writing song lyrics help you cope with difficult emotions? Learn where to start, suggestions for young people and the points to be careful about.
Are there half-finished lines in the notes app on your phone? Have you ever been listening to music on your headphones on the bus when a sentence came to you and you thought, "That could be a song", then jotted it down somewhere? Many young people and adults start putting their feelings into song lyrics during a difficult period; most of the time they show them to no one. Writing song lyrics is sometimes a break-up, sometimes anger, and sometimes an emptiness that has no name, turning into verse. But why does it do some people good, does it require talent, where do you start, and where should you be careful? In this article we look at how writing song lyrics can help with coping with emotions, practical suggestions for getting started, and its limits.
Why Can Writing Song Lyrics Help?
Putting emotions into words is hard for many people. Song lyrics can make this task easier in several different ways:
- They offer a form. Patterns such as verses, a chorus, rhyme and rhythm can help bring scattered emotions into some kind of order. Even when you do not know what to write, saying "I'll write four lines" creates a frame to start with.
- Figurative language creates distance. Saying "I'm very lonely" may feel hard; but building an image such as "the last train waiting at an empty station" makes it possible to express the same feeling from a more bearable distance.
- Rhythm brings the body into the process. While trying to fit words to a melody or tempo, a person also keeps time with their body without realising it. This can be thought of as processing the emotion not only in the mind but also in the body.
- They invite meaning-making. A good song tells a story. Arranging your own experience like a story can help you see what happened from a different angle.
- Something is created. A finished set of lyrics can give a person the feeling "I turned something hard into something".
These explanations are based on people's experiences and clinical observation. Strong research specific to writing song lyrics is limited; there is, however, a broader field of research on the effects of putting emotions into writing.
What Does Research on Expressive Writing Say?
The effects of writing about difficult experiences began to attract attention in the 1980s through the work of psychologist James Pennebaker. In these studies, participants were asked to put into writing their feelings and thoughts about experiences that were difficult for them.
A comprehensive meta-analysis bringing together research in this field (Frattaroli, 2006) examined 146 randomised studies and found that expressive writing showed, on average, a small but significant effect. This finding says two things at once: putting emotions into writing can benefit some people; but the effect is not large and may not apply equally to everyone.
Writing song lyrics can be thought of as a more structured and creative form of expressive writing. Songwriting is also one of the methods used in music therapy; there, however, the process takes place together with a trained practitioner, within a therapeutic framework. Writing lyrics on your own is a valuable self-care activity, not therapy. We discuss different ways of putting emotions into writing in detail in our article on writing therapy.
Putting a feeling into verse does not make it disappear; but it can give it a shape you are able to carry.
Where Do You Start with Writing Song Lyrics?
To write song lyrics you do not need to have had musical training, read music or play an instrument. The aim is not to write a hit but to express yourself. A few steps to get started:
- Choose a feeling or a moment. Rather than trying to tell a big story, focus on a single moment: the first morning after a break-up, the moment you learned your exam result, your last conversation with your father.
- Make a list of images. Write down, one under another, the sounds, colours, smells and objects that come to mind in connection with that moment. Concrete details such as "tea gone cold", "a creaking door" or "asphalt after rain" bring lyrics to life.
- Find the chorus. Look for a single sentence or line that carries the essence of your feeling. This can become the heart of the song, and its meaning can deepen with each repetition.
- Use a melody you know. If you cannot make up your own melody, try writing new words to the rhythm of a song you love. This makes it easier to adjust line lengths and stresses.
- Don't get stuck on rhyme. Rhyme is a lovely tool, but it is not compulsory. Don't sacrifice meaning for the sake of a rhyme.
- Don't judge the first draft. The first lyrics you write may be messy. Wait a day and read them again; change some lines and leave others as they are.
Imagine a seventeen-year-old who feels very lonely after their closest friend moves to another city. In the evenings, in their room, they start writing their own words to the rhythm of a rap track they love. The first lines are angry: "Everyone leaves, no one stays." A few days later they add a new verse: "But your messages still come, at midnight on the screen." When the song is finished, the loneliness has not gone; but they notice that the bond they thought they had lost actually continues in a different form.
It is no different for adults. Imagine a forty-five-year-old woman who, after losing her mother, cannot talk to anyone about it for months. One day in the kitchen she remembers an old türkü (Turkish folk song) her mother used to hum, and starts writing her own words to that tune: the scent of her mother's cardigan, the börek (savoury pastry) she made on bayram (religious holiday) mornings, the voice she last heard on the phone. She shows the lines to no one; but adding a few lines each evening gives her a small space of her own in which to carry her grief.
If you are finding it hard to start, you can also try this simple exercise: first write a short letter in prose addressed to the person or situation on your mind. Then underline the three strongest sentences in the letter. Shorten and simplify these sentences and arrange them one under another; choose one as the chorus. In this way you move into a song from text you have already written, without facing a blank page. Even if the resulting lyrics have no melody, reading them aloud or humming them can help the emotion find an echo in the body too.
It can also be helpful to collect what you write in a notebook or a digital folder. Looking back months later and seeing what you were dealing with in different periods, and how your emotions changed, can help you notice your own journey.
