Signs of Trauma: How Do I Know If I Have Experienced Trauma?

What are the signs of trauma, and how can you tell whether what you went through was traumatic? Read about the overlooked signs and when support is a good idea.

When a door slams, you jump, and you cannot explain even to yourself why your reaction is so exaggerated. A particular smell, a song or a street takes you back years in a matter of seconds. Or the opposite: While describing something heavy that happened to you, you notice that you feel nothing, that you are talking as if telling someone else's story. You wonder, "Is there something wrong with me, or is everyone like this?" Signs of trauma are the changes in thinking, feeling, body and behaviour that appear after an event that exceeds the mind's and body's capacity to cope, and which sometimes last for years. In this article I will try to help you recognise these signs, particularly to make visible those that are mistaken for "temperament" or "character", and to explain when it would be a good idea to seek support.

What Is Trauma? Is Every Difficult Event Traumatic?

Psychological trauma is the psychological wound that follows a sudden, intense and often uncontrollable event that threatens a person's own life or physical integrity, or the lives of those close to them. An earthquake, a traffic accident, being subjected to violence, witnessing the sudden death of a loved one, a mugging or a major medical procedure are examples of such events.

Trauma, however, is not limited to a single big event. Repeated experiences such as witnessing violence over a long period in childhood, being constantly humiliated or being emotionally neglected can also leave deep marks. For these kinds of long-lasting, relational wounds the concept of "complex trauma" is sometimes used.

There is an important point here: Not everyone who goes through the same event is traumatised. Whether an event leaves a traumatic impact is determined not only by the event itself but also by the person's state at that moment, their past experiences, the support they receive and whether they feel safe after the event. That is why it is not right to belittle your own experience by saying, "What I went through wasn't that big a deal." For a broader picture of what trauma is, you can also take a look at the article on what psychological trauma is.

What Are the Signs of Trauma?

Reactions to trauma vary from person to person; but in the field they are generally grouped under a few main headings.

Reliving the event

• Images, sounds or thoughts about the event that come to mind involuntarily,
• Re-experiencing episodes that make you feel as if you are living that moment again,
• Recurring nightmares, whether apparently related to the event or not,
• Intense fear, palpitations or sweating when you encounter something that reminds you of the event.

You can find a detailed account of how these re-experiencing episodes work in the article on what a flashback is.

Avoidance

• Staying away from places, people and conversations that remind you of the event,
• Keeping constantly busy so as not to think about the event,
• Avoiding watching the news, watching certain films or travelling along certain routes.

Avoidance brings relief in the short term; but over time it can cause life to narrow more and more. First a road, then a neighbourhood, then an entire city can end up on the list of "places I don't go".

Being constantly on alert

• Startling easily, overreacting to sudden noises,
• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep,
• Constantly scanning for danger, looking for the exits first when you enter a room,
• Irritability, outbursts of anger, difficulty concentrating.

Changes in how you see yourself and the world

• Beliefs that become fixed, such as "Nowhere is safe" or "No one can be trusted",
• Blaming yourself for what happened, feeling shame,
• Reduced hope for the future, a feeling that "I won't live long anyway",
• Being unable to remember parts of the event.

Emotional numbing and disconnection

• Being unable to feel anything, even towards loved ones,
• Perceiving yourself or your surroundings as if they were not real,
• Feeling cut off from life, as if watching from behind glass.

Effects on relationships

Trauma affects not only a person's inner world but also the bonds they form with others. Withdrawing from those close to them, becoming impatient with a spouse or children, avoiding crowded settings or, on the contrary, being unable to be alone are common. Some people stay silent, thinking that if they talk about what they went through they will be a burden or will not be understood; over time this silence turns into a wall of loneliness. Those around them, meanwhile, often interpret the change in the person as "they've become grumpy" or "they've gone cold" and do not see the real cause.

Marks on the body

Trauma is not experienced only in the mind. Unexplained head, stomach or muscle pains, constant tiredness, a feeling of breathlessness and immune-related complaints can also accompany this picture. Many people realise, after years of going from doctor to doctor with physical complaints, that some of these may be connected to the trauma they went through.

Overlooked Signs of Trauma: The Things We Call "Just the Way I Am"

Some signs of trauma have been part of our lives for so long that we take them for features of our personality. For example:

• An excessive need for control: Planning everything, disliking surprises, intense unease in the face of uncertainty.
• Trying to please everyone: Avoiding conflict, being unable to say no, constantly monitoring other people's moods. This may be a survival strategy developed in childhood to prevent danger.
• Avoiding closeness: Pulling away when relationships begin to deepen, never being able to trust anyone fully.
• Constant busyness: Working without ever stopping, becoming restless in free time. Stopping can mean that suppressed feelings rise to the surface.
• Sudden, disproportionate anger: Reacting strongly to a small trigger and then feeling ashamed.
• Emotional flatness: Brushing it off with "I'm not a very emotional person"; when in fact feelings have long been numbed.

None of these traits on its own points to trauma; each can have many different causes. But if you went through a heavy experience in the past and these patterns are making your life difficult, it can be meaningful to consider whether there is a connection between them.

