What is uncertainty anxiety and why can't we settle when the outcome is unknown? Learn the signs and causes of intolerance of uncertainty and ways to cope.
There are two weeks to go until the KPSS (Turkey's civil service placement exam) appointment results are announced. You are not living these two weeks so much as trying to push your way through them. Dozens of times a day you check online forums, recalculate last year's minimum scores and ask everyone, "Do you think I'll get it?" When someone says "I think you will", you feel relieved for a few minutes, then start again with "What if I don't?" At some point you even notice yourself thinking, "I wish the result would just come back negative so this waiting would end." Uncertainty anxiety is the mind's inability to rest when the outcome of a situation is unknown, its insistence on staying restless until it finds certainty. In this article I look at why some of us find uncertainty so hard to bear, how this shows up in daily life and ways of building a more flexible relationship with uncertainty.
What Is Uncertainty Anxiety?
A large part of life is uncertain. We cannot know for sure what the weather will be like tomorrow, how a job application will turn out, where a relationship is heading or what a health check will reveal. Most people live with this uncertainty one way or another; they feel uncomfortable, but they carry on with their lives.
For some people, however, uncertainty is an experience that is very hard to bear. In psychology this is called intolerance of uncertainty, and it is a much-studied concept in the field of anxiety. For someone who is intolerant of uncertainty, "not knowing" is a dangerous situation in itself. Even when the probability of something negative happening is low, the person is disturbed by the very existence of that probability.
Intolerance of uncertainty plays an important role in many anxiety presentations, generalised anxiety in particular. However, it is not a diagnosis on its own; it is a tendency in thinking and feeling, and everyone has it to varying degrees.
Why does bad news sometimes feel easier than uncertainty?
Research shows that many people find an uncertain negative outcome more stressful than a certain one. Bad news at least gives you the chance to do something: you make a plan, you take action, you grieve. Uncertainty, on the other hand, leaves the mind suspended in "preparation" mode. A mind that tries to prepare separately for every possibility ends up unable to prepare for any of them and becomes exhausted. That is why the feeling "I just wish it were settled, whatever it is" is so common.
What Does Uncertainty Anxiety Look Like? Signs and Behaviours
Intolerance of uncertainty often shows itself through behaviours rather than thoughts. These behaviours bring relief in the short term and feed anxiety in the long term.
- Excessive information gathering: Researching for hours before making a decision, reading dozens of reviews, asking the same question of different sources again and again.
- Reassurance-seeking: Constantly seeking confirmation from loved ones: "Nothing will happen, will it?"
- Checking: Frequently refreshing emails, results pages and parcel-tracking screens.
- Procrastination and avoidance: Never starting a task whose outcome is uncertain; saying "I won't take a step until I'm sure."
- Hasty decisions: On the contrary, being unable to bear the uncertainty and deciding quickly without enough thought, just to end the waiting.
- Over-planning: Planning every detail of holidays, meetings and days in advance; feeling intense unease when the plan falls apart.
- Not handing tasks over: Doing everything yourself out of anxiety about not knowing how things will turn out if someone else does them.
- Avoiding new experiences: Going to the familiar restaurant, taking the familiar route home, never starting a new hobby.
Let us say you have just come out of a job interview and been told, "We'll get back to you next week." On the way home you replay the interview in your head from start to finish, try to decode the HR specialist's facial expression and read employee reviews of the company. In the evening you refresh your email ten times, and the next day you wonder, "Should I call them?" None of these efforts will affect the outcome of the interview; but the mind cannot tolerate waiting without doing something.
What these behaviours have in common is that they are aimed at reducing the feeling of uncertainty. But because life's uncertainty does not diminish, this effort never ends.
Why Do We Find Uncertainty So Hard to Bear?
An unpredictable childhood
Some people grow up in environments where nobody knows what will happen next: a parent who is loving one day and angry the next; homes, schools or cities that change often; sudden financial losses. In such environments a child learns that uncertainty means danger. In adulthood, the belief "If I don't know what will happen, something bad will happen to me" persists.
Shocking experiences you have lived through
A sudden redundancy, an unexpected diagnosis or an earthquake can shake a person's basic trust that the world is predictable. After the 6 February 2023 earthquakes, many people say they have become more sensitive to any kind of uncertainty about the future.
Economic and social uncertainty
Rapid price changes, rent increases, job insecurity and changes in exam systems in Turkey in recent years are making it harder for people to plan for the long term. Will the tenancy be renewed, will the pay rise keep up with inflation, will the system of the exam your child is going to sit change? In such an environment, an increase in uncertainty anxiety is an understandable reaction. The article on anxiety about the future may also be helpful on this.
The belief "If I'm prepared, I'm protected"
Many people who experience uncertainty anxiety believe that thinking through every possibility will protect them: "If I think about it in advance, I won't be caught off guard", "I must be ready for every scenario." This belief leads the mind to scan constantly and never rest.
Perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes
The fear of making the wrong decision makes uncertainty even more unbearable. For someone who says "I must make the right choice", every uncertain situation is a reminder of the risk of making a mistake. That is why uncertainty anxiety and indecisiveness often go hand in hand. You can find this topic in more detail in the article on indecisiveness.
The Cost of Uncertainty Anxiety
The effort to eliminate uncertainty uses up a great deal of energy. While waiting for an outcome, the person practically puts their life on hold: "Once the result is out, I'll plan my holiday", "Once the appointment comes through, I'll meet up with friends." Yet as soon as one uncertainty ends, another begins; life turns into a permanent waiting room.
There is a bodily cost too. Being constantly on alert can show itself in muscle tension, sleep problems, digestive complaints and tiredness. In relationships, constantly asking for reassurance can wear partners and friends out over time. "How many times have I told you, it'll be fine" becomes one of the sentences a person with uncertainty anxiety hears most often, but it is never enough for them.
