Who was Puduhepa, and what can she say to women today? We look at the Hittite queen's letters without myth-making, and talk about visibility and confidence.
Many girls growing up in Çorum wander among the stones of Hattusa on school trips without ever really hearing that a queen once wrote letters there. Yet Puduhepa is one of the most widely known female figures in Hittite history: a queen whose name appears in diplomatic correspondence and whose political and social influence is studied in academic work. In this article we approach her without turning her into a legendary heroine, paying attention to what the sources say and what they do not. Our real question is this: what might the visible strength of a woman who lived thousands of years ago mean for women today who are trying to make their voices heard at work, at home or in their community?
Who Was Puduhepa? What the Sources Do and Do Not Tell Us
Puduhepa is known as the wife of the Hittite King Hattusili III. The reason we can know her today is the great archive the Hittites committed to writing. The cuneiform tablets found at Boğazköy are on UNESCO's Memory of the World register; according to UNESCO, this archive contains around 25,000 tablets. In Şapinuva (Ortaköy), in the same region, there is a second archive of around 4,000 tablets. Among these tablets are laws, prayers, treaties and letters that royal courts wrote to one another.
The queen's name stands out particularly in this diplomatic correspondence. A thesis prepared at Afyon Kocatepe University (Özdemir, 2018) examines the queen's political and social influence on the Hittite state. Academic studies report that she played a visible role in the diplomacy of her era and in the relations that followed the Treaty of Kadesh.
Nonetheless, it is important to know certain limits:
- The tablets convey a queen's official voice; they do not directly show her everyday feelings, her fears or her inner world.
- Puduhepa was a woman of the royal court. Her power does not represent the lives of ordinary Hittite women.
- Tempting as it may be to declare a historical figure a "feminist pioneer" in today's terms, this would go beyond what the sources say.
Still, one detail is striking: what carries a woman's voice to us thousands of years later is the fact that her voice was written down. Throughout history countless women kept homes, fields and communities going; yet most of their names were never written on any tablet. This reminds us that visibility is not only about individual ability but also about being recorded, that is, about someone hearing that voice and preserving it. Today, too, a woman's effort, idea or decision often becomes visible only when someone voices it and acknowledges it.
That is why thinking of her not as a "superhero" but as a woman who managed to get her voice on record within the conditions of her own time offers a more balanced perspective.
Women in Hittite Society: Not Equal, but a Regulated World
To understand the queen's visibility, we need to look at the general position of women in that period. Hittite laws contain provisions on marriage, divorce, inheritance and adoption. Concepts such as bride price (kušata) and dowry (iwaru) appear; it is reported that in the event of divorce the dowry could return to the woman's father's house.
Academic assessments draw a twofold picture here. On the one hand, these laws are thought to have secured women's position to a certain extent compared with some other legal texts of the era. On the other hand, it is emphasised that society was patriarchal and that inequality is clearly visible in the texts (Ortega Balanza, 2014; Kumaş, 2018). So neither an "ancient equality" narrative nor a "complete injustice" narrative reflects reality; a more accurate description is a society that was "patriarchal but regulated by rules".
A provision such as the dowry being able to return to the woman's father's house on divorce is also thought-provoking from a psychological point of view. When people know they can leave a relationship or a situation, they can also speak more confidently within it. Today, too, it is often observed that women with financial independence, an income of their own or a support network can take part in decisions more comfortably. A sense of security is one of the quiet foundations of visibility; a person finds the courage to speak when she feels she will not lose everything by raising her voice.
This relationship between structure and individual matters today as well. A woman's ability to be visible often depends not only on her personal courage but also on how much room the structure she lives in allows her. If you are curious to learn more about Hittite family law, you can take a look at our article on the family in Hittite laws.
Puduhepa and the Role Model Effect: What Can History Tell Today's Women?
In psychology, role models are seen as an important source shaping how people answer the question "Can someone like me do this?" In Albert Bandura's concept of self-efficacy, observing other people's experiences is one of the ways that nourish a person's belief in what they themselves can do. Seeing the success of someone similar to oneself, in particular, can strengthen the feeling that "this is possible for me too".
Historical figures serve an interesting function here. This queen's story reminds us that a woman could acquire a voice that was put on record even within a patriarchal order. However, two extremes need to be avoided:
- The myth-making trap: Presenting a historical figure as flawless and extraordinary makes her unreachable. The thought "She was a queen, who am I?" can reverse the function of a role model.
- The dismissal trap: Saying "Those were ancient times, what has that got to do with today?" means missing a perspective the past could offer.
What is more useful is to see the historical figure as "evidence": women having a say in public life is not a new invention; it is an experience that has existed in different eras and in different forms. This perspective can give a woman who hesitates to speak up in a meeting today, or who struggles to take part in family decisions, the sense that "this request is not strange".
Being visible does not mean speaking louder than everyone else; it means allowing your own voice to be put on record.
The Cost of Being Visible: Women Today and the Psychological Load
Today many women take on more visible roles in working life, in the family and in the community. Yet being visible can also bring certain psychological burdens with it.
Feeling like a fraud. Thinking "I'm not really good enough, one day they'll find out" despite being successful is a common experience, especially among women moving into a new role. We look at this topic separately in our article on impostor syndrome.
Double expectations. Women may be expected to be decisive at work and self-sacrificing at home. A woman who acts decisively may be seen as "harsh", one who is conciliatory as "soft". These contradictory expectations lead a person to keep adjusting herself and to become worn out.
