Women Experiencing Violence: Psychological Support and Your Rights

What can a woman experiencing violence do? A step-by-step guide to ALO 183, 112, KADES, protection orders, safety planning and psychological support in Turkey.

Violence is not only a slap, a shove or a visible bruise. Being constantly humiliated or threatened, having your money controlled, being prevented from seeing your friends and family, and having your phone monitored are also forms of violence. A woman experiencing violence is often caught between fear, shame, guilt and helplessness, not knowing what to do or whom to trust. This article has been prepared to help women who are experiencing violence, and the loved ones who want to support them, understand the psychological effects and learn about the routes that can be taken in Turkey. Let us share the most important information first: if your life is in danger, call 112 (Turkey's emergency services) immediately.

What Can You Do in an Emergency?

At the moment of violence, or in a situation where you sense a danger of violence, the priority is always your safety and that of your children.

• 112 Emergency Call Centre: In case of danger to life, injury or violence in progress, call 112 directly.
• KADES (Women's Support App): Developed by the General Directorate of Security, this mobile phone app allows you to send a call for help with a single tap in an emergency and passes your location to law enforcement. Installing the app on your phone in advance and completing your registration saves time in an emergency.
• ALO 183 (Turkey's social support hotline): You can call for advice and referral in the areas of family, women, children and social services. You can get information about your rights, shelter options and support services.
• Police, gendarmerie or the public prosecutor's office: You can apply directly to report violence and request protection.

If you have been injured, going to a health facility is important both for your health and for documenting the violence.

What Types of Violence Might a Woman Experience?

Violence can appear in different forms, and these forms often occur together. Recognising violence is the first step towards naming what you are going through and moving past the question "Am I exaggerating?"

Physical violence

Behaviours such as hitting, pushing, slapping, strangling, injuring with an object, or restraining by using physical force.

Psychological and emotional violence

This includes constant belittling, insulting, humiliating, threatening, intimidating, extreme jealousy and control, and isolating someone from their social circle. Because psychological violence often leaves no physical marks, it is harder to recognise and to talk about. We cover this topic in detail in our article on emotional abuse.

Economic violence

Preventing you from working, taking your income, refusing to give you money for basic needs, taking out debts in your name, or making you account for every expense are examples of economic violence.

Sexual violence

Being forced into any sexual behaviour you do not want is a form of violence, even within marriage.

Digital violence and stalking

Monitoring your phone, checking your messages, tracking your location, accessing your social media accounts without permission, harassing you with constant messages or calls and following you are also current forms of violence.

What Does a Woman Experiencing Violence Go Through Psychologically?

Experiencing violence deeply shakes a person's sense of safety, their sense of self and their view of the world. Common psychological reactions in this process include:

• Constant vigilance: The sound of a door opening, a certain tone of voice or a message notification can trigger intense fear.
• Anxiety and panic: Palpitations, shortness of breath, sleep problems and constant restlessness.
• Depressive feelings: Hopelessness, worthlessness, lack of motivation and pessimism about the future.
• Guilt and shame: Thoughts such as "I provoked it" and "It's my fault". The person using violence often deliberately feeds these thoughts.
• Self-doubt: Being unable to trust your own perception, with thoughts like "Maybe I'm exaggerating" or "Maybe I'm remembering wrongly".
• Trauma symptoms: Involuntary replaying of events in the mind, nightmares, avoidance of reminders and emotional numbness. You can find information about these symptoms in our article on post-traumatic stress disorder.
• Isolation: Withdrawing from the social circle because of the abuser's efforts to isolate and because of shame.

These reactions are understandable responses to an extraordinary and threatening situation. They are not a sign of weakness or "oversensitivity".

You are not responsible for the violence you have experienced. The only person responsible for violence is the person who uses it.

The cycle of violence: why is leaving so difficult?

People looking from the outside often ask, "Why doesn't she leave?" Yet leaving a violent relationship can be extremely difficult for many reasons.

Violent relationships generally move through a cycle: a period of rising tension, then an incident of violence, then a calm period filled with remorse, apologies and promises that "it won't happen again". This calm period creates hope, but the cycle often repeats and can become more frequent over time.

The main factors that make leaving harder are:

• Fear: The worry that an attempt to leave might escalate the violence. Periods of separation really can be periods when risks increase, which is why safety planning is so important.
• Economic dependence: For a woman with no income of her own, or one experiencing economic violence, worries about housing and making a living can be a major obstacle.
• Children: The thought "I don't want my children to grow up without a father", or worries about custody.
• Pressure from family and community: Social judgements such as "Be patient", "It happens in every home" and "What does a divorced woman do?"
• Emotional attachment: Still feeling love or attachment towards the person using violence and holding hope that they will change.
• Isolation: Having been cut off from people around you and not knowing whom to turn to.

Understanding these factors is important for supporting, rather than judging, a woman experiencing violence. Many women try or think about leaving more than once before deciding to go. This is not indecision or weakness; it is part of trying to protect yourself and your children in a process full of fear, hope and real obstacles. When the people around her offer patient support and keep the door open, instead of comments like "You went back last time too", it makes it easier for the woman to ask for help again when she needs it.

Your Rights Against Violence and the Institutions You Can Turn To

Turkey has legal protection mechanisms against violence against women. Law No. 6284 on the Protection of the Family and Prevention of Violence Against Women regulates measures to protect people who are experiencing, or are at risk of experiencing, violence.

