What is culture shock, what are its symptoms and how does it pass? Read practical ways for Turks moving abroad to cope with culture shock and settle in.
The first days in a new country are often full of excitement. Then one morning you notice that you are reacting far more strongly than you expected to a cashier's cold manner at the supermarket, to a neighbour who did not return your greeting, or to being turned away from a government office for the third time. Tiredness builds inside you, along with a sense of hurt and perhaps the question, "Why did I come here?" Culture shock is the whole set of emotional, mental and physical reactions you may experience when you move from the cultural environment you are used to into a different one. In this article we look at what culture shock is, its symptoms, why it appears, how it affects the family, and the concrete steps you can take to cope with it.
What Is Culture Shock?
Culture shock is an adjustment reaction that appears when the social cues, rules and patterns of behaviour a person is used to suddenly stop working. In your own country you know, without thinking, how to talk to a shopkeeper, when to visit someone, how close to stand to a person, and how to voice a complaint. In a new culture, most of this "automatic knowledge" is of little use. Every small interaction demands attention and effort.
This reaction is not an illness or a diagnosis. It is a natural part of adapting to a new environment. However, when it is intense or lasts a long time, it can pave the way for more serious problems such as anxiety, low mood and loneliness.
Culture shock is not only experienced by people who move to distant, very different countries. Someone who moves to a European country that is geographically close to Turkey, or who settles in a city they have holidayed in for years, can feel similar things. Seeing a place as a tourist is very different from paying bills there, enrolling your child in school and going to hospital. The difficulty often shows up precisely within these everyday tasks.
This jolt usually comes at a particular stage of post-migration adjustment, after the honeymoon period. We covered these stages in detail in our article on the stages of adjustment after migration.
What Are the Symptoms of Culture Shock?
This experience looks different from person to person. Common symptoms include:
Emotional symptoms
- A constant feeling of sadness, emptiness or loneliness
- Irritability, impatience and overreacting to small events
- Homesickness and idealising the past
- Anxiety and restlessness in the face of uncertainty
- Shame and a sense of inadequacy, especially about language
Cognitive symptoms
- Generalisations such as "People here are so cold" or "Nothing works properly here"
- Thoughts such as "I don't belong here" or "I will never get used to it"
- Poor concentration and difficulty making decisions
- Constantly comparing life in Turkey with the new life
Behavioural symptoms
- Not wanting to leave the house and avoiding social settings
- Mixing only with a Turkish circle, or staying completely alone
- Watching Turkish TV series for hours and constantly following Turkish news
- Putting language courses or job applications on hold
- Changes in eating, sleeping or drinking habits
Physical symptoms
- Sleep problems
- Constant fatigue and low energy
- Headaches and stomach and bowel complaints
- A sense of falling ill frequently
These symptoms on their own do not amount to a diagnosis. However, symptoms that last longer than a few weeks and clearly affect your daily life may be a reason to speak to a professional.
Culture shock is the exhaustion of a mind trying to relearn everything in a new environment; it is a sign not of weakness but of the effort to adapt.
Why Does This Reaction Happen? The Role of Cultural Context
At the root of this reaction is the loss of the sense of "knowing how to behave". Several factors feed it:
Changing social cues. In Turkey, a warm greeting, a wish to chat and an expectation of closeness are often natural. In some countries people can be more reserved, more planned and less spontaneous. This difference can lead to interpretations such as "They don't like me" or "Nobody cares about anybody here". Yet this may simply be that culture's style of communication.
Time and rules. Dropping in on a neighbour without an appointment, last-minute plans, or the "we'll sort it out somehow" approach give way in many countries to strict appointment systems, long bureaucratic procedures and rules. This can increase the feeling of losing control.
Family and community structure. In Turkish culture, family, relatives and neighbours are at the centre of daily life. In a new country, the absence of this support network can create a deep void. At important moments such as religious holidays, weddings and funerals, that void becomes even more noticeable.
Language. Language is not only a means of communication but also a domain in which a person feels competent. Someone who is witty, fluent and persuasive in Turkey can feel like a child in a new language. This can seriously shake self-confidence.
Values and norms. Differences in gender roles, religion, parenting styles, attitudes to privacy and individualism can lead a person to question their own values or to feel the need to defend them.
Discrimination and prejudice. Some people may face exclusion or prejudice in the new country. These experiences can deepen the jolt of the adjustment process and reduce a person's trust in the new society.
The Impact of Adjustment on Family, Relationships and Children
Although culture shock seems like an individual experience, it affects the whole family.
Different speeds between partners. Say a couple moves to Sweden because one partner has received a job offer. The working partner quickly builds a routine at work and meets new people. The partner at home is alone in a city whose language they do not speak, through long, dark winter days. One may say "Everything is fine" while the other feels "I am getting lost here." When this difference is not understood, conflicts and resentments can grow.
Culture shock in children. Children experience this jolt too, but they may not be able to express it the way adults do. You may see reluctance to go to school, stomach aches, sleep problems, tantrums, withdrawal, or a return to behaviours from an earlier developmental stage (for example bedwetting). Children usually learn the language faster, but that does not mean their emotional adjustment is equally fast.
Identity questions in teenagers. Teenagers try to cope at the same time with the identity questions brought by adolescence and those brought by a change of culture. They can feel caught between the values of their family and the values of their friends at school.
