Is Anxiety Genetic? Did I Inherit It from My Mother or Father?

Is anxiety genetic, or a habit learned within the family? Read about the role of genes, temperament and family environment, and how to break the chain.

"My mother was the same. My father couldn't sleep for days whenever we were about to set off on a journey. And my grandmother wouldn't leave the phone until we got home." Many people who struggle with anxiety turn, at some point while telling their own story, to their family. And then comes the question: Is anxiety genetic? If it is, does that make it a fate that will never change? Will it pass on to my children too? These questions carry both curiosity and a deep worry, because in most of our minds the word "genetic" means "there's nothing I can do about it". Yet science's answer on this subject is both more complex and more hopeful. In this article we will talk about the part genes play in anxiety, the invisible lessons passed down from generation to generation in the family, and how you can build your life differently even if you do have a predisposition.

Is Anxiety Genetic? The Short Answer from Science

The short answer is this: partly yes, but not as much as people think, and not in the way people think.

Twin and family studies show that anxiety disorders cluster in families and that heredity plays a certain part in this. A person whose parent has an anxiety disorder is more likely than the general population to experience similar difficulties. However, the same studies also show that heredity does not explain anxiety on its own, and that the part played by environment, life experiences and learning is at least as important as genes.

In other words, the cards in your hand are partly dealt at birth; but how the game is played is determined largely by what you experience and learn over the course of your life. The fact that of two siblings from the same family, one may experience intense anxiety while the other is relatively relaxed is what this picture looks like in everyday life.

It is also misleading to think of genes as on-off switches. Genes are more like a draft; how that draft is read is influenced by the environment a person lives in, their relationships and the stress they face. Current research suggests that life experiences can change how actively some genes work. This shows that the word "genetic" is not a synonym for "unchangeable", and that a person's biology and life experience are constantly influencing each other.

What Do Genes Pass On? Not Anxiety, but a Predisposition

When it comes to genetic influence, what is passed on is not a ready-made "anxiety disorder" but a predisposition to certain traits. This distinction is very important.

Temperament: why are some babies born more cautious?

There is a long-established observation in developmental psychology: some babies and young children approach new people, new places and unexpected sounds more cautiously than others. When a stranger enters the room they hide behind their mother's skirt, they look at a new toy from a distance for a long time, and they stay in the corner at a crowded birthday party. This temperamental trait can increase the likelihood of experiencing anxiety later in life; but it certainly does not determine it. A significant proportion of children who are born cautious grow into self-confident adults in a supportive environment.

Temperament is like the sensitivity setting on a fire alarm. Some of our alarms come from the factory set a little more sensitively. This does not mean the house will burn down; it only means the alarm may go off more easily.

There is no single "anxiety gene"

Sometimes we come across news headlines along the lines of "anxiety gene discovered". Yet our current knowledge suggests that a predisposition to anxiety is linked not to a single gene but to a combination of many genes, each with a very small effect. Some of these genes may be related to the stress system, some to emotion regulation and some to how quickly a threat is perceived. For this reason there is currently no blood test or genetic test that shows a predisposition to anxiety; if you come across such a promise, it is wise to be cautious.

Is Anxiety Genetic or Learned? The Invisible Lessons Passed On in the Family

A large part of how anxiety passes from generation to generation in a family happens not through genes but through lessons quietly passed on in everyday life. Children learn how dangerous the world is, and how to cope with danger, mostly by watching their parents.

Modelling

Let's say a mother startles every time lightning flashes, draws the curtains and tells her child, "Stay away from the window." When the child sees this scene dozens of times, they learn that a storm is something to be feared without it ever being put into words. In the same way, a father who expects bad news every time he comes back from the doctor shows his child, without realising it, that uncertainty about health is unbearable. Children copy what we do far more than what we say.

Overprotection and reassurance

Anxious parents naturally want to protect their children from every kind of difficulty. Not letting them go on a school trip, not sending them to the corner shop on their own to buy bread, stepping in immediately at every difficulty... The intention is love; but this way the child may receive the message "You can't cope with this." A child who never has the experience of facing a difficulty and getting through it struggles to develop confidence in their own ability to cope. We discuss this subject in detail in our article on overprotective parenting.

Family language: "Everyone in our family is a worrier"

In some families anxiety is spoken of almost as an identity trait: "Our whole clan are worriers", "You take after your aunt, she was always like that too." Although these sentences look innocent at first glance, they present anxiety as an inheritance that cannot be changed. The more a person sees themselves within this story, the less they try to do anything about their anxiety. These sentences, repeated during holiday visits, at weddings and in family conversations, are the most visible form of the beliefs passed between generations.

In Turkey, the closeness of extended family relationships can both strengthen and soften this transmission. On the one hand there are the elders who say "Have you arrived? Call me" on every journey and panic at the slightest cough; on the other there are the relatives who knock on the door in hard times and share the load. Anxiety circulates in the family, but so does support.

A Predisposition Is Not Destiny: The Role of Environment and Experience

A genetic predisposition tends to turn into marked anxiety only when it meets certain conditions. These conditions include the following:

• Losses, separations or an unpredictable home environment in childhood
• Long-term stress: financial hardship, unemployment, the burden of caregiving
• Sudden and shocking events: an earthquake, an accident, news of a sudden illness
• Growing up in an environment where you were constantly criticised or not allowed to make mistakes
• Not having a safe relationship in which you could talk about your feelings and feel at ease

The opposite is also true. When a child with a predisposition grows up in an environment where their feelings are listened to, where they are encouraged towards challenges in small steps and where making a mistake is not treated as a disaster, the predisposition may never turn into an anxiety disorder. Some researchers even suggest that children with a sensitive temperament benefit more than others from supportive environments. In other words, under the right conditions, sensitivity can also turn into a strength.

