Quitting Betting: What Happens in the First Weeks and How to Cope with Urges

For anyone trying to quit betting: what the first days to the first month can feel like, and how to cope with urge waves, match days and slip-ups.

The night you delete the app there is usually a strange lightness. The phone lies face down on the table and you tell yourself, "Right, that's it." The next evening, around nine, as a match kicks off on screen, your hand reaches for the phone almost by itself. For most people, quitting betting does not happen with a single decision; it happens by making that decision again every day, and sometimes every hour. This article is for you if you have decided to stop and are right in the middle of those first weeks. We will look step by step at what can happen in your mind and body during this period, the moments when the urge tends to rise, and what you can do if you slip.

Why Does Quitting Betting Feel So Hard?

Betting is a behaviour that gets along very well with the brain's reward system. Wins that arrive unpredictably, "it nearly came in" moments and the thrill of a last-minute goal all strengthen the brain's urge to repeat. For someone who has bet regularly for a long time, the betting slip stops being only a way to win money; it becomes a tool that numbs boredom, stress, loneliness or the anger left after an argument, if only for a few minutes.

So the person who stops is giving up not just a habit but also a way of regulating their emotions. The gap left behind is felt clearly in the first weeks. Add to this the losses: most people who decide to quit make that decision after a big loss or after a debt has come to light. In a corner of the mind the thought still circulates: "Stopping before I win back what I lost means accepting the loss." This thought is the most stubborn enemy of the quitting process.

The first thing I want you to know is this: the restlessness you feel in the first weeks does not mean your decision was wrong. On the contrary, it is an expected reaction when a long-repeated behaviour stops, and its intensity fades over time.

The First 72 Hours: Relief and Restlessness Together

The first three days are often a time when two feelings are lived side by side. On one side there is relief that says "At last"; on the other, hands and a mind that do not know what to do with themselves. Common experiences in these days include:

• Picking up your phone again and again: Your fingers may go out of habit to where the app used to be. This is an automatic movement and is not as strong as the urge itself.
• Disrupted sleep: When the hours once spent on live betting at night are suddenly empty, falling asleep can become harder, or you may wake in the night wanting to check scores.
• Tension and impatience: Flaring up at the slightest noise at home, or struggling to concentrate at work, is common in this period.
• A mind that keeps calculating: Adding up the total amount you have lost over and over, building backward-looking scenarios such as "If I had bet on that match, I would have won this much."

The most important task in these days is to make access harder. Deleting the apps is a start but not enough, because reinstalling them takes a minute. Switching off online and international transactions on your cards through your bank's app, leaving social media accounts and messaging groups that share betting content, setting up website blocking on your phone and giving the password for that setting to someone you trust all put time between the urge and the action. Those few minutes of distance are often decisive.

The First Weeks: Urge Waves, Match Days and Payday

From the end of the first week you begin to notice that the urge comes like a wave. It may not cross your mind all day and then suddenly rise at certain moments. These moments vary from person to person, but some are shared by almost everyone.

Match times and weekends

For someone who has bet on football for a long time, a Saturday evening, a derby week or a European cup night is not just a match; it is also the time for the ritual of preparing a betting slip. Watching the match without thinking about the odds is hard in this period. Some people choose to stop watching matches altogether in the first weeks; others watch not alone but with someone who does not bet, leaving the phone in another room. You can find out which suits you by trying; what matters is turning match time into a planned time in advance.

Payday and moments when cash is at hand

The day money lands in your account is one of the moments when the urge often rises. The thought "I'll bet a small amount, I'm in control" speaks loudest on these days. Directing most of your salary through standing orders to bills, rent and debt instalments, and keeping your spending money in a separate account, makes this moment easier.

Boredom and tiredness

Evenings when you come home from work, nobody calls and there is nothing to do are risky times. When the time that betting used to fill suddenly empties, being bored can feel very uncomfortable. That gap needs to be filled in advance: an evening walk, a five-a-side game, signing up for a course, lending a hand with a family task. The activity does not need to be big; it is enough that your hands and mind are occupied during those hours.

When the urge comes: the 20-minute rule

When the urge to bet rises, instead of giving in to it straight away or fighting it, you can try observing it. Check the time, rate the strength of the urge from zero to ten and give yourself just twenty minutes. During that time change where you are, drink a glass of water, call someone or go out for a short walk. After twenty minutes, rate it again. Most of the time you will see that the number has dropped. This small experiment lets you learn with your own body that the urge does not keep rising forever.

An urge is not an order but a wave; it rises, peaks and pulls back. Every wave that passes makes the next one a little weaker.

A Practical Plan for Quitting Betting

Determination matters, but on its own it is not enough. For someone quitting betting, having written down in advance what they will do in difficult moments makes a big difference. I suggest writing the headings below on a piece of paper or in your phone's notes app, in your own words.

1. Why am I stopping? Write concrete and personal reasons. Instead of "to get out of debt", something like "to pay my daughter's school instalment from my own salary". In the moment of an urge, it is not abstract reasons that help but reasons you can picture.
2. What are my risk moments? List them by time, day, emotion and place. For example, "Sunday evening, when I'm alone, when I'm thinking about something I've lost."
3. What will I do in those moments? Choose an alternative for each risk moment. These should be realistic and doable straight away.
4. Whom will I call? Choose one or two people who know the situation and will listen without judging you. Tell them beforehand, "If I call you one day, let's just talk."
5. Where will the money be? Sharing control of cards, credit limits and account passwords with a trusted family member for a while may feel humiliating. But it is not a punishment; it is a temporary measure for the recovery period.
6. A debt list: See on a single page whom you owe and how much. Uncertainty feeds anxiety, and anxiety feeds the thought "I'll clear it with one big win." Our article on betting debt can also guide you on this.

