Starting School at 66 Months: Is My Child Ready, or Should We Wait?

How do you decide on starting school at 66 months? Signs of school readiness, the option to defer, being the youngest in the class and what to weigh up first.

Every spring, as the registration period approaches, the same conversation happens outside the kindergarten gates: "Yours is an August birthday, isn't she? Are you going to send her?" For families whose children were born close to September, the question of starting school at 66 months (in Turkey, children who reach 66 months by the end of September are enrolled in the first grade) suddenly takes over the household agenda. The child is bright but can't sit still; curious about reading but still cries at separation; most of their classmates will be almost a year older. In this article we look at what being ready for school really means, when deferring might be considered, and how you can make the decision based on observation rather than anxiety.

Starting School at 66 Months: The Legal Framework in Brief

Under the arrangement applied in Turkey in recent years, children who have completed 66 months by the end of September of the registration year are enrolled in the first grade of primary school. For children just above this threshold, if the parent thinks their child is not yet developmentally ready, there has been the option to defer registration by a year with a written request and to direct the child to preschool education instead. For children of older months, deferral usually depends on additional conditions such as a medical report or an assessment by a guidance and research centre (RAM, the state centres for educational and developmental assessment).

Because these details have changed several times over the years, be sure to check the Ministry of National Education's current announcement and the information from the school where you will register during the registration period. The focus of this article is less on the legal details than on the psychological and developmental side of the decision.

What Does Being Ready for School Mean?

Many families measure school readiness by reading and writing: Does she know her letters, can she write her name, how high can she count? Yet in the first months of first grade, the things children struggle with are often not academic. Being ready for school is a combination of skills across several areas.

Self-care skills

• Can they go to the toilet on their own? Are they comfortable using the school toilet?
• Can they put their coat on and take it off, and put their shoes on even if they cannot tie them?
• Can they open and close their lunchbox and eat their food on their own?

Emotional skills

• Can they be apart from their parent for a few hours?
• When faced with a small disappointment, for example losing at a game or someone else having the coloured pencil they want, can they recover quickly?
• Can they ask an adult for help?

Social skills

• Can they wait their turn and listen to what is being said in a group?
• Can they set up and keep going a game with children their own age?
• Can they follow an instruction given to the group rather than to them personally ("Everyone pick up your bag")?

Attention and readiness to learn

• Can they focus for around fifteen to twenty minutes on an activity they did not choose?
• Can they hold a two- or three-step instruction in mind?
• Can they hold a pencil properly and copy simple shapes?
• Do they show interest in sound games, rhymes and questions like "Which word starts with 'a'?"

Let's say a girl born at the end of August has long since learned her letters and finishes a forty-piece jigsaw on her own. But at kindergarten, when she is "it" in a game she leaves the game in tears; when the teacher gives a general instruction to the class, she looks at her friends to work out what to do; and she goes to the door again and again before her mother arrives. Although this child seems cognitively ready, she may need a little more time in the emotional and social areas. Conversely, a child who knows very few letters but easily sets up games with friends and does not struggle with separation often adapts to first grade more easily than expected.

Notice that reading and writing are not on this list. Reading and writing are the goal of first grade, not a precondition. A child who has learned to read before starting school may get bored in class and struggle in the first months; and if they learned with a method that conflicts with the one the teacher uses, they may have extra difficulty.

Being the Youngest in the Class

What makes families think hardest about starting school at 66 months is that the child will be one of the youngest in the class. The same class may contain a child of 66 months and a child of 77 months. That difference is roughly a sixth of the child's life.

This age gap does not cause problems for every child. Many summer-born children adapt well to first grade. However, in some children the following may be seen more often:

• Academic progress may at times seem slower; this gap usually closes in the following years.
• Feeling inadequate next to older classmates, especially comparisons in body size and physical skills.
• Expectations from the teacher or the family being set according to the child's class rather than their age.
• Reaching adolescence later than classmates; this difference can become visible again in the middle-school years.

None of these possibilities is destiny. The attitude of the family and the teacher largely determines how the age gap affects the child.

Expectations being set according to class rather than age is particularly important. A youngest-in-class child being unable to sit still or finding it hard to sustain attention is sometimes developmentally appropriate for their age. These behaviours may stand out when compared with classmates, yet be ordinary when compared with children of the same age. If you have concerns about attention, making this distinction together with a specialist protects against early and unnecessary labels. For general information on the signs of attention deficit, you can look at our article on signs of attention deficit; but these signs do not on their own mean a diagnosis.

Birth month alone is not decisive

Not every child who turns 66 months at the start of September struggles to the same degree. A summer-born child may be surprisingly ready for the school routine because they grew up with an older brother and sister; another child, born in November and set to be one of the oldest in the class, may struggle markedly with separation and following rules. Birth month is only a starting point. What really decides is the child's current developmental picture.

When Should Starting School at 66 Months Be Deferred?