"What will people say?" anxiety. In small and medium-sized cities, people knowing one another is a source of support; but the same closeness can also mean that a visible woman is judged more. What is said in the neighbourhood group chat, at a family gathering or among the parents at school can lead a person to withdraw.
Invisible labour. If a woman takes on a visible role outside while also continuing to carry most of the caring and household work at home, visibility can turn into a source of burnout. The double burden of working women is a familiar experience in this respect.
Messages passed down the generations. Sentences we heard from our grandmothers and mothers, such as "A proper woman doesn't make a fuss" or "Just manage, don't make a big deal of it", even if said with good intentions, can affect the way a person expresses herself today. Some of these messages developed as ways of surviving difficult circumstances; an attitude that was protective in that era can be restricting in today's conditions. Noticing them without blaming anyone makes it easier for us to choose what we want to keep and what we want to change.
Let's say a woman has run the accounts at the family business for years but has never sat at the table where decisions are discussed. One day, when she is asked to give her opinion, her throat tightens and her voice trembles. This does not show that she lacks ability; it shows the mark left by staying in an invisible role for a long time.
Practical Suggestions for Making Your Voice Heard
Perhaps the most concrete lesson to take from the Hittite queen's story is this: a voice becomes lasting when it is written down and repeated. Some steps that can support this in daily life:
- Start in small areas. A holiday plan in the family, a short suggestion at work, a question at a parents' meeting. The muscle of visibility grows stronger with small repetitions.
- Write your thoughts down beforehand. Before going into a meeting or an important conversation, noting the three sentences you want to say can reduce anxiety.
- Notice the "Sorry, but" pattern. Starting every sentence with an apology can reduce the value of what you say in your own eyes too.
- Build a supportive circle. A friend, sibling or colleague who listens to you and encourages you makes the first steps easier.
- Find your own role models. It doesn't have to be a queen from history; observing a woman around you who makes her voice heard gently but clearly can also be instructive.
- Keep a record of your achievements. Just as tablets carry a voice into the present, noting what you have achieved and the positive feedback you have received in a small notebook gives you something concrete to lean on in moments when you doubt yourself.
- Set your boundaries. Being visible does not mean taking on everything. Being able to say "I can't do this" is also part of having a voice.
A few small steps can also be considered by parents raising daughters: asking for the child's opinion at the dinner table and taking it seriously, praising "being able to express yourself" more than "being good and quiet", and talking about different examples of women from history and from those around them. Even saying "a queen wrote letters here" on a trip to Hattusa can leave a small trace in a child's mind that women, too, have had a say in history.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Struggling to express yourself is very common and should not be seen as a problem in itself. However, in the following situations it may be helpful to talk to a professional:
- If speaking up, giving your opinion or saying no causes intense anxiety, palpitations or a sense of freezing
- If you keep turning down opportunities because you think others will judge you
- If an inner voice that belittles your achievements is noticeably damaging your self-respect
- If you feel exhausted from taking on everything both at home and at work
- If you have been experiencing reluctance, unhappiness and feelings of worthlessness for a long time
These signs do not mean a diagnosis, but they may indicate that support could be needed. Individual therapy is one option for talking about these issues in a safe setting.
How Are Self-Confidence and Visibility Anxiety Approached in Therapy?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) generally addresses anxiety about visibility through the cycle of thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Automatic thoughts such as "If I speak, I'll make a fool of myself" or "My opinion doesn't matter" are identified, and the evidence for these thoughts is examined together. Plans are made to face avoided situations step by step; for example, first speaking up in a small group, then in a larger setting.
The schema therapy perspective goes to the roots of these anxieties. Someone whose feelings and needs were pushed into the background in childhood may have developed patterns such as "self-sacrifice" or "approval-seeking" in adulthood. Recognising these patterns makes the person's present-day reactions more understandable and opens up new options.
In addition, working on assertiveness can be useful. Assertiveness is being able to express your needs and boundaries clearly without being either aggressive or passive. In sessions, a conversation you find difficult can be role-played together, different ways of phrasing things can be tried, and these experiences can be carried into daily life. In this way the feeling "I'm right but I can't say it" can give way to the experience "I said it and the world didn't fall apart".
The aim of therapy is not to make someone into who they are not. A calm, introverted woman can also make her voice heard; what matters is finding a way of expressing herself that suits her own style and respects herself. This process can be carried out in Çorum through face-to-face or online sessions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where does information about Puduhepa come from?
Most of the information comes from the Hittites' cuneiform tablets, particularly diplomatic correspondence. Academic studies of these tablets examine the queen's political and social role. Because the sources are official texts, it is not possible to say anything definite about her personal feelings.
Were Hittite women equal to men?
According to academic assessments, no. Although Hittite laws gave women certain safeguards in marriage and divorce, society was patriarchal and inequality is clearly visible in the texts. The queen's visibility is also linked to her being a member of the royal court.
Can reading about historical women support self-confidence?
Role models can nourish the feeling that "someone like me can do this". However, mythologising a figure can make her unreachable. The most helpful approach is to draw inspiration from real women around you as well as from historical figures.
Is it a problem that I hesitate to speak in meetings?
Most people experience this hesitancy from time to time. However, if it is causing you to miss opportunities, to feel worthless or to experience intense anxiety, talking to a professional can help you understand this cycle.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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