Why does teenage privacy in hospital matter? Read how families and health staff can support a young person who feels embarrassed or left out of decisions.
A fourteen-year-old is lying in a room on the children's ward, its walls covered in cartoon characters. During the morning ward round the door opens, a team of five or six people comes in and their mother explains, "He slept badly again last night, his stomach was hurting." As the doctor lifts the blanket to examine his abdomen, the door is left ajar and another patient's relative walking down the corridor glances in. Nobody asks him, "May I examine you now?" He stares at the ceiling and does not say a word until the round is over. Teenage privacy in hospital is an issue that is often overlooked in the hurried flow of healthcare, yet it deeply affects a young person's experience of illness. In this article I look at why young people can feel treated like small children in hospital, how embarrassment can become a burden, and what families and healthcare staff can do about it.
Why Is Privacy So Important in Adolescence?
Adolescence is a period when the body changes rapidly and this change creates intense self-awareness in the young person. A teenager is extremely sensitive to how their body is seen by others. An examination that an adult might consider routine can turn into a moment of deep embarrassment for a young person.
The need for privacy is not limited to the body. A teenager also wants their information, thoughts and feelings to belong to them. Questions such as who their illness will be shared with, whether their mother or they themselves will speak to the doctor, and who will be in the room directly affect whether the young person feels like an individual. I have written in detail about how identity develops in this period in the article on identity in adolescence.
The need for privacy does not look the same at every stage of adolescence. An eleven- or twelve-year-old may still want a parent present during an examination but feel intensely embarrassed about their body being uncovered. A sixteen- or seventeen-year-old, on the other hand, often cares as much about the privacy of information as about the body: they want to talk to the doctor themselves, to have their results explained to them first and to have a say in decisions. So rather than generalising that "teenagers want this", it is always better to ask the young person in front of you what they want.
Illness and hospital put pressure on almost all of these needs. The young person may have to show their body to others frequently, discuss personal matters with strangers and watch decisions being made by other people.
Where Does Teenage Privacy in Hospital Come Under Strain?
Examinations and medical procedures
Procedures such as undressing for an examination, having parts of the body examined, being weighed and measured can make a young person feel embarrassed. This embarrassment deepens especially when there are many people in the room, the curtain is not drawn, the door is left open or no information is given beforehand.
Crowded ward rounds and teaching hospitals
In teaching hospitals, ward rounds can be crowded. Junior doctors, medical students and nurses may discuss the young person's condition together. The young person may feel like an object while their body and illness are being talked about. This situation, which is part of medical training, can be made much less difficult by talking with the young person beforehand and asking for their consent. Giving a brief explanation before the round, making sure that only the necessary people stay in the room during the examination and speaking directly to the young person are simple but effective steps that healthcare staff can take. Teenage privacy in hospital is protected less by major arrangements than by this kind of everyday care.
Staying on a children's ward
In many hospitals, patients under eighteen are admitted to children's wards. For a sixteen-year-old, staying in a room decorated with brightly coloured pictures, where babies can be heard crying, can feel humiliating. Because of the young children and their families sharing the same room, they may have almost no personal space.
A parent being there all the time
The presence of a mother or father staying as a companion usually provides reassurance. But in adolescence, the young person may not want to talk about certain things in front of their parent. When the doctor directs every question to the parent and the parent answers on the young person's behalf, the young person loses their say over their own illness.
Sharing information
Information about the young person's illness being passed on to relatives, neighbours or the parents of school friends can also be experienced as a breach of privacy. In Turkey, news of an illness spreads quickly through the extended family; a young person who hears about their own diagnosis from a cousin's mother, or sees test results shared in the family WhatsApp group, may feel deep anger and embarrassment.
Photographs are a separate area of privacy. A well-meant photo showing them on a drip or without hair, shared on social media with a note saying "We're waiting for your prayers", means an image that will stay online for years. Friends and acquaintances from school seeing that photo can be a harder experience than the illness itself. That is why you should always ask the young person before sharing their image or information about their illness anywhere. If they say "no", respecting that answer is also part of accepting that they are growing up.
Feeling Treated Like a Small Child, and Embarrassment
Losing their say
One of the complaints young people most often voice about hospital is being talked about rather than talked to. The doctor comes into the room and turns to the parent, the treatment plan is explained to the parent, and the young person then has to ask their mother, "What did the doctor say?"
This can make the young person not only feel worthless in that moment but also become estranged from their own illness. It is hard to take ownership of a treatment plan you were never consulted about. A young person who does not take part in decisions may start to think that treatment is just "the business of my family and the doctors".
Legally, consent for medical procedures for young people under eighteen is usually given by a parent or guardian. But this does not mean the young person's view should not be sought. Informing the young person in a way suited to their age and maturity, answering their questions and listening to their preferences both protects their dignity and increases their involvement in treatment.
Inviting a young person to the decision-making table is not treating them as an adult; it is showing respect to a person who is growing up.
Embarrassment and the experience of illness
Embarrassment is an overlooked but powerful feeling during illness. A young person who felt embarrassed during an examination may not want to go to the next check-up, may hide their symptoms or may shut down during procedures with a tension that shows in their body language. Sometimes this embarrassment is misread as being "stubborn" or "moody".
Embarrassment can also affect the young person's body image. Visible marks such as surgical scars, weight changes related to treatment, tubes or catheters can put further strain on a body image that is already sensitive. I have written separately about the importance of body image in adolescence in the article on body image.
How Can the Family Protect Teenage Privacy in Hospital?
