Being afraid to go back home after an earthquake is an understandable reaction. Learn how to return step by step once your building has been found safe.
When the shaking stopped, you do not even remember how you got down the stairs. You spent that night in the car and the next one in a relative's garden. Weeks have passed since then; the building has been checked and you have been told there is no serious damage. But when you reach the front door of the block, your legs feel heavy, your heart races and you cannot take another step. Being afraid to go back home after an earthquake is an entirely understandable reaction of mind and body to the danger you lived through. In this article we talk about how this fear works, when it protects and when it restricts, and how you can return home step by step.
Why Are People Afraid to Go Back Home After an Earthquake?
During an earthquake your brain learns something extremely quickly: "Home = danger." This learning is designed to keep you alive, and it is very powerful. A single episode of intense fear can turn the places, sounds and even smells linked to that moment into alarm signals. This is why, as you approach your home, your body keeps sounding the alarm even if you consciously think "the building is sound".
Several factors strengthen this reaction:
- Aftershocks: Each aftershock repeats the message "the danger is not over" and refreshes the learning.
- Losses and what was witnessed: In people who have lost loved ones, seen rubble or been rescued from it, the fear can run much deeper.
- Uncertain information: Contradictory rumours about the state of the building undermine the sense of safety.
- The influence of the crowd: When neighbours and relatives stay outside, going in can look like an "odd" or "dangerous" decision.
An important reminder: if the official damage assessment has found your building risky or heavily damaged, not entering it is not fear but a correct and necessary decision. What we are discussing in this article is the difficulty of returning to a home that the authorities have found safe.
Afraid to Go Back Home: Which Reactions Are Common?
Fear about returning home after an earthquake can show itself in many different ways:
- Being able to go inside only during the day, briefly, to pick things up
- Keeping the door open all the time while inside and not taking your shoes off
- Being able to stay only on the ground floor or in the room nearest the door
- Being unable to sleep at home at night and sleeping in the car, a tent or a relative's house
- Rushing outside at the slightest vibration at home (the washing machine, a passing lorry)
- Irritability, crying or freezing when returning home is discussed
- Avoiding the stairs or the lift
These reactions are often natural in the first days and weeks; over time, as the surroundings remain safe, they gradually fade. Sometimes, however, rather than fading, they settle in. For instance, if months later a person can still only stay inside with the door open, or sleeps in the car every night, we can say that the fear has become restrictive rather than protective.
The Difference Between Protective Fear and Restrictive Avoidance
Fear protects us when danger is real. The problem arises when the fear continues at the same intensity after the danger has passed and narrows the person's life. To tell the two apart, you can ask yourself these questions:
- Is there an official or expert assessment of my building? If so, what does it say?
- Is my avoidance based on that assessment, or on the alarm my body is feeling?
- How is staying outside affecting my own and my family's health, work and the children's schooling?
- Is this easing over time, or staying the same, or getting worse?
Avoidance has an insidious side: every time you avoid, you feel brief relief. This relief sends the brain the message "running away saved you". In this way the belief that the home is dangerous grows stronger without ever being tested. The body never gets the chance to experience staying inside and nothing happening.
Avoidance is fear's most loyal ally. Returning home begins not by ignoring the fear, but by taking small steps together with it.
Realities in Turkey That Make Returning Home Harder
After the 6 February 2023 earthquakes, many families lived for weeks or even months in containers, tents, vehicles, or with relatives in other cities. Outside the earthquake zone too, after tremors felt in Istanbul, Izmir or other cities, we know that people spent the night in parks.
Some everyday realities that make returning home harder are:
- Different speeds within the family: One partner may be ready to go back home while the other is not. A mother-in-law or an elderly parent may either flatly refuse to go inside or, on the contrary, push the others by saying "there's nothing to be afraid of".
- Winter and weather conditions: Staying in a vehicle or tent in the cold strains physical health and increases sleeplessness; this creates a vicious circle that feeds anxiety.
- Work and school: Children's school routines and adults' commuting can become impossible to sustain in an uncertain, temporary way of life.
- The burden of being a guest: Staying for a long time in a relative's home is tiring for both guest and host, and can create tension.
These realities take returning home beyond being merely an individual fear; they affect all the balances of the family and daily life.
Practical Suggestions for Returning Home Step by Step
Trying to return home all at once is often overwhelming. A gradual plan, by contrast, gives the fear time to subside.
First, get the information clear
Find out the result of the official damage assessment for your building. If there is uncertainty, try to get information from the relevant authorities or from an engineer. Acting on verified information rather than rumours is the first and most important step.
Prepare a list of steps
Make a list ordered from the least frightening step to the most frightening. For example:
- Standing in front of the building entrance for a few minutes during the day
- Going into the flat with someone close to you and staying for ten minutes
- Sitting down inside, brewing a pot of tea and drinking it
- Spending half an hour at home during the day with the door closed
- Eating dinner at home
- Taking a short nap at home during the day
- Spending the first night at home together with a family member
At each step your anxiety will rise a little; this is to be expected. It helps to stay on a step and repeat it several times until the anxiety has clearly decreased before moving on to the next one.