In relationships, intolerance of uncertainty sometimes shows up in another form as well. Constantly raising the question "What are we, where is this going?" in the first, as yet undefined months of a new relationship can put pressure on the other person. Yet many relationships become clear over time and through being lived; demanding certainty too early can prevent the relationship from developing at its own natural pace.
Uncertainty is not an empty space; it is a page that has not yet been written.
Learning to Live with Uncertainty: Practical Steps
The aim is not to eliminate uncertainty but to be able to live with it more comfortably. Tolerance of uncertainty is a skill that, like a muscle, grows stronger the more you work on it.
List your behaviours in response to uncertainty
For one week, note down the things you do to reduce the feeling of uncertainty: How many times did you refresh a page? How many times did you ask someone? How many hours did you spend researching? This list lets you see concretely how anxiety steers you, and it shows you what to try to cut back on.
Notice the uncertainties you already accept
Every day, without realising it, you live with many uncertainties. You do not know how long the bus you catch in the morning will be stuck in traffic, whether lunch will be tasty or what mood the children will be in when you get home in the evening; yet these uncertainties do not stop you. Writing these small examples down reminds you that you can already bear uncertainty. Seeing the difference between the areas where you struggle and those where you are at ease can show that the problem lies less in the uncertainty itself than in the meaning you give it.
Run small uncertainty experiments
Consciously make room for low-risk uncertainties in daily life. Going to see a film without reading the reviews, eating at a restaurant you don't know, spending the weekend without planning it hour by hour, putting your phone down without expecting an immediate reply to a message. After each experiment, ask yourself: "What did I think would happen, and what did happen? How well could I bear the uncertainty?"
Set a limit on research
Gathering information for a decision is healthy; but beyond a certain point, every new piece of information raises new questions. Set yourself a time or source limit: "I'll research this for half an hour and look at no more than three sources." Then make a "good enough" decision with the information you have.
Don't put life on hold while you wait
While waiting for an outcome, plan things you can do alongside the waiting. Meeting a friend, going for a walk or finishing a small postponed task before the result arrives means you do not hand the waiting period over entirely to anxiety. Try to see the waiting period not as "empty time" but as time that is still being lived. When you look back weeks later, you will want to remember that period for other things too, not just for the waiting.
Postpone the urge to seek reassurance
When the urge to ask "Do you think it'll work out?" comes, postpone it by half an hour. During that time, observe how your anxiety changes. Many people are surprised to see that the anxiety rises and falls and eases even without reassurance.
Notice the feeling of uncertainty in your body
Uncertainty is often felt in the body as tightness, restlessness or being unable to sit still. When you notice this feeling, give it a name: "This is the discomfort of not knowing." For a few minutes, simply observe it without trying to change it. Seeing the discomfort rise and fall like a wave shows you that you can bear it.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Everyone is bothered by uncertainty from time to time. However, in the following situations it can be helpful to get support from a mental health professional:
- If uncertainty anxiety has taken up most of your daily life for months
- If you keep putting off decisions or missing important opportunities
- If checking and reassurance-seeking behaviours are taking up hours of your time
- If the anxiety is accompanied by physical symptoms such as insomnia, muscle tension or digestive problems
- If the worries have spread across many areas and become uncontrollable
If thoughts of harming yourself appear under the weight of uncertainty, this is an emergency and 112 (emergency services) should be called. A psychiatrist can assess whether medication is needed. Building a more flexible relationship with uncertainty is one of the topics worked on regularly in psychotherapy focused on anxiety and panic.
How Is Uncertainty Anxiety Addressed in Therapy?
Uncertainty anxiety is addressed within Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) using well-defined methods.
The first step is for the person to notice the behaviours and beliefs they have developed in response to uncertainty. Beliefs such as "Not knowing is dangerous", "If I'm not prepared, I won't cope" and "Worrying protects me" are examined together. What these beliefs give the person in the short term and what they cost in the long term are discussed.
Next, uncertainty experiments are planned. Through small, controlled steps agreed with the therapist, the person consciously exposes themselves to uncertainty. The aim of these experiments is not to prove that nothing bad will happen, but for the person to experience that they can cope when faced with uncertainty.
Problem-solving skills are also part of this work. Many people who experience uncertainty anxiety feel helpless when they encounter problems. Learning to make step-by-step plans for concrete problems increases a person's self-confidence.
If the roots of the anxiety reach back to an unpredictable environment in childhood, core beliefs such as "The world is unsafe" or "Bad things can happen at any moment", and the experiences in which they formed, can also be worked on from a schema-focused perspective.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is uncertainty anxiety the same as generalised anxiety disorder?
Intolerance of uncertainty plays an important role in generalised anxiety disorder; however, on its own it does not mean that diagnosis. Many people are bothered by uncertainty to varying degrees. A diagnosis can only be made through an assessment by a professional.
How can I stay calm while waiting for a result?
Limiting how often you check, postponing reassurance-seeking and filling the waiting period with meaningful activities all help. Instead of waiting for the anxiety to pass completely, focus on continuing your daily life alongside it. Thinking about what you could do to cope with the result, whatever it turns out to be, can also be reassuring.
Does intolerance of uncertainty occur in children too?
Yes. Some children become very unsettled when their routine is disrupted, ask "What will happen there?" over and over before entering a new setting, or dislike surprises. Giving the child short, calm information in advance helps; but rather than removing every uncertainty for them, it is also important to give them the chance to experience that they can cope with small uncertainties.
Can tolerance of uncertainty be learned?
Yes. Tolerance of uncertainty is a skill that strengthens with regular practice. Consciously making room for small, low-risk uncertainties helps you become more flexible over time when you face bigger uncertainties too.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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