Rural-to-urban migration is not just a change of address; it means leaving a familiar life, neighbours and identity. Read on the psychology of adjusting.
In the village you used to wake to the sound of the cockerel; now you wake to the creak of the lift door in your block of flats. Back then, everyone you passed on the road knew your name, and when you went to the corner shop they asked after your mother. In the city, you have not managed to learn the name of the neighbour on your own floor in months. You came in the hope of better schools for your children and steadier work for yourself; yet in the evenings, as you step onto the balcony and look at the lights of the building opposite, an emptiness you cannot describe grows inside you. Rural-to-urban migration is a shared story for millions of families in Turkey, and it is usually talked about only as an economic decision. Yet this migration also has an unseen, emotional side. In this article we look at the adjustment difficulties faced by those who move from a village or small town to the city, the feelings that come with being uprooted, and ways of building a new sense of belonging in the city.
Why Is Rural-to-Urban Migration a Psychological Transition?
When people think of migration, they usually think of changing countries. But moving from a village to a city within the same country also brings profound changes to a person's life. It is not only the address that changes; the flow of time, the shape of relationships, the scale of space and even the meaning of silence all change.
The reason for moving also affects the experience. The adjustment of someone who came of their own accord, following a dream, is not the same as that of someone who left their home unwillingly because of drought, financial hardship or family pressure. In forced moves, the sense of loss is often more pronounced.
In village or small-town life:
- People have known each other for years, even for generations.
- Daily life is shaped by the seasons, the harvest, the animals and the rhythm of nature.
- Helping one another happens naturally; at weddings, funerals and harvest time, everyone lends a hand.
- Identity is defined by the family name and one's place in the village: "So-and-so's son", "So-and-so's daughter-in-law".
In the city, however:
- People are mostly strangers to one another and prefer to keep their distance.
- Daily life flows according to working hours, traffic and the times of the works or school bus.
- Asking for help is harder; not bothering anyone is a rule of politeness.
- Identity has to be rebuilt through one's job, schooling and own efforts.
This difference is like moving from one worldview to another. That is why many people who migrate from the countryside to the city may not feel "fully from here" even years later.
The Emotional Weight of Being Uprooted
Longing for home
Missing the air of the village, the smell of the soil, the garden where you drank your morning tea and the voices of your mother and father is one of the most common feelings after migration. This longing sometimes rises suddenly with a song, sometimes with a fruit you see at the market, and sometimes as a religious holiday approaches. We discuss the effect of homesickness on mood in more detail in our article on longing for home.
Loneliness and invisibility
In the village, if someone fell ill, the news would spread at once and someone would knock at your door. In the city, it is possible to live for days without speaking to anyone. This invisibility can create intense loneliness, especially for women who spend their time at home with children and for retired older people.
Inadequacy and shame
Not knowing the rules of the city, not knowing how to top up a public transport card, how to get a hospital appointment or which queue to join at the bank, can make a person feel clumsy and inadequate. Being mocked for a regional accent, or hearing the word "villager" used as an insult, can create deep shame.
Guilt
Someone who has left elderly parents behind in the village may feel guilty, thinking, "I've left them on their own." Leaving behind the fields, the vineyard or the animals can feel like abandoning something the family worked on for years.
Feeling split in two
Being regarded as a "city person" when you go back to the village, while still being seen as a "villager" in the city, can leave a person suspended between two worlds. This in-between position weakens the sense of belonging.
Echoes in the body
The emotional weight of migration can also be felt in the body. Many people who are new to the city describe having trouble falling asleep in the first months, carrying a tightness in the chest or constant tiredness. Dizziness in a crowded market, palpitations in heavy traffic or a feeling of "I can't breathe" in a flat can be physical traces of being away from familiar surroundings. These symptoms usually ease as adjustment progresses; but if they become constant, a medical assessment should be considered first, followed by psychological support.
Roots cannot be moved; but they can carefully reach out towards new soil.
Changes Within the Family During Rural-to-Urban Migration
Migration affects each family member differently. This difference can also lead to new tensions within the family.
Children and young people are usually the quickest to adapt to the city. They make new friends at school and quickly learn the city's language and habits. This rapid adjustment can sometimes create a generational and cultural gap between them and their parents. A teenager may feel embarrassed by their family in front of relatives in the village, or, the other way round, may hesitate to tell their friends in the city about their village.
Women may lose their wide social networks from the village. Shared activities such as making bread with the neighbours, working in the garden and watching over the children together may give way in the city to loneliness between four walls.
Men often take on the responsibility of providing for the family in a new and unfamiliar working environment. While working long hours on a building site, in a factory or as a driver, they may have lost their status in the village and the sense of being their own boss.
Older people, when they come to the city to be near their children, may be the ones who feel most displaced. Without their garden, their animals and their friends at the village coffeehouse, they do not know how to fill the day in a flat.
Let's say that a few months after moving to the city, your twelve-year-old daughter says to you, "Don't mention the village in front of my friends." This sentence may sting, but it is often an expression of a search for belonging. Understanding your daughter's effort to fit into her new surroundings, while continuing to share with her the stories that make her roots precious, helps her bring the two worlds together.
The Difficulties and Sources of Stress in City Life
For someone coming from a village, the city means many new sources of stress at once:
- Noise and crowds: Constant traffic noise, car horns, crowded buses and metro trains wear out a body that is used to quiet.
- Time pressure: A routine in which everything is measured by the clock, with people rushing to catch the works bus or get to work on time.
- Financial pressure: Rent, bills and transport costs can be a heavy burden for someone who used to live in their own house in the village and grow their own vegetables.
