News of violence against women leaves many women with anger, helplessness and ongoing worry for their safety. Read how to carry this weight and stay safe.
Leaving work in the evening, you grip your phone tightly as you walk to the bus stop. The story you read this morning is still on your mind: a woman the same age as you, coming home from work just like you. You listen carefully to the footsteps behind you, you leave your headphones off, and when you get home you send your older sister a message: "I'm home." At night, when you lie down in bed, another story, another name, another photograph lands on your screen, and sleep simply will not come. News of violence against women has become a burden that seeps into the daily lives of many women in Turkey, carrying anger, grief and fear all at once. In this article we look at the effect of this news on mental health, how the anxiety you feel for your own safety works, and how you can protect yourself while carrying this weight.
This article has also been written for you if you are experiencing violence right now. If you feel that you or someone else is in danger, please call 112 (emergency services) immediately. ALO 183 (Turkey's social support hotline) can also provide you with guidance and support.
Why Does News of Violence Against Women Affect Us So Deeply?
Every news story is a name, a face, a life. The woman reading it often sees a part of herself in that story: her age, her neighbourhood, her profession, her relationship or her mother. This identification means the news stops being a distant event and starts to feel like a personal threat.
Several factors strengthen this effect:
- Repetition: Similar stories coming up at frequent intervals strengthens the perception that "It could happen anywhere, at any moment."
- Detail and images: Photographs, videos and detailed accounts shared in the news and on social media become etched in the mind and later return involuntarily.
- Closeness: Learning that the perpetrators are often someone known to the woman, an ex-husband or someone close, can cast a shadow even over relationships in which you feel safe.
- A damaged sense of justice: News about court proceedings and sentences can feed the thought "Nobody is protecting us" and increase helplessness.
That is why the feelings stirred up by news of violence against women are not just a passing sadness; in many women they can turn into a constant state of alertness.
The Feelings the News Creates: Fear, Anger, Grief and Helplessness
Fear
The most direct reaction is fear for your own safety. Hesitating to go out in the evening, photographing the number plate when you get into a taxi and sending it to someone close, not being alone in a lift with a man, sharing your location when you meet someone new: these behaviours are the everyday reflections of this fear.
Anger
Feeling deep anger at injustice, violence and deaths that were not prevented is entirely understandable. This anger can turn into long arguments on social media, tension in family conversations or intense restlessness during the day.
Grief
Mourning women you never knew, remembering their names and reliving the same pain with every new story is a quiet but heavy burden. It may be experienced as part of a collective grief. This grief can intensify again, especially on days of remembrance, when a court case reaches a verdict or when a name stays in the news for a long time. Rather than ignoring your grief, naming it and expressing it through small rituals, such as lighting a candle or attending a commemoration, stops it from becoming stuck inside you.
Helplessness
The thought "Whatever I do, nothing will change" is one of the most wearing feelings in the long run. Helplessness can drain a person's energy and hope; it can affect their plans for the future, their wish to form relationships and even their thoughts about having children.
Your fear has a real basis; but you do not have to let that fear run your whole life.
News of Violence Against Women and Vicarious Trauma
Even if you have not directly experienced a traumatic event, being constantly exposed to what others have gone through can affect your mental health. In psychology this is known as secondary or vicarious trauma. Although it was originally described for professional groups such as health workers, journalists and social workers, intense exposure to news and images can also affect ordinary readers.
Possible signs of vicarious trauma include:
- Images from news stories you have read coming to mind involuntarily
- Nightmares, difficulty falling asleep
- Being constantly on guard, startling easily
- A strengthening belief that the world is an entirely dangerous place
- Emotional numbness or, on the contrary, crying easily
- Finding it hard to trust even the people you love
These signs do not on their own amount to a diagnosis. But if they continue for a long time, it is worth looking at how much your exposure to the news is affecting you. We discuss this subject in a broader framework in our article on vicarious trauma.
How Does Safety Anxiety Affect Daily Life?
Being careful about your own safety is a reasonable attitude towards real risks. But as anxiety grows, daily life may begin to narrow:
- Giving up evening activities, meeting friends or courses
- Turning down a particular job, school or city solely because of safety concerns
- Avoiding meeting new people, dating or forming relationships
- Becoming dependent on your husband, father or brother to accompany you everywhere
- Raising your daughter or niece with intense fear, restricting her freedom excessively
This anxiety affects not only women but also the people around them. Husbands, fathers and brothers may sometimes find it hard to understand the fear of the women they love, or, on the contrary, may restrict them by being overprotective. Listening without belittling the fear, and offering support while respecting a woman's right to make her own decisions, creates a healthier balance within the family.
Let's say your daughter has got into university and wants to go to another city. You, meanwhile, read the news every night and cannot sleep for thinking, "What if something happens to her there?" On the one hand you want to support your daughter's dreams; on the other, you want to protect her. This dilemma is a common experience for many mothers. The answer here is neither to refuse her permission altogether nor to ignore your fear; it is to plan realistic safety measures together, set up a routine for regular contact and address your own anxiety separately.
How Can You Build a Healthy Relationship with the News?
