Turks Working in the Gulf: Isolation and Long Working Hours

How can Turks in the Gulf cope with long hours, a hot climate, a sense of temporary life and distance from family? Practical tips and online therapy in Turkish.

You may be working on a construction project in Dubai, in a hotel in Doha, in a hospital in Riyadh or at an engineering firm in Abu Dhabi. Turks in the Gulf often set out with a good job opportunity, a career step, or the goal of providing a better future for their family. Behind the gleaming skyscrapers, modern shopping malls and sunny days, there may be another reality too: long working hours, a life spent indoors because of the heat, relationships put off with the feeling of "I'll only be here a few years anyway", and years spent far from family. In this article we look at the possible effects of working in the Gulf countries on mental health, the signs to watch for, and concrete steps you can take to look after yourself.

What Are Turks in the Gulf Experiencing? A Different Face of Life Abroad

Migration to the Gulf countries differs in some respects from migration to Europe or North America. Many people are there not to settle permanently but to work for a set period. This feeling of "temporariness" can be both a comfort and a strain.

Some of the common experiences are these:

• Long and intense working hours: In some sectors working hours may be long and days off limited. The line between work and private life can blur.
• Climate and indoor living: The intense heat for much of the year makes it hard to spend time outdoors during the day. A life spent between home, car, office and shopping mall can create a feeling of confinement over time.
• Living apart from family: Some workers come alone, leaving their spouses and children in Turkey. This can create feelings of longing, guilt and disconnection both in the one who has gone and in those who have stayed.
• A multinational but temporary social circle: It is possible to meet people from many different countries; but because people come and go often, it can be hard to form lasting friendships.
• Cultural and social rules: Adapting to the rules, customs and social norms of the country you live in can require attention and energy, especially in the early period.

Added to this is linguistic diversity. A daily life in which English is spoken at work, Arabic on the street and Turkish at home can be mentally tiring, especially in the first months. The person may find themselves "translating" a little in every setting; this leads to an unnoticed build-up of tiredness by the end of the day.

These experiences are not lived with the same intensity by everyone. Some people find life in the Gulf orderly, safe and satisfying. But if tiredness and loneliness accumulate over a long time, they can leave a noticeable mark on mental health.

Signs of Isolation and Burnout

When long working hours and a limited social life come together, a person may feel stuck in a "work-home cycle". It can be useful to pay attention to the following signs:

• Feeling that you cannot rest even on your days off
• Your chest tightening when you think about going to work in the morning
• Saying "everything's fine" while talking to your family on the phone and then feeling crushed after hanging up
• Sleep problems, waking often at night or getting up tired in the morning
• Reluctance to see people, spending free time in front of a screen
• Overreacting to small things, impatience and anger
• Constantly putting off today with the thought "I'll save up and go back"
• Physical complaints such as headaches, back pain and stomach problems
• Declining interest in hobbies you used to enjoy

These symptoms alone do not amount to a diagnosis. But if they last for weeks and make everyday life harder, it is important to take them seriously. For more detailed information about burnout, you can read the article on burnout syndrome.

Why Turks in the Gulf Struggle

The psychology of postponement. The thought "This is temporary, I'll go back in a few years" can make it hard for a person to put down roots where they are. Things like making friends, taking up a hobby or setting up a home are put off with "I'll be leaving anyway". But those few years can stretch out, and the person may realise they have spent a significant part of their life "on hold".

The weight of the provider role. Many people come to the Gulf to provide a better life for their family. The thought "I'm struggling here but at least they'll be comfortable" is as valuable a sacrifice as it is a way of constantly suppressing one's own needs. In Turkish culture, the expectation, especially of men, to carry the responsibility of "providing for the family" alone can add to the emotional load.

Job security and status worries. In some countries, the fact that a residence permit is tied to the job can magnify the fear of losing it. This worry can make it hard to set boundaries at work, to say "no" to overtime or to voice problems.

Having no one to share feelings with. In a multinational work environment it is possible to get on well with people; but to talk about a mother's illness, problems in a marriage or childhood memories, a deeper and safer bond is usually needed.

Taboo and shame. Sentences such as "You earn so much, what are you missing?" or "A real man doesn't complain" can delay admitting that you are struggling and asking for help. We cover this subject in detail in the article on stigma while living abroad.

Effects on Family and Relationships

For a significant share of Turks working in the Gulf, family relationships are conducted from a distance. This creates difficulties specific to the relationship:

• The spouse who stays in Turkey may feel tired and alone while running childcare, housework and daily decisions single-handedly.
• The spouse abroad may feel cut off from their family's life, and may feel the pain of watching their children grow up on a screen.
• Children may express a parent's absence in different ways: withdrawal, anger, attention problems at school, or behaving distantly towards the parent when they come.
• Short periods of leave are often spent with great expectations. On these days, when everyone tries to make up for everything, tension and disappointment can also arise.

Suppose a father who has been working in the Gulf for two years comes home on leave and notices that his seven-year-old son does not hug him as he used to. Instead of interpreting this as "he doesn't love me", understanding that the child needs time to get used to him again, and spending pressure-free, play-filled time with him, can help repair the relationship. Small rituals such as regular short video calls between visits, reading the child an audiobook or playing an online game together can also keep the bond alive. Couples therapy can be an option for tensions in a long-distance relationship.

