The empty nest in Çorum is closely tied to migration. Read about the feelings of parents whose children move away, parenting from afar and ways to find support.
Saying "call me when you get there" while saying goodbye at the bus station, the silence of the car on the way home, not opening the door of the empty room for a while once back in the house... Many parents whose children have moved to another city to study or work know these moments well. The experience of the empty nest in Çorum is a story closely intertwined with the city's migration data. According to the Internal Migration Statistics of TÜİK (the Turkish Statistical Institute), 17,208 people moved from Çorum to other provinces in 2025, while 15,597 people arrived. Some of the young people who leave come back a few years later; others build their lives in another city. In this article I focus on the family experience behind the figures: the feelings of parents whose children live far away and how parenting from a distance can be carried out in a healthier way.
Empty Nest in Çorum: What Do the Migration Figures Say?
Çorum has been a province of net out-migration for many years. According to the 2015 social analysis of the Central Black Sea Development Agency (OKA), between 2008 and 2014 there was a net migration loss of between 13 and 17 per thousand every year. In recent years the loss has fluctuated: according to local sources reporting TÜİK data, net migration was −6,728 in 2024 and −1,611 in 2025. 2023 stands out as the only year in the series with net in-migration.
The direction of migration and its reasons are also notable:
- Ankara is the main destination. According to an Ankara Chamber of Commerce publication based on TÜİK data, in 2024 8,386 people moved from Çorum to Ankara, while only 3,486 moved from Ankara to Çorum. Çorum is the fourth-largest source of migrants to Ankara.
- The reasons for migration vary. According to TÜİK's 2025 data on reasons for migration, of those who left Çorum, 3,327 went for education, 3,494 for better housing and living conditions, 3,489 for reasons linked to family members, and 1,840 to find a job or start a business.
- Migration peaks in young adulthood. According to OKA's analysis based on TÜİK data, both in- and out-migration in Çorum are most concentrated in the 20–24 age group and are higher among women than men.
On the other hand, the roots of the generation that stays behind run deep. According to TÜİK data cited in OKA's 2021 elderly care report, 94.4 per cent of older people living in Çorum were born in the province; it is the province with the third-highest share in Turkey. According to sources reporting TÜİK's 2025 family statistics, in 46.8 per cent of single-person households someone aged 65 or over lives alone; in Turkey the figure is 33.2 per cent, and Çorum ranks third on this indicator.
In short, the picture can be summed up like this: young people leave, parents stay, and over time the number of older people living alone grows.
What should you keep in mind when reading these data?
- Migration statistics do not break figures down by age and family relationship. We cannot know how many of those who leave are leaving children behind and how many are leaving parents; this connection is an inference.
- Up-to-date (2024–2025) migration data by age could not be found for Çorum; the concentration in the 20–24 age group is based on older data.
- Some figures were taken not from TÜİK's provincial tables themselves but from local news reports relaying them. The magnitudes are enough to show the direction, but there may be small discrepancies.
- The empty nest is not a diagnosis; it is an ordinary stage of the life cycle. The figures suggest this stage may be experienced earlier and more noticeably in Çorum; they do not say it is difficult for everyone.
Why Do Young People Leave and Parents Stay?
Migration decisions often look individual, but there are structural factors behind them. Looking at the data, a few possible factors stand out.
Education and job opportunities. A significant number of young people leave the province for university. After graduation, the greater variety of job opportunities in big cities can make it harder to return. In TÜİK's 2025 data, the number of people leaving to find work (1,840) is clearly higher than the number arriving for the same reason (1,203), which supports this interpretation.
Ankara's proximity and the home-town network. Ankara being 240 kilometres away, and the presence of a large community from Çorum there, makes migration easier. Academic studies draw attention to a pattern of "chain migration", in which those who leave first invite their relatives to follow.
Parents' rootedness. Parents in their fifties and sixties have their homes, land, neighbours and habits in Çorum. Moving to a big city would mean a new rupture for them. The fact that the great majority of older people live in the province where they were born shows the strength of this attachment.
Smaller families. In families with fewer children, even one child leaving can mean the home empties. The fact that the average household size in Çorum has fallen to 2.71 suggests that homes may grow quiet faster than before.
How Does the Empty Nest Period Feel for Parents in Çorum?
The empty nest period is not a single feeling but a mixture of intertwined emotions. While some parents experience this period as relief and a new freedom, for others it can be a challenging process of adjustment.
Pride and sadness side by side
Saying "my child studied, found a job and stands on their own two feet" brings great pride. But within the same sentence there is also a sense of something missing. Feeling these two emotions at the same time can be confusing; the question "why am I sad when I should be happy?" can create guilt.
Loss of role and the question "who am I now?"
For parents who have devoted years to raising children, especially those who experienced this as their main occupation, a change in daily routine can create a gap in identity. Tasks such as laying the table, planning the day around school hours and keeping track of homework suddenly disappear.
The marriage becoming visible again
While the children are at home, the distance between partners often goes unnoticed. When the house empties, the couple are left alone together and the relationship has to be redefined. According to TÜİK's 2025 divorce data, roughly 30 per cent of divorces in Çorum took place in marriages that had lasted 16 years or more. It would not be right to link this figure directly to the empty nest; still, it is a reminder that long marriages may also need support in new phases of life.
