School Success and Language in Immigrant Children: A Guide for Families

Why do children of Turkish families abroad struggle with school success? Practical tips on language, motivation, homework and communicating with teachers.

One of the concerns most often voiced by Turkish families raising children abroad is school success. Questions like "My child is smart but their grades are low," "The teacher says it's a language deficit," or "Did they fall behind because we speak Turkish at home?" nag at many parents. Children from immigrant families do not only learn maths or science at school; they also learn a new language, a new school culture and expectations that are often different from those of the culture at home. In this article we look at the factors that affect school success in immigrant children, the signs to watch for, and the concrete steps families can take at home.

Why Is School Success a Different Matter for Immigrant Children?

School success is not only about intelligence or hard work. For a child to do well at school, they need to understand the language, be able to build relationships with the teacher and classmates, know the school's expectations and feel safe. Children of immigrant families may be carrying burdens in several of these areas at the same time.

For example:

• The language of school differs from the language of home. Even if a child seems fluent in everyday speech, acquiring the abstract and academic language used in textbooks can take longer.
• Parents may not know the school system. Grading systems, tracking decisions, parents' evenings and homework expectations can be very different from those in Turkey.
• Homework support at home may be limited. If a parent has difficulty understanding homework written in the language of school, it becomes harder to help the child.
• A sense of belonging may be weak. A child who feels "different" in class may be reluctant to take part in lessons.
• Parents' high expectations: The message "We went through all these hardships for you," though full of love and sacrifice, can turn into a heavy pressure on the child.

These factors do not appear in the same way in every child. Many immigrant children do very well at school, thanks to the mental flexibility that comes with being bilingual. What matters is noticing early the points where a child is struggling and providing the right support.

Is School Success Declining? Signs to Watch For

Sometimes changes in behaviour appear before grades drop. The signs below may suggest that your child is struggling at school:

• Not wanting to go to school, with complaints such as stomach aches or headaches in the mornings
• Avoiding homework, crying or getting angry at homework time
• Saying things like "I'm stupid" or "I don't understand anything"
• Not talking about what happens at school, giving short answers to questions
• Feedback from the teacher that the child is "very quiet in class" or "easily distracted"
• Withdrawal in friendships
• Resistance to the language of school, or conversely, rejecting Turkish
• Changes in sleep and appetite

Some of these signs can be a natural part of language learning. Others can be signs of something else, such as anxiety, peer problems or attention difficulties. A language deficit can be confused with a learning difficulty or an attention problem; so instead of drawing a conclusion on your own, it is important to assess together with the school and, where necessary, with specialists.

Language and School Success: Common Misconceptions

Some beliefs about bilingualism and school success are widespread among immigrant families. Examining them closely helps families make more informed decisions.

"If we speak Turkish at home, the child won't learn the language of school." The general view in the field is that a strong mother tongue does not make learning a second language harder, but can in fact support it. When a child learns concepts well in their mother tongue, it becomes easier to transfer those concepts to the second language. What matters most is offering a rich and lively language environment at home: reading stories, chatting, asking questions.

"A parent who doesn't know the language of school well can't help the child." Helping does not only mean working through homework together. Setting up a study routine, showing interest, appreciating effort and staying in touch with the teacher are also strong forms of support.

"If they speak fluently, there is no language problem." The language of the playground is different from the language of the textbook. A child may talk comfortably with friends yet struggle to find the main idea of a text or to understand a word problem.

"If grades are low, they are being lazy." Behind low grades there is often not laziness but not understanding, anxiety or low self-confidence. Rather than blaming the child, it is more useful to understand where they are struggling.

One of the things that most supports a child's school success is knowing that their family sees their effort and loves them regardless of their grades.

We covered the topic of raising bilingual children in detail in our article on bilingual children.

The Family's Role and Cultural Context

In Turkish family culture, education is often seen as a "path to salvation." First- and second-generation immigrants want their children to have the opportunities they could not have themselves. This is a very valuable motivation, but it can sometimes, without realising it, place a heavy burden on the child's shoulders.

Some common dynamics are as follows:

• Comparison: Sentences like "Your cousin became a doctor, so you should too" can make it harder for the child to discover their own interests.
• Over-focus on grades: When every exam result becomes a big event in the family, it can lead to test anxiety in the child.
• Distrust of the school system: In some countries, school tracking at an early age can create a sense of injustice in families. This feeling is understandable; however, constantly criticising the school and teachers in front of the child can reduce their commitment to school.
• The parent's own school experience: Parents who felt excluded or unsuccessful at school in their own childhood may reflect these worries onto their children.

Let's say a ten-year-old child received a low mark in a maths test. When the father comes home in the evening, the first question is "What did you get?" and a long lecture follows. At the next test, the child begins hiding their mark. Yet in the same situation, asking "Which question in this test was hardest for you?" can open the door to solving the problem together.

Experiences of discrimination or exclusion at school can also directly affect school success. For this topic, you can look at the article on discrimination at school.

A newly arrived child and a child born there are not the same

Immigrant children are not a single group. A child who has just arrived in the country at school age and a child who was born and raised there have very different needs.

