How do depression and alcohol feed each other? Learn about the cycle you fall into when you try to lift your mood with a drink, its warning signs and ways out.
You get home in the evening. The day has been heavy and your head is noisy. You open the fridge and take out a beer, or after the children are asleep you pour yourself a glass of wine. With the first sips your shoulders loosen and your thoughts slow down; it is as if someone has turned the volume down. This relief is real, and that is exactly why it is attractive. But the next morning, that turned-down volume comes back louder. This is precisely the relationship between depression and alcohol: a trade that brings relief in the short term and makes the burden heavier in the long term. In this article we will talk about the cycle that many people who try to fix their mood with drink enter without realising it, how it works and how you can get out of it. The aim is not to judge you, but to see together what causes what.
The Relationship Between Depression and Alcohol
Depression and alcohol use are frequently seen together, and the relationship between them runs in both directions.
In one direction, a person with depression may turn to alcohol to ease their emotional pain. A drink taken to fall asleep, to suppress anxiety, to forget loneliness or simply to "feel nothing for a while" gradually becomes a way of coping. This is also called an attempt at self-medication; but it is a treatment that does not work.
In the other direction, regular and heavy alcohol use can directly increase depressive symptoms. Alcohol affects the brain systems involved in regulating mood, sleep and stress. In some people who have drunk heavily for a long time, mood is seen to improve markedly some time after they stop drinking; this suggests that part of the depressive picture was caused by the alcohol itself.
It is often hard to tell which came first, and in fact it is not essential to know exactly. What matters is recognising that each one feeds the other.
Alcohol does not put out the pain; it only postpones it until the next morning and brings it back with interest.
Why Does Alcohol Relieve You First and Then Bring You Down?
The effect of alcohol is like a wave. In the first hours it has a calming effect: tension eases, shyness disappears, problems seem to have moved further away. For someone with depression, this may be a lightness they have not felt for a long time. That is why the mind records the experience as a powerful reward.
But when the wave pulls back, the picture changes:
- Sleep is disrupted: Although alcohol makes it easier to fall asleep, in the second half of the night it makes sleep broken and shallow. The person wakes in the early hours and starts the day without having rested. A tired body and mind feed depression.
- Anxiety rises the next day: Many people experience a marked restlessness, palpitations and unease the day after drinking. Questions such as "What did I say, what did I do yesterday?" are added to this.
- Guilt and shame arrive: Thoughts such as "I drank again" and "I'd promised myself" push already low self-esteem down further.
- Problems remain unsolved: Alcohol postpones thinking about a problem but does not remove it. Postponed tasks, conflicts that are not talked about and neglected responsibilities pile up.
This drop gives rise to the urge to drink again in the evening. The cycle forms like this: feeling bad, drinking, short-lived relief, feeling worse the next day, drinking again. Over time, more and more drink is needed to get the same relief, and the person begins to forget how to spend an evening without alcohol.
Signs of the Depression and Alcohol Cycle
Asking yourself the following questions honestly can help you assess your situation:
- Does my urge to drink increase when I feel low or when I am alone?
- Do I think I won't be able to sleep without a drink?
- Do I hide how much I drink from the people close to me, or play it down?
- Are the evenings when I drink more than I planned becoming more frequent?
- Do I feel noticeably more low, anxious or guilty on the days after I drink?
- Can I now only do the things I used to enjoy if there is a drink involved?
- Have problems arisen in my work, family or health because of drinking?
- Have I tried to cut down or stop but not managed it?
Answering "yes" to several of these questions may show that alcohol has become a coping tool for you. This is not a diagnosis; but it is a sign that deserves careful attention. The article on alcohol dependence, in which I discuss in more detail when alcohol use becomes a problem, may offer you an additional perspective.
Drinking Culture in Turkey and the Sadness It Hides
In our society, the relationship with alcohol has many layers. On one side there is the rakı table, long conversations and a culture of "dertleşme", pouring your heart out over drinks. In some circles it is almost a tradition for a man with troubles to go to the meyhane (a traditional tavern), drink and talk. The attitude that "A real man drinks his troubles away and tells no one" creates an environment in which emotional pain can only be expressed with a glass in hand. In this case alcohol forms not the sadness itself, but only the cover in which it is carried.
On the other side, in families where alcohol is frowned upon for moral or religious reasons, the person who drinks may have to hide it completely. For women in particular, drinking alone carries a heavy burden of shame and secrecy. Let us imagine a woman in her thirties who appears successful at work. Her family does not know she drinks; in the evenings she finishes a bottle of wine at home on her own. In the morning she goes to work and smiles at everyone, and at noon she sits at her desk with a throbbing head and an emptiness she cannot tell anyone about. Keeping the secret increases her loneliness, loneliness deepens the depression, and depression increases the urge to drink.
Alcohol use can also increase after financial hardship, unemployment, debt stress or major losses such as an earthquake. In these situations the person's pain is real; but the impression that alcohol makes this pain bearable is misleading.
The attitude of those around the person also plays a part in keeping the cycle going. Loved ones sometimes play the problem down by saying "Everyone drinks, don't exaggerate", and sometimes stigmatise the person by saying "You've become a drunk". Both reactions make it harder to talk. The person whose problem is played down sees no need to ask for help; the person who is stigmatised hides even more out of shame. What is needed, however, is to be able to talk in plain language, without judging but also without ignoring the problem.
Steps You Can Take to Cut Down on Alcohol
I want to begin with an important warning: if you have been drinking heavily every day for a long time, stopping suddenly can lead to withdrawal symptoms that may be physically dangerous. Shaking, sweating, intense restlessness or, in severe cases, more serious conditions can occur. In this case, be sure to plan cutting down or stopping under the supervision of a doctor.