- Disconnection from nature: Less access to soil, trees and open sky creates a sense of suffocation and confinement in many people.
- A sense of insecurity: Locking doors, not being able to leave children alone in the street, being on guard among strangers.
If you are curious about the general effects of city life on mental health, you can take a look at our article on city stress.
Ways of Finding Your Feet in the City
Accept that adjustment takes time
Getting used to a new place can take months, even years. The sadness, loneliness and sense of being a stranger in the early period do not mean that you made the wrong decision. Migration research shows that adjustment is usually a process with ups and downs.
Build a small village
Within the vastness of the city, it is possible to create a small, familiar world for yourself. Buying bread from the same bakery every day, going regularly to the neighbourhood mosque or cemevi (Alevi house of worship), shopping at the same stall in the local market, and turning a greeting with one or two neighbours in your building into a conversation all weave a fabric of belonging within the city.
Give your day a structure
In the village, the day had a natural order: the animals in the morning, the fields at noon, visiting neighbours in the evening. In the city, however, the day can feel shapeless and long, especially for family members who are not working. Going for a walk at set times, signing up for a course, joining a volunteer activity in the neighbourhood or calling a relative at the same time each day gives the day points to hold on to. Structure is one of the simplest tools for reducing the feeling of being a stranger.
Use networks of people from your home region in moderation
Associations for people from the same home region, gatherings with families from the same area and weddings provide strong support in the early years of migration. But staying limited to this circle alone can delay forming bonds with the city. Keeping old ties while also being open to meeting new people is a balanced path.
Keep your connection with nature
Growing a few pots of tomatoes or peppers on the balcony, using the municipality's allotment gardens, and going to the park or out of the city at weekends keep your bond with the soil alive. For many people, these small activities are the most effective way of breathing in the city.
Do not be ashamed to learn the city's rules
Asking about a procedure you do not know, asking a relative to help you learn public transport and attending courses run by the municipality are not signs of weakness but an investment in a new life. The more you know, the less foreign the city seems.
Keep your connection with the village alive
Going to the village at religious holidays, at harvest time or in the summer holidays, phoning relatives regularly and telling the children stories of the village preserve your bond with your roots. Protecting your roots does not stand in the way of adjusting to the city; on the contrary, it gives you strength by reminding you who you are.
Remember your own worth
The knowledge and skills you have brought from the village are valuable: knowing the land, handcraft, resilience, a culture of helping one another, patience. Finding places in the city where you can use them strengthens your self-respect.
For example, someone who spent years doing garden work in the village could volunteer to help look after the shared garden of the building; someone skilled at handcrafts could find a new circle in a women's cooperative or community centre in the neighbourhood. Small contributions like these mean that you are seen in the city not just as a "newcomer" but as someone who gives something.
When Should You Seek Professional Support?
Feelings of sadness and being a stranger after migration usually ease with time. In the following situations, however, it can be helpful to talk to a professional:
- If, months later, low mood, an urge to cry and lack of motivation are not easing
- If leaving the house and seeing people is becoming more and more difficult
- If there are marked changes in sleep and appetite
- If arguments within the family caused by the move are wearing down relationships
- If you notice signs in your child such as difficulty adjusting at school, withdrawal or outbursts of anger
- If you feel hopeless, worthless and trapped
These signs do not on their own amount to a diagnosis; but they are important indications that the burden of migration is weighing on you.
How Are Migration and Adjustment Addressed in Therapy?
In therapy, what moving from the village to the city means for you, what you have left behind and what you are looking for in your new life are discussed together. It is acknowledged that migration has a dimension of loss, and room is made to grieve for the home, the land and the relationships left behind.
With a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) approach, thoughts such as "I'll never belong here" or "City people look down on me" are noticed and examined realistically. Small, practical steps are planned for building social connections, and enjoyable activities are built back into daily life. Tensions within the family created by generations adjusting at different speeds can also be brought into the sessions.
If the city's busy pace makes it hard to get to sessions, or if support is not available where you live, online therapy can also be an option. If you would like to read about the broader aspects of moving from a small place to a big city, our article on moving from a small town to a big city can also accompany you.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take to adjust after moving from a village to the city?
This varies from person to person. Some people get used to the new routine within a few months, while for others it can take years. Age, whether the move was voluntary, economic conditions and social support are the main factors that affect this period.
Does thinking about going back to the village mean I have failed?
No. The thought of going back is a common feeling during migration and can sometimes be a realistic option too. What matters is making this decision not on a sudden wave of emotion, but by weighing up economic, family and personal circumstances together.
My elderly parents became very unhappy when they came to the city. What can I do?
Being cut off from the life they are used to is very hard for older people. Creating meaningful activities in their daily lives, such as setting up a garden on the balcony, introducing them to people their own age in the neighbourhood and helping them keep up their ties with the village, makes adjustment easier. If the unhappiness continues for a long time, consulting a professional is helpful.
What should I do if my child is teased at school because we come from a village?
First, listen to your child calmly and show that what they are going through matters to you. It is necessary to work together with the school management and their teacher. At home, too, telling the story of their origins as something to be proud of, not ashamed of, protects your child's self-respect.
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Eda Erkan Alapala
Klinik Psikolog. İstanbul Kent Üniversitesi Klinik Psikoloji Tezli Yüksek Lisans mezunu; bilişsel davranışçı terapi, çocuk merkezli oyun terapisi ve çocuk-ergen psikoterapisi alanlarında eğitimlerini tamamlamıştır.
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