Young People and Writing Song Lyrics
Adolescence is a period in which emotions are felt intensely and are often hard to put into words. For many young people, music is an important part of identity, belonging and emotional expression. Whether it is rap, rock, arabesk (a Turkish genre known for its melancholy) or pop, writing their own lyrics can help a young person organise and voice their inner world.
Some suggestions for parents:
- Be curious, but don't push. If your child writes song lyrics, supporting this is valuable. Insisting on reading their lyrics, however, can intrude on their privacy. If they want to share, listen; if not, respect that.
- Don't panic straight away. The lyrics young people write can sometimes be dark, angry or sad. This is often a healthy expression of intense emotions. Writing sad lyrics is not, in itself, a warning sign.
- But be alert to signs. If expressions of self-harm, wanting to die or "I can't take it any more" appear often in the lyrics, and are accompanied by other signs such as withdrawal, changes in sleep and appetite or disengaging from school, it is important to talk about this calmly and to seek professional support.
- Show interest instead of criticising. Reactions such as "What kind of lyrics are these?" or "You're messing about with this instead of studying" can close off the space in which a young person expresses themselves. Instead, you could ask open questions such as "What were you feeling when you wrote this song?"
In Turkey, many young people live under intense pressure while preparing for the LGS or YKS (Turkey's national high-school and university entrance exams). During this period, creative pursuits such as writing song lyrics may be seen as "a waste of time". Yet short creative breaks can lighten a young person's emotional load a little. You can find support options for the emotional challenges of adolescence on our teen counselling page.
The Tradition of Expressing Feelings Through Words and Melody in Turkey
Putting emotions into verse is nothing new in these lands. Türküs give voice to life far from home, separation, poverty and love; ağıts (laments) tell of loss; manis (short folk quatrains) share everyday feelings in brief lines. In the âşık tradition, minstrel poets told of their own lives and the troubles of society with the saz (a long-necked lute) and with words. Today, rap and other contemporary genres may be a way for young people to meet a similar need in a different language.
A striking aspect of this tradition is that pain is shared collectively. A türkü carries the feelings not only of the person who wrote it but of everyone who sings and listens to it. Someone writing song lyrics may also sometimes realise, through this bond, that they are not alone and that others feel similar things.
We also describe ways of making room for emotions through poetry in our article on poetry therapy.
Points to Be Careful About
Writing song lyrics is usually a safe and enjoyable pursuit. Even so, it helps to keep a few points in mind:
- Be cautious about sharing. Think before sharing lyrics containing very personal feelings on social media. Negative comments or unexpected reactions can make things harder for you at a time when you are already sensitive.
- Respect other people's privacy. When writing about a relationship or a family matter, it is important not to expose people in a way that makes them recognisable.
- Avoid going round and round the same pain. Writing sometimes brings relief; but repeatedly rewriting the same pain and feeling worse each time may indicate that the situation needs to be looked at.
- Don't give in to perfectionism. If the thought that your lyrics are not "good enough" is stopping you from writing, remember: these lyrics do not need to move anyone; it is enough that they make room for you.
One more reminder is worthwhile: writing can sometimes bring unexpected memories and emotions to the surface. Especially when writing about a traumatic experience, if you feel shaken, sleepless or very tense, it is important to take a break, talk to someone you trust and seek support if necessary.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
If writing song lyrics does you good, keeping it up is a valuable self-care habit. In the following situations, however, it may be helpful to talk to a mental health professional:
- If long-lasting sadness, lack of motivation or hopelessness is affecting your daily life
- If you have been unable to recover months after a loss, separation or traumatic event
- If what you write keeps circling the same pain and you feel worse after writing
- If there are marked changes in your sleep, appetite, school or working life
- If thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life cross your mind
If the last point applies, call 112 (emergency services) without delay or go to your nearest emergency department.
In psychological support, creative tools such as writing and music can be included in the process according to the person's preferences. A young person, for example, may prefer to bring the lyrics they have written to a session and talk about their emotions through them. Some young people find it easier to read out or play a song lyric than to talk directly. In that case the lyrics are not interpreted; the young person shares what they want to say. The core work, however, is carried out with evidence-based approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), focusing on the person's thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to know about music to write song lyrics?
No. You do not need to read music or play an instrument. You can write words to the rhythm of a melody you know, or simply write lines like poetry. The aim is not to write a professional song but to express your feelings.
I only write sad lyrics. Is that a problem?
Writing sad lyrics is usually a healthy expression of difficult emotions. However, if you constantly feel worse after writing, or thoughts of harming yourself appear often in your lyrics, it is helpful to talk to a professional.
Should I share what I write with anyone?
That is entirely up to you. Sharing with someone you trust can sometimes bring relief; but you do not have to share. The lyrics belong to you, and you decide whom to show them to, and when.
The lyrics my child writes worry me. What should I do?
First, try to stay calm and talk with your child without judging. Dark lyrics do not always mean danger; but if there are other signs too, or expressions of self-harm appear, seek support from a mental health professional who works with adolescents.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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