For young people considering a gap year to retake the exam: how to decide, how to cope with shame and comparison, and how to build a routine for year two.
When September arrives, your classmates' phones start overflowing with photos of halls of residence, campus entrances and "First lecture!" posts. Meanwhile you're sitting in the same room, at the same desk, with last year's revision books. The shopkeeper on your street asks "Which university are you going to?" and you don't know what to say. Taking a gap year to retake the exam, known in Turkey as "mezuna kalmak" (staying on as a graduate to sit the exam again), is an experience many young people go through every year, yet for some reason it is rarely talked about. This article is for you, if you didn't get into university or into the course you wanted and are thinking about preparing for another year; and also for your family, who want to stand by you through this process. We will discuss how the decision can be made, the emotional weight of the second year, and how to build a plan that will make this year different from the last.
A Gap Year to Retake the Exam: How Do You Decide to Prepare for Another Year?
Decisions made in the days when results are announced are often emotional. At the moment when disappointment is most intense, it is easy to say "Whatever happens, I'm preparing for another year" or "I'm never sitting that exam again." Yet this decision is sounder when it is made after a few weeks of thought.
Some questions you can ask yourself when deciding:
- Is my goal really mine? Is the course you want your own dream, or the expectation of your family, those around you or your friends?
- Do I know what was missing last year? Gaps in topics, irregular study, exam anxiety, health problems or a family difficulty... A second year undertaken without knowing what needs to change can turn into a repeat of the first.
- Am I emotionally ready for another year at this pace? If you feel drained and burnt out, you may need to rest first.
- What are the other options? Options such as studying the course you were placed on, an associate degree in another field, researching lateral or vertical transfer possibilities, or working for a year and then deciding should also be on the table.
- Can my family support this year financially and emotionally? At a time when the cost of living is biting, this question deserves to be discussed openly.
Taking a gap year to retake the exam is not a defeat but a choice. But for it to be a good choice, it needs to be made consciously. For young people torn between studying a course they didn't want and preparing again, our article placed on a course they didn't want can also contribute to the decision process.
The Emotional Weight of the Second Year: Shame, Comparison and "What If It Doesn't Work Again?"
The hardest part of the gap year is often not the lessons but these feelings.
Shame
The thought "Everyone got in; I'm the only one left" is one of the feelings gap-year students voice most often. Questions from relatives, neighbours and former teachers renew this shame. Because of it, some young people begin to avoid people and stop going to weddings or family gatherings.
The first step in easing shame is to name it. Shame is not the feeling "I did something bad" but "I am bad." Yet not getting the desired result in an exam says nothing about a person's worth. Many people, once they have left their exam years behind, remember their gap year as one of the turning points of their lives.
Comparison
Seeing your friends begin university life can make you feel left behind. Social media reproduces this comparison every day. Remember that a moment seen on social media does not tell you everything that person is going through; your friends who have started university have their own anxieties and difficulties adjusting too.
Loneliness
The friendships and routine provided by the school environment disappear. Especially for young people preparing alone at home, the days blur into one another and the feeling of loneliness can intensify. The silence left in the house after everyone has gone to work and school in the morning may feel like freedom in the first weeks, but it can grow heavy over time. Days that pass without talking to anyone leave the young person alone with their thoughts and pave the way for negative thoughts to grow. That is why it is important to see loneliness not as a detail but as a part of the year that needs to be planned for.
The "What if it doesn't work again?" anxiety
This is the heaviest thought of the second year. Worry about what will happen if last year's disappointment is repeated sometimes grows large enough to make studying difficult. This anxiety often feels like an intuition of danger ahead, but in fact it is the pain of the past being carried into the present.
An identity gap
"I'm neither a high-school student nor a university student. What am I?" is a question often heard in the gap year. This gap can shake a young person's self-respect. We discuss the burden created by uncertainty about the future in more detail in our article on future anxiety in young people.
Taking an Honest Look at Last Year
What will make the gap year different is carrying out a "post-mortem" of last year; not to blame yourself, but to learn. You can draw two columns on a sheet of paper: "What worked" and "What didn't work".
You can ask yourself the following questions:
- In which subjects did I make progress, and in which did I stand still?
- Were my study hours really productive, or was I sitting at the desk while my mind wandered elsewhere?
- How did I use mock exams? Did I analyse my mistakes, or did I only look at net scores?
- What happened on exam day? Did I get stuck on questions I knew, fail to manage time, or did anxiety get in the way?
- In which periods did my motivation drop, and what was going on then?
- What kind of year did I have in terms of sleep, eating and social life?
Let's say a young person doing this analysis notices that they scored quite well in mock exams but, because of anxiety, could barely solve any questions in the first half hour of the real exam. In this case, the priority for the second year should not be studying more topics but developing skills for coping with exam anxiety. Without the analysis, this young person might have spent their second year on topic revision alone once again.
The second year is not a repeat of the first, but a new plan written with what the first one taught you.
Building a Daily Routine During a Gap Year to Retake the Exam
When the external structure provided by school disappears, you need to build the routine yourself. In this respect, a gap year to retake the exam is a test of self-discipline; but that discipline should be a sustainable rhythm, not a rigid timetable.
