Big-City Stress and the Move Back to Anatolia: The Psychology of Reverse Migration

Is big-city stress making you think of a smaller town? Read about the emotional side of reverse migration, expectations and practical tips for settling in.

Hours lost in traffic, high rents, crowds, noise and a never-ending rush to keep up... Big-city stress has in recent years brought many people face to face with the question, "Should I move back home, or to a smaller city?" Moving from cities like Istanbul, Ankara or Izmir to the calmer cities of Anatolia looks, on paper, like the door to a peaceful life. But this change also brings with it many feelings about identity, career, family relationships and expectations. In this article we look at the psychology of reverse migration, what can be experienced at the decision and adjustment stages, and ways of managing this transition in a healthier way.

What Is Big-City Stress and How Does It Feel?

Big-city stress is a state of tiredness linked to the constant load of stimulation, time pressure and uncertainty that comes with living in crowded metropolises. It is not a diagnosis but an experience many people recognise in daily life.

This stress generally shows itself in the following ways:

• Feeling tired even before leaving the house in the morning,
• Frequently becoming tense and angry in traffic or on public transport,
• A constant rush to get somewhere and a feeling that there is never enough time,
• Feeling mentally "full" because of noise and crowds,
• Spending weekends on work and responsibilities instead of resting,
• A longing for nature, quiet and a slower life,
• Worry about rent and making ends meet constantly occupying the mind.

The opportunities a big city offers are of course real: job opportunities, cultural events, health and education facilities. But for some people the price of these opportunities can grow heavier over time. You can find the effects of city life on mental health discussed more broadly in our article on city stress.

What Is Reverse Migration and Why Is It Being Talked About?

Reverse migration refers to movement from big cities towards smaller cities, districts or villages. For many years in Turkey, migration was mostly from Anatolia towards big cities. Recently we see that a movement in the opposite direction is also being talked about frequently, for a range of reasons.

The main factors feeding this trend are:

• The cost of living and rent increases: The cost of living in a big city is steering some families towards cities with more affordable conditions.
• Remote and hybrid working: Some employees who can do their work at a computer are able to choose where they live independently of their jobs.
• Earthquake anxiety: After the 6 February 2023 earthquakes, worry about a possible earthquake has strengthened the idea of relocating for some people, especially those living in Istanbul.
• Closeness to family: Being near ageing parents and wanting children to grow up with their grandparents can be an important motivation.
• A search for a calmer life: The wish for a life closer to nature, slower and more meaningful is voiced more and more.

Each of these reasons is understandable and legitimate. However, when the decision to move back is based only on "escaping the big city", some disappointments can arise.

What Feelings Arise When Fleeing Big-City Stress?

The idea of moving back to a smaller city or to one's hometown usually brings contradictory feelings together.

Relief and hope

In the first stage the most noticeable feeling is relief. The thought of less traffic, more affordable rent, more free time and nature brings hope.

The feeling of "Am I taking a step back?"

In Turkey, going to the big city has long been associated with success, and returning to one's hometown has sometimes been associated with "failing to hold on". For this reason some people may privately experience the decision to return as a defeat. This thought has more to do with social judgements than with the decision itself.

Career anxiety

In smaller cities, job options, professional networks and career steps can be limited. The question "Will I fall behind in my profession?" is common, especially among young professionals.

Belonging and estrangement

Someone who has lived in a big city for years may feel more of a stranger than expected in the hometown they return to. Old friends have gone elsewhere, the city has changed and the person has changed too. This can lead to a feeling of being "neither here nor there".

The reshaping of family relationships

Being close to family can be as challenging as it is lovely. Issues of privacy, boundaries and independence can come up again within the extended family. An adult who has built their own life for years may feel as though they are falling back into the position of a "child" near their parents.

Leaving a place can be easy; the real work is deciding who you want to be in the new place.

Is Small-City Life Really Less Stressful?

There is no single answer to this question. In smaller cities, traffic, crowds and some costs may be lower; this reduces certain sources of big-city stress. But small-city life has its own particular difficulties:

• Social visibility: In environments where everyone knows everyone, concerns about privacy and "what will people say" can be more pronounced.
• Limited facilities: Healthcare in some specialist fields, cultural events or varied activities for children may be fewer.
• Work and income: For someone who does not work remotely, finding suitable work can take time.
• A different rhythm of life: For someone used to a fast pace, a slow rhythm may at first bring peace, but over time it can create boredom or restlessness.

Is the problem the city, or the way of life?

Sometimes part of the tiredness we call big-city stress is related not directly to the city but to the way of life. Long working hours, work messages that do not stop outside office hours, difficulty setting boundaries, inadequate sleep and never making time for rest can wear a person down wherever they live. In this case, although moving may bring short-term relief, if the same habits continue in the new place, similar tiredness can return.

It can help to ask yourself these questions: What are the three things that tire you most in the big city? Which of them are specific to that city, and which are related to your work arrangements or personal habits? Is there something you could change where you live? For example, moving to a neighbourhood closer to work, working remotely a few days a week or truly setting weekends aside for rest can make a big difference for some people. The answers to these questions let you make the reverse migration decision more consciously. If you have had a deep sense of exhaustion for a long time, it is also important to consider whether it could be a sign of burnout.