Limit your news consumption
There is a difference between being informed and being constantly exposed. Choose one or two set times during the day to check the news, and stay away from this kind of content especially in the hours before bed. If you would like to read more about the tiredness created by constantly following current events, our article on news fatigue can help.
Stay away from the images
Not opening violent videos and photographs, turning off autoplay on social media and muting accounts that share this kind of content over and over reduce the number of images that enter your mind. To stay informed, a written summary is usually enough.
Turn anger into action
One of the most effective antidotes to helplessness is feeling that you can do something meaningful. Joining women's solidarity networks, volunteering with organisations that work against violence, and telling the women and young girls around you about their rights and where to turn for help transform anger into constructive energy.
Make a realistic safety plan
One way to reduce anxiety is to limit uncertainty with concrete measures. Sharing your location with a few people you trust, knowing whom you will call in an emergency, having quick access to emergency numbers switched on on your phone and knowing about tools such as the police emergency assistance apps all increase your sense of control. Once these measures have been planned, they do not need to be thought through again every time you go out.
Set limits on social media arguments
The arguments that break out on social media after every new story, the comments blaming the victim and the sharp polarisation can add further anger and exhaustion to the pain. You do not have to take part in all these debates. When you want to make your voice heard, doing so at a time and in a way that is meaningful to you is far less draining than spending hours reading comments and writing replies.
Share your feelings
Talking about how this news makes you feel with your friends, your sister, your mother or a circle of women you trust reminds you that you are not alone. Sharing a common feeling makes collective grief more bearable.
Look after your body
Protect your sleep, your eating and your movement. A body that is constantly on alert may react with tiredness, headaches, muscle tension and stomach complaints. Breathing exercises, walking and restful routines help lower the nervous system's level of alarm.
Make room for stories that nourish hope
The stories of women whose lives have been changed by solidarity, of those who have escaped violence and built a new life, and of people working for positive change in society are real too. Seeing not only the pain but also these stories balances your view of the world.
If You Are Not Just Worried, but Experiencing Violence
If this news reminds you not of a distant danger but of a reality you are living in your home or your relationship, what you are going through also deserves to be taken seriously. Besides physical violence, threats, constant control, humiliation, economic pressure and isolation from your social circle are also forms of violence.
- If there is immediate danger, call 112 (emergency services) straight away.
- ALO 183 (Turkey's social support hotline) provides information and guidance to women exposed to violence.
- It is important to tell someone you trust about your situation and to plan a place you can go to in an emergency.
We discuss the psychological processes experienced by women subjected to violence, and the routes to support, in detail in our article on women who experience violence. If thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life cross your mind during this time, please do not stay alone, and call 112.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
It can be helpful to talk to a professional in the following situations:
- If images and thoughts related to the news are noticeably affecting your sleep and your day
- If fear has made you unable to go to work, school or social activities
- If being constantly on guard, startling easily and intense restlessness have continued for weeks
- If you are having sudden attacks of fear, palpitations and shortness of breath
- If you feel hopeless, helpless and without faith in the future
- If a past experience of violence is coming back to life alongside the news
How Are Safety Anxiety and the Effects of the News Addressed in Therapy?
In therapy, it is first acknowledged that your fear has a real and understandable basis. The aim is not to dismiss the anxiety, but to see how far it restricts your life and to find the balance between realistic caution and a fear that narrows life.
With a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach, generalised thoughts such as "I'm not safe anywhere" or "No man can be trusted" are noticed and evaluated from a more balanced perspective. Avoided activities are gradually returned to, while realistic safety measures are kept in place. Work focuses on regulating exposure to the news, body-based calming skills and expressing anger constructively. If there has been an experience of violence or abuse in the past, its connection with today's anxiety is addressed at a safe pace.
If you are looking for a space where you can talk regularly about your own feelings and worries, individual therapy can accompany you through this process.
Frequently Asked Questions
If I stop reading news of violence against women, does that make me insensitive?
No. Limiting your news consumption is not insensitivity but a way of protecting your own mental health. A constantly worn-out mind also loses the energy needed for solidarity and change. Limited, deliberate following of the news is enough to stay informed.
I want to protect my daughter, but I'm wary of passing my fear on to her. What can I do?
Aim to pass on knowledge and skills rather than fear. Talking calmly about safety measures, setting boundaries, the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships and ways of asking for help gives your daughter both safety and self-confidence. Addressing your own anxiety separately is also important in this process.
Since reading this news I can't trust men, and I'm afraid of forming relationships. Will this pass?
This fear can understandably develop through intense exposure to the news and awareness of real risks. Learning to recognise the healthy and unhealthy signs in a relationship, talking about your experiences with people you trust and, if necessary, getting support from a professional can help you rebuild your sense of trust.
I'm thinking of changing my job because of my anxiety. Is that the right decision?
If there are conditions that pose a real risk, such as being alone on a deserted route very late at night, changing them can be a reasonable step. But if the decision is being made only during a period of intense anxiety, it is healthier to first settle the anxiety a little and weigh up the options with a calm mind.
Bu yazı genel bilgilendirme amaçlıdır; tanı veya tedavi yerine geçmez. Yaşadığınız güçlükler için bir ruh sağlığı uzmanına başvurmanız önerilir. Acil bir durumda lütfen 112'yi arayın.
Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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