What Is Gestalt Therapy? The Empty Chair and the Here and Now

What is gestalt therapy and how is the empty chair technique used? Learn about awareness, unfinished business and the here-and-now principle, with examples.

There is an empty chair in front of you. The therapist asks, "If your father were sitting there right now, what would you want to say to him?" At first this may feel a little artificial, even strange. But after a few sentences you may notice your voice changing, and something you have been unable to say for years coming to the tip of your tongue. This scene is an example of the technique most closely associated with gestalt therapy: empty chair work. But the approach is much more than a single technique. In this article we look at where the gestalt approach comes from, what the "here and now" principle means, how the empty chair and other techniques are used, who it may suit, and what to be careful about.

What Is Gestalt Therapy?

Gestalt therapy is a humanistic, experience-focused psychotherapy approach developed in the 1940s and 1950s by Fritz Perls, Laura Perls and Paul Goodman. "Gestalt" is a German word meaning "whole", "form" or "pattern". The name rests on an idea from the psychology of perception: we perceive the world not as separate pieces but as meaningful wholes, just as we immediately see three dots on a page as a triangle.

Therapists who adopt this approach apply the same idea to human experience. A person's thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and relationship with their surroundings are not separate from one another but parts of a whole. To understand someone, it is necessary to look not only at what they think but also at how they hold their hands as they say it, how their breathing changes, and how they make contact with the therapist in the room.

The core aim of this approach is to increase awareness. In this view, change comes about not through what a person is trying to become but through fully noticing what they are right now. This idea is known as the "paradoxical theory of change": the more we try to force ourselves to change, the more resistance grows; when we accept and fully experience how we are, change begins of its own accord.

The Key Concepts of Gestalt Therapy

The here and now

The most widely known principle of gestalt therapy is bringing attention to the present moment. This does not mean the past is unimportant; rather, the past is approached through how it is lived today. To someone recounting, "My mother always criticised me," the therapist might ask, "As you tell me this, what is happening in your body right now?" In this way the memory stops being a story and becomes something that can be worked with as part of present experience.

Awareness

Awareness means noticing one's own feelings, needs and bodily sensations, and how one makes contact with one's surroundings. Therapists use "What?" and "How?" questions more than "Why?". The question "Why are you angry?" invites explanation, defensiveness and intellectual talk. The question "Where do you feel your anger right now?" invites the experience itself.

Unfinished business

Words left unsaid, goodbyes that never happened, anger or hurt never expressed remain in the mind like "an open file". In this approach these are called "unfinished business". This business seeps into a person's current relationships, for example hearing the voice of a critical parent they never confronted again, years later, in every piece of feedback at work.

Interruptions to contact

According to gestalt theory, a healthy person notices their needs and meets them by making contact with their surroundings. But this cycle can be interrupted by certain habits:

• Introjection: Swallowing rules from others without questioning them, such as "A girl doesn't raise her voice."
• Projection: Attributing one's own feelings to someone else, such as a person who does not recognise their own anger finding everyone hostile.
• Retroflection: Turning towards oneself a feeling that should be directed at someone else, such as being hard on oneself rather than on the person one is angry with.
• Confluence: Being unable to separate one's own wishes from someone else's, such as saying "We like it this way" without knowing what one wants oneself.
• Deflection: Avoiding the intensity of contact by changing the subject, turning things into a joke or avoiding eye contact.

How Is the Empty Chair Technique Used?

The empty chair has become the symbol of the gestalt approach. The person imagines that someone they want to talk to is sitting in the empty chair opposite and speaks to them directly. This could be a parent, a former partner, a loved one who has died or a part of the person themselves.

Imagine a woman who lost her father during the pandemic and, because of hospital restrictions, could not say goodbye or even attend his funeral. Years have passed, but a feeling that "we never made our peace" (what is called "helalleşmek" in Turkish, the mutual granting of forgiveness before death) sits inside her like a stone. When the time is right, the therapist might suggest she imagine her father in the empty chair and say what she could not say. She begins with hesitant sentences, then the tears come: "I couldn't see you one last time, I couldn't hold your hand." The therapist then says that, if she wishes, she could try moving to her father's chair and speaking from his place. This change of seat allows a person to hear the father they carry inside, and perhaps to say to themselves the words they needed to hear.

This technique can be a powerful experience for many people who are stuck in grief. For more on the natural course of grief and when it becomes complicated, you can read our article on the grieving process.

There are some aspects of empty chair work that call for care:

• Because it brings strong feelings to the surface, it should not be rushed before enough trust has formed in the therapeutic relationship.
• If the person does not want to do it, they are not pushed; saying "This feels artificial to me" is also discussed as part of the work.
• The session is closed by giving the person time to collect themselves, rather than leaving them in the middle of intense feelings.
• Working with a lost loved one or a hurtful person does not require confronting or reconciling with that person in real life. The aim is to lighten the burden the person carries inside.

The power of the empty chair lies in the fact that, even though no one is sitting there, the words spoken feel as though they truly reach someone.

Other Gestalt Techniques

Apart from the empty chair, there are other experiential exercises commonly used in gestalt therapy:

Two-chair work: Two conflicting sides within a person, for example the critical voice saying "You should be working harder" and the side saying "I'm worn out", are placed in two separate chairs and made to talk to each other. This work makes the inner conflict visible and possible to discuss.

