Child psychologist abroad options for Turkish families: signs a child may need support, when mother-tongue help is useful, and what parents can do at home.
An email arrives from school: the teacher writes that your child is very quiet in class, or that they often get into fights with classmates. Perhaps your child has been having nightmares for a while, waking up with stomach aches in the mornings, or not wanting to go to school. In a moment like this, many Turkish parents living abroad face the same question: Who should I turn to? Can the school psychologist understand my child? Can I describe my worries properly in a foreign language? For families searching online for a "child psychologist abroad", what they need is often not just a name but a guiding perspective. In this article we look at which signs in children growing up abroad call for attention, what options exist, when support in the mother tongue can be helpful, and what you can do at home.
Children Growing Up Abroad and the Search for a Child Psychologist Abroad
Children growing up abroad often live between two worlds. At home Turkish is spoken, Bayram is celebrated, and video calls are made to grandparents in Turkey. At school there is another language, other rules and other ways of making friends. Many children move between these two worlds with surprising flexibility. But sometimes these transitions can be hard.
With migration, children experience losses too: they leave behind their friends in Turkey, their relatives, the home they were used to, their school and their streets. A child who moves to a new country has to learn a new language and make new friends. Children born abroad may face other difficulties: questions of identity such as "Am I Turkish, German or Dutch?", teasing they may be exposed to because of their names or appearance, and differences between the family's values and the school's values.
Not all of these experiences naturally create a problem. Children usually adapt to these changes in a supportive family environment. But sometimes the difficulties go beyond the child's own coping resources and a professional assessment may be needed.
Signs That Your Child Needs Support
Every child gets cranky, cries, gets frightened or does not want to go to school from time to time. What matters is how often, how intensely and for how long these behaviours continue. If several of the following signs have lasted for weeks, you may consider consulting a specialist:
Emotional signs:
- Long-lasting sadness, unhappiness or frequent crying.
- Intense anxiety, excessive worry, separation fears.
- Frequent angry outbursts and more irritability than expected for their age.
- Self-devaluing statements such as "Nobody loves me" or "I'm bad".
Behavioural signs:
- Refusing to go to school, or frequent stomach and headaches on school mornings.
- Withdrawing from friends, preferring to play alone.
- An increase in aggressive behaviour.
- Going back to behaviours typical of younger ages, such as bedwetting or thumb-sucking.
- Marked changes in sleeping and eating patterns.
School and social signs:
- A sudden drop in school performance.
- Feedback from teachers about attention, behaviour or adjustment problems.
- Telling you they are being bullied or excluded.
These signs alone do not amount to a diagnosis. But they may mean that your child cannot put into words what they are going through and is trying to tell you through behaviour. You can also read our article on when to take a child to a child psychologist for a general roadmap.
Points to Note for Bilingual Children
Some situations in bilingual children can be misinterpreted. A child who has just started school staying silent in the second language for a while, or mixing the two languages, is often a natural process. On the other hand, some genuine developmental problems can be missed with the remark "It's because they're bilingual". If you have concerns about speech development, an assessment by a speech and language therapist or a paediatrician is important.
What Turkish Children Abroad Struggle With, and the Cultural Context
Adjustment and Loss
Moving to a new country is a kind of grieving process for a child. The child may miss what they left behind, but cannot always put this into words. Sometimes anger, sometimes withdrawal, and sometimes physical complaints can be the language of this grief.
Searching for Identity
Especially at school age and approaching adolescence, children grapple more with the question "Who am I?" They may be caught between wanting to be like their friends and staying loyal to their family's values. Refusing to speak Turkish, not wanting to take Turkish food to school or being embarrassed by Bayram can be signs of this search.
Discrimination and Bullying
Some children may experience mockery or exclusion because of their names, languages, religion or appearance. Children may hesitate to tell their families about these experiences, because they do not want to upset them or to be a "troublemaking" child.
Parents' Stress
Parental stress during the migration process is reflected in children. Uncertainty about residence status, financial worries, tension between parents or homesickness can make it harder for a child to feel safe. Children sense their parents' anxiety intuitively and sometimes react to it through their own behaviour.
The "Child Interpreter" Role
Children who know the language better than their parents may act as interpreters at school meetings, doctor appointments or in official correspondence. This can place a responsibility on the child above their age and blur roles within the family.
A child's behaviour is a message; to understand that message, you first need to understand which world the child lives in.
Child Psychologist Abroad Options: Local Support and Support in the Mother Tongue
In the country where you live there are different sources of support for children: school psychologists or school social workers, paediatricians, family counselling centres, child and adolescent mental health units. These services know your child's school life and the system and language of the country where you live. Especially for school-related problems, developmental assessments and emergencies, local services are the most important resource.
Support in the mother tongue can be a complementary option in some cases:
- When parents want to describe their own worries, family history and cultural values in Turkish.
- When the child expresses their feelings more easily in Turkish, or Turkish is the dominant language at home.
- Not having to explain the context on family matters (relationships with grandparents, Bayram, religious and cultural values, visits to Turkey).
- Working on strategies that can be applied at home through parent counselling.