What matters here is not to look for a place that will remove stress entirely, but to identify which sources of stress you can cope with more comfortably. Every way of life has its own difficulties; the real question is which one suits your values and needs better.

Preparing for Reverse Migration: Questions to Ask Yourself and Practical Tips

The suggestions below may be useful at the decision stage and in the first months after the move.

Before deciding

1. Clarify why you want to go back. Do you want to move away from something, or towards something? Both can be valid, but knowing which weighs more makes your expectations realistic.
2. Plan a trial period. If possible, spend a few weeks in the place you would move to before moving. Not in a holiday mood, but living an ordinary day-to-day life.
3. Make the financial plan concrete. Calculating income, rent, transport and children's education costs in advance reduces anxiety later.
4. Talk about expectations with family. Living close to family calls for open communication about boundaries. It helps to talk in advance about things like how often visits will happen, childcare and involvement in decisions.
5. Hear the voice of your partner and children. Assess together how the decision will affect all family members.
6. Think about the option of returning. Knowing that the decision is not absolute and irreversible reduces the pressure on you. For some people, planning a transition period without cutting off ties, home or job options in the big city completely can be more reassuring.
7. Tell social judgements apart. It is natural to hear comments from those around you such as "What will you do there?" or "Has all that effort gone to waste?"; but try to make your decision more according to your own priorities than these comments.

After moving

• Build yourself a new routine. The gap left by the pace of the big city can be filled meaningfully with regular activities.
• Form new social ties. Instead of depending only on the family circle, look for groups, associations or volunteer work that match your own interests.
• Maintain your professional ties. Stay in touch with your career network through online training, remote projects or professional communities.
• Beware of the trap of comparison. The thought "If I were in Istanbul it would be like this" comes from time to time. Notice these thoughts, but also try to see what the new life offers.
• Notice small pleasures. Small gains such as walking to work, eating dinner with family and being able to see the sky can increase motivation during the adjustment process.

Suppose a software developer who spent years in Istanbul returns to their hometown in Anatolia once remote work becomes possible. Although the first months are peaceful, over time they feel the loneliness of being unable to meet colleagues face to face and of not finding people with similar interests in the city. When they begin joining a weekly sports group, attending professional events in Istanbul every few months and building a few new ties in the city, they are able to build a more balanced life. This fictional example is a reminder that reverse migration is not an "end point" but an order that is rebuilt.

For the general stages of adjusting to a new city, you can also read our article on changing cities.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

The move from a big city to a smaller one, or the process of being undecided about it, can be challenging at times. It can be helpful to get support from a specialist in the following situations:

• If big-city stress noticeably affects your sleep, appetite and general health,
• If being unable to decide has gone on for months and leaves you exhausted,
• If you experience intense regret, loneliness or low mood after moving,
• If you are in constant conflict over boundaries in family relationships,
• If you have started to see yourself as a "failure" and this thought affects your mood.

These symptoms alone do not amount to a diagnosis. But talking about what you are going through with a specialist can help you see the situation more clearly. If feelings of hopelessness turn into thoughts of harming yourself, call 112 (emergency services) without delay.

How Are Big-City Stress and Reverse Migration Addressed in Therapy?

Therapy does not decide where you should live; but it can help you make the decision on healthier ground and make it easier to adjust to your new life.

In the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) approach, thought patterns that increase stress and beliefs that make the decision harder are examined together. For example, how realistic thoughts such as "If I go back home I'll be seen as a failure" or "My life will be wasted in a small city" are is assessed. To cope with big-city stress, skills such as stress management, relaxation and time planning can be worked on.

The decision of reverse migration is sometimes also linked to the expectations of the family, the pressure to "succeed" or the way a person feels valued. In this case, understanding beliefs and schemas learned early in life can help the person make their decisions more freely.

Both at the decision stage and after the move, individual therapy can be continued face to face or online. Online sessions can make sure therapy is not interrupted during the process of relocating.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does big-city stress really affect mental health?

Constant crowds, noise, time pressure and financial worries can contribute to tiredness, tension and sleep problems in some people. However, not everyone experiences these effects in the same way; a person's coping skills and social support play an important role.

Is moving back to your hometown a failure?

No. Deciding where to live is making a choice that suits your own values and needs. Defining success only as being in a big city is a social judgement and does not apply to everyone.

What should I do if I regret it after moving to a small city?

Feelings of regret are common, especially in the first months, and are often part of the adjustment process. Give yourself time, try to form new social ties and, if necessary, do not hesitate to reconsider your decision. No decision is absolutely irreversible.

How does reverse migration affect children?

A calmer environment and closeness to family can be positive for children; but changing school and friends also requires a period of adjustment. Telling children about the move in advance, listening to their feelings and exploring the new surroundings together make the process easier.

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• #big city
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• #stress
• #life change

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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