If you didn't get in through the YKS, you are not alone. Ways to cope with emptiness, shame and comparison, and to weigh your options with a calmer mind.
It is the end of August, late at night, and you keep refreshing the ÖSYM page (ÖSYM is the body that runs Turkey's central exams). There is a single sentence on the screen: You have not been placed. Perhaps you had guessed as much back in July when the scores came out; but now that it is final, what you feel is much heavier than you expected. Messages saying "I got in!" keep arriving from your friends. Even saying "I didn't get in through the YKS" (Turkey's national university entrance exam) out loud for the first time feels hard. This article was written for young people who feel they are in a void after results day: together we will look at the feelings that are common at this time, the steps that can help you pull yourself together in the first weeks, and how you can weigh up the options in front of you with a calmer mind rather than in a panic.
I Didn't Get In Through the YKS: Where Does the Weight of Results Day Come From?
For most young people in Turkey, the YKS is an experience in which twelve years of education are squeezed into a single exam day. For a young person who has heard the message "This exam is everything" many times throughout high school, a result that does not come out as hoped is not experienced as just a matter of points. It feels as though every door to the future has suddenly closed.
This weight has several sources. The first is the effort invested: prep courses, weekend practice exams, holidays and friendships sacrificed. The second is the expectations of family and the people around you. The third, perhaps the least noticed, is a loss of identity. Someone who has been a "student" for twelve years can no longer define what they are when September arrives. High school has ended and university has not begun; in between lies an unnamed void.
The uncertainty this void creates can be even more exhausting than the result itself. Understanding the reason for the weight you feel may not lighten it; but it does answer the question "Why do I feel so bad, am I overreacting?" You are not overreacting. Failing to receive the reward for a great deal of effort at the very moment you expected it is a real loss.
Feelings That Are Common After the Results
Every young person experiences this period differently; some feelings, however, come up often.
- Emptiness and meaninglessness: A life organised every day around a specific goal for a whole year is suddenly left without one. Finding a reason to get up in the morning becomes harder.
- Shame: The urge to avoid running into friends, phone calls from relatives and the neighbourhood question "Which course did you get into?"
- Envy, and then guilt: Feeling quietly envious of friends who got in, and then feeling bad about having that feeling.
- Anger: At yourself, the system, the questions, the noise in the exam hall or your family.
- Anxiety: Thoughts such as "What if it doesn't work out next year either?", "What will become of my life?" or "Everyone will be ahead of me".
- Unexpected relief: Some young people also feel relieved that this exhausting year is over, and then feel guilty about it. This too is an entirely natural feeling.
It is also possible to feel several of these on the same day, hopeful in the morning and helpless in the evening. Emotional ups and downs are a natural part of a mind trying to process what has happened.
Coping with the Feeling That "Everyone Is Moving On"
September and October can be especially hard for young people who did not get the YKS result they wanted. Friends share photos of halls of residence, campuses and orientation days. Classmates move to other cities. You, meanwhile, are left in the same room, at the same desk.
During this period, social media offers endless material for comparing yourself. What you see, however, are selected, filtered moments of other people's lives. You cannot see how lonely the friend posting their dorm room felt that week, or how unsure they are because they ended up on a course they did not want.
A one-year delay is one year in a lifetime; this period in which you feel left behind may one day be remembered as a small part of your life.
When you find yourself in a cycle of comparison, a few things can help: muting some accounts for a while, checking social media only at set times, or reminding yourself, the moment you notice you are comparing, that "I am on my own path right now". These do not make the feeling disappear, but they make it harder for it to sweep you away.
If You Didn't Get In Through the YKS: Pulling Yourself Together in the First Weeks
The first weeks after the results are a time for small steps, not big decisions.
You Don't Have to Decide Straight Away
On results night it is very common to make firm decisions such as "I'll prepare again next year" or "I'll never sit this exam again". But decisions made in the midst of intense emotions can look different later. Giving yourself a few weeks allows both the emotions to settle and the options to come into clearer view.
Look After Your Body
If your sleep pattern is disrupted, you are skipping meals and you are not getting out of bed all day, your mood will grow heavier accordingly. Getting up at the same time every morning, going out for a walk even briefly, and eating regularly may sound simple, but they create an important foundation for the mind to recover.
Tell One Person
Carrying your feelings only inside yourself makes them bigger. Saying to a friend you trust, an older relative or a teacher, "I'm going through a really hard time right now", is the first step towards sharing the load.
Give the Day a Small Structure
Days with no goals at all leave room for the mind to fill up with negative thoughts. Planning one or two small things each day, such as reading a book, meeting a friend or finishing a task at home, gradually brings back a sense of control.
Notice the Tone of Your Inner Voice
During this period, many young people talk to themselves in a way that even their harshest critic would not: "You're completely useless", "You've embarrassed everyone". When a sentence like this crosses your mind, stop and consider whether you would say the same thing to a younger sibling or a friend in the same situation. You probably wouldn't. Showing yourself a little of that gentleness is not weakness; it is a precondition for recovery.
Let's say that two weeks after the results you wake up one morning, after spending the whole night looking at other people's campus photos on your phone, feeling worse than ever. The most realistic thing you can do that day may not be to try to fix everything, but to put the phone aside, have a shower, eat breakfast and go for a short walk. One small step can change the direction of the rest of the day.