Make the time and money you are gaining visible too. Noting down, from the day you stop, the amount that would normally have gone on bets means that after a few weeks you will be looking at a surprising picture. That picture is concrete evidence you can show yourself in the hardest moments.

Telling your family

Sharing the decision to stop with the person closest to you is often the hardest step, because it may also mean that hidden losses come to light. Yet as long as the secrecy continues, both the loneliness and the pressure of "let me clear it before it comes out" continue too. Rather than pouring out the whole problem in one go, you can think of the conversation as an honest beginning: "I've lost control of my betting, I've decided to stop, and I need your help to do it." The other person's first reaction may be anger or hurt; that is understandable. We describe what families go through in this process separately in our article on addiction and the family.

I Bet Once: Is It All Over?

Slipping during the quitting process is common. Placing a bet "just this once" on a derby night after three weeks without betting drags most people into deep shame. And that shame is dangerous, because the thought "I've already blown it, so it doesn't matter any more" can turn a slip into a full return.

It is more useful to treat a slip as information rather than failure. Ask yourself: What happened that day? What emotion was there? Which part of my plan did not work? Perhaps you were alone that evening, perhaps you had had an argument, perhaps you had switched off the blocking setting yourself. These answers show which part of your plan you need to strengthen.

Let's say a shopkeeper in his forties, after a month without betting, reinstalls an old app at the end of a bad week and loses a small amount. The next morning he has two options: either he says "I can't do this" and starts chasing the loss, or he tells his wife what happened, deletes the app, switches off his card's online transactions again and looks at why that week was so hard. The second path is the way to keep going without throwing away a month's effort.

After a slip, instead of punishing yourself, focus on what you can change to be better prepared for the next wave. You may feel you have to reset your day counter; that is your choice. But remember, the days you did not bet are not wiped out by that one evening.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

For some people, quitting betting can progress with their own effort and their family's support. However, in the following situations turning to a mental health professional makes the process noticeably easier:

• If you have tried to stop several times before and gone back within a few weeks each time,
• If your debts have reached a point you cannot pay, or you are facing legal proceedings,
• If, after stopping, you are experiencing intense low mood, hopelessness or a sense of worthlessness,
• If alcohol or another substance has started to take the place of betting,
• If sleeplessness, angry outbursts or anxiety are disrupting your daily life.

In Turkey, for information and referral about addiction you can call ALO 191 (Turkey's addiction advice line), or apply to the Green Crescent (Yeşilay) counselling centres (YEDAM) or the psychiatry outpatient clinics of hospitals. If co-occurring depression or an anxiety disorder is suspected, an assessment by a psychiatrist is important.

After large losses some people may have thoughts of harming themselves or ending their life. If you have such thoughts, do not carry them alone; if there is immediate danger, call 112 (emergency services) straight away.

How Is Quitting Betting Addressed in Therapy?

It is a well-known finding in the field that cognitive behavioural therapy can be helpful for gambling and betting problems. The first task in therapy is to understand what function betting serves in your life. For some it is a search for excitement, for some a hope against the panic created by debt, and for others a way of escaping the tension at home in the evenings. Trying only to stop the behaviour without understanding its function can lead to the gap being filled with another risky behaviour.

The main areas worked on in sessions are:

• Working with gambling thoughts: Thoughts such as "I've got a feeling about this one", "I know this league really well" or "I've lost so much, it's my turn now" are taken one by one, and together we examine how they mislead in a game of chance.
• Managing urges: A personal action plan is prepared for the moments when the urge peaks, and the plan is updated from week to week.
• Emotion regulation: Ways of coping with stress, anger or loneliness without betting are developed.
• Relapse prevention: High-risk situations are identified in advance, and what to do if a slip occurs is planned in detail.
• Repairing relationships: Where needed, sessions with a spouse or family members support rebuilding trust and managing money together.

This work can be carried out face to face or online as part of individual therapy. If you are curious about how betting behaviour generally turns into a cycle, our article on betting addiction offers a broader framework.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does the urge last after quitting betting?

This varies from person to person. Many people describe the first two or three weeks as the most intense period, after which the urge comes less often but sometimes at unexpected moments. Even months later, the urge can rise again at times like the start of the football season or a financial squeeze, so the plan should not be dropped.

Can I keep betting small amounts in a controlled way?

For someone who has noticed they have lost control, "betting a little" is often not a sustainable goal, because a small bet can restart the cycle of chasing losses. This decision is personal, and it is healthier to consider it together with a professional.

Stopping before I win back the money I lost feels unfair to me. Is that normal?

This thought is very common and sits right at the heart of the betting cycle. Trying to win back lost money through gambling statistically tends to make losses bigger. Accepting the loss and grieving it hurts, but facing the debt in a planned way is far less draining in the long run.

My spouse doesn't trust me while I'm quitting. What can I do?

Trust comes back through consistent behaviour more than through words. Keeping account activity transparent, sharing risk moments of your own accord and not hiding a slip if one happens all help trust to be repaired little by little. Giving your spouse's anger and hurt time is also part of this process.

• #betting
• #gambling
• #addiction
• #urge control
• #relapse prevention

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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