For lighter or moderate use, the following steps can guide you:
Keep a record
For two weeks, note when you drink, how much, with whom and in what emotional state. This record shows which times of day and which feelings trigger the urge to drink. With this record many people notice that their drinking is tied to a particular feeling, such as loneliness or work stress.
Set alcohol-free days
Aim to spend several days a week completely without alcohol. On those days, observe how you sleep and how you feel the next morning. The difference can strengthen your motivation.
Rework the trigger time
The urge to drink usually comes at a particular time or in a particular situation: getting home from work, after the children are asleep, weekend evenings spent alone. Put a new ritual in that slot: a walk, a warm shower, a herbal tea, a phone call with a friend. Changing the ritual helps break the chain of the habit.
Keep less alcohol at home
Having a stock at home makes it easier to drink at a bad moment. Making alcohol a little harder to reach buys time for the urge to pass.
Name the feeling
When the urge to drink comes, ask yourself: "What am I actually feeling right now?" Is it tiredness, anger, loneliness, anxiety? Naming the feeling is the first step towards being able to respond to it in another way.
Go to social occasions prepared
Weddings, work dinners, meals with friends and holiday gatherings are the moments that test a decision to cut down the most. Being caught unprepared by the insistence "Have just one, it won't hurt" can lead you to take the glass even though you do not want to. Preparing a short, clear answer in advance makes it easier: "I'm not drinking at the moment; I'm taking a break for my health." Holding a non-alcoholic drink lets you take part at the table without drawing attention. If necessary, leaving early is also a legitimate option.
Don't count setbacks as losses
During the process of cutting down, there may be an evening when you drink more than you planned. This does not mean the process has failed. Instead of blaming yourself the next day, try to understand what triggered that evening: Were you tired, had you had an argument, was there pressure in the setting? Every setback carries information about what you can do next time.
Don't stay alone with it
Telling someone you trust about the situation provides both support and accountability. Even a single person who will listen to you without judgement is an important ally in breaking the cycle.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
When depression and alcohol occur together, getting professional support is particularly important, because each makes the other worse and getting out alone becomes harder. I recommend seeing a professional in the following situations:
- If you cannot control how much you drink even though you are trying to cut down
- If you cannot sleep or get through the day without alcohol
- If you experience symptoms such as shaking, sweating or intense restlessness when you stop drinking
- If feelings of low mood, hopelessness and worthlessness have lasted for weeks
- If problems with work, family or health have arisen because of drinking
Alcohol can increase impulsive behaviour and raise the risk of self-harm in a person with depression. If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, please call 112 (emergency services) without delay. You can find detailed information about these thoughts in the article on suicidal thoughts.
If alcohol use has reached a clear level of dependence, an assessment by a psychiatrist and addiction treatment centres such as AMATEM (state addiction treatment centres within public hospitals) are an important part of the process. These signs do not on their own amount to a diagnosis; the assessment is made by professionals.
How Are Depression and Alcohol Addressed Together in Therapy?
In therapy, the first step is to understand the function alcohol serves in the person's life. What does alcohol provide? Sleep, courage, forgetting, a social connection? The answers to these questions show what healthier ways might take alcohol's place.
In cognitive behavioural therapy, the situations, thoughts and feelings that trigger the urge to drink are examined together. Thoughts such as "This evening won't pass unless I have a drink" and "I can't relax without drinking" are noticed and tested. Seeing that the urge rises and falls like a wave, and learning to ride it out without trying to suppress it, is an important part of the process. At the same time the depression itself is worked on: activities that lift mood are planned, negative thinking patterns are addressed, and loneliness and loss of meaning are talked about.
In some people, alcohol is used to cover over emotional wounds from childhood or unresolved grief. In these cases, a schema therapy perspective can help in understanding the person's deep beliefs about themselves and the way they regulate their emotions.
Involving the family and the spouse in the process is also often helpful. Alcohol use usually affects not only the person who drinks but everyone in the home; trust may have been shaken and communication may have become strained. In joint sessions, it can be discussed how loved ones can support the person, which reactions feed the cycle and how they can protect their own boundaries. In this way recovery stops being a road walked alone.
Where heavy use is involved, psychotherapy alone may not be enough; it is necessary to proceed in collaboration with a psychiatrist and addiction treatment centres. You can find information about working with depressive symptoms on the depression and mood page.
Frequently Asked Questions
Isn't having a drink or two good for depression?
It may provide short-lived relaxation, but drinking regularly to lift your mood disrupts sleep quality in the long term, increases anxiety and can deepen depressive symptoms. Using alcohol as a coping tool while depressed raises the risk of falling into the cycle.
Will my depression go away once I stop drinking?
In some people mood improves markedly a few weeks after they stop drinking. In others there is a depression that is independent of alcohol and needs to be addressed separately. This distinction becomes clear through an assessment with a professional.
My spouse drinks every evening and seems very unhappy. How should I approach this?
It is more productive to raise the subject not while they are drinking but at a calm, sober moment. Instead of blaming, share your observations and concern: "You've seemed very unhappy lately and you're drinking every evening; I'm worried about you." Do not neglect protecting your own boundaries and getting support for yourself as well.
Is it dangerous to drink alcohol while taking antidepressants?
Using psychiatric medication together with alcohol can change the effect of the medicine and increase side effects. Be sure to ask the doctor who prescribed your medication about this, and do not decide on your own.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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