An important note should be made here: online sessions are generally more suitable for school-age children, adolescents and parent counselling. For play-based work with young children, a face-to-face setting is often preferred. For this reason, online work with young children is frequently carried out through sessions with the parents. Which route is suitable is decided at the first session by assessing the child's age, the nature of the problem and the family's circumstances together.
Imagine a family living in Belgium who noticed that their nine-year-old child was constantly anxious at school. They talked to the school psychologist and some adjustments were made at school. But the mother felt that she had difficulty describing the picture at home and her own worries in French. In this case, while school support continues, the mother and father talking in Turkish parent sessions about what they can do at home can act as a bridge linking the two kinds of support. In other words, among child psychologist abroad options you do not have to choose one; often using different resources together is more helpful.
What You Can Do at Home: Concrete Steps for Parents
Open a Safe Space for Feelings
Set aside a few minutes every day just for your child. Put phones aside, play a game they choose, or simply sit together. Open-ended questions such as "What made you happiest today, and what made you sad?" can help the child open up.
Name the Feelings
Sentences such as "You must have been really upset when your friends didn't let you join the game" help the child recognise their feeling and feel understood. Before trying to fix the feeling straight away or belittling it, it is important to see it.
Embrace Both Cultures Together
Your child's interest in the culture of the country where they live does not mean they are losing their Turkish identity. Celebrating both the festivals at school and the festivals at home gives the child the message "Both of your worlds are valuable".
Work with the School
Keep in regular contact with the teachers. If you have difficulty with the language, it is possible to request an interpreter or get help from an adult you trust. Avoid using your child as an interpreter as far as possible.
Keep Routines
Regular sleeping, eating and playing times give the child a sense of security. Especially in periods of moving, a new school or change in the family, routines are like a branch the child holds on to.
Look After Your Own Stress Too
A parent taking good care of themselves is one of the most important investments you can make in a child. Do not neglect your own anxiety, tiredness and loneliness. Getting support sets a good example for your child.
Watch for Signs of Bullying
If your child avoids talking about school, their belongings often go missing, or they are constantly unwell on school mornings, ask calmly what they are going through. Listen without blaming them and, if necessary, contact the school.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
We recommend consulting a specialist in the following situations:
- The signs above have been going on for more than a few weeks and are gradually increasing.
- Your child's school life, friendships or harmony within the family are noticeably affected.
- Your child has experienced bullying, discrimination or another traumatic event.
- There has been a divorce, a loss or an important change in the family and your child is struggling with it.
- You have concerns about speech, language or development.
- As a parent, you feel you do not know what to do and you are exhausted.
When there are developmental concerns or speech delay, the first step should be to consult a paediatrician or speech and language therapist in the country where you live. For physical complaints too, it is important to have a medical assessment first.
If your child talks about harming themselves, if you have noticed them harming themselves, or if their safety is at risk, call the emergency number of the country you are in straight away: 112 in EU countries, 911 in the US and Canada, 999 or 112 in the UK, 000 in Australia. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service; in these situations local emergency services and local child and adolescent psychiatric services are necessary.
How Does Online Therapy in Your Mother Tongue Work?
One of the most important advantages of working in the mother tongue is that parents can describe their worries, family history and cultural values without needing translation. When describing a dilemma such as "My mother-in-law wants us to speak Turkish to the child, but the school suggests we speak the local language at home too", it can make the process easier if the person in front of you understands both sides. For general information aimed at families living abroad, you can look at our page for Turks living abroad.
The work generally proceeds through these steps:
- First session: The child's developmental history, the migration process, the school situation, the family structure and worries are discussed in detail with the parents.
- Assessment: Sessions with the child or adolescent are planned according to their age and the problem. If necessary, referral is made to local specialists (paediatrician, speech and language therapist, child psychiatrist).
- Parent counselling: Strategies to apply at home, boundary-setting, emotion coaching and communication skills are worked on.
- Cognitive behavioural techniques: Age-appropriate work on thoughts and behaviour is done for anxiety, anger or adjustment problems in school-age children and adolescents.
- Play and drawing: Where appropriate, play and drawing activities can be used to help the child express their feelings.
For more information on work with children, you can look at the child and play therapy page.
For online sessions, a quiet and private room where the child can be comfortable, a secure internet connection and good sound quality are important. Taking the time difference into account, a time that suits the child's school and sleep routine should be chosen. Payments can be made online; pricing in TL and payment by international card are possible. You should check the insurance terms in the country where you live for insurance reimbursement.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should the child psychologist be local or Turkish-speaking?
There is no single right answer. For school-related problems, developmental assessments and emergencies, local specialists are important. Support in the mother tongue can be complementary when parents need to express themselves, or when the child needs to describe their feelings more easily in Turkish. The two can also be used together.
Can online therapy be done with young children?
For play-based work with young children, a face-to-face setting is often preferred. Online work with this age group is usually carried out as parent counselling. With school-age children and adolescents, online sessions may be more suitable.
What if my child does not speak Turkish well?
In this case, we assess in which language the child expresses themselves more comfortably. While parent sessions can be held in Turkish, it may be more suitable to work with a local specialist depending on the child's language situation.
Will my child be stigmatised if I take them to a psychologist?
Seeking psychological support does not mean your child has a "disorder". Many children grow stronger through short-term support in a difficult period. Sessions are conducted in line with the principle of confidentiality.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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