How can you build a flexible but secure routine for children in the summer holidays? Practical tips on sleep, screen time, boredom and working parents.
On the June day when school reports are handed out, there is a festive mood at home: school bags are put away in the cupboard, the alarm clock is silenced, plans of "I'm going to sleep in loads this summer" are made. Two weeks later the picture has changed. The child sleeps until noon, sits in front of the tablet until midnight and keeps coming into the kitchen during the day saying, "I'm bored." For working parents, the real question is a different one: with no school, whom will the child spend the day with, and how? Children in the summer holidays suddenly step out of the external structure school provides, and this gap can become an opportunity for rest and discovery when it is used well, or turn into restlessness and conflict when it isn't. In this article we talk about how a flexible but reassuring routine can be built during the long break, about screen time, boredom and preparing for the return to school.
Why Do Children in the Summer Holidays Need a Routine?
A holiday, as the word says, is for resting, and after the intense pace of the school year children genuinely need to unwind. But resting is not the same as spending completely unstructured time. Children, especially at a young age, feel secure when the day has a certain flow. Knowing when meals will be eaten, when they will go out and when they will go to bed gives them a sense that the world is predictable.
The possible effects of a completely unstructured summer on a child include:
- A disrupted sleep pattern: Going to bed late and getting up late can, over time, lead to restlessness, low energy during the day and irritability.
- Screens filling the gap: Unstructured time slides towards the most easily available stimulus, that is, the screen.
- More conflict: Fights between siblings, friction with parents and moans of "What shall I do?" become more frequent.
- A harder return to school: Starting school in September becomes more of a jolt, both physically and emotionally.
The aim here is not to turn the summer into an extension of school. The aim is to create a flexible framework in which the child can both rest and feel safe.
A Flexible Daily Plan for Children in the Summer Holidays
Rather than a strict timetable, it is usually enough for the day to have certain "anchor points". Flexibility can be left around these points.
Wake-up and bedtimes
It is natural for sleep times to shift by about an hour compared with term time. But rather than going to bed and getting up at different times every day, it is important to stay within a reasonable and consistent range throughout the holiday. On hot summer evenings, falling asleep can be harder; a cool shower before bed, a darkened room and a calm activity ease this transition.
Three slices to the day
For many families a simple three-part structure works:
- Morning: The hours when body and mind are fresh. Reading, a small summer project, a course, or getting moving outside before the heat sets in.
- Midday: The hottest hours. Calm activities at home, rest, free play and limited screen time.
- Late afternoon and evening: When it cools down, the park, the beach, cycling, meeting friends and then a family meal.
This structure can be shaped according to age and the family's circumstances. What matters is that the child roughly knows what will happen during the day.
Involve your child in planning
Sitting down with your child at the start of the week and talking about "What do we want to do this week?" increases their sense of responsibility and co-operation. School-age children can prepare a weekly plan chart: the library on Monday, a picnic in the park on Wednesday, family film night on Friday evening, and so on. A child who takes part in planning is also more willing to carry it out.
Make room for movement and the outdoors
During term time, PE lessons, break times and the journey to school give a child a natural space for movement during the day. In the summer holidays a child loses most of these opportunities, and without anyone noticing, much of the day can be spent sitting down. It helps to make going outside at least once a day, early in the morning or in the cool of the late afternoon, a fixed habit. Skipping in the local park, playing ball in the garden of the housing complex, riding a bike or going to a nearby walking path don't require expensive activities. Movement both supports sleep quality and is a natural way of releasing restlessness that builds up during the day. When time is spent by the sea or at a pool, it is important to go over safety rules again every year and never to leave a child unsupervised near water.
How Can Screen Time Be Balanced in the Summer Holidays?
In the summer months, screen time is one of the worries parents experience most often. With no school, hours spent in front of a tablet, computer or phone both reduce a child's movement and can lower their interest in other activities.
To strike a balance, you could try the following:
- Fit screens into a particular slice of the day: For example, one or two hours in the hot midday period. When the screen stops being something that "can be switched on at any moment", bargaining decreases.
- The "first, then" rule: First play outside, read a book or do a household task; then the screen.
- Use in a shared space: Especially for young children, using screens in shared areas such as the living room makes it easier to keep track of content.
- Screen-free time before bed: Switching off screens at least an hour before bed supports the transition to sleep.
- Review your own screen use: Children observe their parents' relationship with the phone; setting screen-free hours as a family is fairer and more effective.
The screen is not entirely an enemy; a documentary watched together, a game played with siblings or a video watched to learn a new skill can be enriching. The problem is when the screen replaces every other activity. If you feel screen use has got out of control, our article on screen addiction offers a more detailed framework.
How Should You Respond to "I'm Bored"?
This is perhaps the sentence heard most often in the summer holidays. When many parents hear it, they tend to offer a solution straight away, find an activity or switch on the screen. Yet boredom is a valuable experience for a child.
A bored child has to turn to their inner world, invent a new game, use an old toy for a different purpose. Creativity, problem-solving and the ability to occupy oneself often develop precisely in these gaps. For more information on the role of play in development, you can take a look at our article on play in child development.