How Do I Know If I Have Experienced Trauma? Questions You Can Ask Yourself

The questions below are not a diagnostic tool; they can only help you look a little more closely at your own experience:

• Is there an event in my life that, even today, makes my body tense and my breathing speed up when I think about it?
• Do I, consciously or unconsciously, avoid things that remind me of this event?
• Do I notice that in certain situations my reactions are out of proportion to what is actually happening?
• Did my sleep, appetite or concentration change after a particular period?
• After that event, did the way I see myself, other people or the world change?
• Are some of my memories very blurred, or do I not remember certain periods at all?

If you answer "yes" to several of these questions, you might consider that what you went through may still be having an effect on you. If the signs last for more than a month after the event and noticeably affect daily life, the picture can be assessed by a professional in terms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Remember, these signs do not on their own mean a diagnosis; a diagnosis can only be made through a thorough clinical assessment.

Another important point is timing. In the first days after an event, sleeplessness, crying, startling and the event going round and round in the mind are a natural part of the mind trying to digest what happened. In most people these reactions gradually ease within weeks. What needs attention are the signs that, instead of easing, become persistent or even intensify over time.

How Trauma Is Viewed in Turkey: "The Past Is in the Past"

In our country a common way of coping with hardship is not to talk about what happened and to "be thankful". Sentences such as "The dead are gone, the living are ours to look after", "The past is in the past" and "It could have been worse" encourage people to set pain aside rather than face it. In the short term this attitude can help people stay on their feet; but unresolved experiences quietly carry on existing.

The 6 February 2023 earthquakes painfully showed us, as a society, how widespread and many-layered trauma can be. Those who lived through the earthquakes directly, those who waited beside the rubble, those who lost loved ones, those who watched for hours on screens and those who went to the region to help were affected at different levels. Many people say that, even though time has passed, they relive the same fear when a lorry goes by or a building shakes.

Another example is the harsh punishment given in childhood under the name of "discipline". Many adults who were beaten or grew up amid constant shouting at home normalise this by saying, "Everyone was brought up like that in our day." Yet being common does not mean it leaves no mark.

It should also be remembered that trauma does not affect only those who experience the event directly. Emergency department health workers, search and rescue teams, firefighters and professional groups who constantly listen to other people's painful stories can, over time, show similar signs. This is called secondary trauma and is often brushed off as "part of the job".

Let's say a teacher in her forties has been unable to get on a coach since a traffic accident years ago. When a journey is needed she finds excuses and postpones family visits. She explains this herself as "I don't like long journeys." But one day, in the car her husband is driving, she notices that with a sudden brake her breath catches and her hands start shaking. At that moment she begins to consider that what she has for years thought of as a "preference" may actually be avoidance.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Experiencing intense reactions in the first days and weeks after a difficult event is very common and, in many people, eases over time. However, it is important to see a professional in the following situations:

• If the signs have continued for longer than a month after the event or are getting worse,
• If, because of avoidance, you are struggling to keep up with your work, your relationships or your daily life,
• If sleep problems and being constantly on alert are wearing you out,
• If you are trying to suppress your feelings with alcohol or other substances,
• If you think a past experience is affecting your relationships today.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, do not carry them alone; be sure to tell someone close to you and a professional. In emergencies, call 112 (emergency services) or go to the nearest emergency department. If the symptoms are severe, an assessment by a psychiatrist may also be part of the process.

How Are the Signs of Trauma Addressed in Therapy?

The first and most important step in trauma therapy is safety. Before a person is asked to describe the event in detail, they need to feel safe and to gain skills with which they can regulate their body and emotions. Traumatic memories are then addressed at the pace and to the extent that the person is ready for.

Among the approaches whose effectiveness is supported by research in this area are trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy and EMDR. In therapy, work usually focuses on the following areas:

• Making sense of the signs: Seeing that the reactions being experienced are not "going mad" or "weakness" but understandable responses to a difficult experience.
• Regulation skills: Learning to stay balanced in the face of intense emotions using breathing, grounding and body-awareness techniques.
• Processing memories: Lightening the present-day weight of a traumatic memory by addressing it in a safe setting and in a controlled way.
• Reviewing beliefs: Examining thoughts that settled in after the event, such as "It was my fault" or "Nowhere is safe".
• Reconnecting with life: Gradually returning to areas that have been avoided, and rebuilding relationships and daily structure.

Trauma happened in the past, but its signs are lived today; and healing begins precisely today.

You can read about how this is worked on individually on the individual therapy page.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can signs of trauma appear years later?

Yes. In some people the signs become noticeable not straight after the event but months or years later. A new period of stress, a similar event, a loss or life changes such as having a child can bring marks that have long stayed silent back to life.

Is everyone who goes through the same event traumatised?

No. People who go through the same event can react very differently. Many factors determine this difference, such as the person's past experiences, the support they received during and after the event, and how safe they felt. That is why, rather than comparing your reactions with other people's, it is important to take your own experience seriously.

Could I have experienced trauma if I don't fully remember the event?

With traumatic events it is common for memories to be blurred, fragmented or incomplete. However, assuming that an event you do not remember "definitely happened" can also be misleading. The healthiest way is to look at questions like these together with a professional, without jumping to conclusions.

I can see signs of trauma in someone close to me. How should I approach them?

A good start is to show that you are ready to listen when they are ready, without pressing them to talk about the event. Saying "You went through something hard, your reactions make complete sense" instead of asking "Why are you still thinking about this?" builds trust. If the signs continue, gently suggesting that they get support, and going with them for the first step if necessary, can help.

• #trauma
• #psychological trauma
• #triggers
• #avoidance
• #post-traumatic stress

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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