The Psychology of Nostalgia: Is Nostalgia a Bad Thing? On Missing the Old Çorum

What does the psychology of nostalgia tell us? Does missing the old Çorum ease loneliness, and when does it become being stuck in the past? Read the research.

"The area around the Clock Tower used to be completely different." "In our day, the whole village would go to the fair together." We often hear sentences like these at a family meal, in a conversation at the teahouse, or in phone calls between people from Çorum living in other cities. This longing for the past — nostalgia — was long regarded in psychology as a negative state; for a time it was even considered a kind of illness. In recent years, however, research has changed the picture. Researchers working on the psychology of nostalgia show that longing for the past often strengthens a sense of connection rather than isolating people, and supports a positive sense of self. In this article I will look at what it means to miss the old Çorum, when nostalgia does us good and when it turns into being stuck in the past.

Symbols of the Old Çorum: The Data and Its Limits

Nostalgia is often tied to concrete places. In Çorum, some of these places have stood for centuries. The Clock Tower in the city centre was commissioned in 1894 by Yedi Sekiz Hasan Paşa, a native of Çorum; it is an octagonal structure about 27.5 metres high. The Koyunbaba Bridge in Osmancık was built in the reign of Bayezid II, in the late 1480s; it is a bridge about 250 metres long with 19 arches. Restoration work has been carried out on the bridge since 2014.

Buildings are not the only carriers of community memory. According to records of the Çorum Provincial Directorate of Culture and Tourism, the Kargı Fair has a history of around 100 years and lasts about a week in the first week of November each year. The International Çorum Hittite Fair and Festival has been held since 1981. These events produce shared memories about which different generations can say, "I was there too."

A limit should be stated here: I could not find any research measuring the nostalgia of people from Çorum or their relationship with the city. Nor do we have a detailed, sourced account of how the city's squares and bazaars have changed. The comments about Çorum in this article are therefore at the level of observation; the scientific findings on nostalgia are based on research carried out in other countries.

The Psychology of Nostalgia: What Does the Research Say?

The word nostalgia is derived from two Greek roots meaning homecoming and pain. When the concept first emerged, it was used to describe a condition seen in soldiers far from home, and for a long time it was associated with homesickness and melancholy.

Today, however, studies in the psychology of nostalgia paint a more balanced picture. The comprehensive study by Wildschut and colleagues published in 2006 and the 2008 review by Sedikides and colleagues highlight the following findings:

• Nostalgia is usually a bittersweet emotion; but its content is predominantly positive. People mostly remember meaningful moments spent with loved ones, religious holidays and family gatherings.
• Nostalgia increases a sense of social connectedness. Remembering that you were loved and belonged to a community in the past helps you feel that you are not alone today either.
• Nostalgia supports a positive sense of self. Meaningful moments from the past nourish the feeling "I have lived a worthwhile life."
• Negative emotions, especially loneliness, can trigger nostalgia. In this respect, nostalgia can act as a natural buffer against difficult feelings.

These findings show that nostalgia should not be dismissed as "living in the past". However, these studies were not conducted in Çorum; caution is needed when applying their findings here.

A Sociological Reading: The Changing City and the Sources of Longing

You do not need to leave a city to miss it; you can also miss it while it changes before your eyes. Possible factors that may feed nostalgia in Çorum include:

• Urban redevelopment: As old houses, streets and shops are replaced by new buildings, people may feel that the city they knew is disappearing.
• Migration: Many people from Çorum live in other cities for education or work. For those who leave, their hometown can remain in the mind like a picture frozen at the moment they left. Coming back to find a changed city can create an unexpected sense of strangeness.
• Ageing: For older generations, the old city is also the city of their youth and of loved ones who are no longer alive. Missing a place is often missing the people in that place.
• Rapid social change: Changes in neighbourly relations, ways of exchanging holiday greetings and bazaar culture can feed the feeling that "People used to be closer."

On the other hand, the fact that some things continue unchanged is the balancing side of nostalgia. A fair that has been held for about a century, or a festival organised for more than forty years, offers a meeting point that recurs across generations. A child who went to the fair with their grandmother experiences, years later when going to the same place with their own grandchild, something that endures amid everything that has changed. Continuities like these can soften, to some extent, the sense of loss that change creates.

Each of these factors also shows that nostalgia is not only an individual but a social emotion. A city's shared memory functions as a bond among those who live there.

The Psychology of Nostalgia: When Does It Help, and When Does It Become Being Stuck?

One of the most important messages of research on the psychology of nostalgia is that its function depends on how we experience it.

When nostalgia does you good:

• if remembering the past gives you a sense of warmth, connection and meaning,
• if your memories inspire what you want to do today (for example, taking up again a pastime you used to love),
• if sharing memories with others brings you closer to them,
• if the past gives you strength to cope with today's difficulties.

When nostalgia becomes difficult:

• if the thought "Everything was lovely in the old days, nothing is lovely now" has become constant,
• if longing for the past is leading you to withdraw from your current relationships and opportunities,
• if memories only remind you of loss and regret and leave you feeling low,
• if rigid resistance to change is causing constant conflict with those around you.

Let us say a retired teacher looks at old photographs every evening. For a time, these photographs remind him of his former pupils and the meaning of his working life, and they make him smile. But after he loses his wife, the same photographs only feed the thought "Nothing will ever be the same again", and he begins to spend most of his days in the past. The same memories can serve different functions at different times.