Worry about the future
Questions such as "who will look after me if I get ill?" or "how often will I get to see my grandchildren?" can intensify, especially if all the children are far away. This worry is sometimes expressed as reproach towards the child or pressure to "come back", which can strain the relationship.
Loneliness
For parents who have lost a partner or live alone, the empty nest can become intertwined with loneliness. I discussed how loneliness arises and ways of coping with it in my article on feeling lonely. If you would like to read about the signs of empty nest syndrome in more detail, you can also take a look at my article on empty nest syndrome.
Holidays, summer breaks and the silence that follows
The religious holidays and summer breaks when children who live far away come home are both the happiest and the hardest times for parents experiencing an empty nest. For a few days the house is full, meals stretch on and the voices of grandchildren fill the rooms. The farewell that follows, however, brings the feeling of emptiness back to life. Many parents describe a few days of low mood at the end of visits. This reaction is normal; but being unable to recover for weeks after every goodbye may indicate that the loss has not yet been sufficiently processed.
The question "will I move to be near them one day?"
As they grow older, moving to the city where their children live becomes a topic for some parents. According to TÜİK's 2025 data on reasons for migration, 208 people left Çorum for health or care reasons, compared with 83 who arrived for the same reasons. Because these figures are not broken down by age, it is not possible to draw a firm conclusion; still, they suggest that some older people move to be near their children in big cities for care. Such a move means leaving behind a home lived in for years, neighbourly ties and familiar habits. Making the decision not in haste but through a process in which the older person's voice is also heard makes adjustment easier.
Those who leave carry a load too
On the other side of this picture are the adult children who live far away. Many carry the guilt of leaving their parents behind; they weigh the answer to "are you all right?" in every phone call and feel inadequate when they cannot make it home for the holidays. Parenting from a distance is a relationship that involves the feelings of both sides.
Parenting from a Distance: Ways to Keep the Bond Alive
Let's say a mother and father living in İskilip call their daughter almost every day in the first months after she starts a job in İzmir; she, meanwhile, feels guilty because she cannot always answer between meetings. Both sides love each other, but because expectations have not been talked about, tension builds up. The suggestions below can offer guidance in situations like this.
For parents:
- Set a rhythm for your calls. Video calls on particular days of the week and at particular times reduce the uncertainty of "when will they call?"
- Build your own agenda. A new course, volunteering, a regular walking companion or a postponed hobby fills the freed-up time in a meaningful way.
- Trust your child's decision. Even when it comes from love, a sentence such as "there were jobs here too" can devalue your child's decision. Showing curiosity and interest strengthens the bond.
- Get to know your partner again. Finding new activities you can do together carries the marriage into this period.
- Say clearly what you need. Hiding your health problems "so they won't be upset" can lead to bigger worries later on.
For adult children who live far away:
- Keep in touch concretely and regularly. For most parents, short but regular calls are more reassuring than long but infrequent conversations.
- Get to know the support network nearby. Sharing contact details with your parents' neighbours, relatives or family doctor puts your mind at rest in emergencies.
- Do not confuse guilt with responsibility. Building your own life is not abandoning your parents. You can fulfil your responsibility through planned support.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Sadness lasting a few weeks or a few months after children leave home is normal. However, in the following situations it may be helpful to consider professional support:
- If the sadness and feeling of emptiness do not lessen even after months have passed
- If sleep and appetite are noticeably disrupted and you feel constantly tired
- If interest in activities you used to enjoy has disappeared completely
- If tension or silence between partners has deepened
- If worry about your child has turned into control that restricts their life
- If thoughts that life has lost its meaning have become more frequent
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, this is an emergency; call 112 (emergency services) or go to the nearest emergency department.
How Is the Empty Nest Process Addressed in Therapy?
During the empty nest process, therapy focuses on making sense of loss and change and on building a new pattern of life.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) helps people notice thoughts such as "nobody needs me any more" or "if my child is unhappy far away, it's my fault" and evaluate them realistically. Through behavioural activation, activities that add meaning and enjoyment to the person's day are planned step by step.
The schema therapy perspective helps us understand why separation is so much more unsettling for some people. In people with strong abandonment or dependence schemas, a child's departure can also revive past losses.
Sometimes the work is done with both partners; sometimes the communication patterns between parents and adult children are addressed. If there is a marked drop in mood, work in the area of depression and mood can accompany this process. I also work in Çorum with face-to-face and online sessions; online sessions can also make it easier for family members living in different cities to take part.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is empty nest syndrome an illness?
No, empty nest syndrome is not an official diagnosis. It is a concept that describes the feelings of sadness, emptiness and loss of role experienced after children leave home. For most people these feelings ease over time; if they persist for a long time, an assessment for depression may be needed.
Which city do most people from Çorum move to?
According to an Ankara Chamber of Commerce publication based on TÜİK data, 8,386 people moved from Çorum to Ankara in 2024. Çorum is the fourth-largest source of migrants to Ankara. A province-by-province breakdown for 2025 could not be found in a published source.
Is it wrong to call my child every day?
There is no right or wrong frequency of calls; what matters is that neither side is uncomfortable with it. Talking openly about expectations and setting a shared rhythm reduces both your anxiety and your child's sense of pressure.
How can children who live far away support their parents' loneliness?
Regular, short phone calls, video calls, keeping in touch with neighbours and relatives nearby and encouraging parents to take part in social activities are effective ways. If loneliness has turned into marked unhappiness, it is also important to encourage them to seek professional support.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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