Weighing Up Your Options with a Calmer Mind
Once your emotions have settled a little, it becomes possible to look at the paths in front of you. There are often more of them than you might think.
Understanding Honestly Why You Didn't Get In
Before deciding on the next step, it helps to look at why this year did not go the way you wanted. Were there gaps in your subject knowledge? Did you experience anxiety on exam day? Was it burnout, a loss of motivation, or a difficult time at home? The answers to these questions directly shape the plan for the next year. Repeating the same thing under the same conditions often leads to a similar result.
Possible Paths
- Preparing for another year: This decision can make sense when the gaps are clearly visible and the motivation is genuinely there. If you are considering this path, our article on taking a gap year to resit can help you understand the emotional side of the process.
- An associate degree or a different programme: For some young people, a programme they had not originally considered turns out to match their interests unexpectedly well.
- Open education or distance programmes: These can be an option for those who want to study while working.
- Working for a while or learning a skill: Stepping into working life can be both an economic and a personal opportunity to mature for some young people.
Questions You Can Ask Yourself When Deciding
- Do I really want this course or profession, or is it someone else's expectation?
- Are my body and mind ready for another year of studying at a desk?
- What challenged me most this year, and how could I do it differently next year?
- Which option would I look back on in five years and be glad I chose?
When deciding which path suits you, it is important to get up-to-date information from school counsellors and official sources. If worries about the future are very intense, our article on future anxiety in young people may also guide you.
A Few Notes for Families
This article speaks primarily to young people, but the family's attitude deeply affects this period. Parents who experience the result as their own disappointment should take care not to project these feelings onto the young person. Sentences such as "All that money went to waste" or "Your cousin got in, why didn't you?" deepen the shame the young person is already carrying.
Instead, acknowledging the young person's feelings, giving them room in the decision-making process and sending the message "Whatever you decide, we're behind you" is more supportive. Seeing a young person lying in bed all day at home can worry parents; but in the first weeks this should be seen not as laziness but as an effort to recover. If it continues for a long time, professional support can be considered.
Finances are also a frequent topic of conversation at this time. Another year of prep-course or tutoring costs can be a serious burden for many families amid the rising cost of living. Neither hiding this from the young person nor putting it in front of them in every conversation is healthy. Talking calmly and openly about what the budget allows helps the young person make a realistic plan. "I didn't get in through the YKS, and on top of that I'm a burden on my family" is a thought that passes through many young people's minds; providing an environment where they can voice it prevents guilt from growing in silence.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Feeling sad, anxious or angry for a while after the results is an expected reaction. In the following situations, however, it may help to talk to a mental health professional:
- Your mood has not improved at all even though weeks have passed
- There are marked changes in your sleep and appetite
- You have stopped seeing your friends altogether or do not want to leave the house
- You cannot enjoy anything
- You constantly feel worthless and hopeless
- You notice you are trying to suppress your feelings with alcohol or other substances
- You are thinking of harming yourself or ending your life; in this case call 112 (emergency services) straight away and let someone near you know
These signs do not on their own amount to a diagnosis; but they show that what you are going through may have gone beyond an expected disappointment. Where necessary, an assessment by a psychiatrist may also be recommended.
How Is Post-Exam Collapse Addressed in Therapy?
In therapy, the first step is to take your loss seriously and to open up a non-judgemental space for your feelings. Many young people belittle their feelings, saying "It's just an exam, I shouldn't overreact"; yet it is hard to work with a feeling without first accepting it.
Within cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), the thoughts that arise along with the result are examined. How realistic thoughts such as "I'm a failure", "My life is ruined" or "Everyone is ahead of me" really are is questioned together, and more balanced perspectives are developed. On the behavioural level, the work focuses on rebuilding a daily routine, returning to enjoyable activities and moving forward with small goals.
Deeper beliefs that equate success with worth, such as "I only deserve to be loved if I succeed", may also become apparent during this period. Working with these beliefs helps you meet not only this crisis but also other disappointments in the future more flexibly.
With young people who decide to prepare for another year, work on exam anxiety, motivation and burnout can also be done. For more information about work with adults and young adults, see the individual therapy page.
Frequently Asked Questions
I didn't get in through the YKS; is my life ruined?
No. This thought may feel very real right now; but a single exam result does not determine the whole of a person's life. Many people build a meaningful life by different routes after not getting the result they wanted at the first attempt. The hopelessness you feel now can change with time and support.
Should I prepare for another year or choose a different path?
There is no single right answer to this decision. It is important to assess honestly why you didn't get in, what you really want and whether you have the energy to prepare for another year. It is healthier to make this decision not on results night but once your emotions have settled a little.
I don't want to see my friends; is this normal?
Wanting to keep away from people for a while after the results is quite common. But if this withdrawal lasts for weeks and turns into complete isolation, it can make your mood even heavier. Trying to keep your connection with at least one or two people you trust is helpful.
My family is very disappointed; what should I say to them?
Your family's disappointment is not a verdict on your worth; it is their own process of coping with this result. At a suitable time, telling them how you feel and what you need, and saying "Right now I need support, not pressure", can make communication easier.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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