Why is being a working woman in a small city so demanding? Çorum and regional data, social scrutiny, guilt and boundaries, from a psychological view.
The neighbour watching from the window as you get on the works bus in the morning, a relative met in the market on the way home asking "You work this late?", the awkward answer your mother-in-law gives at a wedding when asked "Who looks after the children?"... Being a working woman in a small city is not only about having a job; it also means being constantly visible in a place where everyone knows everyone else. Data for the region that includes Çorum show two sides of women's working lives: on the one hand, women's employment above the Turkish average; on the other, a large share of that employment concentrated in invisible, unpaid or low-skilled work. In this article we look first at the figures, and then at the weight that the question "What will people say?" places on women's inner lives.
What Do the Figures Say? Women's Working Lives in Çorum and the Region
Many indicators of women's working lives are not published at provincial level; for this reason, some of the data refer to the TR83 region (Samsun, Tokat, Çorum and Amasya), which includes Çorum.
Women's employment in the region is above average. According to news reports citing the Women in Statistics 2022 bulletin of TÜİK (the Turkish Statistical Institute), in 2021 the female employment rate in TR83 was 33.8%, placing the region third out of 26 regions on this indicator. But agriculture shapes this picture: according to a 2023 study by Mek, 55.3% of agricultural employment in the region consists of unpaid family workers. A breakdown of this figure by sex has not been published; even so, it is reasonable to think that a significant share of women working in fields, vineyards, gardens and livestock in rural areas fall into this group.
A gap in education. According to the same study, 11% of working women in the region cannot read or write, and 54% have less than upper-secondary education. In Turkey as a whole, these figures are 5% and 45%.
A diploma may not bring a job. In the region, the unemployment rate among women with a university degree is 19.9%, or roughly one in five; among men with the same level of education it is 7.3%. Across Turkey, unemployment among women university graduates is 16.8%.
A marked gap in entrepreneurship. A master's thesis completed at Hitit University in 2024 (Özdilli) examined the records of the Çorum Chamber of Commerce and Industry: in 2022, women made up about 12% of business partners and about 15% of company officers. The same thesis found that social capital in the form of "groups and networks" increases the likelihood of a woman being an entrepreneur.
Gender equality ranking. According to a secondary study cited in OKA's (Central Black Sea Development Agency) 2024–2028 Regional Plan, Çorum ranks 47th out of 81 provinces on a provincial gender inequality index. Among neighbouring provinces, Amasya ranks 5th, Samsun 10th and Tokat 24th.
The burden of care. According to 2022 data cited from TÜİK in the OKA Regional Plan, at least one older person lives in 34.2% of households in Çorum; in Turkey, the figure is 24.1%. Across Turkey, according to TÜİK's Women in Statistics 2024 bulletin, only 27.1% of women aged 25–49 with a child under three are in employment; among men in the same situation, the figure is 90.1%.
Encouraging examples. Welding training for women was provided in cooperation between the Çorum Organised Industrial Zone and OKA, and according to news reports nine women subsequently started work in industry. In Sungurlu, a production cooperative set up by women makes mantı (Turkish dumplings) and baked goods.
The limits of the data
Labour force participation and employment rates by sex specific to Çorum are not published; data on women's employment and unemployment are at regional level and refer to 2021. The gender inequality index is not an official TÜİK indicator but a secondary study. No provincial data could be found on women leaving work after marriage or childbirth either.
Why Is a Working Woman in a Small City More Visible? A Sociological Reading
Possible structural factors that may explain these data include:
The intensity of social scrutiny. In small and medium-sized cities, people know one another; this familiarity creates trust and solidarity, but it also creates a powerful mechanism of social control. When a woman goes out, whom she talks to and whom she leaves her child with can easily become topics of conversation.
A city between farming and industry. Çorum is both a growing industrial city and a province where around a quarter of the population lives in villages. In rural areas, women's labour continues within the family business and is often not counted as "work"; in the city, taking a paid job can still be seen by some families as a choice that needs explaining.
Care responsibilities placed on women. According to data from the Turkish Family Structure Survey, women carry out most of the housework. The fact that the share of households with an older person is above the Turkish average in Çorum shows that the burden of care stems not only from children but also from ageing parents.
Limited networks. The low proportion of women entrepreneurs and the decisive role of social capital point to women's still limited access to business networks.
Changing generations. A generation of women who went to university, while their own mothers never had a paid job, now live with both their family's expectations and their own goals at the same time. This rapid change between generations means that different definitions of "womanhood" sit side by side in the same household. Behind some of the tensions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or between mother and daughter, there may be not so much a personal disagreement as this change itself.
None of these factors is unique to Çorum; similar dynamics can be observed in many small and medium-sized cities across Turkey.
"What Will People Say?": The Psychological Side of Being a Working Woman in a Small City
Shame and the search for approval
The question "What will people say?" describes the way individuals adjust their behaviour according to the possible judgements of others. Psychologically, this is closely linked to seeking external approval. A working woman, even if she is pleased with her success at work, may feel constant guilt and shame because she perceives herself as "falling short" in her roles as mother, wife or daughter-in-law. A woman who constantly puts her own needs on hold and tries to meet everyone's expectations may, over time, find it hard even to notice what she herself wants. We look at the general dynamics of this pattern in our article on people-pleasing.