Protective and preventive measures

Under this law, you can request protection by applying to law enforcement, the public prosecutor's office or the family court. The measures that can be ordered include removing the person using violence from the home, banning them from approaching you, preventing them from contacting you and providing you with shelter. Documentation of the violence may not be required for a protection order; what matters is that you make your application.

Where you can apply

• Police and gendarmerie: To report violence and request urgent protection.
• Public prosecutor's office and family courts: For complaints and requests for protective measures.
• Violence Prevention and Monitoring Centres (ŞÖNİM): For psychological, legal and social support, referral and monitoring services.
• Women's shelters: For safe accommodation; you can get information through ALO 183.
• Bar associations: They provide legal aid for those with insufficient means.

You do not need to wait for violence to reach a certain severity before using these routes. Psychological or economic violence can also be a reason to apply. Describing what you have been through can feel hard during the application; having a person you trust beside you or taking short notes beforehand can make it easier.

For detailed and up-to-date information about legal procedures, it is recommended that you seek support from a lawyer or from the legal aid office of the bar association.

Safety Planning: Practical Steps to Protect Yourself

It is important to make a safety plan whether you are in a violent relationship, preparing to leave or have already left.

1. Install KADES and complete your registration. If you think your phone is being checked, also think about how to keep the app secure.
2. Identify people you trust. Agree a "code word" with one or two people you could call in an emergency and, if necessary, go to.
3. Prepare important documents. Keep copies of documents such as your ID, your children's IDs, health records and bank details in a safe place.
4. Prepare an emergency bag. You can keep a bag containing some money, a spare key, medication and a few clothes at the home of someone you trust.
5. Know the risky areas in the home. During arguments, try to stay away from areas such as the kitchen where sharp objects are kept, and stay close to an exit.
6. Document the violence. If possible, keep photographs of injuries, threatening messages and medical reports in a safe place.
7. Prepare your children. In a way suited to their age, teach them where to go in a moment of danger and how to call 112.
8. Review your digital security. Change your passwords and check your location-sharing settings.

Take a woman who has been constantly humiliated throughout her marriage and has recently experienced physical violence. She does not know what to do and is ashamed to tell her family. She calls ALO 183 to learn her rights, installs KADES on her phone and makes a safety plan with a friend she trusts. Although these steps do not solve everything at once, they can help her feel less helpless and plan the next steps. This fictional example shows that even small steps can strengthen a sense of safety and control.

Children who witness violence

Children who witness violence at home are deeply affected even if they are not directly exposed to it. Reactions can include sleep problems, regressions such as bedwetting, attention problems at school, angry outbursts, withdrawal or trying to protect their mother. It is important to tell children that what happened is not their fault, to try to provide a safe routine and, if necessary, to get support from a specialist who works with children.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

A woman experiencing violence deserves psychological support whatever the type or duration of the violence. You do not need to wait until things are "bad enough" to get support. It is especially important to talk to a specialist in the following situations:

• If you keep reliving what happened in your mind and have nightmares,
• If you experience intense anxiety, panic or a constant state of alertness,
• If you feel worthless, hopeless or guilty,
• If you find it hard to decide whether to leave or stay,
• If you notice signs in your children linked to witnessing violence.

If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, or if your life is in danger, call 112 without delay. ŞÖNİMs and ALO 183 can also refer you to psychological support services.

How Is the Experience of Violence Addressed in Therapy?

In psychotherapy after violence, the priority is always safety. The therapist first assesses whether the person is safe right now and, if necessary, helps with safety planning and referral.

In the therapy process, the following areas can be worked on:

• Building a safe relationship: Being listened to without judgement is the first step in recovery for many women who have experienced violence.
• Working with guilt and shame: The source of "it's my fault" thoughts is understood and it becomes clear that responsibility lies with the person using violence.
• Working with trauma symptoms: Trauma-focused cognitive behavioural approaches can be used to process the mental impact of what happened and to cope with triggers.
• Rebuilding self-worth: Work is done on the marks left by having been belittled for a long time.
• Decision-making and rebuilding: The person is supported in rebuilding their life at their own pace and through their own decisions.

In relationships where violence is ongoing, couples therapy is generally not recommended, because this setting may put the person experiencing violence at greater risk. In this case the priority is individual support and safety. Individual therapy can be carried out face to face or online once safety conditions are met; in online sessions it is important that the person is in a place where they are safe and alone while speaking.

Frequently Asked Questions

If there is no physical violence, do I still count as having experienced violence?

Yes. Psychological, economic, sexual and digital violence are violence too. Being constantly humiliated, threatened, controlled and isolated can have deep effects on mental health and is also defined as violence under Law No. 6284.

How does the KADES app work?

KADES is a mobile app developed for women by the General Directorate of Security. After registration, a call for help can be made with a single tap in an emergency, and your location is passed to law enforcement. It is important to install the app in advance and complete the registration.

I want to leave my abusive partner but I'm afraid. What should I do?

This fear is entirely understandable and should be taken seriously. Before leaving, speaking with ALO 183, a ŞÖNİM or a lawyer to learn your rights and the protective measures available, and making a safety plan with people you trust, can help reduce the risks. In a moment of immediate danger, call 112.

How can I support a friend who is experiencing violence?

Listen to her without judging, tell her that what she has been through is not her fault and respect her decisions. Remind her of the resources she can turn to (112, ALO 183, KADES), but do not pressure her. Do not overlook your own safety either.

• #violence against women
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• #safety plan
• #trauma

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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