What You Can Do on Your Own

1. Say "I live here too". Even if it is temporary, build a small life where you are: buy a plant for your home, create a corner you love, find a café or gym you go to regularly.
2. Protect your days off. Try to spend your weekly day off away from work emails and messages. Plan the day for rest, social contact and an activity that gives you pleasure.
3. Make a movement plan that suits the heat. Options such as walking early in the morning or in the cool of the evening, or an indoor pool or gym, help you keep your body moving.
4. Do not put off building social connections. Turkish communities, friends of different nationalities at work, sports or hobby groups; aim for at least one real conversation a week.
5. Deepen communication with family. Do not leave your calls at the level of "how are you, we're fine". From time to time share how you really feel and what is making things hard for you.
6. Make a "why am I here" list. Write down your reason for coming to the Gulf, your goals and how close you have come to them. This list provides motivation and also shows you when you need to reassess.
7. Prioritise sleep. If you work shifts or long hours, take care to keep your sleep times as regular as possible and your bedroom dark and cool.
8. Name your feelings rather than suppressing them. Noticing your feelings with simple sentences such as "I'm tired", "I miss them", "I feel hurt" is the first step in managing them.
9. Have your emergency information ready. Find out in advance the emergency number of the country you are in, the nearest hospital and what your workplace health insurance covers.

Living in a temporary place does not mean your life is temporary too; today is worth living as well.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

You might consider getting support from a mental health professional in the following situations:

• If tiredness, lack of motivation or unhappiness has continued for more than two weeks
• If your work performance has dropped or going to work is becoming harder
• If you are experiencing insomnia, panic attacks or intense anxiety
• If you have started turning to alcohol or other substances to relax
• If your relationships with your spouse or children have become seriously strained
• If a big decision such as returning to Turkey or staying has been weighing on you for a long time

If you have thoughts of harming yourself or ending your life, do not wait; call the emergency number of the country you are in or go to the nearest emergency department. Since emergency numbers can vary from country to country in the Gulf, it is important to find out this number in advance and save it on your phone. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service; in cases of severe risk, local emergency services and psychiatric services are necessary.

The healthcare services in the country where you live and the support programmes offered by your workplace are important resources. Online therapy in your mother tongue is an option that can be used alongside them.

How Does Online Therapy in Your Mother Tongue Work?

For someone who works all day in English or another language in a multinational setting, being able to talk about their feelings in Turkish in the evening can be a relief. Being able to say things like "I don't tell my wife anything so as not to burden her" or "My father worked abroad for years too, and now I'm putting my children through the same" without having to explain their cultural and family meaning can make the therapeutic relationship easier. This may not hold for everyone; but it is an option worth knowing about.

Work in online therapy in your mother tongue usually proceeds like this:

• Assessment: Your working conditions, family structure, reasons for migrating and the difficulties you are experiencing are discussed.
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques: Thoughts such as "If I complain I'll look weak" or "It's all my responsibility" are noticed and more balanced alternatives are developed.
• Behavioural activation: Small activities that bring pleasure and meaning are planned in order to break the work-home cycle.
• Stress management: Breathing exercises, relaxation techniques and boundary-setting skills are worked on.
• Long-distance relationship work: Where needed, communication is strengthened through sessions that spouses attend together.
• Support with decision-making: For big decisions such as extending a contract, bringing the family over or returning to Turkey, we can work together to weigh the pros and cons on calm ground.

The aim of therapy is not to take you away from life abroad or from your job; it is to help you feel more balanced, more connected and less alone within the conditions you are in. For some clients even a few sessions can be useful for naming feelings and clarifying priorities; others need longer-term work. The duration and frequency are decided together, according to your needs.

The time difference between the Gulf countries and Turkey is generally small, which can make it easier to plan session times. If you have a busy work schedule you can choose your day off or the time after work. All you need for sessions is a quiet, private room, headphones and a secure internet connection; in shared accommodation you may need to arrange a car or a quiet room. Payment is made online; pricing is in TL and payment by international card is possible. For insurance reimbursement you need to check your own insurance terms. For detailed information, you can see the page for Turks living abroad.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is online therapy practical for Turks in the Gulf?

The fact that the time difference is usually small can make online therapy easier to plan for Turks in the Gulf. What matters is being able to set aside a regular, private time for the session. In busy working periods, session frequency can be rearranged together.

My family is in Turkey; can couples therapy be done remotely?

Even when spouses are in different countries, online couples sessions can be planned. It is important for both sides to have a quiet setting and a secure connection.

I am just tired; do I need therapy for that?

Not every tiredness calls for therapy. But tiredness that does not pass with rest, lasts for weeks and narrows your life can be a sign of conditions such as burnout or depression. In that case, talking to a specialist can help you understand what you are going through.

Will what I share reach my employer?

What is shared in therapy is subject to the principle of confidentiality and is not shared with your employer without your permission. The legal limits of confidentiality are discussed openly in the first session.

• #Gulf countries
• #long working hours
• #isolation
• #life abroad
• #online therapy

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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