To make this concrete, let's think of two cousins. Both their mothers are anxious, and both were shy in crowds as children. One joins a theatre club in secondary school, trembles every time before going on stage, but keeps going with the encouragement of her teacher. The other is sent to the school nurse every time she has to speak in front of the class, and her family, saying "let's not push her", lets her change schools. Years later, the first may be an adult who recognises her nervousness but can live with it, while the second may be someone who avoids speaking in public altogether. Their starting points are similar; what separates their paths is the support they received and the choices made between avoidance and facing things.

Genes may open the door to anxiety a little, but whether you walk through that door, and how long you stay inside, is determined by what you live through and what you learn.

Breaking the Chain: What Can You Do for Yourself and Your Children?

If you can see traces of anxiety in your family, there are steps you can take so that these traces do not define your life and your children's lives.

Notice your own patterns. For a week, note down the moments when you feel anxious and ask yourself: "Who did I learn this reaction from? What would my mother have done in this situation?" Very often you will notice that you can hear one of your parents' voices in your own tone. This awareness is not for blaming but for opening up room for choice.

Question the sentence "I've always been like this". Instead of defining yourself as an anxious person from an anxious family, saying "I'm prone to anxiety and I can do something about it" gives you room to move.

Name your feeling in front of your child. When you feel anxious, you do not have to hide it completely; what matters is showing how you deal with it. Saying "I got a bit worried just now; I'm going to take a few deep breaths and then we'll see what we can do" teaches the child that anxiety can be managed.

Allow small steps of courage. Make room for your child to face challenges appropriate to their age, for example going to the corner shop alone, phoning a friend themselves or joining a school trip. Even if the anxiety inside you says "don't let them go", allowing a controlled step protects the child in the long run.

Balance your reassurance. When your child asks the same question over and over ("Will there be an earthquake?", "Will I get ill?"), giving long reassurances every time soothes the anxiety for a short while but feeds it. Giving a clear, calm answer once and then guiding them towards talking about the feeling or towards another activity is more helpful.

Show yourself compassion too. Being an anxious parent does not mean being a bad parent. Looking after your own anxiety is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give your child.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Whatever the answer to the question of whether anxiety is genetic turns out to be for you, a family history of anxiety does not in itself mean you need to seek support. However, it may be helpful to talk to a professional in the following situations:

• If your worries have been affecting your daily life, your sleep or your work for a long time
• If you notice you are repeating your parents' anxious behaviours and are finding it hard to change this
• If you see signs in your child such as long-lasting fears not expected for their age, not wanting to go to school or frequent stomach aches
• If you avoid important decisions, journeys or social situations because of anxiety
• If you experience sudden attacks of fear similar to panic attacks

Sometimes the strongest reason for seeking support is not the person themselves but their child. Parents who come along saying "I grew up carrying this burden; I don't want my son to" often face their own anxiety properly for the first time. This is one of the most meaningful steps that can be taken to break the chain.

If there is a family history of anxiety or depression, sharing this when you talk to a professional makes the assessment easier. If the symptoms are intense, an assessment by a psychiatrist can also be part of the process.

How Is Family Anxiety Addressed in Therapy?

Genetic predisposition cannot be changed in therapy; but the habits of thought, feeling and behaviour built on top of that predisposition can be. That is where the real work happens.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) targets the thinking patterns and avoidance behaviours that keep anxiety going. Rules learned in the family, such as "expect the worst", "uncertainty is dangerous" and "if you let go of control, disaster will strike", are noticed, tested in real life and replaced with more flexible alternatives. Gradually facing avoided situations allows the person to experience their own ability to cope.

In some sessions it is also helpful to map out the family history together. When it becomes visible on the line running from grandmother to mother and from mother to you which subjects the anxiety concentrated on, after which events it increased and how it was talked about in the family, the person starts to say "this was passed on to me and I can transform it" instead of "this is just how I am".

When the roots of anxiety reach back into childhood experiences, schema-focused work can also be included in the process. For example, someone who grew up with constant warnings of danger may have developed a schema such as "vulnerability to harm". The schema therapy approach helps people see how such deep-rooted patterns connect to present-day anxiety and build a new relationship with them.

Separate sessions for parents help them learn how to offer support without passing their own anxiety on to their children. This work on anxiety and panic can be carried out face to face or online.

Frequently Asked Questions

If my mother is anxious, am I bound to be anxious too?

No. Having an anxious parent may increase the likelihood for you, but it does not create a certainty. Even siblings growing up in the same family can have very different levels of anxiety. Your life experiences, your relationships and your coping skills change this likelihood considerably.

Does therapy work if there is a genetic predisposition?

Yes. Therapy does not change genes, but it can change how anxiety is experienced, how long it lasts and how much it affects life. Many people with a family predisposition also benefit markedly from therapy.

Should I hesitate to have children because I am anxious?

A predisposition to anxiety is no barrier to becoming a parent. Being aware of your own anxiety and being willing to look after it is, in fact, an important protective factor for your child. Talking through your worries about this with a professional can help you make your decision with a calmer mind.

My sibling has panic attacks. Will I have them too?

Your sibling having panic attacks may increase the likelihood for you somewhat, because you share both some predispositions and the same family environment. But this does not mean that you are bound to have them too. Not interpreting bodily symptoms as catastrophes, not letting avoidance grow and looking after yourself during stressful periods can help reduce this likelihood.

• #heredity
• #family
• #temperament
• #parenting

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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