Being an elderly widow can bring grief, loneliness and financial dependence together. Using Çorum data, we explore the lives of women on survivors' pensions.
For a woman who has lost the husband she sat at the same table with for forty years, the first months often pass as if behind a veil of mist. The condolence visits end, relatives go back to their homes and the house falls quiet. Then other questions emerge: who will pay the bills, how are bank transactions done, whose house do we go to for the holidays, who is there to talk to in the evenings? According to the Social Security Institution's (SGK) 2025 Statistical Yearbook, 24,062 women in Çorum live on a survivor's pension left by their husband. In the same province, only 13.6 per cent of people retired in their own right are women. Read together, these two figures show that for many an elderly widow in Çorum, her livelihood depends on her husband's working life. In this article we look at the grief, loneliness and dependence behind this picture, and also at how women can find strength in this period.
Being an Elderly Widow: What Do the Numbers Say?
According to the SGK Statistical Yearbook 2025, the picture in Çorum is as follows:
- Women receiving a survivor's pension from their husband: 24,062. Across Turkey the figure is 2,731,555.
- Women's share of those receiving an old-age pension in their own right: about 13.6 per cent in Çorum, 22.4 per cent in Turkey.
- Women's share of old-age pensioners under the former SSK scheme (4A): 11.9 per cent (21.6 per cent in Turkey).
- Women's share of old-age pensioners under the civil service pension scheme (4C, formerly Emekli Sandığı): 16.4 per cent (31.0 per cent in Turkey).
These figures show that in Çorum, retirement is largely a status belonging to men. A significant proportion of women have no pension of their own. Their livelihood depends first on their husband's salary and, when he dies, on the pension he leaves behind.
The loneliness picture is also striking. According to TÜİK (Turkish Statistical Institute) data cited in a 2021 report by the Central Black Sea Development Agency (OKA), older people make up 53.4 per cent of single-person households in Çorum. On this measure Çorum ranks first in Turkey. The same report states that, as of 2020, 40,712 of the province's 73,454 older people were women. The proportion of older people who say "I am happy" is 49.7 per cent, the third lowest figure in Turkey. According to the Health Statistics Yearbook 2023, 16.6 per cent of Çorum's population is aged 65 or over (10.2 per cent in Turkey).
The Limits of the Data
Not all women receiving a survivor's pension are elderly. This category also includes women who lost their husbands at a young age. The SGK data do not give an age breakdown in this table. There is no Çorum-specific data on how many of the older people living alone are widows. The happiness and loneliness indicators date from 2019–2020. There is no provincial study on pension amounts or on how hard it is to live on them. The interpretations below are therefore consistent with the data but are inferences that have not been measured directly.
Why This Picture? A Sociological Reading
Several possible factors shape the economic and social situation of older women in Çorum.
Unregistered and unpaid work. Most women now in their seventies and eighties worked all their lives: in the fields, in the garden, at home, looking after animals, caring for children and older relatives. Yet this work was usually not recorded as insured employment. As a result, women worked but were "not counted as having worked" and did not earn a pension of their own.
A rural structure. The rural share of Çorum's population is far above the Turkish average. For older women living in the countryside, access to services and social activities is harder. Being left alone in a village after a husband's death can deepen loneliness further.
Migration and a scattered family. In Çorum, 94.4 per cent of older people live in the province where they were born. A large share of their children, however, have migrated to big cities. When the family network that traditionally looked after an elderly mother becomes geographically scattered, widows become more likely to live alone.
Women living longer. In general, women live longer than men and usually marry men older than themselves. That is why most of those who lose a spouse in old age and are left alone are women.
When these factors come together, we see that older women, after a life that depended on their husbands both financially and emotionally, experience several losses at once when their husband dies.
A Psychological Reading: Grief, Loneliness and Dependence
Losing a spouse is one of the heaviest losses a person can experience. In old age, this loss becomes intertwined with other changes.
Multiple Losses
For an elderly widow, the death of her husband is not only the loss of a person. It is also the loss of a role (wife), a routine (the morning tea they drank together), a status ("so-and-so's wife") and sometimes financial security. These multiple losses can prolong and complicate grief. For a general framework of grieving, you may also want to read our article on losing a spouse.
Financial Dependence and Worthlessness
A woman who left money matters to her husband all her life may suddenly find herself facing banks, bills and official procedures. This can create both anxiety and a sense of inadequacy. Although the survivor's pension provides security, a woman may feel that "I have nothing I've earned myself". Some women find it hard to ask their children for financial help and do not want to be "a burden".
Loneliness
Imagine a seventy-five-year-old woman living in one of Çorum's districts who continues to live alone after her husband's death. Her children are in Ankara. They talk on the phone once a week and visit at the religious holidays. During the day she sits with her neighbours, but the evenings are long and silent. The sound of the television fills the house, but not the emptiness inside her. Over time, this kind of loneliness can lead to sleep problems, loss of appetite and withdrawal.
Social Expectations and Identity
In small cities, widows may be expected to live a certain way: a quiet, restrained life, withdrawn into the home. Laughing, going out or taking up a new activity can sometimes be interpreted as "so soon after her husband". These expectations can make it harder for a woman to grieve in her own way and to take part in life again. Some women, after being known for years as "so-and-so's wife", do not know how to define themselves. For an elderly widow, this period can also be a process of rediscovering how to exist under her own name, with her own preferences.
