How do you recognise depression abroad, and why is it harder to spot far from home? Read about the signs, causes and options for support in your mother tongue.
Moving abroad often begins with great hopes: a better job, a secure future, new experiences. But months or years later, some people find themselves somewhere they did not expect. Getting up in the morning becomes hard, the city that once excited you turns grey, and even saying "I'm fine" to your family in Turkey on the phone feels tiring. Depression abroad is an experience that Turks living away from home often face but frequently struggle to name. One reason is that the symptoms are taken to be the result of "getting used to things" or "the weather". Another is that asking for help seems even harder in a foreign language and a foreign system. In this article I will try to explain how depression abroad can be recognised, why it may arise far from home, how it can affect the family, and the concrete steps you can take to find support.
What Is Depression Abroad?
Depression is not just feeling sad. It is a mental health condition that affects a person's feelings, thoughts, body and daily functioning for weeks. Feeling sad in the face of life's difficulties, longing for home or feeling lonely from time to time is human. In depression, these feelings intensify, last longer and noticeably narrow a person's life. You can find the general symptoms of depression in detail in the article on symptoms of depression.
Depression abroad is not actually a different type of depression. The difference lies in the context in which it arises. Losses after migration, the language barrier, lack of social support, questions of identity and experiences of discrimination can prepare the ground for depression to develop and make it harder to recognise. Also, because a person living far from home is away from the close circle to whom they could describe their inner world, the symptoms may remain invisible for longer.
Imagine a woman in her thirties who moved to Sweden for work and had a good first year. In the middle of her second winter she began not leaving the house at weekends, leaving her friends' messages unanswered, and putting off even simple emails at work for hours. She told herself, "I'm just tired, it'll pass when spring comes." When talking to her mother she tried to sound cheerful. When spring came, she realised the heaviness was still there. As in this example, depression abroad can often be put off for months, mistaken for "a temporary phase".
What Are the Signs of Depression Abroad?
The symptoms of depression vary from person to person. If several of the following signs have lasted for at least two weeks, nearly every day, it is worth being careful:
Emotional signs
- A constant low mood, emptiness or numbness
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Irritability, impatience, crying easily
- Hopelessness and a feeling that "nothing will change"
Thinking-related signs
- Negative thoughts such as "I ruined my life by coming here" or "I can't succeed anywhere"
- Worthlessness and guilt
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
- Worry and pessimism about the future
Physical signs
- Insomnia or sleeping too much
- Loss of appetite or overeating
- Constant tiredness, low energy
- Headaches, backaches and stomach aches with no identifiable cause
Signs specific to living abroad
- Avoiding speaking the language of the country you live in, not answering the phone, putting off official correspondence
- Wearing an "everything is fine" mask in conversations with family in Turkey, and finding this increasingly heavy
- Withdrawing from social events, the Turkish community or colleagues
- Escaping reality by watching Turkish series for days or spending time on social media
- Being constantly preoccupied with the thought "should I go back?" but being unable to take any step
In Turkish culture, depression is sometimes expressed through physical complaints: "I feel tight inside", "A weight has settled on my chest", "I have no strength for anything." It may not be easy to translate these expressions to a doctor in the country where you live, and the symptoms may be assessed as only a physical problem. These symptoms alone do not amount to a diagnosis; a diagnosis can only be made through a specialist's assessment.
Why Does Depression Arise Far from Home?
Depression has no single cause; genetic predisposition, personality traits, life events and environmental factors come together. Living abroad can intensify some of these factors.
Losses and unprocessed grief
Migration involves many losses: closeness to family and friends, the sounds and smells of home, professional status, being able to express yourself comfortably in your mother tongue. These losses are often not recognised as grief; the thought "You went of your own choice" can stop a person from allowing themselves this grief.
Lack of social support
In Turkey, when you have a hard day, there is a friend you can call and a relative whose door you can knock on. Abroad, this network often has to be built from scratch. Loneliness is an important risk factor for depression; this is covered in more detail in the article on loneliness abroad.
Loss of status and uncertainty
Someone who was a doctor, engineer or teacher in Turkey may have to work in other jobs for years because their diploma is not recognised. Uncertainties such as a residence permit, visa and employment contract are also a constant source of stress.
Climate and light
In countries such as Northern Europe, Scandinavia or Canada, daylight shortens in the winter months. In some people, seasonal mood changes may be seen at this time. For someone used to Turkey's sunny climate, this change can feel more marked.
Discrimination and exclusion
Experiences of discrimination because of your accent, name or appearance can damage your sense of belonging and strengthen negative beliefs about yourself. These experiences differ in every country and every community; it would not be right to generalise, but their psychological effect is real for those who live through them.
Barriers to asking for help
Stigmatising beliefs such as "going to a psychologist means being mad", the worry of "what will people say" and the fear of being unable to describe one's feelings in a foreign language can delay seeking help. This delay can in turn deepen the depression.
The Effect of Depression on the Family, Relationships and Children
Depression affects not only the person experiencing it but everyone around them.
Between spouses: A depressed person withdraws, does not want to talk and may become impatient. Their spouse may perceive this as lack of love or indifference. In particular, for those who came abroad following their spouse, the burden of having given up their own job and surroundings can combine with depression and produce a tension in the relationship of "I'm here because of you".