For a newly arrived child, the first months are often a "silent period." The child observes their surroundings and listens to the language but speaks little. This period is not laziness or disinterest, but a natural part of learning. These children are also grieving the loss of their friends, teachers and the school they were used to. For a child who was a successful student in Turkey, suddenly finding themselves in the position of "not understanding" in the new country can shake their self-confidence.

A child born there, on the other hand, often speaks the language of school fluently, but may feel the difference between the language and culture at home and school more sharply. Their parents knowing the school system less well than they do can push the child into the "family interpreter" role at an early age. Tasks such as translating official letters and mediating at parents' evenings can create a burden of responsibility that is not appropriate for the child's age.

In both cases, giving the child the message "What we expect of you is appropriate to your situation" eases the pressure on school success.

What You Can Do at Home to Support School Success

1. Create a regular study environment. Doing homework at about the same time every day, in a quiet corner without screens, builds habit. Short study blocks with small breaks in between are more productive, especially for younger children.

2. Support thinking in the mother tongue. Ask them to explain what they learned at school in Turkish: "What did you learn in science today, can you tell me about it?" This both reinforces understanding and keeps the mother tongue alive.

3. Make reading a family habit. Get books in both Turkish and the language of school. In most countries, libraries are a free or low-cost resource. Talking together about the book you have read strengthens reading comprehension.

4. Work with the teacher. Attend parents' evenings; if there is a language barrier, ask whether interpreter support is available. Asking the teacher "Which subjects is my child struggling with, and how can I support them at home?" is the most effective way to start working together.

5. Praise effort, not just results. Saying "You really put effort into this homework" instead of "What a clever child you are" helps the child not give up in the face of difficulties.

6. Look into additional sources of support. Many schools or municipalities may offer language support, homework clubs or tutoring programmes. Making use of them is not a shortcoming but a smart step.

7. Make room for feelings. School can sometimes be a tiring and unfamiliar place for a child. In the evenings, give your child the chance to share their feelings with questions such as "What tired you out most today?"

8. Balance screen time. A tired mind learns less easily at school. Enough sleep and balanced screen use are the quiet supporters of school success.

9. Notice your own anxiety. A parent's anxiety passes to a child very quickly. If you notice your stomach tightening while waiting for an exam result, give yourself a minute before it spills over onto your child. A calm parent is a model for the child to cope with difficulties more calmly.

When Should You Seek Professional Support?

Language learning and adjusting to school are processes that take time. However, speaking with a specialist may be useful in the following situations:

• If your child has not wanted to go to school for a long time and shows marked anxiety in the mornings
• If, despite language support, there is a marked and persistent difficulty in reading, writing or maths
• If distractibility, excessive activity or impulsivity are seen both at home and at school
• If your child constantly speaks negatively about themselves and seems hopeless
• If you suspect they are being bullied by peers
• If school and homework lead to constant fights in the family

On matters such as learning difficulties or attention problems, the school psychologist, paediatrician and relevant specialists in the country where you live are important resources; these assessments are often carried out in that country's language and within its system. Support in your mother tongue can be used alongside this process to address the emotional burden, communication within the family and the child's self-confidence.

If your child is talking about harming themselves or there is an urgent risk, call the emergency number of the country you are in: 112 in EU countries, 911 in the US and Canada, 999 or 112 in the UK, and 000 in Australia. Online therapy is not an emergency intervention service.

How Do We Work in Online Therapy in Your Mother Tongue?

In work with children and adolescents, the family is always an important part of the process. Working in the mother tongue can make it easier, especially for parents to express their own worries, expectations and cultural values comfortably. You can find information prepared for families living abroad on the page for Turks abroad.

In work based on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), the following topics can be addressed:

• Working with school anxiety: The child noticing their "I won't be able to do it" thoughts and replacing them with more realistic ones
• Problem-solving skills: Breaking homework that looks big into small steps, making a plan
• Emotion regulation: Learning ways to cope with disappointment and anger
• Parent guidance: Adjusting expectations to the child's developmental level, communicating positively, reducing homework conflicts
• Self-worth: Helping the child feel valuable not only through their grades but through all of their qualities

With young children, play-based methods may be more suitable; with teenagers, more talking and skills work is done. In online sessions, it is important to choose a quiet room where the child can feel comfortable, headphones and a fixed day and time. Payment can be made online; for insurance, you need to check the conditions in the country where you live. For details, you can look at the child and play therapy page.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does speaking Turkish at home lower school success?

The general view is that a strong mother tongue supports learning a second language. What matters is offering a rich language environment at home and making sure the child also has enough contact with the language of school. The two languages can be supporters of each other rather than rivals.

How long will it take my child to learn the language of school?

This depends on the child's age, personality, previous language experience and school support. Everyday conversational language generally develops faster than academic language. It is important to be patient and not compare the child with others.

How should I approach a child with low grades?

First, try to understand where they are struggling. Making a plan together, working with the teacher and appreciating their effort is a more effective approach than blaming or punishing.

How do I tell a learning difficulty from a language deficit?

It is not easy to tell the difference at home. If the difficulty appears in both languages and continues despite language support, a specialist assessment is helpful. The school's guidance department can be the first point of contact on this.

• #school success
• #immigrant children
• #bilingualism
• #homework
• #education abroad

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Eda Erkan Alapala

Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.

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