Depression in Later Life
Akbaş and colleagues' (2020) review of social isolation and loneliness in old age lists the loss of a spouse and changes in roles among the risk factors for loneliness in later life. Long-term loneliness can increase the risk of depression. In older people, depression sometimes goes unnoticed because it is dismissed as "just old age". Fatigue, forgetfulness, physical aches and loss of interest may in fact be signs of depression. Our article on depression in later life offers detailed information on this.
A woman who loses her husband in old age loses not just a person but the order of a life that was her own. Building a new order takes time, but it is possible.
Finding Strength: A New Life After Loss
The picture is not made up of loss and loneliness alone. Many women show surprising resilience after their husband's death. Having cared for others all their lives, these women may for the first time have the chance to make their own decisions and organise their own time. Neighbourly relationships, friendships with other women, bonds with grandchildren and faith-based communities can be important sources of support in this period.
The fact that older women often take on the care of grandchildren is also part of this picture. According to TÜİK's 2016 Family Structure Survey, in 7.4 per cent of households in Turkey where daytime care of children aged 0–5 is provided, this role is carried out by the grandmother. Time spent with grandchildren can give a sense of meaning and belonging, but it can also be tiring. What matters is that this contribution is experienced not as an obligation but as a voluntary sharing.
Finding strength often starts with small steps: going to the bank alone for the first time, going for regular morning walks with a neighbour, returning to a craft put off for years. These steps may look insignificant from the outside, but they nourish the feeling of "I can still do it" and ease the effects of loneliness.
Practical Suggestions for Elderly Widows and Their Loved Ones
For women themselves:
- Give your grief time. There is no fixed timeframe for grief. Crying, talking about your husband and keeping his memory alive are healthy.
- Build a daily routine. Regular activities such as a set time for getting up, a walk, visiting a neighbour, prayer or a craft give structure to the days.
- Be open to learning about money matters. Ask a relative to help you with banking and bills, but try to learn by doing them together. This strengthens your sense of independence.
- Keep up your social ties. Continue to see your neighbours, relatives and friends. Joining women's groups, neighbourhood activities or adult education courses helps you form new connections.
- Look after your body. Regular meals, taking medication as prescribed and medical check-ups are important for both physical and mental health.
For adult children and loved ones:
- Keep in regular, predictable contact. A short video call every day may create more sense of connection than one long phone call a week.
- Don't make decisions for her. Always ask your mother's opinion before changing her home, her belongings or her way of life.
- Talk openly about money. Ask whether the survivor's pension is enough, without embarrassing her or hurting her dignity.
- Pay attention to the signs. Loss of appetite, constant tiredness, loss of interest and frequent remarks such as "I'd be better off dead" should be taken seriously.
- Ask neighbours for support. If you live far away, a trusted neighbour dropping in on your mother regularly provides both safety and social contact.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Grief is a natural process, but in some situations professional support may be needed:
- If, months after the death, deep sadness continues to affect daily life markedly
- If there are marked changes in sleep and appetite, or weight loss
- If the person does not leave the house and has completely lost interest in things she used to enjoy
- If she keeps voicing guilt, worthlessness or thoughts such as "there's no point in my living"
- If there is a marked increase in forgetfulness, absent-mindedness or confusion
If thoughts of self-harm are mentioned or there is any immediate risk, call 112 (emergency services) without delay. These signs do not in themselves amount to a diagnosis, but they must be taken seriously. A doctor's assessment for physical symptoms and, where necessary, an assessment by a psychiatrist are also important.
How Are Grief and Loneliness in Later Life Addressed in Therapy?
Individual therapy can offer a supportive space for coping with grief and loneliness in later life.
Accompanying the grieving process. In therapy, the loss, memories and unfinished feelings are talked about in a safe setting. The aim is not to make the pain disappear but to learn to live with it.
Behavioural activation. Part of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), this approach aims to add small, meaningful activities back into the person's daily life.
Examining thought patterns. Thoughts such as "I'm no use to anyone any more" or "I'm a burden on my children" are considered from a more balanced perspective.
Family sessions. Where necessary, sessions with adult children help develop a shared understanding of care, communication and expectations.
In Çorum, alongside face-to-face sessions, online sessions can also be an option for older people who find it hard to leave the house. You may also want to read our article on women's retirement in Çorum, which looks more broadly at women's own pension situation.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does an elderly woman's grief last after losing her husband?
There is no fixed timeframe for grief. For many people the first year is the most intense period, but longing and sadness can return from time to time for years. If grief seriously interferes with daily functioning for a long time, professional support is recommended.
My mother can't get by on her survivor's pension but won't ask for help. What can I do?
Offering help not as "charity" but as a natural form of family sharing can work. For example, covering some of the bills or doing the shopping regularly means she does not have to ask for money directly. It is important to use language that protects her dignity.
Is it normal for my elderly mother to be constantly tired and unmotivated?
Energy levels can fall in old age, but constant tiredness, loss of interest and withdrawal can also be signs of depression. It makes sense first to see a doctor to rule out physical causes and then to have a psychological assessment.
Is it possible to build a new life after losing my husband?
Yes. Many women build new interests, friendships and daily routines after grief. Making room for your own life while carrying your husband's memory is not disloyalty to him but a natural continuation of life.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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