A decision to defer gives the child another year in preschool education and time to mature developmentally. Some situations in which this decision might be considered are:

• If the child seems clearly behind peers in self-care, separation and emotional regulation
• If the kindergarten teacher, based on their observations, raises concrete concerns about the child's readiness for school
• If the child was born prematurely and their developmentally corrected age still shows a marked difference
• If there is a developmental delay, or an assessment process under way, in speech, motor skills or attention
• If the family is going through a major change at the same time as the start of school (a house move, the birth of a sibling, a separation, a loss)

On the other hand, in some situations deferral may not bring the expected benefit:

• If the child has most of the school readiness skills and is being deferred only because of the parent's anxiety
• If most of the child's friends are starting school and the child very much wants to go
• If the deferral year cannot be spent in a good-quality preschool programme that supports the child's development

If you have decided to defer, make sure this year is a year of development rather than a "waiting year". Identify the areas your child finds difficult together with the kindergarten teacher: perhaps tolerating losing in group games, perhaps separation, perhaps fine motor skills. Plan short, enjoyable activities at home that support these areas, such as board games, cutting with scissors or following a recipe together in the kitchen. Choosing a preschool setting that offers the child new responsibilities and new experiences, rather than going through the same programme a second time, prevents boredom.

The right decision is not trying to fit your child into an age group, but choosing the setting that best suits their development today.

Steps You Can Follow When Deciding

1. Talk to the kindergarten teacher. The observations of a teacher who sees your child in a group every day are very valuable. Instead of "Is he ready for school?", ask concrete questions such as "How does he follow instructions in the group, how does he react to separation and disappointment?"
2. Observe at home for a few weeks. Write down the list above and look at which skills are established in daily life and which ones they struggle with.
3. Separate out your own anxiety. The worry "What if she struggles?", "What if she falls behind the others?" may sometimes have more to do with your own school experience than with your child's real situation. Thinking about what you went through in your own school years helps you make this distinction.
4. Listen to your child. Ask what they feel about school, what they are curious about and what they are wary of. This does not decide the matter on its own, but it is important information.
5. Filter the comments from those around you. Opinions such as "Ours went at 66 months and had no trouble at all" or "Defer, or you'll regret it" are well-meant but are based on another child's experience. Listen to the experience of your neighbour, your cousin or the mothers in the parents' group; but make the decision with your observations of your own child.
6. Ask for a specialist assessment if needed. When you are undecided, a mental health professional who works with children, or a RAM, can carry out a developmental assessment.

If You Have Decided on Starting School: Summer Preparation

If the decision is to start school, the last summer is a good opportunity to prepare without tiring the child out:

• Bring the sleep routine closer to school hours towards the end of the summer.
• Visit the school grounds together, and see the classroom if possible.
• Shop for the school bag, lunchbox and stationery together, leaving room for your child's choices.
• Reinforce skills such as going to the toilet alone, hanging up their coat and opening their lunchbox in everyday life.
• Talk about school realistically and positively; avoid frightening sentences such as "No more playing at school, it's lessons now."

For more detailed suggestions on the first weeks of school, you can look at our article on starting school.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

It can be helpful to get support from a mental health professional who works with children in these situations:

• If you and your partner or family have been unable to agree for a long time on deferring or starting
• If the kindergarten teacher frequently shares concerns about attention, behaviour, speech or social relationships
• If, in the first months after starting school, the child experiences school refusal, tummy aches, sleep problems or intense outbursts of anger
• If the child has started to describe themselves with words such as "stupid" or "I can't do it"

How Is School Readiness Addressed in Therapy?

In referrals about school readiness, the assessment begins with the child's developmental history, observations from kindergarten and the family's concerns. Play-based sessions with the child give information about their emotional maturity, their reaction to separation, how they cope with disappointment and how they sustain attention. Where needed, tests that assess development or school readiness can be used; but no test decides on its own, it gains meaning together with observation and history.

In parent sessions, the possible outcomes of the decision are weighed together. If the decision is to start school, how to support the child at home in the areas they may find difficult is planned. If it is to defer, how this year can be used to support the child's development is discussed.

With children who are anxious, who struggle with separation or who find it hard to regulate their feelings, play therapy can offer a supportive space before school or in the first year of school. For more information, you can look at the child and play therapy page.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a school readiness test, and must I have one done?

School readiness tests assess a child's development in areas such as language, attention, visual perception and basic concepts. They can be useful when you are undecided or when the teacher has raised specific concerns. But the test result on its own is not enough to make a decision; the child's emotional and social development must also be taken into account.

If I defer, will she feel later on that she was held back?

Deferral at this age leaves no noticeable mark for most children, especially if the family presents the decision positively and calmly. Explaining it as "You'll play at kindergarten for one more year, and then you'll go to big school" gives the child a sense of order rather than of something lacking.

Should I teach reading and writing before school starts?

It is not necessary. Instead, reading books to your child, playing with letters and sounds, playing rhyming games and encouraging them to draw with a pencil strengthen readiness for reading and writing. The real learning takes place in first grade, with the teacher's method.

He has started school but is struggling a lot in the first months. What should I do?

Tiredness, reluctance and small regressions are ordinary in the first few months of first grade. Keeping in regular contact with the teacher, clarifying the area the child is struggling with and settling homework into a calm routine at home is usually enough. If the struggle has not eased by mid-term, if the child does not want to go to school or has started speaking negatively about themselves, it is helpful to consult a specialist.

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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