Protect your morning rhythm
Without school, bedtime easily drifts. But going to bed late and sleeping until noon both lowers productivity and makes the rest of the day feel scattered. Getting up at roughly the same time every day and starting the day with a short walk or breakfast sends your mind the message "The day has begun."
Structure home like a school
If you are preparing at home, separate your study space from your bed. Place study blocks at set times and take real breaks between them. For some young people, leaving the house to study in a library or a study hall is more productive because it creates a sense of "going to work".
Don't cut your social ties
You may feel embarrassed to see your friends, but loneliness wears down motivation in the long run. Setting up a study group with friends who, like you, are preparing during a gap year provides both structure and solidarity. Keeping in touch with friends who have started university also reminds you that you will meet on the same road later on.
Leave a "life space" in the week
Keep a set period of the week completely free of lessons. A sport, a hobby, voluntary work or a short part-time job reminds you that your identity is not just "gap-year student".
Renew your study methods as well
If last year you read the same books in the same order and sat the same kinds of mock exams, this year you may need not just to study more but to study differently. Active methods such as explaining a topic to yourself rather than just reading it, writing down what you remember on a blank sheet of paper, and collecting the questions you got wrong in a notebook and solving them again at regular intervals help information stick. For some young people, getting support on methods from a teacher or guidance service also creates a sense of a fresh start.
Set interim goals
A year is a long time. Dividing the year into monthly or three-monthly periods and setting concrete, measurable goals for each makes progress visible and turns the "What if it doesn't work again?" anxiety into tasks that can be done today.
For Families: How to Accompany a Young Person in a Gap Year
The gap year is a challenging period for the family too. To support the young person without unknowingly adding to their burden, the following can be kept in mind:
- Don't call last year to account. The sentence "If you'd studied last year, you wouldn't be in this situation now" deepens the shame the young person is already carrying.
- Don't keep mentioning the financial burden. It is understandable that course fees and expenses are hard for the family; but reminding the young person of this constantly creates a heavy sense of debt.
- Protect the young person from those around you. Giving relatives and neighbours a short, clear answer on the young person's behalf ("They've made their own plan, and we're supporting them") puts them at ease.
- Accept that the decision belongs to the young person. If the family imposes the gap-year decision, the young person may think "I never wanted this anyway" at every hard moment of the year.
- Respect the young person's daily routine. Constantly giving household chores to a young person preparing at home, or calling them for every task because "they're at home anyway", disrupts their study routine.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
The gap year is an emotionally demanding period. Getting support from a specialist is helpful in the following situations:
- There has been intense unhappiness, hopelessness or lack of motivation lasting weeks after the results
- Complete withdrawal from friends, family and social life has begun
- Sleep and appetite have been markedly disrupted
- Exam anxiety was a serious obstacle on exam day last year
- They constantly see themselves as worthless or a burden on their family
- There are unresolved conflicts within the family during the decision process
For the collapse experienced immediately after the results are announced, our article I didn't get into university may also offer guidance. If the young person talks about ending their life or harming themselves, take these words seriously, do not leave them alone, and in an emergency call 112 (emergency services) without delay.
How Is the Gap Year Supported in Therapy?
In the gap year, therapy can be a space of support both during the decision process and throughout the year. In the individual therapy process, the following can be worked on:
Clarifying the decision: The young person's goals, values and options are considered together. Whether the decision to take a gap year comes from the young person's own wish or from external pressure is discussed.
Shame and self-criticism: With Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques, thoughts such as "I'm a failure" or "Everyone is judging me" are identified and replaced with a more balanced inner voice. With a schema-focused perspective, the aim is to understand how far the young person's sense of worth depends on success, and the roots of that dependence.
Coping with anxiety: Especially for young people whose anxiety was decisive on exam day, breathing and relaxation techniques, exam rehearsals and gradual exposure to anxiety are worked on.
Structure and motivation: The young person is supported in building a daily routine, setting interim goals and recognising periods when their motivation drops.
Family sessions: Where needed, expectations, financial worries and supportive communication are discussed together with the family.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it better to take a gap year to retake the exam or to study the course I was placed on?
There is no single right answer to this question for everyone. You need to consider together how interested you are in the course you were placed on, whether there are other ways of reaching the field you are aiming for, and whether you are emotionally ready to prepare for another year. It is important to make this decision without rushing and after talking it over with people you trust.
Should I prepare at home, or go to a tutoring course?
This depends on your self-discipline and your needs. For some young people who can study productively at home and keep to their own timetable, home may be enough. For those who need external structure, a social setting and guidance, a course or study hall may be more suitable. Your experience last year is an important clue here.
I want a gap year but my family doesn't. What can I do?
First, try to understand your family's worry; it is often fed by financial difficulties or the fear of "What if it doesn't work again?" Then share with them your analysis of last year and your concrete plan for this year. A planned, realistic approach often makes it easier to win families' support. If the disagreement continues, a family session facilitated by a specialist can be helpful.
I'm embarrassed to see my old friends. What should I do?
This feeling is very common and understandable. It can help to remember that true friends will not judge you by an exam result. Starting with a short meet-up with one close friend can let you see how big this embarrassment really is.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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