Relationship with family in Turkey. Family back in Turkey often idealises life abroad. The expectation that "everything is wonderful over there" can make it harder for you to say that you are struggling. This increases loneliness.
Ways of Coping with Culture Shock: What You Can Do on Your Own
It may not be possible to avoid this process entirely, but there are many steps you can take to reduce its impact and make adjustment easier.
- Name what you are going through. Saying "I am experiencing culture shock right now, and it is part of adjusting" instead of "Something is wrong with me" helps you be kinder to yourself. Even recognising your symptoms can be a relief.
- Observe with curiosity. Instead of judging behaviour in the new culture straight away, ask, "What might be the reason for this?" For example, wondering why people do not visit without an appointment is more useful than labelling them "cold". If possible, ask a local acquaintance about these things openly.
- Find a cultural guide. A Turkish person who has lived in the new country for a few years, or a friend from that country, can help you understand the social rules. You can comfortably ask this person, "What do people do in this situation here?"
- Build daily routines. A morning walk, meals at set times, a weekly course or sport... Routines give the mind a safe footing in the midst of uncertainty.
- See learning the language as an adult project. Instead of expecting to speak perfectly, take small but regular steps every day. Accept making mistakes as a natural part of learning. Finding a language exchange partner contributes to both language development and social connections.
- Create rituals that give you a sense of "home". A Sunday breakfast, tea time, Turkish music, festive holiday tables... These rituals help you preserve a part of your identity. Try also adding a habit you like from the new culture to your life.
- Look after your body. Especially in northern countries, reduced sunlight in winter can affect energy and mood. Try to get daylight, move regularly and protect your sleep hours.
- Balance your tie with Turkey. Keeping in regular contact with your family is important; but spending most of your day following the news from Turkey can make it harder to invest in your life here. Try limiting news to a set amount of time each day.
- Record your achievements. At the end of each week, write down three things you achieved that week: sorting out an official matter on your own, chatting with a neighbour, learning a new word... Confidence grows as small steps are noticed.
- Share your feelings. Talk about the difficulties you are facing with someone you trust. You do not have to keep up the image that "everything is wonderful".
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
These difficulties often ease over time. However, speaking to a professional can be helpful in the following situations:
- If your symptoms have lasted for several months without easing, or have even grown
- If you experience intense sadness, hopelessness or an inability to enjoy anything almost every day
- If anxiety, panic attacks or constant tension restrict your daily life
- If you have marked difficulty leaving the house or going to work or school
- If there are marked changes in your sleep and appetite
- If conflicts with your partner or children are steadily increasing
- If you have started to turn to alcohol or other substances
Emergencies: If you have thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, call the emergency number of the country you are in straight away: 112 in EU countries, 911 in the USA and Canada, 999 or 112 in the UK, and 000 in Australia. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service; in situations of severe risk, local emergency services and local psychiatric services are necessary.
How Is This Process Addressed in Mother-Tongue Online Therapy?
While you are going through adjustment difficulties, describing your feelings in a new language can be an extra burden. Online therapy can offer a space in which you can speak in your own language during this period. For details aimed at those living abroad, you can look at our page on Turkish-language therapy for Turks living abroad.
In therapy, this process is usually approached as follows:
Normalising the experience. We talk about how the feelings you are having may be part of the adjustment process. This reduces self-blame.
Examining thoughts. Using a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach, thoughts such as "Nobody wants me here" or "I will never adapt" are explored. Together we look at the situations in which these thoughts appear, what evidence they rest on, and what alternative explanations are possible. For example, a neighbour not saying hello can be read not as "She doesn't like Turks" but as "Perhaps neighbours here simply don't greet each other much"; or, if there really is prejudice, we talk about how to deal with it.
Breaking the avoidance cycle. During adjustment, the more a person avoids difficult situations, the more anxiety and loneliness can grow. In therapy, small, achievable steps are planned: enrolling in a course, attending a parents' meeting, introducing yourself to a neighbour.
Acknowledging losses. We talk about feelings of grief for the family, friends, profession and habits left behind.
Work on identity and values. We reflect on which of your values you want to keep, what you can adopt from the new culture, and how you can make a place for yourself between the two cultures.
Session times are planned around the time difference; a quiet, private setting and the use of headphones are recommended. Payments can be made online; pricing in Turkish lira and payment by international card are both possible.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does this period last?
Culture shock has no fixed duration. For some people it lasts a few weeks, for others it can continue for months. Language proficiency, social support, work or school circumstances and the conditions of the migration all affect how long it lasts.
What is the difference between adjustment difficulties and depression?
Culture shock is a reaction linked to adapting to a new environment and often eases over time. However, if the symptoms become more intense, last a long time and seriously affect daily functioning, it can turn into depression. Speaking to a professional is useful for making this distinction.
What can I do before moving to ease this jolt?
Learning the language, social rules and daily life of the country you are going to in advance, speaking to people who live there, and forming realistic expectations can help. Some difficulty is still natural; preparation helps you get through this period more easily.
I have lived abroad for years. Can I still experience this?
Yes. Changes such as moving to a new city, changing jobs, having a child or a child starting school can bring you face to face with new cultural situations. You may also experience "reverse culture shock" when you return to Turkey after a long time away.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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