- Don't speak for the young person. When the doctor asks a question, give the young person time to answer. If any information is missing, you can add it afterwards.
- Make room for one-to-one conversations. Suggest yourself that the young person spends a few minutes alone with the doctor: "If you like, we'll wait outside." This shows that you trust them.
- Ask about their preferences before an examination. "Would you like me to stay in the room during the examination, or shall I wait outside?" Some young people want their parent with them and some do not; both choices are valid.
- Decide together who to share information with. Talk with the young person about how much information should be given to relatives, the school or neighbours. The illness is their story.
- Create personal space in the room. Drawing the curtain, letting them wear their own clothes and supporting them in setting up a corner of their own with their phone and headphones are small but effective steps.
- Talk to the healthcare team. You can politely let the team know that the young person is uncomfortable on the children's ward, feels embarrassed during crowded ward rounds or would prefer a healthcare worker of the same gender to be present during examinations. Many healthcare staff respond positively to such requests.
What Should and Shouldn't Be Said?
The sentences below are fictional examples.
Sentences you may want to avoid:
- "Why be embarrassed in front of a doctor? They see a hundred people a day." (It belittles the young person's feeling.)
- "You be quiet, I'll explain; you won't get it right." (It takes away the young person's say.)
- "I told your aunt, and she's going to pray for you." (Sharing information without the young person's consent damages trust.)
- "You're still a child; we make these decisions." (It completely ignores the young person's need to take part.)
Sentences you might try:
- "If anything makes you uncomfortable during the examination, give me a sign and I'll talk to the team."
- "Is there anything you want to ask the doctor? If you like, you can ask first."
- "Who would you like to know about your illness? We'll act accordingly."
- "Let's make this decision together. What you think matters to me."
For Young People: How Can You Use Your Voice?
If you are reading this as a young person, a few small steps may help you feel more comfortable in hospital:
- Note down on your phone the questions you want to ask your doctor; it is completely natural to forget them in the nervousness of a ward round.
- If you feel uncomfortable during an examination, you have the right to say, "Could you draw the curtain?" or "Could you tell me first what you're going to do?"
- When you want to talk to your doctor on your own, you can say so. This is not shutting out your family; it is taking ownership of your health.
- If you don't want information or photos about your illness to be shared, you can tell your family clearly. Explaining why it matters to you at a calm moment helps them understand you better.
- Feeling embarrassed, scared or angry is normal. Telling a nurse, psychologist or family member you trust about these feelings can lighten the load.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
For most young people, the embarrassment and loss of control experienced in hospital may be a temporary difficulty. However, in the following situations it may help to get support from a mental health professional:
- The young person experiencing intense anxiety, bouts of crying or panic at the thought of an examination or hospital
- Refusing to go to check-ups or hiding symptoms
- Withdrawing after a hospital stay, pulling away from friends or not wanting to go to school
- Intense negative thoughts about body image and avoiding looking in the mirror
- Reliving the hospital experience over and over in their mind or having nightmares
If these signs last for weeks and clearly affect daily life, an assessment by a psychiatrist may also be needed. If the young person has thoughts of hopelessness or self-harm, take them seriously; in an emergency, call 112 (emergency services).
How Is the Experience of Teenage Privacy in Hospital Addressed in Therapy?
Therapy offers a safe space where the young person can talk about their hospital experience without being judged. Many young people find it hard to tell even their family about the embarrassment they felt during an examination or their anger at being left out of decisions. In therapy, putting a name to these feelings is the first step in making sense of them.
Within cognitive behavioural therapy, the young person's negative thoughts about hospital and their body ("Everyone was staring at me", "My opinion doesn't matter at all") can be examined. Work can be done on how the young person can express their needs to the healthcare team and their family, and on skills for setting boundaries and speaking up for themselves. Relaxation techniques to reduce anxiety before medical procedures can also be part of this process.
In sessions with the family, the discussion focuses on how to balance protectiveness with the young person's autonomy. In adolescent counselling, the young person's right to confidentiality is also respected; from the start, the young person knows under what conditions what they say in therapy may be shared with their family. During periods when they are still in hospital or find it hard to leave home, sessions can also take place online.
Frequently Asked Questions
My teenager doesn't want me in the room during examinations. Is that right?
In adolescence this wish is very natural and a sign that the young person is growing up. The doctor and the healthcare team will give you information when needed. Respecting this preference can strengthen the trust between you and the young person.
The doctor tells me everything; how much should I tell my teenager?
It is important that young people receive accurate, age-appropriate information about their own illness. To make this happen, ask the doctor to explain things directly to the young person as well. When answering their questions, you can consult the doctor together on anything you do not know.
My teenager is very uncomfortable staying on the children's ward. What can we do?
Depending on the hospital's facilities, there may be rooms set aside for adolescents or more suitable bed arrangements; you can ask the ward manager. Even if this is not possible, creating personal space in the room and letting the young person use their own belongings can reduce the discomfort.
My teenager doesn't want me to share their diagnosis with relatives, but everyone keeps asking. What should I do?
It is important to respect the young person's wishes. You can give relatives a short, polite answer such as, "They're doing well and the treatment is continuing; if they want to share the details, they'll tell you themselves." That way you give people some information while also protecting the young person's privacy.
Bu yazı genel bilgilendirme amaçlıdır; tanı veya tedavi yerine geçmez. Yaşadığınız güçlükler için bir ruh sağlığı uzmanına başvurmanız önerilir. Acil bir durumda lütfen 112'yi arayın.
Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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