Let us say a retired man who is struggling to return to his third-floor flat goes only as far as the building entrance with his daughter on the first day and turns back after five minutes. The next day he goes into the flat but does not take off his coat. A few days later he can sit on the balcony and drink tea, and a week later he switches on the television and watches the news at home for the first time. This progress is not a straight line; one evening, after a slight aftershock, he slips back two steps. But because he knows that slipping back is not failure but a natural part of the process, he starts again from the same step. Returning home often looks exactly like this: two steps forward, one step back.
During this process, try not to compare yourself with others. The fact that your neighbour went back home on the second day does not mean that your needing longer is a weakness.
Take the tools that calm your body with you
While working through the steps, techniques such as breathing out slowly, feeling your feet on the ground and counting five objects around you bring a body in alarm mode back to the present. Our article on grounding techniques contains practical exercises for this.
Make the home familiar again
When you go back, set aside time for small things that make the home "yours" again: opening the curtains, playing music you love, smelling a familiar dish cooking at home once more. Sensory familiarity reminds the brain that the home is not only a place of danger.
Make your safety plan visible
Reasonable precautions such as an emergency bag by the door, secured cupboards in the rooms, and a torch and shoes beside the bed at night support the feeling "I know what to do if something happens". But try to keep these precautions limited; habits such as leaving the door open every night or sleeping fully dressed can keep the fear alive in the long run.
Respect the different speeds within the family
Accept that not everyone will be ready at the same time. When someone who is ready pushes the others, or someone who is not ready keeps the others outside, tension arises. Making a shared plan and giving each person room to progress through their own steps reduces conflict within the family. For children, the adult's calm is the most important guide; children often read both fear and safety on your face.
Give yourself time, but not unlimited time
Returning home may take a few days or a few weeks. But saying "I'll go back when I feel ready" without any plan often results in the feeling of readiness never arriving. Because as long as avoidance continues, fear does not fade; on the contrary, it grows stronger. Small but regular steps are more effective than waiting.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Finding it hard to return home after an earthquake is very common, and most people recover over time with their own resources. In the following situations, however, professional support may be helpful:
- Your building has been found safe, yet weeks or months later you still cannot go inside
- You experience intense, panic-attack-like reactions when you approach your home
- Nightmares, feeling as if you are reliving the earthquake and a constant state of alertness accompany the fear
- Avoidance is seriously affecting your work, your children's schooling or your family relationships
- Hopelessness, lack of motivation or thoughts of harming yourself have appeared
In emergencies, such as thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, call 112 (emergency services) without delay. For more information about intense symptoms that persist months after an earthquake, see our article on post-traumatic stress disorder. Support for working with fear and panic after an earthquake is available in the area of anxiety and panic, face to face or online.
How Is Returning Home After an Earthquake Addressed in Therapy?
In therapy the process usually begins with stabilisation work that helps the person feel safe again. Bringing sleep, eating and daily routine back into some kind of order creates the foundation needed to work with fear.
In the psychoeducation stage, how fear is learned and how avoidance keeps it going are discussed in plain language. For many people, even the idea "I'm not losing my mind; my brain is trying to protect me" brings significant relief.
Gradual exposure is one of the core methods cognitive behavioural therapy uses when working with fear and avoidance. The list of steps described above is prepared in detail in therapy together with the person, according to their pace and limits. After each step, what the person expected is compared with what they experienced; in this way thoughts such as "If I go in, I won't be able to bear it" are tested through experience.
Trauma-focused work, for people who experienced the earthquake directly, lost loved ones or were rescued from rubble, involves working with the memories of that moment in a safe setting and at the person's own pace. This work aims to reduce the extent to which the memory controls present-day life.
Working with the family, especially in families with children, addresses how the plan for returning home will be shared among family members and how to stay alongside children in their fears. In work with children, play offers an important space where the child can express what they have been through without having to put it into words.
Frequently Asked Questions
Isn't it sensible to stay out of the house while aftershocks continue?
Official assessments and the authorities' recommendations are the basic yardstick here. If the building is damaged or at risk, staying outside is the right decision. If the building has been found safe, continuing aftershocks alone may not be a reason never to go inside; in that case it is more workable to return gradually while taking safety precautions.
How long is it normal to stay outside?
There is no single length of time that fits everyone. Finding it hard to go inside during the first days and weeks is an expected reaction. However, if the building is safe and weeks have passed with no progress at all, or if the fear is increasing, it is worth considering support.
Is it a problem to sleep with the door open?
For a short period this can help you feel safe. But if the behaviour continues for a long time, it keeps sending your brain the message "the danger is still here". Over time you can loosen this habit through small steps, such as leaving the door ajar and then closing it.
Someone in my family refuses to go back home. How can I help them?
First, try to listen without pushing; ask what frightens them most. Agreeing together on a small first step, such as going into the home together during the day and sitting for a while, is far more effective than trying to persuade them. If the resistance persists for a long time, support from a professional can lighten the load for both them and the family.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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