The double shift and burnout
Leaving work only to start the "second job" at home may leave no room for rest or time for yourself. Living at this pace for a long time can lead to burnout, which shows itself through constant tiredness, impatience, sleep problems and a feeling of "I can't keep up with anything". We explore this topic separately in our article on the double burden on working women.
The "good mother" template
Working mothers with young children often struggle with the thought "I'm neglecting my child". Yet research shows that what matters for a child's development is not so much the mother being with them all the time as the quality of the time spent together and a secure care arrangement. Even so, social templates are so powerful that many mothers continue to feel guilty despite knowing this.
Invisible labour and feeling worthless
For women who work in the fields or in the family business but are considered "not working", the problem is not visibility but invisibility. Not being paid for their labour, having no say in financial decisions and having no income of their own can, over time, feed feelings of worthlessness and dependence.
The power of having your own income
There is another side to the coin. For many women, having their own income strengthens their sense of self-efficacy, their decision-making power and the balance in their relationship. Being able to buy something for their child with their own money, help their parents or put some savings aside is a small-seeming but deep source of self-confidence. That is why, when we talk about the difficulties working women face, we also need to see what work adds to their lives.
The waiting room of educated but unemployed women
Young women who have graduated from university but cannot find a job may have to cope with questions from family and those around them such as "When are you getting married?" or "You studied all that time, and for what?". This state of waiting can lead to a loss of self-confidence, uncertainty about identity and learned helplessness.
It is natural to think about what others will say; but leaving the direction of your life to that question alone means turning down your own voice.
Let us imagine a mother of two who works in the accounts department of a factory in Çorum. Her mother-in-law looks after the children but makes a small complaint every evening; her husband is supportive but does not do much of the housework; and relatives say during holiday visits, "You didn't really need to work." She loves her job and is proud to contribute to the household income; yet every day, as she leaves work, a twinge of guilt stirs inside her. In this fictional example, the problem is not the job itself, but that she ties her own worth to other people's approval.
Practical Suggestions for a Working Woman in a Small City
- Clarify your own reasons. Why do you work? Financial independence, self-fulfilment, being a role model for your children... Knowing your reasons keeps you steadier in the face of criticism.
- You do not have to respond to every criticism. A short, calm sentence such as "Thank you, this is what works for us" is more effective than a long defence.
- Talk openly about the division of labour at home. Making a concrete plan with your husband for sharing housework and childcare lightens the load of the double shift.
- Build a support network. Solidarity with women in the same situation, cooperatives, professional groups or ties with other women at work reduce the feeling of loneliness.
- Make time for yourself. Even a few hours a week that belong only to you is one of the simplest ways of preventing burnout.
- Let go of the expectation of perfection. You do not have to do everything flawlessly, either at work or at home; being "good enough" is what is sustainable.
For employers
Arrangements such as flexible working hours, childcare support or transport make it easier for women, especially those with young children or older relatives who need care, to stay in work. A workplace where women employees are consulted and that has clear rules against discrimination also supports productivity.
For families and husbands
The most valuable support that can be given to a working woman is not merely allowing her to work, but sharing the load. Appreciation instead of criticism and practical help instead of complaints strengthen both the woman's mental health and family relationships. And when children see at home that their mother's work is valued and the housework is shared, they grow up to be adults who take a more balanced division of labour for granted in their own relationships.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
It may be helpful to talk to a professional in the following situations:
- If constant tiredness, sleeplessness and irritability have continued for weeks
- If going to work or returning home causes intense anxiety or reluctance
- If feelings of guilt and inadequacy are markedly affecting your daily life
- If you are in constant conflict with your husband or extended family over working
- If you cannot enjoy anything and feel worthless
If you are experiencing pressure or violence at home, or if hopelessness and thoughts of harming yourself have appeared, in an emergency call 112 (emergency services).
How Are Work, Family and Social Pressure Addressed in Therapy?
In therapy, the first step is to acknowledge that the strain a woman is experiencing is real and understandable. In cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), thoughts such as "If I were a good mother I wouldn't work", "Everyone is judging me" or "I have to do everything myself" are examined, and more balanced alternatives are developed. Working on skills for setting boundaries and expressing oneself makes it easier to stay calm and clear in the face of criticism.
From a schema therapy perspective, early patterns such as self-sacrifice or approval-seeking can be addressed; understanding which childhood experiences shaped these patterns allows today's choices to be made more freely. If the division of labour at home and conflict are at the centre of the relationship, couple sessions can also be an option. For those who find it hard to attend sessions in person because of a demanding work schedule, individual therapy can also be continued online.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do working women in small cities feel more pressure?
Similar difficulties exist in big cities too; however, in small cities the fact that people know one another can make social scrutiny more visible. How strongly this pressure is felt varies from family to family and from person to person.
Does being a working mother harm children?
Research shows that what shapes a child's development is not so much whether the mother works as whether care is secure and consistent and how good the time spent together is.
How can I cope with criticism from my family?
It can help to try to understand the worry behind the criticism, without feeling obliged to defend your decision. Giving short, calm and consistent answers and agreeing on a shared stance with your husband are important.
What does unpaid family work mean?
It refers to working in a family business or in the fields without receiving any pay. Although this labour is economically valuable, it is often not seen as "work", which can lead women to feel that their own labour is worthless.
Bu yazı genel bilgilendirme amaçlıdır; tanı veya tedavi yerine geçmez. Yaşadığınız güçlükler için bir ruh sağlığı uzmanına başvurmanız önerilir. Acil bir durumda lütfen 112'yi arayın.
Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
Eğitimler