Missing the past does not mean rejecting the present; it is often remembering something we want to carry into today.

Nostalgia Across Generations and Among Those Who Have Left

Nostalgia is not experienced in the same way by everyone. It takes on different colours depending on age, life circumstances and a person's relationship with the city.

For older people, nostalgia is often part of an effort to make sense of their life story. In later life, people look back on their lives and try to see them as a whole. Every story told about the old city is really a way of saying "This was my life, and it was worthwhile." Listening patiently to these stories is one of the most valuable forms of support that can be offered to an older loved one.

For people in middle age, nostalgia can mean missing both their own childhood and the world of their ageing parents. This generation may, on the one hand, be adapting to the changing city while, on the other, carrying the responsibility of being the last generation that remembers the old one.

For young people, nostalgia takes a different form. They may miss a period they never lived through, via stories they have heard from their elders or old photographs. This "borrowed nostalgia" can give young people a curiosity about their roots and a sense of belonging.

For people from Çorum living in other cities, nostalgia is intertwined with homesickness. Missing the streets, smells and people of home amid the crowds of a big city can be both a burden and something to lean on. For these people, nostalgia functions as a bond that reminds them they belong somewhere, even from afar.

Knowing these differences helps us understand why nostalgia within a family is sometimes a bridge and sometimes a source of tension. When a grandfather says "Everything was better in the old days", his grandchild may hear it as a criticism of the present; yet the grandfather is often simply talking about his own youth.

Suggestions for Carrying Nostalgia Into the Present

Some practical suggestions for turning nostalgia into a nourishing resource:

1. Share your memories. Share your memories of the old Çorum with your children, grandchildren or friends. Shared nostalgia creates a sense of common connection rather than individual sadness.
2. Revisit old places. A walk around the Clock Tower, a trip to the Koyunbaba Bridge or going to the fair again brings memories together with the present. Seeing places that have changed may be saddening; but noticing what has not changed can also be comforting.
3. Bring something from the past into the present. If there is a pastime, a dish, a tradition or a friendship you used to have but let go of, consider reviving it.
4. Build a bridge between "then" and "now". Instead of "It was better before", ask "This is what we had before; how can I experience something similar today?"
5. Open photo albums together. Looking at old photographs with family members is a very different experience from looking at them alone; it starts conversations between generations.
6. If you live far away, keep the bond alive. Following news from home, planning visits or meeting people from your hometown in the city where you live can turn longing into a connection rather than a rupture.
7. Accept that sadness has its place too. Nostalgia sometimes hurts. Accepting this pain rather than suppressing it helps it soften over time.

Loneliness is often intertwined with nostalgia; I discussed this in more detail in my article on feeling lonely.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Missing the past is a natural part of being human. However, it may be helpful to talk to a professional in the following situations:

• if your longing for the past comes with low mood, lack of motivation and an inability to enjoy things that have lasted for weeks,
• if you spend most of your days thinking about the past and are struggling to fulfil your present responsibilities,
• if, after a loss, memories bring only pain and regret,
• if loneliness has led you to withdraw markedly from social relationships,
• if your sleep and appetite patterns have been disrupted or thoughts of hopelessness have become frequent.

If thoughts that life is meaningless or thoughts of harming yourself have emerged, do not stay alone; talk to someone close to you, and in an emergency call 112 (emergency services). I discussed the signs of low mood in later life in detail in my article on depression in older age.

How Are Nostalgia and Loss Addressed in Therapy?

In therapy, nostalgia is approached not as a problem but as a window onto a person's values and needs. Sometimes a person comes to therapy not because of nostalgia but because of sleep problems, lack of motivation or loneliness; their longing for the past emerges as the sessions progress. What the person is missing — a place, a period, a relationship or their own youth — is explored together. Thought is then given to how what is missed can be met in their life today.

In the cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach, thoughts such as "Nothing will ever be the same again" or "My happiest days are behind me" are identified and evaluated with more balanced alternatives. Through behavioural activation, activities in which the person can find meaning and enjoyment today are planned step by step.

Life story work, especially with older people, can help a person gain a holistic view of their life. Remembering the meaningful moments of the past, accepting losses and seeing the present as part of this story too gives a person a sense of continuity. If low mood has become pronounced, psychological support in the area of depression and mood may be helpful; where necessary, an assessment by a psychiatrist is also recommended.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is feeling nostalgic healthy?

Research shows that nostalgia often supports a sense of social connectedness and a positive sense of self. Nostalgia is usually a bittersweet emotion and a healthy experience for most people. However, if it turns into persistent low mood or withdrawal from the present, it needs attention.

Why do I think about the past more when I feel lonely?

Research shows that negative emotions such as loneliness can trigger nostalgia. Remembering that you were loved and belonged to a community in the past may be a natural way in which the mind tries to protect itself against loneliness.

I feel like a stranger when I go back to my hometown — is this normal?

Yes, it is a very common experience. People who have lived away for a long time remember their hometown as it was when they left; encountering a changed city can create a sense of strangeness. This feeling usually eases as you build a new relationship with the city.

My elderly mother keeps talking about the old days — how should I respond?

Listening with interest and asking questions helps her feel valued. Recording memories together or visiting old places together can also do her good. However, if what she says contains only sadness and hopelessness, it is important to watch for signs of low mood.

• #nostalgia
• #loneliness
• #memories
• #urban memory
• #Çorum

Yazar

Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

Eğitimler