So rather than offering a programme the moment you hear "I'm bored", you could approach it like this:
- Acknowledge the feeling: "You're bored, I understand. Sometimes we get bored."
- Hand the ball back to the child: "Would you like to think about what you could do? Maybe you'll come up with something."
- Prepare an "idea jar": At the start of the holiday, write activities on small slips of paper together with your child: building a house from a cardboard box, growing plants on the balcony, a paper aeroplane race, drawing their own comic, baking biscuits in the kitchen. When the child is bored, they draw a slip from the jar.
- Keep materials within reach: Having materials such as paints, paper, scissors, old clothes, Lego or jigsaws where the child can easily reach them encourages play on its own.
Boredom is not an empty space but the door to the place where a child finds their own ideas; that door shouldn't be closed with a screen every time.
For children who are constantly bored, enjoy no activity and for whom this isn't limited to the holidays, a different assessment may be needed; we address this in detail in our article on a child who is always bored.
The Summer Holidays for Working Parents
The summer holidays are a serious logistical problem for families where both parents work. The daytime care school provides disappears, and the question of where and with whom the child will be all day comes to the fore.
In Turkey, many families get support from the extended family during this period: children spend the summer with a grandmother, in the village or at a summer house. This arrangement gives a child the chance to be close to nature, spend time with cousins and bond with their grandparents. But being apart from a parent for a long time can cause longing and difficulty adjusting, especially in young children. In this case the following can help:
- Keeping the length of the separation reasonable for the child's age
- Planning regular video calls and weekend visits
- Talking in advance with the grandparents about basic rules (sleep, screens, food)
- Telling the child clearly where they are going, for how long, and when you will see each other again
Summer schools, sports courses or the council's free activities are also an option. The point to watch here is not to fill the child's day with too many activities. A child rushing from course to course from morning to evening can experience in the holidays a tiredness similar to that of the school year. There should also be time every day for free play and rest.
Where a parent works from home, the child needs to learn the concept of "working hours". A sign hung on the door, short periods to spend together during set breaks, and independent activities the child can do in this time prepared in advance allow the parent to focus on their work and stop the child from feeling neglected.
Preparing for the Return to School
The second half of August is a good time to start moving gradually back into the school routine. A few small steps during this period help September start more smoothly:
- Gradually bringing wake-up and bedtimes closer to the school routine
- Warming up the mind with a short spell of reading or a fun learning activity each day
- Doing the school shopping together with the child and talking about changes such as a new class or a new teacher
- Listening to their worries about school and responding to them without belittling them
For children who will start a new school, move up a stage, or enter an exam year such as the LGS (Turkey's national high-school entrance exam), this preparation is even more important. These children need both rest and emotional preparation in the last weeks of the summer.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
The disruption and moaning seen in the summer holidays are usually temporary. In the following situations, however, consulting a professional may be helpful:
- If your child has clearly withdrawn into themselves during the holiday, doesn't want to see friends and has lost interest in activities they used to enjoy
- If they show intense anger, aggression or restlessness when screen use is limited
- If their sleep pattern has turned completely upside down and doesn't improve despite every effort to adjust it
- If intense anxiety, tummy aches or bouts of crying appear as the return to school approaches
- If a child who has been apart from a parent for a long time shows marked separation anxiety that continues after they return
These signs do not on their own mean a diagnosis; they may show that the difficulty the child is experiencing needs to be understood more closely.
How Are Holiday-Period Difficulties Addressed in Therapy?
For some children, the holiday period is a time when difficulties that went unnoticed throughout the school year become visible. In children who struggle to regulate themselves when structure disappears, who avoid social settings or who become excessively attached to screens, it is important to understand the emotional needs behind these behaviours.
In the assessment process, the child's functioning during the day, their emotional regulation skills and relationships within the family are addressed. A realistic daily plan is created together with the parents, and consistent rules on screen use are set. In the process of child and play therapy, the child has the opportunity, through play, to express their feelings and strengthen their skills in occupying themselves and adapting to new situations. Since the summer months are a period without the load of school, they can also be a suitable time to begin this kind of work.
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I make my child study during the summer holidays?
An intensive study programme is usually not necessary and can overshadow the child's need for rest. That said, daily reading, gamified maths activities or a small project on a subject the child is interested in keep the habit of learning alive. If the teacher has recommended summer work, doing it in small chunks is enough.
My child will spend the summer with their grandfather in the village; I'm worried our rules will fall apart.
Rules being a little different at the grandparents' home usually doesn't cause a child problems, and this experience has its own particular value. Talking in advance about core matters such as sleep, safety and screens is enough. On their return, getting used to the routine at home again within a few days is usually easy.
My child is very grumpy after the holiday. Is this normal?
A few days of restlessness, tiredness and difficulty adjusting after a holiday are very common. Giving the child time for this transition, slowly rebuilding the routine and making room for them to talk about their feelings is usually enough. If the restlessness goes on for weeks, a closer assessment may be needed.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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