With children: A depressed parent may find it hard to play with their child or show interest in schoolwork. Children notice this change and sometimes blame themselves. Saying, in language suited to their age, "Mum is feeling a bit unwell at the moment, it's not your fault, and I'm getting help to get better" can reassure children.
With family in Turkey: Hiding depression so as not to upset family far away is common. But this secrecy can leave a person alone and deprived of real support.
What You Can Do Yourself to Cope with Depression Abroad
The steps below do not replace professional support, but they can support the process of recovery.
Build a small daily structure. Depression makes days shapeless. Aim to get up at the same time every day, to eat three meals and to go outside briefly. Choose small, achievable steps rather than big goals.
Try behavioural activation. In depression, the thought "I'll feel better first, then I'll do it" leaves us inactive. Yet often the opposite works: doing something small first can then improve your mood a little. Make a list: What activities used to give you pleasure or meaning? Try doing one of them every day, even in a five- or ten-minute version.
Make use of daylight. Especially in the winter months, take care to go outside during daytime hours, sit by a window and take short walks.
Connect with one person. Aim to reach out to just one person this week: offer a colleague a coffee, call an old friend in Turkey, attend an association event. Connection is one of the strongest antidotes to depression.
Put your thoughts on paper. When a thought like "nothing is going right" comes, write it down. Then ask yourself: "What is the evidence for and against this thought? How could I express this situation in a more balanced way?" This simple exercise is one of the basic techniques of CBT.
Look after your body. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition and a sleep routine have important effects on mood. Avoid using alcohol as a way of coping; although it may bring relief in the short term, it can deepen depression in the long term.
Open up to someone in your family, even if just one person. You do not have to tell everyone. Saying "I haven't been well lately" to a sibling, cousin or friend you trust can be the first step to sharing the load.
Find out what is available in the country where you live. Your family doctor or general practitioner is an important starting point for a mental health assessment. Check how your insurance covers mental health services.
Depression is not a weakness of character or proof that you have failed to adjust to life far from home; it is a condition that can be understood and supported.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
It is recommended that you seek support from a mental health professional in the following situations:
- If the symptoms have lasted more than two weeks and affect your daily tasks
- If you have difficulty going to work, looking after your children or meeting your basic needs
- If there are marked changes in sleep and appetite
- If feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness are intense
- If you are turning to alcohol or other substances more and more
Psychotherapy has an important place in the treatment of depression. In some cases medication may also be needed; for this, an assessment by a psychiatrist in the country where you live or in Turkey is needed. The article on the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist can be a guide here.
Emergencies: If you think there is nothing left worth living for, or you are having thoughts of harming yourself or suicide, please do not wait. Call the emergency number of the country where you are: 112 in EU countries, 911 in the US and Canada, 999 or 112 in the UK, 000 in Australia. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service; in situations of serious risk, local emergency services and local psychiatric services are necessary.
How Is Depression Worked on in Online Therapy in Your Mother Tongue?
Depression is one of the times when a person can express themselves least. When energy is low and thoughts have slowed, having to speak in a second language as well can add a further burden. Therapy in your mother tongue can allow you to describe expressions such as "I feel suffocated inside" or "I have no heart for anything" without translating them, and to avoid having to explain at length the cultural context of family, life far from home and longing for the homeland. This can make it easier to build the therapeutic relationship; but it should be thought of as an option that can be used alongside, not instead of, the mental health services in the country where you live.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is one of the approaches whose effectiveness in treating depression is supported by research. The work generally includes the following steps:
- Assessment and goal setting: The severity and duration of symptoms, the migration history and current sources of support are assessed together.
- Behavioural activation: Small, measurable activities in line with the person's values are planned step by step.
- Thought records: Automatic thoughts such as "I'll never succeed here" are noticed and more balanced alternatives are developed.
- Problem solving: Concrete difficulties such as language, work, bureaucracy or social circle are broken down into small steps and addressed.
- Migration grief and identity: Space is made for what was left behind and for the experience of identity between two cultures.
- Relapse prevention: Early warning signs and strategies to use in difficult periods are identified.
Sessions can be planned according to the time difference; a quiet room, headphones and a secure connection are enough. For details, you can look at the Turks Living Abroad page.
Frequently Asked Questions
Am I depressed because I live abroad?
Migration alone is not a cause of depression; but factors such as losses, loneliness and uncertainty can increase the risk. Depression usually arises when more than one factor comes together. For this reason it can be helpful to assess your own story with a specialist.
Will my depression go away if I return to Turkey?
Some people may feel relief after returning, but this is not certain. Depression can travel with you; also, returning itself requires a new process of adjustment. It is recommended to make such big decisions not at the most intense point of depression but with support and a more balanced mind.
Should I have therapy in the country where I live or in Turkish?
Both options are valuable and they do not exclude each other. Services in the country where you live have the advantage of being linked to the local health system. Therapy in Turkish can make it easier to express your feelings in your mother tongue. For insurance and reimbursement terms, we recommend checking the conditions in the country where you are.
I feel much worse in the winter months. Is this depression?
With reduced daylight in the winter months, mood can drop markedly in some people. If the symptoms are intense and long-lasting, it is important to talk to a specialist about it. Making use of daylight, moving and keeping a regular routine can be supportive.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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