For example, a mother returning to work after maternity leave might give voice in one chair to the voice saying "A good mother doesn't leave her child," and in the other to the side saying "I want my own life and my career too." It often becomes clear that the voice in the first chair is actually repeating the words of a mother-in-law, a mother or the people around her. Moving back and forth between the two sides, the person begins to see more clearly which one truly belongs to her and how she might hold both together. The aim is not to silence one side but to build a fairer conversation between them.

Exaggeration: A small movement or tone of voice the person makes without noticing, such as clenching a fist while speaking, is deliberately amplified. The question "Clench that fist a little more; what is it telling you?" can help a suppressed feeling come to the surface.

Language work: Changes in language, such as saying "I'm angry" instead of "Someone makes a person angry", "I don't want to" instead of "I can't", and "and" instead of "but", help a person take ownership of their own experience.

Dream work: In gestalt therapy, every element of a dream is seen as a part of the dreamer. Speaking as the locked door in a dream can help a person discover what they are keeping shut inside themselves.

Body awareness: Paying attention to bodily cues such as breathing, posture and muscle tension is one way of noticing feelings that have not yet been put into words.

Who Is Gestalt Therapy Suited To, and What Should You Watch For?

This approach may be especially meaningful for people who have lost touch with their feelings, who say "I don't know what I feel", or who always talk in logical terms and avoid emotion. Unfinished grief, hurt, a person's inner conflicts and recurring problems with contact in relationships are topics this work frequently addresses.

For people who grew up in settings where showing emotion was long seen as weakness, the experiential side of this approach may be particularly meaningful. Many people raised with phrases like "Real men don't cry", "Don't raise your voice to your elders" or "Keep it inside, it'll pass" only notice their anger or sadness in adulthood as headaches, stomach trouble or sudden outbursts. First catching the feeling in the body and then putting it into words in a safe setting can be a new experience for them.

Even so, it is important to know some limits:

• Research support: Controlled research on gestalt therapy itself is more limited than for cognitive behavioural approaches. On the other hand, chair work has been adapted into researched approaches such as emotion-focused therapy and schema therapy and studied within them.
• Trauma: In people who have experienced severe trauma, techniques that quickly bring intense feelings to the surface should be used with care. It may first be necessary to focus on safety and emotion regulation skills.
• The practitioner's competence: Experiential techniques are not so simple that they can be learned in a short workshop and applied straight away. It is important to work with a professional who knows how to work with strong emotions and who has had training and supervision in this field.

Small Experiments to Increase Your Own Awareness

You can also try some of the ideas of the gestalt approach in everyday life. They do not replace therapy, but they can strengthen your contact with yourself:

1. The sentence "Right now I notice that...": Pause a few times during the day and complete this sentence. "Right now I notice that my shoulders are raised." "Right now I notice that I'm bored in this meeting." Simply notice, without judging.
2. "I choose" instead of "I have to": Say the sentence "I have to call my mother every day" as "I choose to call my mother every day." Which sentence feels truer to you? Reflect on the difference.
3. Writing a letter: Write down the words you could not say in a letter you will not send. After writing it, read the letter aloud to yourself and notice what happens in your body as you read.
4. Scanning your body: In the evenings, take a few minutes to notice where in your body you feel tension. This exercise also has things in common with the mindfulness practices we describe in our article what is mindfulness.

If unexpectedly intense feelings arise during these experiments, it is wise to stop and share them with someone you trust or with a professional.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

You might consider seeking support from a mental health professional in the following situations:

• A loss, separation or hurt still pains you intensely, months or even years later
• You have marked difficulty recognising, naming or expressing your feelings
• Your inner critical voice constantly belittles you and is narrowing your life
• The same kinds of disconnection keep recurring in your relationships
• There have been changes in your sleep, appetite or general functioning lasting for weeks

How Are Chair Work and Emotions Addressed in Therapy?

Gestalt therapy is practised by therapists with specific training in this field. Clinical Psychologist Eda Erkan Alapala is a clinical psychologist who has completed four years of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy training to EABCT standards with the Association for Cognitive and Behavioural Therapies (KDTD). Chair work, however, is not unique to gestalt therapy; schema therapy also uses the technique to work on the dialogue between a person's inner critical voice and the hurt side whose needs were not met. Having researched early maladaptive schemas in her master's thesis, Eda Erkan Alapala's schema-focused outlook makes room for this kind of experiential work within a cognitive behavioural framework.

In individual therapy, whether such techniques will be used is assessed together, according to the client's readiness and needs. Sessions can take place face to face in Çorum or online.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can empty chair work be done in an online session?

Yes, with some adaptation. The person can place a chair or cushion opposite them in their own room, and the therapist guides the process via the screen. However, because intense feelings may surface, it is advisable to set aside some quiet time for yourself after the session.

Is the past never discussed in gestalt therapy?

It is discussed, but in a different way. Rather than through long narratives, the past is approached through how it is felt today. A childhood memory can be worked with by bringing it to life as though it were happening now.

What if talking to an empty chair feels silly to me?

This is a very common reaction and is valuable information in itself. The therapist will not push you; you can talk together about what this hesitation is saying. Some people feel ready to try after a few sessions, while others prefer to work with different methods.

Is gestalt therapy also done in groups?

Yes. Historically, the gestalt approach has often been used in group work as well. While one person works in the group, the others bear witness and share their own experiences. The answer to whether individual or group work is better depends on the person's needs and readiness.

• #gestalt
• #empty chair
• #awareness
• #unfinished business

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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